They got the teacher part right.

Sarandon has decided to join the motley crew that is this Adam Sandler project’s cast. She joins Sandler, Andy Samberg, Ian Ziering, and, of course, Vanilla Ice. The Hollywood Reporter states that she will play a teacher who we later find out is Samberg’s mother. (Hey, they didn’t give us a spoiler alert, so we’re not giving you one. It’s a Sandler movie. There will be no surprises.)

Apparently, the role is a major one that the studio had a special interest in casting perfectly. You have to give it up for a lady who’s been playing “hot older woman” for almost 25 years. It’s kind of freaky, actually. Also in talks are James Caan, Milo Ventimiglia, Tony Orlando (?), and Dan Patrick (???). This is shaping up to make Little Nicky look like a responsible, well-made film.

I Hate You, Dad will film in Boston this summer and will probably host the strangest wrap party ever.

Synthesizing these components into a cohesive approach to this film is a bit of a fool’s errand, though this spreadshot casting technique is not uncommon to Sandler films such as Little Nicky, which featured Harvey Keitel, Rodney Dangerfield, Tiny Lister, Reese Witherspoon, and Quentin Tarantino. When I’m comparing any film to Little Nicky, that should raise red flags all over the place.

Make of these casting choices what you will. And when you get done making something of them, imagine how much fun it must have been for the producers to negotiate with Vanilla Ice.

“You will work on the film for three weeks and you will make $400 and get limited access to the craft services table.”

“I accept your terms.”(Variety)

Sandler is producing under the Happy Madison name, which means that there will be about forty of Sandler’s friends in it, most of whom will speak with “funny” accents. It’s not all bad news, though. David Wain and Ken Marino, both “The State” alumni, have performed a rewrite of the original script written by David Caspe, which allows for the possibility that their brand of humor could counteract the inertia that has been plaguing Sandler’s recent “comedic” performances. Defeating that inertia would be a herculean task, but with the way Sandler’s career has gone, all we have left is hope. (Variety)

Sony has tightened up their summer 2012 tentpole release schedule (it’s never too early), and here’s what they’re working with:

(Please remember all release dates subject to change as movie execs get into pissing contests)

• Men in Black 3 – 3D (May 25th) The third installment of the Tommy Lee Jones/Will Smith family-friendly sci-fi series, also starring Josh Brolin.
• I Hate You, Dad (June 22nd) Adam Sandler is Andy Samburg’s dad in this comedy. Expect lots of silly voices, hilarious rage, and maybe some ironic rapping.
• The Amazing Spider-Man – 3D (July 3rd) Andrew Garfield‘s fills the shoes Tobey Maguire vacated in what will certainly be Sony’s most touted summer release.
• Here Comes the Boom (July 27th) Kevin James is a biology teacher that does karate or some crap.
• Total Recall (August 3rd) Colin Farrell plays the protagonist (Quaid) in this remake that shifts a bit from the story of the original. This film isn’t listed as 3D, but don’t rule it out.

While not an inspired slate of offerings from Sony, summer usually exists as a breeding ground for the familiar, so in 13 months, get ready to turn off the thinking cap and get mesmerized by the explosions and the fat guy falling over. (Deadline)