Ok. The difference itself may not be mind-blowing, but the fact that the trend of rising ticket prices is reversing is saying something. Namely that audiences are less willing to see movies if they’re really expensive. (I don’t even have an economics degree. I just figured that out. Swear to God.)

However, don’t get too excite that prices are falling across the board. This figure is likely just an indication that people are less willing to pony up for 3D films than they used to be, and your standard ticket prices are the same unreasonably-high bullshit they’ve always been.

But this could send a message to theater owners (theaters set ticket prices, not studios) that people aren’t willing to pay what they once were. The 3D novelty has worn off, and attending movies, especially in big cities, is becoming cost-prohibitive.

Do I propose some sort of global candy-smuggling initiative aimed at letting theater owners know that the only way we’re willing to absorb higher ticket prices is if we do so with pockets full of Pretzel M&M’s and gray-market Red Vine?

Yup. That’s what I’m doing right now. First person to put a good name to this movement in the comments gets the satisfaction of knowing they helped change the world.

Living in Los Angeles, I have been bombarded with this image and commercials on bus stops, buses, and countless other non-bus related avenues:

I find this offensive. Not offensive to men, though it probably is, and not offensive to women, though it probably is offensive to them as well. I find it offensive to people who go through their day-to-day lives without having to congratulate themselves on completing the ordinary tasks that life (business, family, and social) requires.

A few of the things that we’re not expected to know how she does them:

“Make coffee”
“Organize files” (whatever the fuck that means)
“Schedule meeting”
“Lunch”

Also, at the top of the poster “pick up dinner” is listed while the fourth item from the bottom appears to be “make dinner.” And, directly in front of her navel, she needs to “make dinner reservations.” I’m not going to feel sorry for someone who consumes three dinners per day. I’m sorry, I’m just not.

If the movie is to have us believe that she’s so high-powered, the script writers should have educated themselves on an economic concept called opportunity cost. The third item on the list is “fix the leak.” Why is this high-powered businesswoman doing her own plumbing? Either she is really poor, or she is an idiot. Either way, the producers are selling us on a paradox. Gordon Gekko doesn’t mow his lawn because the value of his time is somewhere north of $10,000 per hour. She can outsource some of these tasks. That’s the very reason a lot of people work so hard – so they don’t have to fix leaks.

Going through the balance of the list, you’ll see that SJP’s tasks constitute the most mundane to-do list in history. She’s not special. She’s just like everyone else. Sadly, the producers (or marketing team or whoever) can’t even create this list without redundancies such as “check email,” then a little lower on the list, the hopelessly vague “email.”

To anyone with any semblance of a life, this list isn’t all that daunting or even unfamiliar. So why is she so great, and, more importantly, why can’t we understand how she does it? I would think that if she works hard at the office, then works hard raising her kids, that would suffice in “doing it.”

People who have kids aren’t oblivious to the notion of raising them. SJP didn’t become the court-ordered guardian of two orphans after losing a wager. She had unprotected sex (presumably) on two separate occasions, became aware of her pregnancy at some point thereafter, gestated and birthed them. Which is great. Miracle of life and whatnot.

What is not great is acting like you’re climbing a mountain every day of your life because now you have these children. If I go to the housewares sections of a department store with a baseball bat and destroy all their nice flatware and vases, I forfeit the right to complain about how I don’t have any money because I have to pay for all the stuff I broke. It’s the same principal as the act the producers are pulling in regards to SJP’s character.

Tons of people get through the day without complaining about having to make coffee or check their email. You know what’s hard? Raising kids without a white-collar job. If you can afford a nanny and don’t hire one, but still bitch about how busy you are, you’re not brave. You’re an asshole.

I’ve gone and upset myself with this piece, so there are just a few other items I would like to bring up before I eat my first dinner of the evening.

Look at the other poster:

Love that tagline, “If it were easy, men would do it too.” First of all, it’s implying that men don’t do hard things, like fight in wars or see films like this to please their retarded significant others, which is totally untrue.

Secondly, I’m having a hard time pegging what “it” is, but that’s probably the crux of the film. That oh-so-elusive tightrope walk between parenting, career, and love? I know many successful businessmen who are excellent parents, excellent husbands, AND have mistresses. That’s one more element to juggle and they don’t complain about it. You know what they do? They talk about how great their lives are.

If we are supposed to pity Sarah Jessica Parker’s great career, burgeoning love, and beautiful, healthy children, the filmmakers are aggressively barking up the wrong tree. Her life is great, and pretending it’s not, or that it’s harder than ours, is just stupid and condescending.

Here’s the theatrical trailer. See if you can figure out how the shit she does it.

9 photosGoodness Gracious: New Pics Of Olivia Munn In Maxim

Also starring Pierce Brosnan, Greg Kinnear, Christina Hendricks Olivia Munn and Seth Meyers, so if Parker wasn’t the lead, at least the cast would have interested me.

What the hell? That trailer looked great. Did They Might Be Giants threaten litigation? Was Tom Hanks upset by the horror house portrayal of his beloved moon?? They also pushed back Piranha 3DD and added the re-titled Our Idiot Brother starring Paul Rudd and hot actresses and the Sarah Jessica Parker/Pierce Brosnan joint I Don’t Know How She Does It to the schedule.

The new release dates are as follows:

Apollo 18: January 6th, 2012

Piranha 3DD: November 23rd, 2011

Our Idiot Brother: August 26th, 2011

I Don’t Know How She Does It: Who cares?

(Deadline)

I Don’t Know How She Does It is the story of Sarah Jessica Parker as a working mom who, judging by the title, wows her peers who just don’t know how she accomplishes all that stuff that looms over 40 year-old women The box office breakdown is expected to be 95% women and 5% sad, broken men. Kinnear will play her husband and Curtin will play Parker’s mom. The film is based on the Allison Pearson novel of the same name.

All those critical of having to hear SJP whine about how hard it is to be a single professional in SATC now get to hear her whine about how hard it is to be a married professional in IDKHSDI. (Don’t expect that acronym to catch on.)(Collider)

I encourage you all to Photoshop some cleavage licking. This is your starter kit. GO!

The Weinstein Co. is off-setting the casting of Sarah Jessica Parker in I Don’t Know How She Does It by jamming this thing full with nerd-crushes.”Mad Men‘s” Christina Hendricks and”The Daily Show‘s” Olivia Munn have agreed to distract the audience in the new romantic comedy.

Hendricks will play a friend of Parker’s who is plagued with back problems. Munn plays a colleague of Parker’s at the financial firm where she is a high-powered career woman who juggles her busy work life with motherhood. To ensure this film achieves total vanillability, Seth Myers, Pierce Brosnan, and Kelsey Grammer have all joined in unspecified roles, though it’s believed Myers will play the character that continually breaks character. (LA Times)