Screen Junkies » hustler http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Mon, 18 Aug 2014 21:37:31 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 A Porn Studio Is Building An Underground Bunker For The Apocalypse http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/a-porn-studio-is-building-an-underground-bunker-for-the-apocalypse-no-big-deal-really/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/a-porn-studio-is-building-an-underground-bunker-for-the-apocalypse-no-big-deal-really/#comments Fri, 09 Sep 2011 18:20:18 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=227788 I think the survivors will envy the dead in this scenario.

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The Mayans never spoke to the porn industry in their dissection of the end of days on December 21, 2012. Well, as the date looms near, Van Nuys porn studio Pink Visual (gross) isn’t taking any chances. They’re getting proactive in their confrontation with the end of the world. They’re building a bunker underground that was originally to serve as a safehaven for employees and their families, but, convinced to ride out the the armeggeddon in style, they also decided to offer invites to the performers, offer a fully-stocked bar, and a performance stage.

I am all for adult entertainment, but I don’t think I’d like to ride out the apocalypse knowing that the world is dying above me, while two guys rail a chick in close proximity to me. Call me old fashioned.

Anyway, it’s more than a little presumptuous to think that an underground bunker will spare them from the wrath of a vengeful God (or this is all a big hoax to get Pink Visual’s name on a bunch of blogs like this; either way: kudos, Pink Visual), but I guess it’s worth a shot, but on December 21, 2012, you’ll find me where you find me at that date every year – dutifully gift-wrapping Christmas presents at the Hustler store.

To thine own self be true. (Bro Bible)

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Links Away: Hustler Skewers ‘Jeopardy!’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/links-away-hustler-skewers-jeopardy/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/links-away-hustler-skewers-jeopardy/#comments Wed, 23 Feb 2011 01:29:12 +0000 Reza F. http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Video&p=29228 Perhaps they're running out of ideas, or perhaps this is just what America needs. In any case, Hustler's upcoming parody of popular long-running game show "Jeopardy!" is bound to be the most educational porno of the last ten years.

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Perhaps they’re running out of ideas, or perhaps this is just what America needs. In any case, Hustler‘s upcoming parody of popular long-running game show “Jeopardy!” is bound to be the most educational porno of the last ten years. Either that or it’ll just involve a lot of dick jokes and double entendre. (WarmingGlow)

I’ll take links for $100 and also some shame:

The Top-Five Candidates for an EGOT (MovieLine)

How Not to Drink Flaming Everclear (BarstoolSports)

Holy Taco’s Guide to Sexting (HolyTaco)

Someone Made a Three-Hour Resevoir Dogs Porno (FilmDrunk)

Cameron Diaz is Super Ripped (CelebJihad)

Alice In Wonderland Demonstrates Drug Use (Unreality)

10 Movies The Oscars Made Famous (MovieFone)

The Most Uncomfortable Talk Show Moments (PopEater)

Seven Reasons Why a Pet Monkey is a Horrible Idea (Smosh)

The 13 Hottest Wonder Woman Costumes In Pop Culture History (Ranker)

150 of the Greatest Movie Lines and Catchphrases (BroBible)

Meet the New Wonder Woman (Maxim)

Celebrities You Had No Idea Were Married/Kind-of-Married (Pajiba)

Nine Reasons to Watch the Oscars (NextMovie)

Rico Rodriguez On Why the UFC Won’t Have Him Back (CagePotato)

2011 Oscars Cheat Sheet (MadeMan)

Dead Island Trailer Parodies (GameFront)

Raiden is a Terrible Roommate (TuVez)

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Hustler’s ‘Avatar’ Porno Will Blow Your Mind (and Other Things) In 3D http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/hustlers-avatar-porno-will-blow-your-mind-and-other-things-in-3d/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/hustlers-avatar-porno-will-blow-your-mind-and-other-things-in-3d/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 We're through the looking glass here, people. Hustler has announced that their upcoming sexxed-up take on Avatar, entitled This Ain't Avatar XXX will be jamming more than ponytails into orifices in pants-swelling 3D. Though it's not the world's first porno (that distinction belongs to Octopussy 3D: A XXX Parody and Whorrie Potter and the Sorcerer's Balls), it will be Hustler's most expensive.This idea scares the crap out of me. I really don't want to be naked except for a pair of 3D glasses. That's a rule that I've set for my life and one that I don't intend to break. It's on my bucket list of things not to do. And what would happen if you cross your eyes while wearing those things?!! I don't know and don't want to know!! (Huffington Post)

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We’re through the looking glass here, people. Hustler has announced that their upcoming sexxed-up take on Avatar, entitled This Ain’ Avatar XXX will be jamming more than ponytails into orifices in pants-swelling 3D. Though it’s not the world’s first porno (that distinction belongs to Octopussy 3D: A XXX Parody and Whorrie Potter and the Sorcerer’s Balls), it will be Hustler’s most expensive.

This idea scares the crap out of me. I really don’t want to be naked except for a pair of 3D glasses. That’s a rule that I’ve set for my life and one that I don’t intend to break. It’s on my bucket list of things not to do. And what would happen if you cross your eyes while wearing those things?!! I don’t know and don’t want to know!! (Huffington Post)

 

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Hustler’s Making an ‘Avatar’ Porno. Duh. http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/hustlers-making-an-avatar-porno-duh/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/hustlers-making-an-avatar-porno-duh/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 The "Reverse Na'vi-girl" has already been perfected. Someone over at Hustler had the brilliant idea to turn the second (soon maybe first) most profitable movie of all time into a porno. Give that man a promotion! In addition to Hustler, he must have an endless subscription to DUH!!!!!! Magazine.The nakey, sweaty, blue-smeary version of Avatar will be called This Ain't Avatar XXX, and it's just one of a few forthcoming porn parodies from Hustler. They also plan to "produce" This Ain't Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX, This Ain't Glee XXX, and This Ain't CSI XXX: Chatsworth. Another genius must by scribbling these names down feverishly in the titling department.In fact, the titles are confusing and misleading altogether. Is this NOT Avatar XXX? Does that mean it's just the Avatar without all the moaning and thrusting? If I'm browsing the shelves of my favorite adult bookstore for the latest Avatar porn why would I want to buy the one called This AIN'T Avatar XXX? I want This IS Avatar XXX. I want the IS! All of the blue, long-tailed, pointy-earred filthy IS they can crame into one poorly executed film! Just don't give it to me in 3D. My senses aren't prepared for that onslaught... (Empire)

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The "Reverse Na’vi-girl" has already been perfected.

Someone over at Hustler had the brilliant idea to turn the second (soon maybe first) most profitable movie of all time into a porno. Give that man a promotion! In addition to Hustler, he must have an endless subscription to DUH!!!!!! Magazine.

The nakey, sweaty, blue-smeary version of Avatar will be called This Ain’ Avatar XXX, and it’s just one of a few forthcoming porn parodies from Hustler. They also plan to "produce" This Ain’t Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX, This Ain’ Glee XXX, and This Ain’t CSI XXX: Chatsworth. Another genius must by scribbling these names down feverishly in the titling department.

In fact, the titles are confusing and misleading altogether. Is this NOT Avatar XXX? Does that mean it’s just the Avatar without all the moaning and thrusting? If I’m browsing the shelves of my favorite adult bookstore for the latest Avatar porn why would I want to buy the one called This AIN’T Avatar XXX? I want This IS Avatar XXX. I want the IS! All of the blue, long-tailed, pointy-earred filthy IS they can crame into one poorly executed film! Just don’t give it to me in 3D. My senses aren’t prepared for that onslaught… (Empire)

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