Screen Junkies » james bond

Nicolas Cage Spruces Up Your Favorite Films

Wookie Johnson — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 22:22:06 +0000

Nicolas Cage can’t possibly be in every movie, you guys. He can only do between five and eight a year. Luckily, PleatedJeans figured out how to correct history’s wrongs.

Business Lessons We’ve Learned From James Bond

Penn Collins — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 20:58:27 +0000

Because you’re skimping on your tuition, let’s call this class 101 of the Screen Junkies MBA*. We’ve seen what Mr. Suave can do with a gun, a car, and a woman, but he’s also got the chops of a magnate that we haven’t seen since Gordon Gekko or Thomas Crown. Thank CollegeHack for the education you’re about to get. Now let’s watch the millions roll in…

*Not a real MBA at all.

Adele To Bring Her Brand Of Chubby Heartache To New James Bond Theme

Penn Collins — Mon, 17 Sep 2012 15:46:54 +0000

In case you’re the type of person that gets excited by Adele’s involvement in things, here ya go: The oft-heartbroken, now-pregnant-which-will-undoubtedly-lead-to-more-heartbreak Adele has been ID’d as the sing of the next James Bond theme song. The song will be for the next Bond installment Skyfall, starring Daniel Craig and Javier Bardem.

The name of the song will be “Skyfall,” which goes in quotes because it’s the title of a smaller work, and that’s how that rule works.

It’s always fun to see how the singers will shoehorn the movie title into the lyrics, and I’m sure Adele will be no exception. Perhaps the “skyfall” will be from love, and it’s like, a metaphor. Maybe skyfall will be heartbreak.

Yeah. That could work for her.

Rest Assured, Javier Bardem Has Silly Hair In Full ‘Skyfall’ Trailer

Wookie Johnson — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 15:09:11 +0000

Much like all recent spy movies, the trailer for Sam Mende’s Skyfall opens with MI6 losing sensitive information about their embedded agents, and the consequent fallout those agents experience when telemarketers begin to call their cells during dinner. Then James Bond pretends to be dead. That’s one way to shake those telemarketers.

Most thrilling about this trailer, besides the action and the women is Javier Bardem‘s hair. The man is a treasure when it comes to absense of silly wig vanity. He’s right up their with Samuel L. Jackson and those Kitty Wigs cats.

Bond Girl Gallery: 007 Has Crushed A Lot Of Ass

Wookie Johnson — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 20:00:19 +0000

Before we know it, James Bond’s latest adventure SkyFall will be in theaters. This chapter promises to pick up the action and pull the serious out of its recent slump. No matter what your thoughts about Quantum of Solace are, you can’t deny that it delivered in terms of Bond Girls. Well, it looks like SkyFall isn’t about to drop that ball either.

It was recently announced that Greek actress Tonia Sotiropoulou will join the previously cast Berenice Marlohe and Naomie Harris as women who will bump uglies with the world’s greatest spy. Don’t get too attached, ladies. As you can see above, Bond has crushed a lot of ass and isn’t really the relationship type.

Flying Robots Perform The ‘James Bond’ Theme Song, For Realz

Jame Gumb — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 16:30:41 +0000

Normally when you hear the words “flying” and “robots” you immediately think of some crappy Michael Bay movie. But today, when I mention flying robots, I’m not talking about some CGI bullshit. I’m talking about honest-to-goodness flying robots. And rather than causing death from above, as flying robots are wont to do, these little animatronic bastards are performing the theme song from the James Bond movies. What an age we live in.

For this years TED 2012 conference, Engineers at the University of Pennsylvania pre-programmed the quadrotors to play the iconic song using instruments such as a a keyboard, cymbals, and a giant guitar custom made out of a couch frame. After all, its hard to play a regular guitar while you’re flying through the air. Just as John Denver. Zing!

What, too soon? (EW)

This Week In PR Bullsh*t: The First Official ‘Skyfall’ Still

Jame Gumb — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 16:27:26 +0000

When it’s your job to cover movie related bullsh*t, it’s kind of stupid to call something out for being bullsh*t. So if you want to call bullsh*t on my calling of bullsh*t, that’s fair. Either way, the release of the “first official still‘ from the new James Bond film, Skyfall, is probably the biggest PR non-event of the week.

Let’s say the average move lasts about 90 minutes. I’m not exactly Rain Man, but that breaks down to 5,400 seconds per film. Assuming this film was shot at 24 frames per second, that comes out to 129,600 frames per film. So by looking at this boring picture of James Bond holding a gun, you’ve just witnessed 1/129,600_th of the movie. Excited yet?

Thanks so much, MGM! My life really does have a purpose, and it’s bringing people joy one pointless still at a time! Now 2/1/2012 will be remembered as the day we first saw a frame from Skyfall rather than the day that a hack movie blogger put his head in the oven.

Click “Next Page” to see the stupid pic…

Daniel Craig In Talks For 5 More ‘Bond’ Films After ‘Skyfall’

Penn Collins — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 19:43:26 +0000

Regardless of how you feel about Daniel Craig, can we all agree that the fact that he’s considering signing on for eight James Bond films is a little much? People UK has reported that he’s in talk to carry on the franchise for five more films (six if you count the upcoming Skyfall).

I’m lukewarm to Craig as Bond and the Bond franchise in general. In fact, the only thing that really gets me into the theater to see a Bond film is the debut of a new actor as James Bond, which this news would preclude for quite some time. In fact, I don’t really know who would benefit from having Craig play Bond for 15 more years or so. Yuck.

The public would get tired of him (Brosnan only did three, and he felt like he owned the James Bond role for twenty years), Craig would have to sacrifice some far more prestigious roles, and the studio wouldn’t get the boost of reinvigorating the franchise with someone like Michael Fassbender (good), or Idris Elba (really, really good).

I could understand someone like Timothy Dalton, an actor who really made his name with Bond wanting to go down in the annals of history as “eight-time James Bond portrayer,” but Craig has so much else going for him, I have difficulty thinking that he’d take this, even with the bags of money they must be offering.

Don’t do it, Daniel!

Daniel Craig Promises ‘Skyfall’ Won’t Suck Like ‘Quantum Of Solace’ Did

Wookie Johnson — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 17:50:44 +0000

I like Daniel Craig. He’s always really open with the press, isn’t above an occasional photobomb, and seems to have the best interest of his fans at heart. So when he goes on the record to say that Skyfall will be better than the last James Bond film, I’m inclined to believe him, rather than dismiss it as hype to sell tickets.

While talking with Time Out, Craig frankly addressed the fact that Quantum of Solace was doo-doo.

“On Quantum, we were fucked. We had the bare bones of a script and then there was the strike and there was nothing we could do. We couldn’t employ a writer to finish it. You swear you’ll never get involved with shit like that, and then it happens!” Craig even reveals that he ended up writing some of the scenes himself, in collaboration with director Marc Forster. “And a writer I am not…”

Take notes, Michael Bay.

“ I really think this one is better even than Casino Royale“, Craig enthuses. “[Director] Sam Mendes has lived with Bond all his life, and he grew up with Bond in the same way I did. We have exactly the same reference points, we both like the same Bond movies, and we both like the same bits in the same Bond movies we like. We sat down and we just rabbited for hours about Live And Let Die or From Russia With Love, and talked about little scenes that we knew from them. That’s how we started talking about it. That’s what we tried to instill in the script. He’s been working his arse off to tie all these things together so they make sense… in a Bond way!”

You can’t get mad at a guy for wanting to go the extra mile to ensure that his movie about a missile-defusing pussy-crusher makes sense. Make us proud, good sir. (Empire)

The 9 Most Iconic Hats In Hollywood’s History

Penn Collins — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 17:06:24 +0000

Hats are the unsung heroes of cinematic costume design. They could be a toque on a chef, a newsboy cap on a newsboy, or even a towel wrapped around a woman fresh out of the shower. They shield our head from sunlight, keep hair out of our customer’s food, and keep our heads warm when it’s kind of cold outside.

Hats have a vivid and rich history in Hollywood. It’s no coincidence that the Golden Age of Hollywood coincided with the Golden Age of American Hats. It’s also no coincidence that Cowboys and Aliens, an incredibly bad film, was released during a period in America when the only people wearing hats were people in nightclubs and Ryan Murphy.

I have just proven the correlation between hat prevalence and the quality of films Hollywood produces. Let us now take a trip down hat-memory lane by looking at 9 iconic hats in film history and the heads that they covered.

Thomas Crown’s Bowler Hat

Ever the symbol of refinement, this particular bowler hat first surfaces in The Thomas Crown Affair as a reference to Magritte’s famed painting “The Great War.” In a sly nod to the intimation that Thomas Crown is nothing more than an anonymous businessman, he completes his final heist at the Met using dozens of similarly dressed men, all wearing bowler hats.

I don’t appreciate that this film implies a correlation between bowler hat-wearing and criminal activity; rather, I prefer to think of the correlation as between bowler hat-wearing and having sex with Rene Russo, which Thomas Crown also does.

Crocodile Dundee’s Alligator Skin Cowboy Hat

“G’day, friend-o! Let’s barbecue some shrimp on the grill!”

In Crocodile Dundee, a rugged outback hero collides with urban living as a reporter takes him back to the States in order to complete a story she is writing on him. His hat is black with a wide brim. It features an alligator band and has alligator teeth arrange around it in symmetrical fashion. This hat is both rugged and pleasing to the eye. So much so, actually, that I tried to recreate it using a baseball cap to which I scotch-taped all my saved baby teeth and wore for a year. The fact that I was 28 and gainfully employed when I did this led to several human resources complaints, and ultimately my own office.

Overall, a wonderful hat.

Oddjob’s Bowler Hat

Oddjob’s hat, like Thomas Crown’s is a black bowler hat. Also like Thomas Crown, Oddjob’s wearing of this hat conjures up images of criminal activity, as its razor sharp metal edges were used to kill people in the James Bond film Goldfinger. People should not be killed, nor bowler hats thrown. When they’re not resting on a man’s head, they should be placed in a hat box to maintain both their shape and cleanliness. Oddjob’s reckless hat behavior should not be celebrated, but it should be remembered so as not to be repeated by future generations.

Javier Bardem Confirms He Will Piss Off Daniel Craig In Next ‘Bond’ Film

Wookie Johnson — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 16:05:10 +0000

The long will he, won’t he tease is over. Javier Bardem has finally confirmed that he will in fact play the villain in the 23rd James Bond film. Rumored to be called Skyfall, Bardem did not share much info but let’s just assume it’s about satellites or something. He tells Nightline’s Christine Amanpour:

Space Junk: 5 Movie Satellites That Could Kill Us All

Wookie Johnson — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 19:37:13 +0000

In case you hadn’t heard, NASA has plans to kill some of us this weekend. A 12,500-pound satellite has fallen out of orbit and is expected to splinter into 26 pieces during re-entry. Those pieces could spread out in a 500-mile path that will crash somewhere in North America. Which sucks because I live there.

NASA seems confident that the risks to human life are extremely small. However, if movies have taught me anything it is that satellites can be extremely dangerous. They can be used to cripple world economies, spy on Will Smith, and even raise the dead. So, please enjoy your last moments on Earth with these 5 movie satellites that could kill us all.

Scoop VII – The Andromeda Strain

The Andromeda Strain points out the inherent dangerous side effect of sending something into space. Namely, Space Rabies. When the Scoop VII satellite crashes into a New Mexico town, it brings a deadly virus with it referred to as The Andromeda Strain. Great. I’m worried enough about Earth viruses. Am I going to have to worry about alien ones now too?

Unnamed Satellite – Night Of The Living Dead

Okay. If the idea of a space virus sounds far-fetched, how about the much more realistic possibility of harmful radiation from space? Could happen, right? In the case of Night of the Living Dead, harmful radiation from a downed satellite causes the Earth’s dead to rise from their graves and begin eating the living. Which I really hope can’t happen and doesn’t happen this weekend. I have plans to go see the Descendents.

SkyLab – Wet Hot American Summer

A piece of NASA’s SkyLab (the original space junk) threatens the campers at Camp Firewood. Luckily, an astrophysics associate professor from the local college is on the scene and shows the campers how to build a device that will protect them from certain doom. However, it’s unclear whether or not SkyLab returned with any space viruses that raise the dead. But I kinda hope it did. That would be an awesome sequel.

Henry Lennix Is A ‘Man Of Steel’, Naomie Harris Is A ‘Mrs. Moneypenny’

Penn Collins — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 22:40:34 +0000

Man of Steel continues its casting parade with Henry Lennix, a veteran actor best known from his work in Ray and The Matrix franchise, as General Swanwick. While it’s pretty clear that “General Swanwick” will be an army dude, beyond that, the role of his character isn’t clear. He could play the trigger-happy military dude that wants to shoot Superman out of the sky. There’s always that role.

For the 23rd installment of the James Bond franchise, it would seem we’re becoming reacquainted with an old friend by the name of Moneypenny, Bond’s administrative boss that has been conspicuously absent during the previous Daniel Craig entries. The role will be played this time around by Naomie Harris, who made a name for herself in 28 Days Later. She should really start practicing her eye-rolling now when Bond tells her that he’s “polled the electorate” or makes some pun on the word “come.”

Ms. Moneypenny: the original hater.

New ‘Bond’ Film Will Shove Product Placement Down Your Throat

Penn Collins — Tue, 03 May 2011 19:37:32 +0000

Well know that James Bond has had an affinity for Aston Martins, Jaguars, BMWs, Smirnoff, and Omega watches, but get ready to see him broaden his horizons with Sour Patch Kids, Charmin bathroom tissue, and possibly unwinding with a casual game of Words With Friends after blowing up a satellite station.

So those later products were an exaggeration. Probably. The next installment of the blockbuster series will contain $45mm of product placement, so don’t be surprised if we see 007 changing some GE lightbulbs in his downtime or maybe going for a walk along the Thames in some Skechers Shape-Ups?

It’s no surprise that MGM is the first to raise the stakes this high for product placement. Their financial struggles have been no secret lately, so the fact that they were able to raise fully 1/3 of their total project budget through product placement should come as a real boon not only to the film, but the studio at large.

James Bond has always been a little heavy-handed with their sparse product placement, so why not go whole-hog, Spurlock-style, and just get dirty?

Did you know James Bond has a favorite brand of store-bought hummus? For him, it’s Sabra or bust. (Vulture)

MGM Makes Sony Its ‘Bond’ Bitch Once Again

Geoffrey Golden — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 00:47:13 +0000

MGM has gotten into bed with Sony, to the surprise of no one. After all, Sony is a very attractive distribution partner and clearly wants it. The James Bond distribution rights, that is.

Sony will co-finance and distribute the next two James Bond movies, including the upcoming Bond 23 which might star Javier Bardem or Anthony Hopkins as the villain. In return, Sony executives had to dance around in gold bikinis for MGM execs, while they sat in their fancy suits and casually smoked cigarettes. Actually, MGM gets to co-finance several Sony’s films, including potentially big moneymakers like the Total Recall remake and David Fincher‘s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, cause MGM needs some sweet, sweet cash.

MGM was flirting with Fox, Warner Bros and Paramount, but the studio ultimately returned to its partner for past successes like Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace. How very un-Bond-like of MGM, sticking with the same girl in the end. Well, I guess you never should say never again. (Deadline)

If Sony Helps Sad Old MGM, We Get ‘Red Dawn’, ‘Cabin In The Woods’

Geoffrey Golden — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 05:14:09 +0000

MGM has been having troubles lately, what with their filing for bankruptcy and their current voyage down the yellow brick road of financial stability. Though Bond 23 and The Hobbit are greenlit, there’s been some question about Joss Whedon‘s Cabin In The Woods and the remake of Red Dawn. These movies have been completed for months, but they are not in front of eyeballs at the multiplex, cause of MGM‘s money troubles. Luckily, there’s a deal in the works that will save these films from a fate worse than a Commie invasion: sitting on the shelf for even longer than they already have.

Sony and MGM are hammering out an agreement that might give Sony rights to distribute old and new projects, like Red Dawn and the upcoming Bond films. They would also co-finance upcoming Bond movies, because putting your money behind Bond is a safe bet. Especially when he goes all-in. Daniel Craig, you have one hell of a poker face.

We’ll see if the deal pans out, and if we get to see these movies. Or they might end up dead… in a Cabin In The Woods. Because they’re a bunch of stupid college kids. (Cinema Blend)

New Bond Villain Might Be Ralph Fiennes, Potter/Bond Crossover Anyone?

Geoffrey Golden — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 07:47:10 +0000

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named might very well get named as part of the new James Bond cast. Ralph “Voldemort” Fiennes could play a “darkly complex” character in the film, which either means he’s playing a villain, or he’s playing a guy you think is good, but in a surprise twist, ends up being a villain. I’d wait and see if the talks pan out, but I don’t know if I have that kind of English Patience. Cue rimshot.

This will be the 23rd James Bond film. It doesn’t have a title, but I’m thinking it’ll be something like: Live Until You Die, Never Die Twice or James Bond Goes To Camp. The source for these rumors about talks between Fiennes, Bond 23‘s producers and director Sam Mendes (American Beauty) are a British tabloid, which is about as reliable as my picks for the new movie’s title. So if you’re picking out which Harry Potter scarf to wear to the Bond 23 midnight premiere – slow your roll, muggle. (Cinema Blend)

R.I.P. John Barry

Wookie Johnson — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 18:03:05 +0000

The Bond universe might be gaining one Javier Bardem, but it has lost one of their most influential collaborators. Film composer John Barry passed away yesterday at the age of 77.

The multiple Oscar-winner left an indelible mark on the franchise having supplied the theme songs to eleven of the twenty-two films in the series, beginning with Dr. No and ending with The Living Daylights. His influence on music remains strong even in the modern day. Kanye West sampled his “Diamonds Are Forever” and his style was cribbed for films like Inception and The Incredibles. Probably those Cats & Dogs movies too. Though I don’t know for certain. I haven’t watched TBS for awhile. (BBC)

Javier Bardem Almost As Busy As James Franco

Wookie Johnson — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 13:14:55 +0000

Prepare yourselves to see Javier Bardem with a really cool scar or a cat on his lap or something. The Biutiful Oscar nominee has been offered a role opposite Daniel Craig in Bond 23.

Bardem’s a busy guy. Last week he got nommed, ruined Penelope Cruz‘s vagina, and was offered the lead in The Dark Tower. There aren’t any details available about which character Bardem would play, but it’s likely he’ll play the lead villain considering James Bond isn’t really the type for bromance. The film is scheduled to shoot this fall with a planned release in November 2012.

Whether this gig will effect his involvement in The Dark Tower (and vice versa) remain unknown. I recommend just mashing up the two projects and make Roland Deschain into Bond’s nemesis this time around. It would save film and time and it’s not like MGM is in a position to say no. (Deadline)

Ready or Not, Here Comes ‘Bond 23′

Penn Collins — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 20:53:47 +0000

The on-again, off-again 23rd installment of the James Bond series is officially on with Sam Mendes directing. Variety reports that MGM has announced a release date of November 9, 2012 for Daniel Craig to return as the darker, more violent Bond than we have seen from the likes of that wimp George Lazenby. Earlier this week, it was looking uncertain that MGM would make their target date, but today’s release has the studio looking towards their planned date. Production is expected to start late this year, though no filming locations have been disclosed.

This turnaround is something of a surprise, considering that producer Michael G. Wilson had expressed a number of concerns regarding “a lot of ideas floating around” with the script from Neal Purvis, Robert Wade and John Logan. Apparently, MGM found a way to put those concerns to rest, probably because they really, really need the revenue that their Bond sugar daddy can provide.

With that in mind, it’s probably no surprise that further details aren’t available, as this has every symptom of a “shoot first, ask questions later,” decision to get production rolling, then figure out those pesky script and logistical issues on the fly. Fortunately, they have two years to figure those issues out, but still, a suspect start for the next episode in the widely-loved series.

10 Coolest Cars From Movies

Jame Gumb — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 18:16:05 +0000

When it comes to movies, hot girls and cars go together like Charlie Sheen and bad decisions. But the sad fact of the matter is, I’ve always been more impressed with the cars. Unlike with hot chicks, I might have a chance to touch the cars without ending up as the basis for and episode of “SVU.”

The Green Hornet opens this Friday, and features Black Beauty: a tricked-out 1965 Chrysler Crown Imperial. The car looks pretty bad ass, but how does it stack up to other classic cinematic rides? Take a look at the list below and judge for yourself.

See more Sony “Action Unleashed” DVDs!

Aston Martin DB5 – Goldfinger

Bond’s Aston Martin DB5 first appeared in Goldfinger, and was featured in several subsequent films. The car is awesome on its own, but Bond’s is loaded with special features; specifically, an ejector seat. How sweet is that for dates?

Fozzie’s Studebaker – The Muppet Movie

Fozzie inherits his car from an uncle who is hibernating. At first, it’s not much to look at. But Doctor Teeth and his band give the vehicle a psychedelic makeover.

The Interceptor – Mad Max 2 / Road Warrior

If you’re known as “The Road Warrior,” you better have an awesome car to back you up. Mad Max has just that. Unfortunately, The Interceptor doesn’t make it through the film.

The Mutt Cuts ‘Shaggin Wagon’ – Dumb & Dumber

Originally designed as a vehicle for Harry’s dog cutting gig, the boys end up using it on their journey to Denver. Clearly, a car like this gets all the bitches.

Herbie – The Love Bug

I don’t really like Herbie, but the damn thing has a mind of its own, so I have to respect it. Besides, when it comes to cars that are self-aware, it’s a billion times better than Christine.

The Deathmobile – Animal House

If your goal is to destroy a small town parade, there’s no better choice than the Deathmobile. Just look at that terrifying facade and tell me you aren’t frightened.

The Bluesmobile – The Blues Brothes

The Bluesmobile is part of one of the greatest car chases in film history, and takes more abuse than any car should have to take. It even manages to hang on until the very end, before completely falling apart. RIP.

Ectomobile – The Ghostbusters

If you need to catch and transport ghosts, your Ford Focus isn’t going to cut it. You need the Ectomobile.

Batmobile – Batman Returns

I chose the Batmobile from the Tim Burton films. That’s not a slight against the Nolan films, since the Tumbler is awesome. But Burton’s version actually looks like the classic Batmobile, so it edged out the competition.

The Delorean – Back to the Future

Say what you want about the Delorean’s style. Some people love it, and some people hate it. But once you factor a flux capacitor into the mix, it becomes the coolest car around, hands down.

Broke-Ass MGM Would Really Like ‘Bond 23′ In Theaters November 23, 2012

Col. Longshanks — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 12:12:05 +0000

_{James Bond has met his match — Super Glue.}

MGM recently filed for bankruptcy, and you know what that means. It’s time for them to make movies! Don’t ask me how the government works because I cannot enlighten you. The Hobbit is finally scheduled to begin filming in February, and now it looks like MGM’s other huge franchise, the James Bond series, is picking up steam maybe but who the hell knows for sure.

The studio aims to have the next Bond film in theaters November 2012, though a few minor problems lay in the project’s path. MGM needs a partner with the ever important financial means to fund the movie. Also, it’s not known if Daniel Craig has time in his schedule, or if currently-signed-on-director Sam Mendes wants to deal with this back and forth B.S. anymore. The only thing we know for certain is, MGM needs to get a second job cleaning office buildings at night to put food on the lion’s table. (ThePlaylist)

MGM Pulls a GM, Files For Bankruptcy

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

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Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, the iconic movie studio responsible for the James Bond franchise as well as Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj, has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. The company, which was pressured into filing by investor Carl Icahn, is seeking a 30-day reorganization period in which to pay its creditors.

As part of the reorganization, Spyglass Entertainment will take over management of MGM. Also, company mascot, Leo the Lion, will be euthanized as a cost-cutting measure, and his meat will be sold to the Chinese, who consider lion flesh to be an aphrodisiac. (Vulture)

5 Secrets of George Lazenby

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

You might think since George Lazenby only got to play James Bond once, it must’ve meant he sucked. Actually, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is considered one of the best Bond movies ever. If you’re a Bond fan and you haven’t seen it, watch it now. It really holds up especially well after the gritty Daniel Craig ones. Once you see it, you’ll really want to know more about the mysterious one time only Bond.

41 years later, Lazenby has a sense of humor about it. He goes out to autograph signings and he attended an American Cinematheque showing of On Her Majesty’s at the Aero Theater in Santa Monica. After conflicting stories on DVD extras and books and articles, Lazenby told the audience what really happened on his Bond movie.

1) The truth about Lazenby leaving Bond:

Some stories say that Lazenby quit because they were trying to make him imitate Sean Connery. Other stories say the producers wanted to get rid of him. Now Lazenby tells the truth.

“The truth of the matter is I was a dumb shit,” he said. “On the other hand, I wasn’t because I could’ve had four, five or 15 houses in Beverly Hills with different wives living in them and a drug addict, or me now who missed out on everything and had to survive. What happened was this: After I did the James Bond film I had not signed a contract. I’d finished the film and because of [acting coach] Ronan [O’Rahilly] and me never being an actor and having a real estate lawyer for my lawyer, the contract went backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards. I’d done the film, I’d never signed it. They were in the shit. Harry [Saltzman] and Cubby [Broccoli] were in the poo because United Artists was saying, ‘You finished the film and the guy hasn’t signed the contract, how could that be?’ Not only that, I was a guy who had never been an actor so they couldn’t hold me to anything because I never knew what was in the contract. I’d never signed one of these contracts before. Legally, they had a whole privy counsel thing and they came out that I would win the case. So United Artists called me over to their office. They said, ‘See all those books up there? We own them. You can pick any one you like and we’ll make it into a movie for you in between every Bond film you’ll do if you sign the contract.’ Ronan said, ‘We’ll think about it.’ I go out on the office and Harry said, ‘I’ll give you a million dollars anywhere you want in the world.’ Ronan says, ‘I’ll tell you, Bond is over, finished. It’s Sean Connery’s gig. You cannot match that guy. Bond’s over, I can get you 500 grand a movie in Italy, one after the other, you’ll make two-three million a year if you want to make money. Or you just go along and we select shows for you and do them.’ And I listened.”

2) Lazenby on the best Bond:

“Realistically speaking, it’s gotta be Sean Connery, right?” Lazenby admitted. "If I was allowed to be wh I am now at that age, I think I could’ve given him a run for his money. I didn’t know. Simple as that.”

It turns out he did get Connery’s stamp of approval back in the day though. “I heard from a pretty good source that he said I could’ve made a good James Bond. I met him a couple times and he and I were very respectful to one another, although the first time I met him, I had a paper clipping where it said that I was a better James Bond than him in my pocket. I was in a restaurant here in L.A. and I went over and sat next to him and showed it to him. Then when he was leaving the restaurant he came over and said hi so he took it with a grain of salt.”

3) How Lazenby faked his way to 007 in the first place:

If an obscure Australian model seems like a weird choice to play James Bond, that’s because it was. Lazenby kind of conned his way into the audition. He snuck into the casting office when the receptionist wasn’t looking and it spiraled from there.

“I went and got an English suit and got my hair cut where Connery got his haircut, bought a Rolex watch and his around the corner, waited until this woman stepped away from the desk for something. Up the stairs I went and walked right into Dyson Lovell’s office. He’s on the phone and he said, ‘Who are you?’ I said, ‘I heard you’re looking for James Bond.’ He was talking to Harry Salzman on the phone. He sad, ‘Harry I’ve got someone here’ and he said, ‘Bring him over.’ If Dyson wasn’t on the phone and had talked to me for five minutes, he would have realized I was a fake. We’re walking across the road to Harry Salzman’s office and he said, ‘Tell me your life story.’ I’d never heard a question like that in my life so I made it up and said, ‘Well, I’ve been making movies in Russia, in Germany, in Hong Kong.’ Just spinning off these lines. I couldn’t remember what I said because when I got into Harry’s office, he says, ‘Tell me your life story’ and I was like, ‘F*ck, I can’t remember what I said.’ I just told him, ‘Let him tell you.’ He said, ‘Oh, he’s played roles in Russia and Germany…’ Anyway, he said, ‘I want him to meet the director. Bring him back here. Four o’clock tomorrow.’ By this time I was shitting myself. I’m way over my head. That night I went looking for an acting coach and I found one. His name was Ronan O’Reilly. He made Radio Caroline, the pirate radio ship. I go in the next day and I don’t know what made me do it but Peter said, ‘Tell me about yourself.’ I said, ‘Well, the first thing is I’ve never been an actor before.’ He’s just come from Switzerland, he’s pissed off. All of a sudden he just falls on the floor laughing. He says, ‘They brought me back from Switzerland to see you!’ I said, ‘Well, I’m not an actor. I’ve never spoken in front of a camera in my life.’ He said, ‘Stick to your story and I’ll make you the next James Bond. You fooled two of the most ruthless guys I’ve ever met in my life. You’re an actor.’”

4) Why James Bond moved back home with his mom:

Needless to say, those lucrative film roles his agents promised him didn’t work out. “Money was short after Bond. It got so short that I went back to live with my mother in Queanbeyan. No one believed that I was just James Bond and I had no money. I’d sailed for 15 months trying to get away from publicity and what not which I didn’t know how to handle. I went and bought a catamaran in Malta, never sailed before in my life, had a three hour lesson and took off for Sicily with a girl.”

5) George Lazenby today:

“It’s beautiful. I’ve got these three kids. I’m in love with them. If I hated them, it’d be all right but the little buggers come up and go, ‘Dad,’ and I just melt. I’m sure if I was 40-50 I wouldn’t have, but now at 71 I go, ‘You little bastard, what do you want? You’ve got me by the nuts.’ I’ve got an ex who wants to kill me. She’s getting even for all those other ones. It all comes back to you, guys, watch out. Here I am doing some stuff that women do every day and don’t complain. I’m doing it now and I’m not complaining because I love them. That’s my life are these three kids.”

Christopher Nolan Wants To Direct A ‘Bond’ Film. Yes Please.

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Christopher Nolan has the film world in the palm of his hand. After taking Batman in a bold direction, Nolan can pretty much have any project he wants, and make any actor do whatever he wants. If he were to reboot Air Bud, it wouldn’t be long before franchise teams actually began drafting housepets. If he were to take on Big Momma’s House, Martin Lawrence would actually gain the weight and spring for the operation. Sh*t, I bet he could even turn in a decent xXx film. He’s that good. So the news that he wants to direct a Bond film has me really stoked. He tells the BBC:

“I’ve loved the Bond films since I was a kid. For me, they’re always about the expansiveness of cinema. The first Bond films set up infinite possibilities about the world they create. I’d love to do a Bond film.”

This is merely conjecture at this point. With Bond 23 in financial turnaround and another Batman film next on Nolan’s docket, it could be a long time before we see this become a reality. But don’t give up hope. If the stars align and if there’s a role for Michael Caine, this could become a pretty cool reality. (via Deadline)

‘Bond 23′ Is Canceled

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

^{Our sentiments exactly.}

Looks like MGM‘s brokeassedness will cost them a lot more than just The Hobbit. The studio’s historic James Bond series is also reportedly out this bitch. Production has halted on the upcoming Sam Mendes-directed Bond 23, and that it may not begin again. In fact, it could be years before we see Bond on the big screen again. Which means we’ll have to spend our time mercilessly blowing up our friends with proximity mines. Which gets old after the first few hundred times. From the UK Daily Mirror:

Production crew were told in April the £132million blockbuster, starring Daniel Craig, had been postponed amid “financial problems” at debt-ridden movie studio Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, which co-funded the film.

But now it has confirmed the movie has been axed – and it could be years before the secret agent with a licence to kill is back on the big screen.

Bond has been MGM’s golden ticket for years on end. If they can’t scrape together assets to make another blockbuster, it’s unlikely they’ll weather this storm. Better keep those Daniel Craig popsicles in the freezer for now, lame housewives and weird dudes. They’re scary collector’s items now.

Daniel Craig Wants a ‘Dragon Tattoo’

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Daniel Craig hasn’t made a movie since 2008, but it looks as if his schedule is about to fill up fast. The actor best known as James Bond is close to nabbing the part of Mikael Blomkvist in David Fincher’s adaptation of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. The film is the first in a three-part series based on the crime novels of Stieg Larsson, and Craig is expected to sign on for all three installments.

Rumor has it that Brad Pitt was close to landing the role, but was "edged out" when a bikini-clad Craig showed up at David Fincher’s house and offered to wash the director’s car. Fincher filmed the wash, and was so impressed by Craig’s physique the he offered him the job on the spot. True story. (Collider)

James Bond Sucks at Mario Kart

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

You’d think an expertly-trained international spy would stay focused on the actual mission.