Stroke or physical abuse?
Oh man, Woody Allen is really Woody Allening it up in the trailer for You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger. The film stars Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Freida Pinto, Antonio Banderas, Lucy Punch, and Gemma Jones all unhappily shuffling through life, falling in and out of love, as an omniscient narrator delivers the subtext.
It could be a sequel to Vicky Christina Barcelona with the unfortunate absence of Scarlett Johansson's pouty lips. Allen even managed to make Brolin a schlubby writer with self-esteem issues. Put down that hammer, Woody, you're breaking too much new ground!
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger plops down into theaters September 22, 2010.
Check out the trailer after the jump…
Director: Woody Allen
Cast: Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Lucy Punch, Gemma Jones
Synopsis: Unhappy people fall in and out of love in a Woody Allen fashion.
Release Date: September 22, 2010
Kinda hot, right?Plot details for Men In Black 3 have entered the Internet's atmosphere and they reveal the film will be set in the 1960's. In the film, Will Smith must travel through time to stop Jemaine Clement's evil alien Yaz from killing Agent K. The thought being that without K around to defend the galaxy time and time again, the world will be completely destroyed. Which is bad. But on the other hand, we wouldn't have to suffer through Tommy Lee Jones' portrayal of Two-Face in Batman Forever. It's a toss up for me.The Apple Store appears in the film as a time travel hub with the iPhone being the primary device for personal time travel. It still won't be able to make or accept calls though. Science fiction can only take you so far. (JoBlo)
It's a good thing Jonah Hex can communicate with the dead, because his new movie was D.O.A. this weekend, earning a meager $5.1 million at the box office. The film came in eighth place, well behind the Jonah Hill comedy, Get Him to the Greek, which earned a fourth place finish with $6.1 million.The fact that Get Him to the Greek is entering its third week adds insult to injury, considering the amount of hype Warner Bros. put behind this weekend's Hex premiere. Not to mention the fact that the widely panned Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time was considered box-office poison just a few weeks ago, but now looks like Avatar by comparison, edging out Hex with $5.2 million in its fourth week. (Coming Soon)
Megan Fox (Left) speaks with Edward James Olmos (Right) between takes.If the latest installment of the Jonah Hex trailer series is any indication, Hollywood is officially out of ideas.The original trailer, which premiered last month, told the story of the upcoming Jonah Hex movie staring Josh Brolin as the titular cowboy bounty hunter who straddles the world of the living and the dead. The trailer also featured Megan Fox and John Malkovich, and was cheered by fans and critics alike for its non-stop action and witty dialogue.Although the new trailer features the entire original cast, the sequel squanders any good will earned by the first installment. It is nothing more than a tired rehash of its predecessor, devoid of any original ideas whatsoever. Brolin, Fox and Malkovich should be ashamed to be associated with this transparent marketing ploy which seems to have the singular purpose of selling movie tickets to eager fanboys.Watch the pathetic new Jonah Hex trailer after the jump.
Jemaine Clement of "Flight of the Concords" fame is slated to play the villain in Men in Black III. Clement joins Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin and director Barry Sonnenfeld, who have all signed on to the project.While details are scarce, Collider is reporting that Clement will play an evil character named Yaz. Based on Clement's sideburns, one can only assume that "Yaz" is none other than Boston Red Sox's great Carl Yastrzemski, aka Mutton-chop Yaz.On the plus side, it would be hard to make a film any worse than MIB II. Unfortunately, Clement was already involved in the sci-fi related catastrophe, Gentleman Broncos, so anything is possible.
"I found this in Mrs. Lee Jones' sock drawer."Will Smith and Columbia Pictures have officially chosen a date, so you can stop asking all the time, Will Smith's mom. As foretold in the Ancient Scrolls of Fresh Princia, Men in Black 3D will indeed open Memorial Day Weekend 2012. Deadline reports that the sequel has set the film for a May 25th, 2012 release. Known in many circles as "Big Willy Weekend." Note: circles of idiots.Tommy Lee Jones has yet to sign on, nor has Josh Brolin. The production is in the process of finalizing their deals. It's unclear at this point which role Jaden Smith will be shoe-horned into, but I'm sure it will be justly earned. He'll earn it you guys.
A Malkovich handshake. We get it. He's got an ugly face. But the Jonah Hex trailer wants to make sure you fully understand that fact. Josh Brolin plays a scarred bounty hunter charged with hunting down his oldest enemy (John Malkovich, unfortunately not playing himself) who is preparing to unleash Hell. Megan Fox shows off her heaving bosom in a corset as another sexy dame that can shoot a gun with the greatest of ease. Also, Daniels from "The Wire" provides Jonah with weapons, and Will Arnett has a mustache and a word of advice. The only thing that's missing is Kenneth Branagh operating a mechanical spider. I'd like to see Jonah come up with a quippy one-liner for that. One that Will Smith doesn't already own. Check out the trailer after the jump. Jonah Hex saddles up in theaters June 18, 2010.
Apparently only Josh Brolin matters on the new poster for Jonah Hex. Sure, Megan Fox is wearing a corsett, and the target audience is more likely to care about her heaving bosom than Brolin's mangled face, but she doesn't even get a tiny credit above the hackneyed tag. Sweet gatling gun, Jonah. Ever tried to fire one with one hand? The kickback alone would rip your G.D. arm off. Then you'd be an amputee with bad skin. There's a name for people like you: Sally Punkin. We drove her to tears in middle school. Well not me, but people I knew… (Yahoo)
In case you can't wait for the Jonah Hex trailer dropping later this week, SyFy has 11 seconds of footage for your impatient ass. The movie has had so many different writers, directors, reshoots, and delays I can only imagine that the final product will be somewhere between tolerable and intolerable. Wait what, it features Megan Fox in a corset and gattling guns strapped to an aggravated stallion? Take my money, box office cashier! (Movieline)Check out the footage after the jump…