The first show will air on VH1 and will be called The Jenny McCarthy Show, which, judging by the description, sounds just like Chelsea Lately. Don’t believe me? From the press release:

“The Jenny McCarthy Show,” which is still in “early development stages,” will “celebrate as well as skewer everyone and everything in pop culture, news, fashion, TV, movies and the web,” according to VH1. McCarthy will be joined by guest panelists and celebrity interviewees.

See? Chelsea Lately.

Because that show alone doesn’t quite meet our RDA of McCarthy, she’ll also be hosting a more inspired, but equally dumb NBC reality program called Love in the Wild, in which contestants compete in nature and try to find love among each other.

I’d say something funny, but I’m just not going to watch either one of these shows.

MCCARTHYISM IS BACK!

However, as the word “equality” would indicate, the floodgates to vote were opened to all women, much as they are to all men, regardless of their ability to make an informed decision about any mundane detail, let alone who the nation’s leader should be. So while there is no question that there are millions of men who would be just as at home on a list like this, there are also millions of women. However, since I don’t feel like writing this article for the next 20 years, I’ve dropped the number to nine and limited the scope to actresses.

Some people just aren’t fit to govern themselves.

9. Tara Reid

We are all really excited about the Big Lebowski sequel that Reid has up her sleeve. Even though neither Coen brother, nor any of the original cast members were aware of such a sequel, she took the liberty of announcing it to the world while outside of a charity event earlier this year.

When she’s not imagining her own sequels, she can also be found absently staring off into space or exposing her breasts on red carpets. But she’s got a soft side, too. Just ask her dog Stoli. Seriously. She named an animal “Stoli.”

8. Paris Hilton

Criss Angel? She definitely would have voted Nader.

The 26th amendment dropped the voting age from 21 to 18, effective in 1971. However, this threshold only considers actual age, and not emotional or intellectual age. If either of those were factors, not only would Paris Hilton not be voting, but she’d probably be running around in Jolly Jumper, wetting her Huggies.

Ironically enough, she was a champion of the “Vote or Die” voting campaign in 2004. Easy choice. “Die,” Paris.

7. Suzanne Somers

When she’s not appearing on late night talk shows stoned out of her gourd, she’s taking her precious moments of clarity to share pearls of wisdom such as “chemotherapy drugs really killed Patrick Swayze.” Don’t expect to get rid of her anytime soon, though, as her newest compulsion has bee fighting aging.

She wages this battle by injecting her vagina (you can go ahead and make your own joke here; I’m tired) with various drugs, and taking a literal bucketful of supplements and vitamins. I wasn’t thrilled that Michael Jackson had the right to vote, and it’s pretty clear that Ms. Thighmaster is quickly on the same course as the King of Pop.