Close, Mike. Very close. but a sneaky punch to the back of the head is actually a RABBIT punch. Rabbit. We were looking for “rabbit.” Tough break.

One look at that bespectacled man in the argyle sweater vest and it’s pretty clear that Mike never stops thinking about donkey punches. He subscribes to Donk Punch Quarterly, and he probably has one of those person-shaped punching bags in a face down position so that he can just donkey punch away all his frustrations.

This video would go from “video of the day” to “video of the year” if Alex Trebek walked over to Mike’s lectern, gave him a pound, blew it up, then as he was returning to his mark, gave Betsy a playful mock donkey punch, to which the audience responded in Arsenio Hall Show-fashion with uproarious “whoop whoop whoop”s.

This…is Jeopardy.

I’ll take links for $100 and also some shame:

The Top-Five Candidates for an EGOT (MovieLine)

How Not to Drink Flaming Everclear (BarstoolSports)

Holy Taco’s Guide to Sexting (HolyTaco)

Someone Made a Three-Hour Resevoir Dogs Porno (FilmDrunk)

Cameron Diaz is Super Ripped (CelebJihad)

Alice In Wonderland Demonstrates Drug Use (Unreality)

10 Movies The Oscars Made Famous (MovieFone)

The Most Uncomfortable Talk Show Moments (PopEater)

Seven Reasons Why a Pet Monkey is a Horrible Idea (Smosh)

The 13 Hottest Wonder Woman Costumes In Pop Culture History (Ranker)

150 of the Greatest Movie Lines and Catchphrases (BroBible)

Meet the New Wonder Woman (Maxim)

Celebrities You Had No Idea Were Married/Kind-of-Married (Pajiba)

Nine Reasons to Watch the Oscars (NextMovie)

Rico Rodriguez On Why the UFC Won’t Have Him Back (CagePotato)

2011 Oscars Cheat Sheet (MadeMan)

Dead Island Trailer Parodies (GameFront)

Raiden is a Terrible Roommate (TuVez)

IBM’s artificial intelligence software Watson will continue to compete on “Jeopardy” this week, in the form of a creepy computer. Walking computer encyclopedias Brad Rutter and Ken Jennings, two “Jeopardy” legends in the mighty Battlefield of Trivaland, are so far holding strong against the knowbot. Watson answered one question with “What is leg?,” which made it look like a total asshole.

So far, at the end of day one of three, Watson is tied for the lead with Rutter with $5000. I say, if it looks like it’s gonna win, unplug him. With the economy as bad as it is still, we can’t take any chances that some trivia bot with a desktop pattern that looks like sperm inseminating an egg is gonna take-our-jobs. (TV Squad)

Much like the Playstation version of “Jeopardy!“, the computer is able to ring in first and nail all the softball questions. I don’t mean to imply any cheating is going on here, and it is a pretty amazing clip, but that computer sounds suspiciously like Alex Trebek. What is that Canadian planning?

The main event kicks off on February 14th when past champions Jennings and Brad Rutter go against Watson for reals. However it’s totally understandable if you just have your grandmother tape it for you. (via Warming Glow)

What is a luck break, Alex? 12-year old Thomas Horn made headlines after winning $31,000 on “Jeopardy!” Not only did he get to make small talk with Alex Trebek, but that appearance has now lead to his casting in Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close. He’ll join the Tom Hanks/Sandra Bullock drama as a young boy who loses his father in the World Trade Center collapse on September 11th, 2001. He finds a key in his father’s belongings and sets forth to discover what it unlocks. Oh God, please don’t let it be a gun.

Good for Horn, though. It’s got to feel pretty good at any age to have such a whirlwind life. To think, one minute you’re winning on “Jeopardy!,” the next you have a successful film career. Sorry, “Weird” Al. (Deadline)