Oscar producer #2: Definitely Josh Duhamel and Megan Fox. I saw my son watching Las Vegas once. Who do old viewers like?

Oscar producers #3-#16 (in unison): BILLY CRYSTAL AND ROBIN WILLIAMS.

Oscar producer #1 (who also happens to be Vinnie Jones‘ agent): Ok. I heard “Billy Crystal,” “Robin Williams,” and I’m going to go ahead and toss Vinnie Jones in there too. I think a few people said “Vinnie Jones.”

And that’s presumably how we got this Oscar trailer, which features no fresh faces or ideas, but rather plays to the conception that Billy Crystal is some sort of long-retired Oscar guru, instead of some aged comedian that wasn’t funny enough to host anymore until Brett Ratner got all homophobic at a screening.

Well, (bland) mission (bland) accomplished!

In this 2012 Academy Awards trailer, we get a gag that seems to have come straight out of Bruce Vilanch’s ass (gross). The goal of this trailer is certainly to generate excitement for Billy Crystal’s hosting gig at the 2012. This proves to be a fool’s errand, as it’s simply impossible to get excited about anything Billy Crystal does these days. Clearly, his selection is a backlash against Franco and Hathaway’s poorly-received turn last year, but at least people talked about the Oscars the following days.

When people try to talk about the Oscars following the telecast on Sunday February 27th, plain oatmeal will ooze out their mouths and dribble down their chins.

Which, admittedly, will be the funniest thing about the Oscars this year.

The clip is a teaser in that it takes us right up to the moment of conflict, but it does peak my curiosity, but in wingsuits. Might they be made for formal occasions? I plan on gaining A LOT of weight this summer. Will I still be able to use one in mid-autumn if I weigh 400 lbs?

Anyway, here’s a clip of some army guys acting like sugar gliders. It’s cooler than it sounds.

Apparently, Heigl just adopted some poor kid and was looking for a project that wouldn’t require a huge time commitment. New Year’s Eve fits the bill, since as a follow up to Garry Marshall’s surprise hit Valentine’s Day it’s a big ensemble piece. Just a couple pinches of Heigl, as opposed to a whole dish. Dunno why I went with a food metaphor but whatever. New Year’s Eve will also star (deep breath) Robert De Niro, Sofia Vergara, Russell Peters, Hilary Swank, Ice Cube, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Josh Duhamel, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Seth Meyers, Jessica Biel and Til Schweiger. (via Deadline)

_{Back away slowly, Mark.}

Entertainment Tonight visited the set of Transformers: Dark of the Moon in Chicago in the very excited way that ET visits things. Star Shia LeBeouf was either playing along with the amped up enthusiasm, or he’s been dipping into the booger sugar between takes. I realize he’s a passionate guy and all, but something feels a little…twitchy about his demeanor.

ET also interviews newbie female lead Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who at least to me, doesn’t seem to have the same "Damn, who is that hot-ass girl?!" appeal as Megan Fox. Spielberg liked her though, so what the hell do I know. I’m sure she’s a better actor than Fox. Shit, Michael Bay’s a better actor than Fox. And speaking of Michael Bay, ET gets him on record saying James Cameron shot Avatar like a little bitch. He doesn’t use those exact words, but it’s pretty obvious he poo-poos green screen.

Go behind the scenes after the jump…

Everyone is concentrating on the poo on Katherine Heigl‘s face in the trailer for Life as We Know It, but no one is bringing to light the bigger issue: Josh Duhamel shoves a baby! The poor kid finally gets up the courage to take its first steps, and in order to stall her so Heigl can witness it, Josh gives the kid a hard shove in the stomach. Hey PTC, bring out the big guns.

The film centers on two single adults who can’t stand each other, but then become caregivers to an orphaned girl when their mutual best friends die in an accident. Let’s completely skip over the logistics of that, not to mention the irresponsibilty of the parents, and focus on the dead best friends. One of them is Josh Lucas, so no big loss there, but the other is Christina Hendricks. You sick bastards! How could you do this to us?! I’m so stricken with grief right now I could shove a baby.

Check out the trailer after the jump. Theaters adopt Life As We Know It on December 22, 2010.

Life as We Know It Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers

Director: Greg Berlanti

Cast: Katherine Heigl, Josh Duhamel, Josh Lucas, Christina Hendricks

Synopsis: Two single adults become caregivers to an orphaned girl when their mutual best friends die in an accident.

Release Date: December 22, 2010