Please read on, and if you ever find yourself in a Friday the 13th film, learn from the mistakes of others. The life you save will be your own.

Ignoring Locals

If you’re new to an area, it’s common practice to ask a local which restaurant or bar they recommend. So why would you ignore them when they warn you not to go into the woods? Granted, they are sometimes vague with their warnings, but if I stop in at a diner and a slack-jawed yokel warns me to stay away from Camp Blood because “it’s HIS camp,” and folks go missing there, I’m inclined to listen. Sorry, gang. Camping trip’s over. Let’s backtrack to that Dave & Buster’s we passed.

Getting Wasted

Camping wouldn’t be half as much fun without drugs and alcohol. But these need to be enjoyed in moderation. You need to keep your wits about you. What if a wolf or bear or hockey mask-adorned living corpse were to attack your campsite? What then? No great escape was ever made by running in a wobbly line.

Reunited and it feels so good.

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