Henry’s Crime is one of those quirky indie movies. It probably ranks on the higher end of that scale, just by the A-list cast and cinematic production value. I don’t think it’s great or memorable, but as one of the unorthodox releases this weekend, it may interest some of you.

Henry Torne (Keanu Reeves) gets tricked into driving getaway for a bank robbery, and he’s the one who does the time for it. When he’s free, he decides he’d like to rob the bank for real, since he already went to jail for not robbing it. He gets his prison buddy Max (James Caan) out to assist him.

The hook is that there’s a tunnel leading from the local theater to the bank vault, from Prohibition era. So Henry strikes up a relationship with local actress Julie (Vera Farmiga) and ultimately ends up playing a role in their production of “The Cherry Orchard.” Isn’t that quirky? A bank heist AND a local theater production. Oh, the hilarity.

I’ve always been a Keanu defender. You would not have loved The Matrix so much if he weren’t playing it like a kid discovering his first Nintendo. Henry’s Crime allows him to be more understated than ever, because he’s a stifled sad sack. It’s the bland guy coming to life, a formula as trite in the indie world as the rom-com is in mainstream movies.

Max and Henry case the bank and the theater while Henry romances Julie. They have some technical problems to figure out, like dealing with the dirt from the tunnel. Along the way, more characters horn in on their scam. Ultimately Henry is torn between acting and going through with the plan.

It’s so mellow, it’s hard to get excited about Henry’s Crime, but maybe you want to see James Caan as another badass mastermind, or Reeves stretching from stoic leading men. There’s actually a good production of “The Cherry Orchard” in there, until Julie and Henr break character to deal with their actual relationship. Director Malcolm Venville makes the film look professional, so it will certainly stand out in an arthouse theater surrounded by first time foreign features.

In a curmudgeonly rant against email and texting, Caan mentioned offhand that he feels theaters need to turn movies into “an event” to keep them competing with the convenience of on-demand films in homes. Jimmy C suggested that theaters “have a couch, a table and drinks or something” to offer more to audiences.

Personally, I think that James Caan got jaded by living at the Playboy mansion and overestimates the average American’s home theater setup when compared to Hef’s. Further, my living room is really crammed with a de facto harem when I watch Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, so I’m eager to take every chance I can to get out of the house.

Director: Malcom Venille

Cast: Keanu Reeves, Judy Greer, Vera Farmiga, James Caan

Synopsis: An aimless man is sent to prison for a crime he did not commit.

Release Date: 2010

That might sound like a half-way descent premise, but don’t let it fool you. The subplot involves a love interest (Vera Farmiga) and a local theater troupe lead by an old-Russian guy. If I wanted to listen to some old commie spout platitudes, I’d rent a Susan Sarandon movie.

_{The Internet used to suck.}

The Internet is good for a few things besides revitalizing Betty White’s career, and Middle Men is here to remind us of that. The new film is inspired by the brave heros who brought porn to the Internet, and molded it into the universe it has become. Luke Wilson stars as a businessman who helps guide the first online billing company that deals exclusively with adult entertainment. Judging from their unkempt look and sparring habits, Giovanni Ribisi and Gabriel Macht co-star as the staff of ScreenJunkies.com. Oh, I’ve just been told that they play the programmers who invent the billing method. I was close.

Soon the trio are caught in the middle between porn stars, fabulous riches, Russian mobsters, the FBI, and Luke Wilson once again has to tangle with Mr. Henry. It’s weird to see him without Rowboat.

PAY SOME RESPECT TO THE INTERNET’S HERITAGE AFTER THE JUMP…

Middle Men – Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers

Middle Men opens in theaters August 6th, 2010.

Director: George Gallo

Cast: Luke Wilson, Giovanni Ribisi, Gabriel Macht, James Caan

Synopsis: Businessman Jack Harris (Luke Wilson) had the perfect life – a beautiful family and a successful career fixing problem companies. And then he met Wayne Beering (Giovanni Ribisi) and Buck Dolby (Gabriel Macht), two genius but troubled men, who had invented the way adult entertainment is sold over the internet.

Release Date: August 6, 2010