Judging by this trailer, it’s a lot of inconsistent stylization and some bizarre half-jokes from…yup, Will Smith.

The 1960s time-travel story line seems to be tenuous at best, as though a writers‘ room had settled on a script, then a junior writer raised his hand and said, “What about Mad Men?” Then the entire room decided that they needed to set the movie in Austin Powers 1960s rather than any era that actually existed.

One final note: The bikes that the agents ride look exactly like the vehicles from South Park that plug people’s asses and mouths, but are still better than going through security at the airport.

After ten years away from the screen, the MiB are still operating in secret under the nose of John Q. Public. A powerful enemy escapes their holding cell and travels backward in time to kill Agent K and rewrite history. Agent J, being the fan of history that he is, finds a way to jump back in time as well to stop the fiendish plot. This is a pretty vague first look, so let’s look forward to a longer, more plot-driven trailer. In other words, let’s see Alice Eve in some tiny 1960′s dresses.

With The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo’s release looming large on the horizon, Mara is a hot property right now. There’s no word yet on whether or not schedules will work out or what other projects are certainly coming Mara’s way. The only thing that is certain is that we won’t likely see her battle Freddy Krueger again anytime soon.

Oldboy opens with a man kidnapped and imprisoned for years, only to be released one day with no explanation. The film then follows Oldboy as he tries to put the pieces together and exact revenge. Things get worse for him before they get better.

Spike Lee is an interesting choice here, as he tends to dwell more on commentary than he does on character studies, though The 25th Hour is a glaring exception that gives hope for this project. This is the first casting announcement made, so the parts of Oldboy’s nemesis and his love interest remain outstanding. While Brolin doesn’t jump out as the perfect man for the job, he’s always good for a solid performance. One can hope that he’ll nail the idiosyncrasies and mania that plague the main character as well as Min-sik Choi did.

15. Shiny Suit Anthem (Drop Ya Shoulder)

14. (Tom) Cruise Control

13. Men In Black Having Sex (Smith is a Huge Dirty Work Fan)

12. Peep My Trailer! (#neighborsjustjealous)

11. Xenuphobia

10. Tommy Lee Jonesin’

9. Trilogy Means Three (Times The Cash)

8. Just The Two Of Us (Club Mix ft. Willow Smith, Jaden Smith, Katie Holmes, Jada Pinkett Smith, David Beckham)

7. Brolin’ Down The Street In My Six-Four

6. Phorgot About Philly

5. I Whip My Kids Back And Forth (Clean Version)

4. I Whip My Motherf*ckin’ Kids Back And Forth (Album Version)

3. Time Travelin’ (4 Some Reason)

2. Coulda Been Like Hammer

1. Jiggy Up Ya Summer (ft. Tyler, the Creator)

In exchange for these, all we ask for is one more scene where he’s yelling and pointing at someone while his teeth are clenched, but only because he loves them so damn much. He can wear a wife-beater or not. It’s entirely up to him.

There’s also word that screenwriter Mark Protosevich is drawing upon both the original Korean film and the Japanese manga book for the retelling. So don’t expect a straight-up remake. It’s still early days and Brolin is simply on the studio’s wishlist for right now. No words on Spike’s feeling about that. Idris Elba could still be in this thing! (Twitch)

They took this Brooklyn icon and warped it back to a time before Kelis shot her “Milkshake” video.

Will Smith explains to an exceptionally tall Josh Brolin the size of the hot dog he would like.

And naturally, it being Williamsburg, some hipsters rode by dressed outlandishly on an impractical bike. Look at those f&^%ing hipsters.

He’s in talks to play Mickey Cohen in Ruben Fleischer‘s Tales From The Gangster Squad. Playing a former boxer who got mobbed up and started leaving dead bodies in his wake, Penn will be hunted by police officers played by Josh Brolin and Ryan Gosling.

Because when you think of a tough as nails detective you think of Ryan Gosling. He looks like he should be doing commercials for children’s cough medicine, not getting into gun fights with Bugsy Siegel. (Deadline)

The production have yet to shoot the sequence that shows Will Smith’s Agent J in 1969, where he meets Josh Brolin as Young Tommy Lee Jones and Alice Eve as Young Emma Thompson. Perhaps those are the scenes that need the most work according to Sony. Either that or they want more jokes about how Elvis could totally secretly be an alien. (Deadline)

It’s got everything a Tim Burton could want: a lonely, deformed outcast living in a dark bell tower, who fights a ton of soldiers in a tragic love story. I can picture the Hot Topic merchandise already. Of course, Burton’s involvement depends on the quality of the script, which is being written by Kieran and Michele Mulroney (Sherlock Holmes). However, this story seems really right for Burton to over-produce, so my question is: how big a part will Johnny Depp have? (Hollywood Reporter)

Here they come, the Men In Black… galaxy delayers…

Looks like production has been delayed once again for director Barry Sonnenfeld‘s Men In Black III. The threequel halted filming once more to work on script issues, and after seeing Men In Black II, I believe that’s time well spent.

After a two month hiatus from December to February, the film was supposed to get back to shooting this week. That did not happen, and now the start date has been bumped back to March 28th. In the new entry into the series, Will Smith goes back in time to save a young Agent K (played by Josh Brolin) and the entire world (naturally). Perhaps the producers were planning on sending Smith back to the beginning of shooting with a copy of the finished script, to save the production a ton of money.

Etan Cohen (Tropic Thunder) wrote the original draft, and Jeff Nathanson (Catch Me If You Can) has been brought in to rewrite the 60s-era time travel scenes. I thought the fun of this series was watching Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith bust alien ass. Do we really want to see an Austin Powers-y version of MIB? Even though it’s in 3D, the description of the plot does not make me horny, baby.

MIB 3 is still scheduled to mind-wipe moviegoers on May 25th, 2012. (Collider)

It’s a good thing True Grit is a good movie, otherwise the critics would have had a field day rhyming with Grit. If grit were all you needed, this film would deliver on the grizzled men, dirty and grumbling with rotted teeth. Of course, you can also admire the story, the characters, the world, the humor and/or the action.

The Coen Brothers introduce the West with a wondrous tone. Soft music and deep shots full of frontier life portray the world Mattie Ross (Hailee Steinfeld) enters. She handles her business immediately, negotiating money, room and board for picking up her father’s body. She even knows what writ to cite when haggling with Colonel Stonehill (Dakin Matthews).

Rooster Cogburn’s (Jeff Bridges) introduction is magnificent. Mattie first meets him in an outhouse, which is brilliant, but we don’t see him until he’s on trial. The camera sweeps around the courtroom, welcoming the viewer in and working up to the close-up on Rooster. The cross-examination explains all of Rooster’s kills, and it’s so entertaining how Rooster just has his way with the lawyer.

The Coen humor is present immediately, with dark jokes about a public hanging (the native American doesn’t even get to say his last words, which is accurately racist and hilarious). A mortician’s line pays off bitterly. First he tells Mattie, “If you want to kiss it, it’ll be all right” meaning her dead father. Later when she stays in his house he says, “If you want to sleep in a coffin, it’ll be all right.” A kind offer, but man, that’s dark. It can be lowbrow humor too. Mattie has to share a bed with a snoring blanket hogging grandma.

Mattie hires Rooster to help her find and kill Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin), her father’s murderer. Texas Ranger LaBoeuf (Matt Damon) is along for the ride. Rooster trash talks the Rangers before ditching LaBoeuf, and then of course he bonds with Mattie. She’s so cool that you see how a grizzled gunslinger would take to her. Rooster’s rant about his ex-wife is funny filler for the journey.

The dialogue is just the right kind of old timey where it doesn’t sound like us, but we can follow what they say. The cinematography still has some Coen touches. The opening shot with house lamps on a dead body at the door step under the snow. Then there are the heroic low angle shots and the score will swell to the hero moments like when LaBeouf shows up again at exactly the moment he’s needed.

True Grit is just quality filmmaking. It captures exactly what the filmmakers were going for and delivers a show full of different aspects for audiences to enjoy.

Releasing one bad-ass poster for True Grit just isn’t enough to appease those Coen Brothers. As the film’s December release draws near, the marketing team is beginning their full press. In addition to the earlier broadsheet, we now have five new posters — four character posters and one group shot. The shots show each character ready to tussle in the name of retribution or have retribution dispensed on them. Collect all five to adorn your moody Western revenge drama themed man cave. They look cool and all, but I’d like to see one for Bear On Horseback. He’s the real star. (via IMDb and Empire)

^{What is this? ‘The Wicker Man‘?}

Hot on the heels of last week’s True Grit teaser comes the full length jump off. This time around we see a lot more of Bridges’s Cogburn, Damon’s La Beouf, and Brolin‘s cowardly Chaney. We also see someone dressed as a bear on horseback. What kind of crazy scheme are they trying to pull?

LA BEOUF: Alright. When Chaney sees me approach dressed as a bear, he’ll think I’m just after his pic-a-nic basket. That’s when we take him in.

Female bear with a bow in her hair mounts La Beouf. Cue “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.”

COCKBURN: Ah, raped by a bear. Seen it hundreds o’ times. Tis a shame.

Note that I haven’t read the script, so the events detailed above may not actually happen.

Check out the full length trailer after the jump…

True Grit isn’t messing around with its new poster. The tag "Punishment Comes One Way or Another" lets you know that sh*t is gonna get real, and real fast. The broadsheet style seems appropriate for the film, and Josh Brolin‘s name bleeding out is the perfect Coen Bros. touch. Sure, I’ll go ahead and check this one out come Christmas. It might be nothing short of awesome.

Emma Thompson has signed on to head up the Men in Black. The British actress who last played ugly, but I’m sure charming in her own right, Nanny McPhee will play Oh in Men in Black 3. Thompson will be the new boss in charge, as Rip Torn can no longer be trusted to keep a super secret government agency on the rails **mimes taking swig of whisky**. Good luck getting Tommy Lee Jones to take orders from a woman. He’s going to scowl a whole lot more than usual. (Deadline)

The teaser for Joel and Ethan Coen‘s True Grit just rode into town, and it looks like a good one. The action follows Hailee Steinfeld’s Mattie Ross as she teams with Jeff Bridges to hunt down the coward that killed her pappy. You might be quick to say that the Coens are trying to recapture the magic of No Country For Old Men, but that I really don’t see the similarities. For instance, this teaser keeps it fresh with sun-bleached Western scenery, gunfights, Josh Brolin, and dorky haircuts. Oh.

Check out the teaser after the jump…

True Grit: Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers

(Apple)

Patton Oswalt has signed on to play Charlize Theron’s chubby best friend in Young Adult. Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody, who last worked together on Juno, are teaming up again for the film about a woman who returns to he high school town to basically stalk her old boyfriend like she’s Marky Mark. The guy’s got a wife and kid now though, so he’s not interested in Charlize. Not interested? His Mrs. must do crazy sh*t in the sack.

Josh Brolin decided he couldn’t pretend Charlize isn’t worth leaving his wife for and now Patrick Wilson is in talks for the role. Seems like a missed opportunity to put Wilson in a fat suit and cast him as the best friend and Oswalt as the ex-boyfriend. I’d love to watch Charlize beg Oswalt to have sex with her and he looks up at her with stern eyes and proclaims, "No, Ugly!" (/Film)

In this new clip from Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, Gordon Gecko (Michael Douglas) and Bretton Woods (Josh Brolin) get all up in each others’ business practices. When Gecko takes Bretton to task for his sub-primes, you know it’s on like 4:59PM on the floor of the Stock Exchange. My brow gets sweaty just thinking of these two ruthless businessmen discussing market liquidity. You have to build up to that kind of conflict, though. 

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps crashes into theaters September 24th.

Check out the financial disses after the jump…

^{"No funny stuff, lady."}

Josh Brolin is considering letting Charlize Theron ruin his life. I thought Jonah Hex already took care of that, but I guess not. Brolin is up for the role of Charlize’s ex-boyfriend in Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody‘s next collabo Young Adult. If he signs on, Brolin will play the forme high school sweetheart to Theron’s successful YA author, who she decides to stalk. I hate when statuesque model types try to break themselves off a piece o’ this.

The movie is said to have a few humorous moments, but for the most part it will be "pretty serious and f*cked up." Just like that E.T. porno that’s been making the rounds. No, I won’t link you. Look it up, perv. (Showbiz 411)

_{Stroke or physical abuse?}

Oh man, Woody Allen is really Woody Allening it up in the trailer for You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger. The film stars Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Freida Pinto, Antonio Banderas, Lucy Punch, and Gemma Jones all unhappily shuffling through life, falling in and out of love, as an omniscient narrator delivers the subtext.

It could be a sequel to Vicky Christina Barcelona with the unfortunate absence of Scarlett Johansson‘s pouty lips. Allen even managed to make Brolin a schlubby writer with self-esteem issues. Put down that hammer, Woody, you’re breaking too much new ground!

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger plops down into theaters September 22, 2010.

Check out the trailer after the jump…

Director: Woody Allen

Cast: Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Lucy Punch, Gemma Jones

Synopsis: Unhappy people fall in and out of love in a Woody Allen fashion.

Release Date: September 22, 2010

^{Kinda hot, right?}

Plot details for Men In Black 3 have entered the Internet’s atmosphere and they reveal the film will be set in the 1960′s. In the film, Will Smith must travel through time to stop Jemaine Clement’s evil alien Yaz from killing Agent K. The thought being that without K around to defend the galaxy time and time again, the world will be completely destroyed. Which is bad. But on the other hand, we wouldn’t have to suffer through Tommy Lee Jones’ portrayal of Two-Face in Batman Forever. It’s a toss up for me.

The Apple Store appears in the film as a time travel hub with the iPhone being the primary device for personal time travel. It still won’t be able to make or accept calls though. Science fiction can only take you so far. (JoBlo)

It’s a good thing Jonah Hex can communicate with the dead, because his new movie was D.O.A. this weekend, earning a meager $5.1 million at the box office. The film came in eighth place, well behind the Jonah Hill comedy, Get Him to the Greek, which earned a fourth place finish with $6.1 million.

The fact that Get Him to the Greek is entering its third week adds insult to injury, considering the amount of hype Warner Bros. put behind this weekend’s Hex premiere. Not to mention the fact that the widely panned Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time was considered box-office poison just a few weeks ago, but now looks like Avatar by comparison, edging out Hex with $5.2 million in its fourth week. (Coming Soon)

_{Megan Fox (Left) speaks with Edward James Olmos (Right) between takes.}

If the latest installment of the Jonah Hex trailer series is any indication, Hollywood is officially out of ideas.

The original trailer, which premiered last month, told the story of the upcoming Jonah Hex movie staring Josh Brolin as the titular cowboy bounty hunter who straddles the world of the living and the dead. The trailer also featured Megan Fox and John Malkovich, and was cheered by fans and critics alike for its non-stop action and witty dialogue.

Although the new trailer features the entire original cast, the sequel squanders any good will earned by the first installment. It is nothing more than a tired rehash of its predecessor, devoid of any original ideas whatsoever. Brolin, Fox and Malkovich should be ashamed to be associated with this transparent marketing ploy which seems to have the singular purpose of selling movie tickets to eager fanboys.

Watch the pathetic new Jonah Hex trailer after the jump.

Jemaine Clement of "Flight of the Concords" fame is slated to play the villain in Men in Black III. Clement joins Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin and director Barry Sonnenfeld, who have all signed on to the project.

While details are scarce, Collider is reporting that Clement will play an evil character named Yaz. Based on Clement’s sideburns, one can only assume that "Yaz" is none other than Boston Red Sox’s great Carl Yastrzemski, aka Mutton-chop Yaz.

On the plus side, it would be hard to make a film any worse than MIB II. Unfortunately, Clement was already involved in the sci-fi related catastrophe, Gentleman Broncos, so anything is possible.

^{"I found this in Mrs. Lee Jones’ sock drawer."}

Will Smith and Columbia Pictures have officially chosen a date, so you can stop asking all the time, Will Smith’s mom. As foretold in the Ancient Scrolls of Fresh Princia, Men in Black 3D will indeed open Memorial Day Weekend 2012. Deadline reports that the sequel has set the film for a May 25th, 2012 release. Known in many circles as "Big Willy Weekend." Note: circles of idiots.

Tommy Lee Jones has yet to sign on, nor has Josh Brolin. The production is in the process of finalizing their deals. It’s unclear at this point which role Jaden Smith will be shoe-horned into, but I’m sure it will be justly earned. He’ll earn it you guys.

_{A Malkovich handshake.}

We get it. He’s got an ugly face. But the Jonah Hex trailer wants to make sure you fully understand that fact. Josh Brolin plays a scarred bounty hunter charged with hunting down his oldest enemy (John Malkovich, unfortunately not playing himself) who is preparing to unleash Hell.

Megan Fox shows off her heaving bosom in a corset as another sexy dame that can shoot a gun with the greatest of ease. Also, Daniels from "The Wire" provides Jonah with weapons, and Will Arnett has a mustache and a word of advice. The only thing that’s missing is Kenneth Branagh operating a mechanical spider. I’d like to see Jonah come up with a quippy one-liner for that. One that Will Smith doesn’t already own.

Check out the trailer after the jump. Jonah Hex saddles up in theaters June 18, 2010.

Jonah Hex Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers