Big Eyes is the story of famed (I guess) painter Margaret Keane and her husband, Walter Keane and the couple’s rise to fame in the 50′s and 60′s. If you’re uncertain why Burton would take on such a project that isn’t cartoon-y or CGI…

Hold your goddamn horses and take a gander at Keane’s work. Right here.

Makes sense now, doesn’t it?

The fourth biopic in the works is from Peter Facinelli, but we’re not really going to count that one, ok?

Depp is joining Barry Levinson‘s Black Mass to play Whitey Bulger, the man that served as the inspiration for Martin Scorsese’s Frank Costello in The Departed. The film will chronicle the rise and fall of the man himself, in a fashion that sounds remarkably analogous to the film Blow, only with a lot more Boston accents, which will make it far more hilarious.

He started out modestly with a bowler hat in Benny & Joon, before working his way to top hat with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Alice In Wonderland (with an extended sojourn into dreadlocks for Pirates of the Caribbean). Those looks were strange but not outrageous enough. Which leads us to The Lone Ranger‘s dead bird hat. Looking forward, is Depp attempting to out-crazy his craziest hat yet?

It looks like that is his intention.

Depp is considering taking the lead role in Mortimer Wintergreen. Based loosely on the 1987 Myron Levoy young adult novel The Magic Hat of Mortimer Wintergreen, the family film will focus on siblings who runaway to go on adventures with the titular character, a man who wears “a magical hat with a mind of its own.” Jack Thorne is writing, and Nanny McPhee‘s Susanna White is attached to direct. Depp will produce and potentially star but is waiting to see the script first. Unless someone starts shopping around a movie about a man made out of hats, you can likely count on his participation. (THR)

He’ll play Johnny, a new, smooth-talking gambler character created by both Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller for the film adaptation. Originally written for Johnny Depp, there’s no word whether or not the character will be renamed Joseph. It’s safe to say, however, that the character now won’t be expected to wear anything silly on his head. (THR)

Depp has closed a deal with Disney to produce a modern take on Don Quixote written by Jeff Morris and Hot Tub Time Machine director Steve Pink. There’s no word if Pink would direct or if Depp would star in the film. The only thing that is known is that Gilliam and his terrible luck will not be involved. He shouldn’t be too upset about it. This is the treatment one should expect when they secretly murder a gypsy in a hit-and-run accident. (Deadline)

Reviews of Silent House are almost evenly split with the consensus being gimmicky but scary, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Of course, real time isn’t for everyone as you’ll see with the real time films listed below. What do you think, is real time worthwhile or a waste of time?

16 Blocks

Bruce Willis plays a burnt out New York City detective tasked with escorting Mos Def (aka Mos) to his grand jury testimonial. However, Mos’s Eddie is set to testify against a crooked cop who will in turn bring down every crooked cop in the department. Willis and Mos then have 90 minutes to travel the sixteen blocks downtown with an army of cops trying to kill them. I recommend they just take 2nd Avenue. Everyone else swears by the FDR but I’ve had little luck on it.

Nick of Time

In Nick of Time, Johnny Depp plays a mild-mannered accountant who is ordered to assassinate a Governor in exchange for his daughter’s life. We know that he’s mild-mannered because his character isn’t wearing earrings, face paint, or a dead crow on his head. Christopher Walken is excellent as Depp’s kidnapper and tormentor. The lesson here: never get in a van with Christopher Walken.

But as the supercut of his silliest questions points out, when viewed out of context, he seems like a bitter, insulting master of dry sarcasm. He totally isn’t, but, how sweet it would be if he were. (Vulture)

In an effort to demonstrate that Wikipedia is a helpful tool, but by no means the alpha and omega of our efforts, we thought we would run through the 9 highest-grossing films of all time while Wikipedia is shut down. I challenge our readers to spot any difference in the quality of research.

Let the games begin.

9. Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland is of course based off a book of the same name, written by an author quite some time ago. The primary characters are Alice, Christopher Cat, the Wicked Queen, and the Mad Hatter. The film, despite being horrible, managed to gross millions of dollars, putting it in the #9 spot. To give you an idea of how much money this film grossed, imagine that for every dollar that it made, you stacked a ruler lengthwise on top of another ruler. The resulting tower of rulers would be many million feet tall!

8. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stronger Tides

Pirates of the Caribbean is a bit of a Cinderella story, in that many questioned not only how successful it would be, but why it was actually being made. No one wanted to take seriously a film that was based on a ride at Disneyworld or perhaps Disneyland. Maybe both. The first film, which was titled Pirates of the Caribbean: [SOMETHING], came a bit after Johnny Depp’s work on 21 Jump Street, but before his death. The film also starred Orlando Bloom, who I’m completely positive is dating that hot Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr. I don’t need Wikipedia to tell me who Miranda Kerr is banging.

Hmm. I know they were together like two years ago, but I also know it’s hard to stay faithful on movie sets. Especially with Salma Hayek and Keira Knightley around.

7. Toy Story 3

This was at least the 10th film by Pixar. Some of the other films they did were ANTZ, Bee Movie, and Shrek. This made more money than all of those films, possibly combined. Toy Story 3 was based on a script of the same name. Both the script and the film featured a cowboy, a deep sea diver named Hank, and myriad friends. This film also made millions of dollars. Steve Jobs was also involved in every Pixar movie. I believe he actually wrote the script for Mulan.

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp have been at work best friends for quite awhile. The bromance began back in 1990 when Depp starred in Edward Scissorhands. Lead roles in Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, The Corpse Bride, Sweeney Todd, Alice in Wonderland, and the upcoming Dark Shadows followed. Burton has also been known to cast his lady loves. First, Lisa Marie appeared in many of his films until he threw her over for now-wife Helena Bonham-Carter. It just goes to show that relationships come and go, but the bond of bromance is forever.

David Gordon Green and Danny McBride

Buddies since film school, it’s rare that David Gordon Green takes on a project without Danny McBride in tow. McBride appeared in a weirdly-unfunny role in Green’s All the Real Girls before he honed his chops and became a comedy sensation. A role that helped launch him was that of Red in Green’s first studio film, Pineapple Express. They’ve been good ol’ boying around ever since with Your Highness, Good Vibes, and Eastbound & Down.

Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio

De Niro who? Martin Scorsese has found a new muse in Leonardo DiCaprio. The director and actor first began working together on Gangs of New York, and continued that relationship through ambitious films like The Aviator, The Departed, and Shutter Island. There are also rumors that the duo may re-team for a remake of The Gambler.

There’s something about seeing the true-life story, or the semi-true-life story, of a legit badass like Hunter S. Thompson on the big screen that appeals to people. Unlike a fictional account, you can actually find something to aspire to, or at least have fantasies about a cool new drinking buddy.

With that in mind, here are seven badass biographical and semi-biographical films.

Der Baader Meinhof Komplex

What could be sexier than a bunch of German communist terrorists who dress like the Velvet Underground? This movie doesn’t white wash terrorism, but it sure does provide it with a glamorous edge during the first two acts. Watch as chic Germans smoke cigarettes, wear sunglasses, steal cars and blow up American army installations. You can get a history lesson while you watch this and it’s one action film your girl won’t mind watching with you in the least.

Boogie Nights

No, Dirk Diggler is not a real guy. He is, however, loosely based on John Holmes, AKA Johnny Wadd, with many scenes, such as the classic interaction with the Ric Springfield-loving crack dealer, lifted directly from his life. This film ages like a fine wine, with classic interactions and one-liners like “You know, people tell me I kind of look like Han Solo.” We were as surprised as anyone else when we found out Marky Mark could act.

Considering that he plays the alcoholic, pansexual PIRATE Jack Sparrow in the Pirates franchise, you wouldn’t think there would be much of an issue with an actor playing another role, even one such at Paul Kemp in The Rum Diary.

I guess he’s not the fun kind of alcoholic in that film. Maybe his contract stipulates that he can only portray depraved characters if he has scarves in his hair. I have the same clause in my pre-nup with my wife, which is why I’ve gone as Steven Tyler the past nine Halloweens.

Cast: Johnny Depp, Giovanni Ribisi, Aaron Eckhart

Synopsis: American journalis Paul Kemp takes on a freelance job in Puerto Rico for a local newspaper during the 1950s and struggles to find a balance between island culture and the ex-patriots who live there.

Release Date: October 28, 2011

After a spiraling budget and bizarre script that contained, among other things, werewolves, Disney put everyone associated with the project in time-out until they could reach a hard budget of $215 million. Now that the budget is there, The Lone Ranger is once again in production. Reportedly, the poor box office performance of Cowboys and Aliens had Disney execs concerned about the viability of high-concept westerns, even those that star Johnny Depp as a Native American sidekick.

The big question now is whether or not the delayed 2012 start will afford Verbinski and Co. the ability to adhere to their December 21, 2012 release date. (Deadline)

Who to choose? Who to choose?

Robert Downey Jr

Robert Downey Jr. has already proven he can effectively lip sync Elton John’s music in the video for “I Want Love.” He’s also wrestled with his own substance abuse issues. I’m not certain whether or not he can play the piano but there’s no reason that should be a strike against him.

Justin Timberlake

Justin Timberlake has actually played a young Elton John before during the Rocketman’s phase where he was too lazy to appear in his own videos. This was just around the time that Timberlake had gone solo and was looking to branch out into acting and there’s no better way to sever your boy band image than by appearing on-screen with simulated orgies and cocaine use. Just ask Rod, the little-known fourth member of Hanson.

Carol Burnett

She’s no stranger to loud jackets and she’s got the haircut down. No doubt in my mind that this could be Carol Burnett’s comeback project.

The original film is considered a classic and spawned five sequels, which I’m sure is intriguing to Depp. It would be nice to slur his way through the same character constantly without having to slip into a pirate costume to do so. The reboot is being planned as a Sherlock Holmes-esque update that will mix high adventure with the iconic characters. Rob Marshall will direct, so expect a little song and dance as well.

No word on who will play Nora or the couple’s dog. (Deadline)

A lot of questions were raised by Friday’s news that the plug had been pulled on The Lone Ranger until the budget could be brought down from the current $250 million. Screenwriter Ted Elliott shed some light on the project, much of which explains the huge budget. You can go ahead and cringe now, just to get it out of the way.

It was going to be a Tonto show mainly. Tonto as the top dog and more dominant than the Lone Ranger. Tonto and the Indian spirits like Obi Wan Kenobi and the force. The driving engine was going to be Native American occult aspects worked in with werewolves and special effects, [b]ut flavored with doses of Native American spirituality in a serious way.

Also, the recent flop Cowboys and Aliens soured the studio on the mashup of werewolves and cowboys and Indians. Possibly they were turned off of the idea of a mashup, and possibly they just realized that sometimes audiences don’t like really dumb movies.

So now we have to wait for Disney to replace all the werewolves with sexy vampires, and we’ll be good to go.

Though it probably has little to do with the shutdown, an announcement was made earlier this week that Brad Pitt‘s World War Z was going head to head with the Disney project, also picking a release date of December 21, 2012.

The project, though initially met with eye-rolling over another adaptation, seemed to be pulling in some quality actors in the way of Dwight Yoakam, Helena Bonham-Carter, and Barry Pepper. Shifting popular sentiment to “cautiously optimistic,” which on the internet, is equivalent to walking on water.

While the budget trimming makes sound financial sense, I can’t imagine a world in which a Johnny Depp Disney film fails to be profitable. Maybe they just don’t trust that Armie Hamer kid. Did you know there weren’t even two of him in The Social Network? He deceived us.

The comic book is written by Sam Sarkar, who is, probably not coincidentally, an exec at Infinitum Nihil. It’s not known whether Depp will have any role in the film beyond producer, as his availability lessened with the upcoming Lone Ranger and the inevitable Pirates of the Caribbean #’s 5-27.

I’m trying to find an angle here beyond “generic graphic novel adaptation,” but there doesn’t seem to be much to work with other than “Johnny Depp will produce,” which isn’t likely to blow the hair back of most moviegoers. He just doesn’t “wow” in a production capacity like Brian Grazer does. (THR)

8 photosBlake Lively

So let’s see, Leonardo DiCaprio is handsome, rich, dates models, dates Blake Livelys, and has worked with Kirk Cameron AND the critters from Critters. Charmed life.

Dale would play the Lone Ranger‘s older brother, Dan Reid and leader of the Texas Rangers, while Pepper would play Captain J. Fuller, the leader of the 7th Cavalry, because the law requires Pepper to play an Army guy whenever the opportunity is there.

In a refreshing change, Helena Bonham Carter, who is not as far along in talks as the other entrants, would play the proprietor of a local brothel, or “female pimp” as I would like to regard her. Variety describes her character as “colorful,” because pimps are colorful.

These all sound like pretty solid additions to for film that has been criticized by many (myself included) as a gratuitous remake from the Disney machine. What can I say? Dwight Yoakam knows how to bring the gravitas.

Depp’s production company Infinitum Nihil (really pretentious name or MOST PRETENTIOUS NAME EVER?) is pitching to Disney a reboot of the made-for-TV 1970′s movie The Night Stalker, in which Depp would presumably play fictional journalist Carl Kolchak, who would break cases, several of which involved the supernatural.

The second project is a film about Paul Revere. More specifically, it’s about his midnight ride warning the colonists that the British were coming. The guys behind Batman Forever are writing the script. (Cue sad tuba music.)

While nothing has been set here, it sounds like Disney is very interested in both these projects, probably because Johnny Depp is interested in them. We got the Rum Diaries, The Lone Ranger, and possibly Pirates 5 up first, though. (Deadline)

Considering that Pirates: On Stranger Tides just crossed the $1 billion mark globally, there WILL be a Pirates 5. And considering that Johnny Depp has made $350 million from the first four installments, he will be be returning to his character Captain Jack Sparrow.

Of course, don’t expect Pirates 5 to come flying out of the studios. Depp has mentioned that he regrets not spacing out the installments a little further to give the public time to digest. He may get his wish whether he still believes that or not, seeing as how he is booked for Tim Burton‘s Dark Shadows, followed by his role as Tonto in Disney’s The Lone Ranger. So if you wanted to see Depp broadening his horizons the near future with projects that aren’t remakes, sequels, or the requisite Tim Burton project, you might have to go rent Dead Man and Chocolat, because it doesn’t seem there will be anything matching that description hitting theaters for a while. (The Wrap)

Disney will release The Lone Ranger on December 21, 2012. Now you know what to see on Christmas day before you gorge on Chinese food. Hi ho, Silver! and all that jazz. The film, directed by Gore Verbinski, stars Armie Hammer as the titular Lone Ranger and Johnny Depp as his trusty sidekick, Tonto. I’m personally excited to see what new funny voice Depp will come up with this time. Or his take on the cliché Native American speech pattern.

Ang Lee‘s Life of Pi and Judd Apatow’s next film also release on December 21, 2012. That is until they realize they’re opening against a Johnny Depp film.

6 photosDaphne Joy

Screenwriter Terry Rossio already turned a draft of Pirates 5 to Disney. (CinemaBlend)