Book Of Mormon star Josh Gad and Ryan Dixon are now set to script the treatment for Triplets, the Twins sequel that will be produced by Montecito for Universal Pictures. Dixon will write the script. The film has Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito attached to reprise their roles as the mismatched siblings, and Eddie Murphy is attached to play the third brother. Ivan Reitman will direct.

The entire scheme would be laughable if not for the fact that it ruins the plot of the original film. As you’ll recall, Schwarzenegger played a genetically pure superman who was created in a lab, while Danny DeVito played his subhuman byproduct twin brother. The science behind the film only works if one twin inherits all of the sought after genes, while the other inherits all of the undesirables. Adding a third brother to the mix, regardless of his race, totally invalidates the entire premise. Adding a black man only adds to the confusion. At what price diversity, America?

Knowing how the Jackson clan operates, it’s likely that these talks could take a while. But that hasn’t stopped Irish bookmaking firm Paddypower.com from setting odds on who they think will play the once-black entertainer. Of course, the menu of choices that the site presents is batshit insane, with Johnny Depp and Zac Efron the odds-on favorites. Would anyone really bet a dollar to make four that Johnny Depp will play Michael Jackson in the Michael Jackson biopic?

Of course, the site has no idea who will play Jackson, nor does anyone else, so these odds exist solely to screw people out of their money. That said, it’s a pretty slow news day, and I feel like making fun of something, so let’s examine some of the contenders.

4/1 Johnny Depp

I guess they both have long hair. Johnny Depp has a skinny face, and a penchant for burying himself in makeup, but I just see him as too terribly “different” than MJ for this to make any sense. Of course, if there’s a big project on the horizon, it’s always a safe bet to include Depp’s name in the discussions, but not at these odds.

If Tim Burton’s name gets mentioned, these odds flip to ¼.

9/2 Zac Efron

WHY? Why would Zac Efron even be on this list? Because he’s a living, breathing actor? That’s pretty much the only reason he would be included. Charlie St. Cloud danced in that High School Musical series, but that’s a far cry from playing the King of Pop in a biopic. Also, this seems a good time to bring up that I would love to see any of these adult actors play young, black Michael. Especially if the actor is white. I would love to see Zac in blackface and an afro wig singing “Rockin’ Robin.” I can actually hear NAACP execs snapping pencils as I think about it.

6/1 Usher

He dances as well as Michael, but he looks absolutely nothing like him. And considering his best acting credit so far is as the DJ in She’s All That, we should probably keep moving.

6/1 Jaden Smith

Or Willow. I don’t really know what the difference is anyway. I mean, the best way to demonstrate the path that a damage adult (Jackson) went down is to portray them with a damaged child actor on the same path (either Smith tot). Will Smith could play Joe Jackson, which sort of makes sense. This choice is my odds-on favorite, but far from my personal fave.

8/1 Will Smith

No. Just imagine this for a second. Then stop imagining it because you will laugh too hard and hurt yourself. Well, maybe. It is the new millennium. Excuse me. Willenium.

8/1 Jamie Foxx

He was a good fit for Ray. He’s a bad fit for Michael. Can someone please tell this Irish bookie that not all black people look the same?

10/1 Andre 3000

Personal fave. Right here. I think I could watch Andre 3000 mow the lawn for 120 minutes and be entertained. He can sing, he can dance, he can sort of act, and he looks like a Jackson more than anyone else on this list. Plus, he would probably toss a song or two on the soundtrack, possibly an MJ cover, and that would be amazeballs.

12/1 Justin Timberlake

Just Timberlake can sing and dance but is white. Also, he’s big fan of Michael’s, so I doubt that he’ll be eager to take on this role.

12/1 Randy Jackson

Nope. Randy Jackson weighs like 460 pounds, Dawg.

“A Twins sequel Knowing Arnold, Danny De Vito and Ivan Reitman are all still in touch and want to work together again, Universal came to them about it. It’s a germ of an idea that could spread fast.”

Well, there you have it. Perhaps we’ll be getting a Schwarzenegger throwback twofer, if this and the rumored Terminator movie both make it into production. Better idea: Combine the two for a Twins/Terminator crossover, featuring a robotic Danny DeVito mowing down civilians until he’s stopped by Schwarzenegger. I’d watch that. (What’s Playing)

He’s got his eye on the memoir Big In China:My Unlikely Adventure Raising a Family, Playing the Blues and Reinventing Myself in Beijing. The story by journalist Alan Paul tells of how he moved to China to become a stay-at-home dad while his wife took a position as The Wall Street Journal China bureau chief. One day while tooling around China, he started a blues quartet called Woodi Paul and became a national sensation. Well, he’s not the only lucky one. Did I mention how I found ten dollars a few months ago? Totally did. Right there on the floor of the free clinic. No further questions.

Reitman won’t sign on to direct until a script is in place and if that process is anything like the Ghostbusters 3 scripting process, we’ll all be under Chinese rule by the time he joins. Get ready to have to listen to Woodie Paul music. (THR)

Plot details ar unknown at this point but I’m feeling a lot better about this than the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade movie that was reported yesterday. Speculation is that the film is centered around a carnival. And maybe there’s monsters at this carnival. And maybe there’s deep-fried Oreo’s. Those flavorful little bastards taste so good. (THR)

I once heard that Murray didn’t like the current script for Ghostbusters 3, but that internet rumor has now been busted by Venkman himself. According to his recent interview with Howard Stern, Murray hasn’t even read the thing. Awesome. Here’s what Carl Spackler himself said:

STERN: Is it true that there is a Ghostbusters 3 and you’re the problem. You will not sign off on this? Do you know about this?

MURRAY: Yeah, I guess I’m the problem. Before I was an asset and now I’m the problem. There’s a script somewhere over there. Over there there’s a script and I haven’t read it yet.

STERN: So you’re never going to read it.

QUIVERS: So you have no interest.

MURRAY: Well, I’ll get to it. I gotta get to it. I feel badly. I got a message. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but it’s not the foremost thing in my mind right now, so I don’t think about it. You know what, the studio gets excited about it every 10 years or so or it seems like, and they read it. Because what they’d really like to do is recreate the franchise, you know? I remember once upon a time it was going to be, “And the new Ghostbusters will be Chris Rock, Chris Farley and Chris Crane or Kris Kringle.” Or someone. They had it together.

STERN: Is that a threat to you? In other words, do they try to threaten you by saying, “We’re going to put together a new Ghostbusters, and therefore you guys will have to go do it?”

MURRAY: It’s not a threat. It’s sort of businesslike. They’d like to keep it going. I mean, it’s still an amazing … there’s still kids today that watch this movie. They still sell a lot of toys and everything.

Maybe if Ivan Reitman stepped down and they let Wes Anderson direct it instead, we’d finally see Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis slap on some proton packs again. The angles would be arty, and awkward moments would be plentiful, but at least ghost busting could begin anew.

Of course, reading over his interview, I can’t help but agree with him. Do we really need another Ghostbusters movie? Ghostbusters 2 was not good, even though 7-year-old me would vehemently disagree, so why are we so excited about a third? If I’m going to give a movie studio my money, I’d like to have my childhood come out not shit on. Especially if it’s shit on by Ashton Kutcher.

So I’ll go with Murray on this one. He’ll read it when he wants to read it, and sign on if he thinks it’s good. You don’t get to be as cool as Murray without pissing off a few salivating businessmen. (AICN)

The horrifying rumor came to light during promotion of Kutcher’s latest romantic comedy No Strings Attached, which was also directed by Reitman (sigh). During a press junket interview, Reitman was asked about whether there would be a sequel to the universally beloved Ghostbusters 2, and whether it would be possible that Kutcher (who was sitting next to Reitman at the time) could have a role in the movie. After implying that Bill Murray is dragging his feet on the project, Reitman replied by saying his casting was “absolutely possible.” OK, so maybe he was just being polite. Reitman would have done the same for Rick Moranis. (via The AV Club)

Now that his political career has ended, Arnold Schwarzenegger is looking to return to the silver screen. In a recent interview with the Austrian website Krone, the former governor said he wants to model his comeback career after Clint Eastwood, focusing on roles that stress acting over action. Schwarzenegger also said he’s been looking over several scripts, including one involving the true story of a Nazi soldier who saved a group of children he had been ordered to kill.

While I don’t blame a 63-year-old man for wanting to move away from action films, choosing a dramatic role right out of the gate might be a little risky. If anything, Schwarzenegger needs to ease back into the business by covering some familiar territory. Mind you, that doesn’t mean he has to go out and film another Terminator film, or re-team with Sinbad for Jingle All the Way 2, but it wouldn’t hurt him to get a hit or two under his belt before he goes after an Oscar.

Conan the Barbarian (Remake)
The remake of Conan the Barbarian is well underway, and Schwarzenegger was reportedly approached for a cameo in the film. Producer Avi Lerner supposedly offered the then governor a million dollars for one day’s work, and went as far as agreeing to shoot in Sacramento. While Schwarzenegger did not accept the role, he also didn’t turn it down, leaving Lerner to believe the door is still open.

I know that Arnold doesn’t need the money, but $1 million for a day’s work is hard to pass up. And what better way to launch a comeback than by appearing in a remake of his first major film? Even if it bombs, no one will hold Schwarzenegger responsible. It’s win-win.

Avatar 2 and 3
If there’s a director who is responsible for making Schwarzenegger a household name, it’s James Cameron. By casting the Austrian bodybuilder in his Terminator films, Cameron catapulted Arnold to the top of the Hollywood food chain, making him, arguably, the biggest movie star in history. As it just so happens, Cameron is still making movies, and he’s currently working on small, indie production known as the Avatar franchise. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?

At any rate, I know Arnie wants to move away from his action-oriented past, but a role in one of the Avatar sequels would be too good to pass up. And unlike many action films, Avatar actually has a story. It’s a simplistic, ham-fisted cliche of a story, but a story none the less. And while a man in his 60’s might look out of place kicking ass, these films are built around special effects. Seeing Arnold piloting a robot exoskeleton wouldn’t be all that far fetched in the context of the film. Or maybe he’d end up getting a bright-blu Avatar of his own. Actually, I hope it’s not the latter. I’d like nothing more than to see Schwarzenegger take out a whole boat load of those primitive blue bastards. We’re supposed to cheer for the humans, right?

Ghostbusters 3
If James Cameron is responsible for making Arnold Schwarzenegger’s career, Ivan Reitman is responsible for reinventing it. With films like Twins and Kindergarten Cop, the director gave Schwarzenegger the chance to break away from action roles and showcase his comedic potential. So if the actor is serious about staying away from action, why not re-team with Reitman for Ghostbusters 3?

Yeah, I know. This film is far from a sure thing, and unless Bill Murray decides to stop being Bill Murray, it’s never going to happen. But if it does go forward, it might prove the perfect comeback vehicle for Schwarzenegger. There’s going to be an unbelievable amount of hype surrounding the film, which means expectations will be massive, but on the plus side, Schwarzenegger as a villain couldn’t be any worse than Vigo the Carpathian.

The Dark Knight Rises
Everyone associated with the film Batman and Robin has a lot to answer for. Arnold Schwarzenegger is no exception. While he was far from the worst aspect of the movie, his portrayal of Mr. Freeze certainly won’t be remembered as a career highpoint. That being said, perhaps his performance would have been adequate if a different director had been at the helm.

I know this is a long shot, but what better way to make up for ruining the last batch of Batman films than by giving a stellar performance in the third installment of the Nolan franchise? Professor Hugo Strange is rumored to be the villain, and I don’t know if Schwarzenegger has the chops to pull off that role, but I can’t help but think there’s a part he could play, especially if he’s serious about moving away from one-dimensional characters. It’s doubtful Nolan would intentionally establish a link between his Batman films and those of Joel Schumacher, but if Schwarzenegger ever has the chance, I’d like to see him take it.

More serious than Jingle All the Way 2: Still Jinglin’? More serious than reprising his role as Mr. Freeze in the next Christopher Nolan Batman? Get your priorities straight, Arnold.

The fact remains that Schwarzenegger has been on a de facto hiatus since taking office, save for a quick cameo in The Expendables. So will we miss him? Yeah, maybe for a bit. Until he can figure out a way to get North Korea off our back. Actually, that would make a damn good movie…

Every other element of the film looks to be falling into place, as the script by “Office” writers Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky (with revisions by Ivan Reitman and Dan Aykroyd) has been completed, and the other primary cast members, including Harold Ramis and Aykroyd himself, have all signed on. Sony is not even balking at the proposed 150 million dollar budget, so Murray appears to be the linchpin in this. Perhaps if Wes Anderson was handling directing duties, Murray’d be a little more comfortable. Maybe Ivan Reitman can promise him at least 4 Kinks songs on the soundtrack to sweeten the deal. (The Playlist)

“We have a really good script, but Bill Murray has to read it. He hasn’t read it. There has been all kinds of chatter online about him reading it and not liking it. He has not read a thing. He’s never read anything. And I just sent it to him. So we’ll see. God knows how long that will take. But we’ll see.”

I, for one, hope that Murray decides to quit dicking around in Karaoke bars and read the damn thing. It’s not that I’m dying to see another sequel (part two still leaves a bad taste in my mouth). But I am sick to death of writing about it. Shit or get off the pot, Venkman. (Coming Soon via Empire)

Director: Ivan Reitman

Cast: Natalie Portman, Ashton Kutcher

Synopsis: A guy and girl try to keep their relationship strictly physical, but it’s not long before they learn that they want something more.

Release Date: January 21, 2011

Finally, something tangible to report about Ghostbusters that doesn’t involve Bill Murray’s menstrual cycle.

Rather than waiting around for Ghostbusters 3 like the rest of us saps, the fine folks at Improv Everywhere decided to take matters into their own hands by producing a version of Ghostbusters Live.

The funnymen who had originally made a splash with their Best Buy sales prank which featured over eighty participants, pulled off quite the stunt with only seven able bodied comedians recently at the main branch of the New York Public Library and every spook filled second has been caught on camera for your enjoyment!

I never thought that performance art could be so relevant. It’s really inspired me to get my own flash mob version of Downfall off the ground. And if those people at the ADL don’t like it they can go to hell. They never understood my art. (DreadCentral)

See Ghostbusters Live after the jump.

No one is really sure what the deal is with Ghostbusters 3. If you listen to Ivan Reitman, Dan Aykroyd, or Harold Ramis, it’s moving ahead. If you listen to Bill Murray, it’s his nightmare and he wants nothing to do with it. The only thing we know for certain is Reitman is attached to direct. But now comes word that Columbia Pictures wants a younger director on the project (ie: somebody who didn’t direct My Super Ex-Girlfriend). From Vulture:

"Reitman’s old contract still gives him exceptional creative control over the series, including director approval. Therefore, while it’s true that Reitman can’t force Columbia to make Ghostbusters 3 with him, he can make it nearly impossible for the studio to make the film without him."

"In fact, a source tells" [Vulture] "that Reitman and all three original principals (Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, and Harold Ramis … sorry, Ernie Hudson!) have a deal that says that if any of the four of them don’t like any element of a new Ghostbusters, they can singlehandedly veto and kill the project; it has to be unanimously approved before going forward."

Personally, I think it’s unlikely we’ll ever see another Ghostbusters movie and I’m okay with that. The original two were a great film and an okay sequel that shouldn’t exist outside of the 1980′s, and the thought of a new generation of Ghostbusters sounds completely lame. The last thing we need to see is the cast of She’s Out of My League strapping on proton packs.