Field Of Dreams

Perhaps the most famous movie set in Iowa, Field of Dreams follows Ray Kinsella, a handsome farmer who goes around picking up men and dressing them in uniforms. He then starts to imagine men walking among cornstalks (no phallic imagery there), until he is literally surrounded by athletic dudes. For some reason, this doesn’t really bother his wife.

Ray’s farm is a magical place, and connotes what most of us imagine when we think of Iowa – a place that is mostly made of corn, consisting of a bunch of people that refuse to believe in magic. It makes sense that we would hold a caucus there.

Unfortunately, after Field of Dreams was released in 1989, 90% of Iowa farms were immediately converted to baseball fields. Many were populated with historically significant baseball players, but unfortunately, the players that appeared to occupy these fields predated the Jackie Robinson era, and racism pervaded all of Iowa. Consequently, Iowa is now known as a place with no corn and lots of race riots, all because of Field of Dreams.

Cedar Rapids

Cedar Rapids is a pretty funny film, but it gets more credit that it deserves because it didn’t get a wide release. The film stars Ed Helms, the guy that says “sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiit” from The Wire, John C. Reilly, and Anne Heche. Helms is sent to an insurance convention in Cedar Rapids, only to find that the Midwestern independent insurance accreditation game is straight-up rigged.

This film paints Iowa in a negative light in much the same way that The Wire did with Baltimore and Florida does all on its own.

Cedar Rapids was actually shot in Ann Arbor, because Iowa wasn’t able to give the film anything in the way of a tax credit. Considering the film appeared to have cost about $14,300 to produce, you think that Iowa would have been able to pony up the $91 or so that the producers required. Missed opportunity, Iowa.

Ralph Wiggum – The Simpsons

Ah yes, Ralph Wiggum. The creepy child of Chief Clancy Wiggum. You might not remember the Springfield Primary skyrocketed young Master Wiggum to political center stage. On the strength of the important so-called “Yellow Primary,” Wiggum was able to secure the nomination of both major political parties. Still, we’ll never know what might have happened with Wiggum at the helm. His bipartisan style is still a model for those seeking to unite the country around a common program.

Greg Stilson – The Dead Zone

I’m most definitely not talking about the boring TV show with the nerd from The Breakfast Club. In fact, I’m going to go on record as saying that The Breakfast Club sucks and the presence of a cast member is a bad, bad sign. But, anyway, the original film The Dead Zone comes from a land of perfectness and awesome. David Cronenberg? Check. Christopher Walken? Check. Mostly faithful adaptation of a boss Stephen King novel? Check. Total downer of an ending? Check. Stilson was to be the president who presides over nuclear holocaust, so it’s pretty awesome that Johnny got him to use a kid as a human shield. Still, I’d prefer him to the current candidates.

Robert Redford – The Watchmen

In The Watchman comic, Robert Redford threw his hat in the ring against Richard Nixon in 1988. After five terms of Dick in office, America was ready for a change. It was that or the giant squid monster or whatever the hell that thing is at the end. Apparently some things never change and one of those things is America deciding it wants a cowboy actor running its affairs.