Screen Junkies » Independence Day http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Thu, 28 Aug 2014 18:33:55 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 10 Iconic Movie Lines, If They Were Written Today http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/10-iconic-movie-lines-if-they-were-written-today/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/10-iconic-movie-lines-if-they-were-written-today/#comments Fri, 11 Jul 2014 12:50:31 +0000 Jared Jones http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=262898 We live in an era of rapidly deteriorating linguistic abilities (translation: words b hard), where the appreciation for an eloquently-delivered turn of phrase is at an all time low.

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By Jared Jones

We live in an era of rapidly deteriorating linguistic abilities (translation: words b hard), where the appreciation for an eloquently-delivered turn of phrase is at an all time low. For every hour that The Learning Channel is allowed to continuing airing reality shows about polygamist midgets suffering from bipolar schizophrenia, or delusional, cupcake-baking Long Island housewives who communicate with ghosts, the IQ of the average earthling drops 10 points, thrusting our collective vocabulary ever closer to the monosyllabic, hybrid hillbilly and valley girl grunts uttered by the mouth-breathing troglodytes depicted in Idiocracy (*accepts award for greatest sentence ever written*).

The movie world has not been spared in this eradication of intellect, and could honestly be considered one of its greatest forerunners. Even the whimsical insults of eras past have been all but forgotten in favor of the base-level “sick burns” churned up by today’s creatively-bankrupt minds.

“His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.” — Mae West, 1934

“It tastes like fuckin’ dick infused with balls.” — Adam Sandler, 2013

To loosely quote Not Sure, there was a time long ago when screenplays were penned with the writer’s blood, sweat, and tears, not hastily scribbled onto a cocktail napkin amidst a three-day coke binge with Michael Bay. But times have changed. Can you imagine how some of the most iconic lines in film history would sound if they were written today? Gee, I wonder…

10 — “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” 

Modern equivalent: “I got 99 problems but this bitch ain’t one.”

9 — “Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

Modern equivalent: “Life’s like a bowl of ‘sketti and butter, so go tell Sugar Bear it’s done.” (*farts*)

8 — “A boy’s best friend is his mother.

Modern Equivalent: “A boy’s best friend is *your* mother, who I totally put a dent in last night.”

7 — “They’re here.”

Modern Equivalent: “Oh sh*t there’s some ghost-lookin’ muthaf*ckas in the TV screen!”

6 — “Yo, Adrian!”

Modern Equivalent: “Yo, Adrian!” Truly a man ahead of his time, that Stallone.

5 — “If you build it, he will come.”

Modern equivalent: “If you f*ck it, fame will come.”

4 — “A martini. Shaken, not stirred.”

Modern Equivalent: “Gin and juice. Beeeitch.”

3 — “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

Modern Equivalent: “I’ve a serious man-crush on you, Lou. No homo.”

2 — “I’m the King of the World!”

Modern Equivalent: “Suck my d*ck, Planet Earth!”

1 — “Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”

Modern Equivalent: “If anyone else wanna kill some aliens, let me hear you say yeah!”

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Dream Sequels: INDEPENDENCE DAY 2 http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/dream-sequels-independence-day-2/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/dream-sequels-independence-day-2/#comments Thu, 03 Jul 2014 18:10:56 +0000 Lyndsey Saul http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=262685 Independence Day is the greatest July 4th movie ever made - and in two years, we're getting a sequel! But what do we REALLY want to see in ID4 2? We mapped out our ideal cast, plot - and even made the first trailer!! Check it out!!

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Independence Day is the greatest July 4th movie ever made – and in two years, we’re getting a sequel! But what do we REALLY want to see in ID4 2? We mapped out our ideal cast, plot – and even made the first trailer!! Check it out!!

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7 Things To Look For In Every Roland Emmerich Film http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-things-to-look-for-in-every-roland-emmerich-film/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-things-to-look-for-in-every-roland-emmerich-film/#comments Fri, 28 Jun 2013 18:30:27 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=255536 He's got his touchpoints, all right.

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Roland Emmerich certainly has a type, as most any summer filmgoer can attest. He’s got a type of film, and subtle ain’t it. But even within the genre of Emmerich’s explosive, surprisingly bleak films, he’s maintains consistencies on a more minute level.

In the spirit of Roland, let’s cut the exposition and get straight to the good stuff. Here are seven things to look for in every Roland Emmerich film.

7. Father Son Relationship

We saw it with Jeff Goldblum and his dad, we saw it with John Cusack, and we saw it between the two leads in The Day After Tomorrow. It’s safe to say Emmerich probably has some daddy issues.

6. Environmental Undertones

Roland Emmerich likes to leave a moral beneath the veneer of dust and debris kicked up by his cataclysmic events. The most overt instance of this is the recurrence of environmental issues owing to whatever predicament the characters find themselves in. In ID:4, the aliens adopt a slash and burn philosophy towards inhabiting planets, The Day After Tomorrow is about climate change, and Godzilla is a creature created from waste.

Easy enough?

5. The Number 44

The helmer has a soft spot for the number 44, thanks to Moon 44, one of Emmerich’s early films that helped get the director to where he is today. Astute viewers will pick up on frequent appearances of the number 44. It appears on a taxi during the final scene of Godzilla, the characters in ID:4 are often tuning into cable channel 44, and the probe in Stargate is Model 44.

4. Blowing Up the White House

I can’t say that an exploding White House is a hallmark of every film Emmerich makes, but such a grand gesture sticks out in the minds of audiences, so it’s pretty safe to say that two times makes a pattern here.

We saw it in ID:4, and we see it for reals in White House Down, a movie that may or may not feature the White House blowing up every five minutes or so.

3. Characters Quitting Smoking

They may not exactly seem preachy, but Emmerich’s films definitely get back to the same messages, and one of those messages is “smoking is bad, mmkay?” Roland smoked as many as four pack of cigarettes a day, then managed to shake the habit. And he’s not taking his good fortune in quitting for granted. Often times, characters will be in the midst of quitting during an already stressful situation. Take for instance Harvey Fierstein, who struggles with quitting, only to get smashed by a flying car.

Not exactly a happy ending.

2. Bad Stuff Happening In Traffic

Disaster films are more compelling in urban environments. Watching a barn burn down doesn’t have the same impact as watching a sky scraper collapse, or pedestrians haul ass down a crowded street.

With urban environments comes traffic, and the poor guys stuck in traffic at the end of the first act better have collision insurance, because they might as well have a bullseye on their hood. Independence Day, Godzilla, and The Day After Tomorrow all lay waste to those who aren’t taking public transportation.

1. Diversity

While there are many mainstays to Roland Emmerich’s films, it’s safe to say that his habits don’t bleed into homogeneity, as he often looks beyond the handsome leading man to create protagonists that aren’t so one note as one would expect in action films. Few directors would find a place for Harvey Fierstein in an alien invasion blockbuster, or Harry Connick for that matter, but Emmerich is like few other directors.

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Honest Trailers – ‘Independence Day’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/honest-trailers-independence-day/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/honest-trailers-independence-day/#comments Tue, 25 Jun 2013 18:24:47 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=255487 "Nuke 'em..."

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With the announcement of Independence Day 2 (ID Forever Parts 1 & 2) in 2015… White House Down opening this weekend… and with Fourth of July just around the corner – we thought it was time to revisit a classic from 1996.

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9 Aliens Not to Eff Around With http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/9-aliens-not-to-eff-around-with/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/9-aliens-not-to-eff-around-with/#comments Tue, 02 Nov 2010 15:40:09 +0000 Defy Media Not all aliens are created equal. If worse came to worse, I’m pretty sure I could take E.T. in fight. The same goes for that bitch Mac, from Mac and Me. On the other hand, if you put me in the ring with a Predator, he’d be using my skull as trophy in five seconds flat. Because the threat posed by extraterrestrials can vary so greatly, we’ve compiled this list of nine aliens you don’t want to eff with. After all, throwing water on the alien from Signs is a fun way to spend an afternoon, while doing the same thing to a Xenomorph is a really bad idea. Superman (Superman)

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Not all aliens are created equal. If worse came to worse, I’m pretty sure I could take E.T. in fight. The same goes for that bitch Mac, from Mac and Me. On the other hand, if you put me in the ring with a Predator, he’d be using my skull as trophy in five seconds flat.

Because the threat posed by extraterrestrials can vary so greatly, we’ve compiled this list of nine aliens you don’t want to eff with. After all, throwing water on the alien from Signs is a fun way to spend an afternoon, while doing the same thing to a Xenomorph is a really bad idea.

Superman (Superman)

Because the Man of Steal likes to wrap himself in the flag, people forget that he’s not from the good ol’ U.S. of A. In fact, he’s not even from Earth. Regardless, this son of Krypton is nearly invincible, which makes him one of the last aliens you should mess with.

Alien Abductors (Fire In the Sky)

Fire in the Sky isn’t a great movie. Considering the film is about an alie abduction, there is a notable lack of alien abduction. But when the film finally deals with the topic, it makes for some terrifying scenes. The aliens look more like grotesque humans than creatures from another world, which makes them uniquely frightening. And the fact that they have no qualms about performing medical experiments without anesthesia seals the deal.

ID4 Aliens (Independence Day)

On the one hand, the aliens from Independence Day are pretty lame. After all, one punch from Will Smith will knock them out. But considering their technology allowed them to destroy every major city on the planet, we’re classifying them as “not to be messed with.”

Klingons (Star Trek: The Motion Picture)

I’ve never trusted Klingons, and I never will. I can never forgive them for the death of Kirk’s boy. These physically imposing warriors like to kick ass and take names. Take Worf, for example. Does he look like someone you should mess with? I thought not.

Optimus Prime (Transformers)

Few things are more badass than a big rig. Optimus Prime, a giant robot from another planet who disguises himself as a big rig, is defiantly one of them. While the Transformers movies might suck, this iconic character does not. Bumblebee, on the other hand, does.

The Bugs (Starship Troopers)

Nobody likes bugs. Well, almost nobody. Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs liked those moths, but I digress. In Starship Troopers, the film’s heroes are forced to deal with bugs from another planet. Oh, and they’re humongous. A can of Raid isn’t going to cut it.

The Thing (The Thing)

How do you mess with an alien if you don’t even know it’s there? This is the problem posed by the Thing, a parasitic creature that takes on the appearance of its victims. The other problem: it’s capable of assimilating the entire planet in three years, should it ever reach civilization. Best not to mess with this thing.

The Predator (Predator)

Chances are you’ll never even get the opportunity to mess with a Predator. The best you can hope for is that the Predator will choose not to mess with you. A large humanoid creature from a warrior culture Predators are known not only for their physical prowess, but also their advanced weaponry. Unless you’re a trained commando or Danny Glover, you don’t stand much of a chance against these creatures. But if you do manage to fight hard enough, you might just win their respect.

The Xenomorph
(Alien)

Was there any doubt that the Xenomorph from the Alien franchise would be at the top of the list? Even the Predators have a hard time dealing with these remorseless killing machines. They’re quick, fearless, and in the right conditions, they breed like cockroaches. Unfortunately, your body could end up as part of the breeding process. Oh, and by the way, if you do manage to cut or shoot one of these things, you’ll have to worry about the acid runing through its veins. Good luck with that.

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Will Smith to Play America’s 37th Black Movie President in ‘Independence Day’ Sequels http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/will-smith-to-play-americas-37th-black-movie-president-in-independence-day-sequels/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/will-smith-to-play-americas-37th-black-movie-president-in-independence-day-sequels/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Director Roland Emmerich wants Will Smith to be president. Luckily, he’s a kraut, so he can’t vote in our bad-ass American elections. However, there’s nothing stopping him from making Will Smith president in the magical world of make believe. MTV is now reporting that Emmerich was so inspired by the election of Barack Obama that he will cast Will Smith as the president in the planned sequels to his 1996 blockbuster, Independence Day....cause he’s black, I guess. This brings up an interesting question. If McCain had won, would Randy Quaid’s character, a deranged fighter pilot who was once held prisoner by aliens, be the president instead? If so, I’d like to go back and changed my vote. Sorry, Cynthia McKinney. (Cinema Blend)

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Will Smith

Director Roland Emmerich wants Will Smith to be president. Luckily, he’s a kraut, so he can’t vote in our bad-ass American elections. However, there’s nothing stopping him from making Will Smith president in the magical world of make believe.

MTV is now reporting that Emmerich was so inspired by the election of Barack Obama that he will cast Will Smith as the president in the planned sequels to his 1996 blockbuster, Independence Day….cause he’s black, I guess. This brings up an interesting question. If McCain had won, would Randy Quaid’s character, a deranged fighter pilot who was once held prisoner by aliens, be the president instead? If so, I’d like to go back and changed my vote. Sorry, Cynthia McKinney. (Cinema Blend)

 

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Will Smith Willingly Attached to Independence Day Sequels? http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/will-smith-willingly-attached-to-independence-day-sequels/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/will-smith-willingly-attached-to-independence-day-sequels/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and DJ Jazzy Jeff before a show on the mothership. Back in November we reported that Roland Emmerich wanted to do two Independence Day sequels back-to-back. We laughed at the idea and made fun of his German accent as we reenacted his interview to MTV, but now we might have to wipe a whole lotta sauerkraut off our faces because Will Smith bitch-slapped us with his recent attachment to the projects.According to IESB, Smith is on board for both sequels, possibly titled ID4-Ever Part I and Part II, a delicious pun that I hope never changes. Emmerich stated in the previous interview that the story would again be set on Earth, and the reason for two movies is that he wants "to do a bigger story arc." If I had it my way, Part II would consist entirely of Bill Pullman shooting confused looks at the rest of the ensemble cast and then delivering one ridiculously long-winded monologue before ACTUAL Randy Quaid flies off in a jet to fight aliens. Now if we can somehow invent the technology to scoop images directly out of Randy's brain they wouldn't have to shoot even a single frame. It's practically the only thing the man thinks about these days.

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The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and DJ Jazzy Jeff before a show on the mothership.

Back in November we reported that Roland Emmerich wanted to do two Independence Day sequels back-to-back. We laughed at the idea and made fun of his German accent as we reenacted his interview to MTV, but now we might have to wipe a whole lotta sauerkraut off our faces because Will Smith bitch-slapped us with his recent attachment to the projects.

According to IESB, Smith is on board for both sequels, possibly titled ID4-Ever Part I and Part II, a delicious pun that I hope never changes. Emmerich stated in the previous interview that the story would again be set on Earth, and the reason for two movies is that he wants "to do a bigger story arc." If I had it my way, Part II would consist entirely of Bill Pullman shooting confused looks at the rest of the ensemble cast and then delivering one ridiculously long-winded monologue before ACTUAL Randy Quaid flies off in a jet to fight aliens. Now if we can somehow invent the technology to scoop images directly out of Randy’s brain they wouldn’t have to shoot even a single frame. It’s practically the only thing the man thinks about these days.

 

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Roland Emmerich Getting Ahead Of Himself With ‘ID4′ Sequels http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/roland-emmerich-getting-ahead-of-himself-with-id4-sequels/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/roland-emmerich-getting-ahead-of-himself-with-id4-sequels/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Honka. Honka.Crazy landmark-destruction fetishist Roland Emmerich wants to return to his earlier hit Independence Day for not one, but TWO sequels. So that's at least $24 I'll be saving by staying the f*ck home.Emmerich tells MTV that they don't have a script but they do have an idea. But it's really two ideas because they want the story to be told over the course of two really bad movies. And of course he wants to title them both ID4-Ever. Though he wasn't forthcoming with plot details (who needs one really?), let's put on our retard caps and try to figure it out for ourselves. Here's the entire films in a nutshell.WILL SMITH: "Hey! You Independence Day aliens quit blowing up the White House. We just rebuilt it. That's a direct order from President Will Smith!! Cuz I'm President now!!! Aw hell naw!!! You're not half as friendly as the Scientology aliens!"(MTV)

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Honka. Honka.

Crazy landmark-destruction fetishist Roland Emmerich wants to return to his earlier hit Independence Day for not one, but TWO sequels. So that’s at least $24 I’ll be saving by staying the f*ck home.

Emmerich tells MTV that they don’t have a script but they do have an idea. But it’s really two ideas because they want the story to be told over the course of two really bad movies. And of course he wants to title them both ID4-Ever. Though he wasn’t forthcoming with plot details (who needs one really?), let’s put on our retard caps and try to figure it out for ourselves. Here’s the entire films in a nutshell.

WILL SMITH: "Hey! You Independence Day aliens quit blowing up the White House. We just rebuilt it. That’s a direct order from President Will Smith!! Cuz I’m President now!!! Aw hell naw!!! You’re not half as friendly as the Scientology aliens!"

(MTV)

 

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