The project is in its infancy, as his production company, the awesomely named Cube Vision, is currently looking for a writer to pen the pilot.

Ice Cube has never worked in TV before, unless you count his role as executive producer on TBS‘ Are We There Yet?, which I don’t.

I’m genuinely excited about this project for a number of reasons. First off, it’s great to Ice Cube not be a total pussy about things for the first time in almost a decade. Secondly, the premise is such that even if the quality isn’t stellar, it could still be very entertaining. Third and thirdmostly, FX has done a great job with its dramas, so I feel that point number two could be moot.

Crack some skulls, Cube.

Is the snark being laid on heavy enough here, or are we leaving room for ambiguity? Please let us know so we can get it right next time. Anyway, Glee is doing a tribute to late pop singer and noted child enthusiast Michael Jackson. Here’s our own list of people we hope get the Glee tribute treatment soon.

Slayer

Slayer pretty much invented music, so we’re a little confused about why Glee has’t paid tribute to the masters of thrash yet. We’re thinking they should do an extra-special, two-hour episode of Glee where the gang sings the entirety of Seasons in the Abyss and South Of Heaven. Maybe they can mix it up and throw in some At The Gates and Cannibal Corpse tunes while they’re at it? We’re just making a suggestion here. We’re not married to the idea.

NWA

NWA were, along with Slayer, the driving force behind the invention of modern music. Those of you not old enough to remember won’t recall the days when every song in existence was recorded by Pat Boone fronting the Lawrence Welk Orchestra. NWA changed all that. Fronted by a dwarf from Compton, NWA featured Ice Cube back when he was into jheri curls, the LA Raiders and saying “f*ck the police.” You younger readers now know Ice Cube as the conductor at Shining Time Station and the star of a host of Disney movies. We think the Glee gang can do a great version of “I Ain’t The One” and “She Swallowed It.”

Are We There Yet?

(Lyrics)
Dumb ho said somethin’ that made me mad
She said somethin’ that I couldn’t believe
So I grabbed the stupid bitch by her nappy-ass weave
She started talkin’ shit, wouldn’t ya know
I reached back like a pimp and I slapped the ho
Her father jumped up and he started to shout
So I threw a right cross and knocked his old ass out

(Plot Synopsis)
In Are We There Yet? Ice Cube plays Nick, a successful playboy who must take his girlfriend’s kids on a road trip from Portland to Vancouver. However, having never liked any of their mom’s boyfriends, the kids are hellbent on making life difficult for Nick.

How N.W.A is this plot? (Scale of 1-10, “10” being gangster as f#ck, and “1” being a mark-ass bitch): 2

Sooooo many inconsistencies here. That crazy motherf#cker named Ice Cube would have taken precisely zero shit from these kids. If they had hassled him at all, he would have tied them up at gunpoint in the back of the RV. Also, a member of N.W.A. would never find himself in the Pacific Northwest, and would certainly not be allowed to enter Canada. Finally, N.W.A. members make babies, they don’t raise them.

The Longshots

(Lyrics)
As I swung, tha fat girl fell
Lyin on tha ave just like a beach whale
That’s tha story, it’s quite ill
and all fat girls y’all besta chill
All overweight freaks stay off my block
Cause it’s eerie to have a fat girl on your jock

(Plot Synopsis)
In The Longshots, Cube plays a down-on-his luck football star who turns his niece into the team’s quarterback. When he takes over coaching duties for the team, the misfit bunch of players find their way in the Pop Warner Super Bowl. His niece struggles to be accepted by her teammates and faces adversity when her deadbeat father comes back into her life after she receives national attention, as Pop Warner quarterbacks so often do.

How N.W.A is this plot? (Scale of 1-10, “10” being gangster as f#ck, and “1” being a mark-ass bitch): 5

I can see Cube coaching a Pop Warner football team and saying things like “Take it down the field, little man,” but I can’t ever see a member of N.W.A. being “down on their luck.” Ok. Maybe MC Ren. But it’s been my experience that members of N.W.A. generally fall into one of two camps: “Hard-as-shit G’s” or “dead.” Also, members of N.W.A. are not former athletes. They’re the guys that kill former athletes in the middle of the night.

Disney is in talks with Ice Cube to produce and distribute Chrome and Paint, a drama about the South Central Los Angeles custom car scene. Ice Cube wrote and will direct the R-rated project, which is being compared to Boyz N’ The Hood. Yup, there can be no doubt that Chrome and Paint would fit Disney’s foot like a magical, sparkly glass slipper… after a few modifications.

Apparently, Disney wants the film to be PG-13, a rewrite that Mr. Cube is willing to make. Then Disney’s probably gonna want that taken down to PG, and does it all have to take place in LA? With all the crime people? What if part of the film took place on a family road trip? Finally, a Disney executive will ask Ice Cube if he could turn it into College Road Trip 2. After all, there’s no business like the College Road Trip 2 making business.

Meanwhile, Cube is set to star in 21 Jump Street with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum. (Deadline)

UPDATE: Disney picked up Chrome and Paint. So from now on, Cube will hug tha police. (Hollywood Reporter)

Riggle joins 21 Jump Street, what’s sure to be a faithfully dramatic movie version of the old Johnny Depp TV show, where undercover cops pose as teenagers in high school. He’ll play the main villain in a cast that includes Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum and Ice Cube. 21 Jump Street will be directed by the same guys who brought us Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, Phil Lord and Chris Miller. So again, anticipate some Oscar-worthy drama here.

Columbia Pictures is distributing. (Variety)

Comin’ straight out da freeza.

Mr. Cube is in talks to be part of 21 Jump Street, based on the old Johnny Depp show that made him a dreamy teen idol, much to his emo-embarrassment. Directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller (Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs) want him to play the precinct captain, cast alongside Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum. I kinda wish they’d ask him to play one of the undercove high school officers, cause he’s 41 and that would be very, very ridiculous.

In addition, Ice Cube is shopping around a movie he wrote, and would like to direct / star in. Will he also run craft services on Chrome and Paint, a gritty drama about South LA’s custom car culture? Probably not, but it’d be funny if Ice Cube didn’t trust anyone else to make potato salad, so he made it himself. Who would stop him? Hell, I wouldn’t even mess with the family friendly Ice Cube. (Deadline)

Apparently, Heigl just adopted some poor kid and was looking for a project that wouldn’t require a huge time commitment. New Year’s Eve fits the bill, since as a follow up to Garry Marshall’s surprise hit Valentine’s Day it’s a big ensemble piece. Just a couple pinches of Heigl, as opposed to a whole dish. Dunno why I went with a food metaphor but whatever. New Year’s Eve will also star (deep breath) Robert De Niro, Sofia Vergara, Russell Peters, Hilary Swank, Ice Cube, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Josh Duhamel, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Seth Meyers, Jessica Biel and Til Schweiger. (via Deadline)

Now that David O. Russell is willing to do just about anything, he’s got another weird sounding project in the works. It’s still too early for big details, but he and his Three Kings star Ice Cube are working together on a potential franchise. No, it won’t involve any kids asking when they’ll arrive at their planned destination. Nor will Cube be fighting any ghosts on Mars. This will be more of a return to Ice Cube’s glory days of smoking fools.

Russell has come up with a franchise about “a plainclothes detective who’s quick on the trigger in an R-rated raw drama that’s thematically a throwback” to Clint Eastwood’s Dirty Harry films. This is awesome. I can hear Cube’s monologue now: “I know what you’re thinking. ‘Did he fire seventy-five shots or only seventy-four?’ Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is an AK-47, the most powerful selective-fire, gas-operated assault rifle in the world, and would perforate your skull, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, cave bitch?” (Deadline)

Get ready to go further behind the music of popular VH1 "Behind the Music" subjects N.W.A (aka That-word-my-friend-Tariq-asked-me-to-stop-saying With Attitude). New Line has tapped (not as in "tapped that ass") Andrea Berloff (World Trade Center) to write Straight Outta Compton, a biopic dramatizing the rise and fall of seminal gangsta rappers and police f*ckers: Ice Cube, Eazy-E, Dr. Dre, MC Ren, and DJ Yella.

Biopics always clean up come award season and I don’t see why this one should be any different. One might argue that the subject matter is too aggressive but the same could once be said for Johnny Cash. I’m interested to see how far this can go. In fact, I’d like to go ahead and nominate it right now for the Screen Junkies’ Theater-Going Experience Most Likely to Get You Shot Award. (THR)