Magnets? Fugetaboutit!

Now that Juggalos are officially considered a gang threat, what effect, if any, will this have on the film industry, specifically, the gangster-crime genre? Only time will tell. But since I’ll probably get fired within the next six months, I don’t have a lot of time. So rather than wait around to see what happens, I decided to go back in time and filter existing gangster films through a Juggalo lens. Armed with photoshop and a poorly formatted Juggalo glossary, I came up with the following seven examples. Enjoy!

On Playboy‘s Twitter account, they recently asked their followers to identify the blonde lady stradling that “cool,” speedo-wearing dude’s leg in this photo from 1999. The correct answer is Sterling Cooper secretary Christina Hendricks. It’s hard to tell without her trademark red hair and a hallway for her to strut down while men whistle.

Now, on the one hand, here’s super-hot early Christina Hendricks in Playboy. On the other hand, that clown is seriously freaking me out. I can laugh at juggalos, cause they take the scary clown schtick to a ludicrous extreme with their magnet raps. Plus, their beverage of choice is “Faygo,” which isn’t exactly a tough sounding drink. However, this clown is right out of Stephen King’s It, so I don’t care how much he loves to party, Christina and I are not sending him an evite! Isn’t that right, Christina?

I’ll just keep pretending she’s here with me. (Jezebel)

Someone created a Tumblr called ViolentJIsJohnGoodman. Makes sense. I bet he at least knows how magnets work.

F*ckin’ links, how do they work?

_{Remembering Lynn Redgrave (Moviefone)}

_{10 Things You Should Never Say to a Lesbian (Asylum)}

_{Obama Had Help from ‘Daily Show’ Writers (PopEater)}

_{25 Sweet Food Sculptures (HolyTaco)}

_{Roman Polanski Is Terrible at PR (FilmDrunk)}

_{5 Classic Non-Regular Character Seinfeld Moments (Unreality)}

_{Now This Is One Excited Fan! (TotalProSports)}

_{Horse Name or Sex Act? (Maxim)}

_{Thiago Silva to Face Tim Boetsch at UFC 117 (CagePotato)}

_{Hayden Panettiere and Her BF (CelebJihad)}

_{Teletubbies Gone Wild (Smosh)}

_{A Downey Jr. Backlash? Inconceivable! (Pajiba)}

_{Cinco de Mayo: Arizona-Style (Atom)}

_{Best Theme Hotels on the Planet (MadeMan)}

_{Richmond Brings NASCAR Back to Par (AllLeftTurns)}