Screen Junkies » janet jackson Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Wed, 27 Aug 2014 18:35:11 +0000 en hourly 1 Lame: 13 Celebrities Hospitalized For “Exhaustion” Thu, 26 Jan 2012 15:38:52 +0000 David Dietle I've been Tweeting all day. Take me to the hospital!

The post Lame: 13 Celebrities Hospitalized For “Exhaustion” appeared first on Screen Junkies.

If you have seen any entertainment news at all in the past day and a half, then you know that Demi Moore was just treated for “exhaustion,” a dire condition suffered by rich assholes who have forgotten what stress was like, and now lose their shit when they encounter some. Okay, maybe that was a little harsh; it’s entirely possible that they are simply covering up something embarrassing/illegal with the exhaustion, which is basically the philosophy degree of medical ailments. For instance, Demi probably bent her penis grudge-f*cking Ashton’s replacement, and Tracy Morgan‘s body probably rejected the clean mountain air of Park City, Utah, what with its lack of inhalants and ozone-depleting levels of vaporous Mormonism.

(Update: Turns out Demi was actually hospitalized after huffing nitrous oxide. Really, whip-its? You’re a millionaire, not a 13-year-old boy loitering behind a Missouri Walmart.) explains “exhaustion” as follows:

Most people feel tired after a busy day, but bona fide medically diagnosed exhaustion is something else entirely. Exhaustion may also be described as fatigue, languidness, lassitude, listlessness, lethargy and languor. Fatigue or exhaustion symptoms are reported by the patient as opposed to being something that is observed by others, which would be a sign instead of a symptom.

Okay, so now I’m more confused than I was, although likely the person writing that was suffering from being retarded.

Demi and Tracy are just the latest to come down with exhaustion. There is a veritable army of celebrities who have checked themselves in to hospitals because life was too tough at the top of a pile of money.

Mariah Carey

Back in 2001, Mariah Carey checked into a hospital because she was tired. I’m sorry, “extreme exhaustion,” which is probably exhaustion dyed bright green, base jumping. She did it again in 2002, and her PR people assured the world that it was because she was overworked, and totally not because she was having psychological problems, which, of course, means she was likely losing her shit. Her PR people apparently come from the school of thought where they think the best way to divert attention from something is to call attention to it. If she had publicly crapped her pants, they would have said she changed her pants due to exhaustion, not because she shat herself on stage.

Selena Gomez

As bad as I would love to rip on her, I will take it easy on Ms. Gomez. First off, she’s just a kid (what is she? 15?), and I do buy that a barely-legal girl who has spent the last several years in front of a camera might actually be malnourished. It’s not like mom set her up to make the best decisions, seeing as how her mom stuck her with freaking Barney when she was 10. That type of thing leads to all kinds of “different” behavior, like dating other girls. Kudos to her mom for being open minded, though. I’m sure Justin will one day make Selena a great wife. Just get the kid a damn cheeseburger.

The post Lame: 13 Celebrities Hospitalized For “Exhaustion” appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]> 0 mariah carey selena-gomez
Janet Jackson Gets To Make A Movie Now Wed, 16 Mar 2011 01:35:40 +0000 Geoffrey Golden The Queen of the Malfunctioning Wardrobe scored a 1-picture deal with Lionsgate. I want to know how nasty it will be.

The post Janet Jackson Gets To Make A Movie Now appeared first on Screen Junkies.

Ever leave the movie theater and think, “that was okay, but what if Janet Jackson had made that movie instead? Wouldn’t that be better?” No? Not once? Well, Lionsgate thinks you thought that, because the studio just gave her a movie deal.

Jackson has starred in several Tyler Perry films for the studio, including Why Did I Get Married?, Why Did I Get Married, Too? and Madea Goes To Mars. Okay, I made up one of those titles, but I bet you can’t guess which one it was.* While you’re figuring it out, the Queen of the Malfunctioning Wardrobe had this to say about her 1-picture deal:

“My experiences of working with the creative group at Lionsgate have been powerful and exciting,” Jackson said in a statement. “We’ve made three films together so far, directed by the gifted and prolific Tyler Perry. There is genius at this studio in every department. They don’t just make films, they nurture artists who want to make great films.”

No argument about the “prolific” part. Also, no word on what the project will be, or even how nasty it will be. Only that she’ll be in control of the development process and is attached to produce. (TheWrap)

*It was Why Did I Get Married, Too?

The post Janet Jackson Gets To Make A Movie Now appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]> 1 janet-jackson