While speaking at the Toronto film festival to promote his new film, Trespass, Cage recounted the bizarre ordeal involving a stranger, a penis, and America’s favorite stick-based chocolate ice-cream snack.

“It was two in the morning. I was living in Orange County at the time and was asleep with my wife. My two-year old at the time was in another room. I opened my eyes and there was a naked man wearing my leather jacket eating a Fudgesicle in front of my bed,” he told reporters on Wednesday.

“I know it sounds funny … but it was horrifying.”

That hilarious/horrifying story did have a happy ending in which Cage talked the man out of the house and decided not to press charges after learning the intruder was mentally ill. However, as a result of the incident, the actor says he was unable to feel safe in the home ever again. Luckily, he had other options, like his mansion in the Bahamas and that god damn castle he used to own.

(Reuters)