This will be Zach Snyder‘s first movie based on an original script, not an adaptation. As you can see, the film’s got a bunch of sexy, scantily clad girls who also kick ass… and they say Hollywood is out of new ideas! *Rimshot* Though we’ve got to give props to any movie poster that features a fire-breathing dragon, a robot army, a B-52 bomber and some kind of ogre samurai. Between those elements and all the hot girls, it makes me wonder if Zack Snyder secretly optioned this recurring dream I had in middle school for source material. (Firstshowing.net)

Click twice for the bigger version!

CHUD was the first to point out that sexy model-actress Diora Baird has announced via Twitter that she has auditioned for a role in the upcoming Thor film. No one is certain which role she read for or if she’ll even get the part but it’s a slow news morning so conjecture like this makes headlines. Honestly. It was between this or pictures of dogs sniffing celebrities.

Tee-hee! Look at ‘im sniff her!!

Get a whiff of these fresh-scented morning links…

Let’s get you squared away for the weekend. Tainted meat, spoiled pets, college hijinks, plane crashes, Neil Diamond, and Lucy Liu: Vampire Hunter round out what you should be watching. I should also note that you don’t want to miss the return of Battle Whale.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

NEIL DIAMOND — HOT AUGUST NIGHT: NYC
Network: CBS
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: The Godfather of Adult Contemporary Cock Jams is bringing his electricity to NYC for ONE NIGHT ONLY. This is a huge cause for celebration. 8PM on Friday, pre-game with Neil.
 

WHALE WARS
Network: ANIMAL
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: The team plans to poison the whale meat aboard the Japanese ship to make it worthless. Later Paul witnesses a brutal whale killing. And an act of vengeance pitches Battle Whale’s soul into a dark place. One from which there may be no coming back.

WHO’S ON LATE

LETTERMAN (repeat)
Sandra Day O’Connor; MSTRKRFT with John Legend

CONAN
Shaquille O’Neal;  Demetri Martin; Jack Ingram

KIMMEL
Jonah Hill; Mary McCormack; Ryan Sheckler

FERGUSON
Liza Minnelli; archaeologist Kara Cooney

FALLON
January Jones, Neal Brennan

SATURDAY, AUGUST 15th, 2009
 

BACK TO SCHOOL
Network: HBO
Time: 8:15 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: How can you look into those bulbous, leaky eyes and say ‘no’?
 

INSANELY PAMPERED HOLLYWOOD DOGS
Network: Style
Time: 10:30 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Tune in and find out why the terrorist hate us.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 16th, 2009
 

RISE: BLOOD HUNTER
Network: Syfy
Time: 7 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: Lucy Liu returns from the grave to destroy the vampires that killed her. I don’t think this ever got a theatrical run. So let me get this straight. Lucy Liu made a movie worse than Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever??
 

HUDSON PLANE CRASH — WHAT REALLY HAPPENED?
Network: TLC
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Find out the real truth about what brought Flight 1549 down on that chilly, winter day. And find out why the birds would attack us like that after years of peace. Can we peacefully co-exist again or is it time for Operation: Chase After Some Pigeons With A Weed Whacker?

^{CLICK ON PHOTO TO SEE COMIC}

Playboy and Quentin Tarantino have teamed up to create a comic strip adaptation of a scene from Inglourious Basterds with reports that the director hand-picked and edited the piece. Here’s the scene in the director’s own words, "Okay, so. The Basterds come upon this Nazi and he’s like this real bad Von Trapp-hating motherf&*%er, y’know? So. And then Brad Pitt’s all like, ‘Listen David Hasslehoff. I’s Aldo Raines and I didn’t come all the way to Germany for the strudel. We’s in the Natzi-killin’ business and we’s here for your scalp. Today the hills ain’t alive with the sound of music, Colonel Clink-looking motherf%$^ker. They’s alive with the sound of killin’.’ So. Y’know? (*pause; grows quiet*) May I have another Orangina please, Scott?"

SIDENOTE: It wasn’t until just now that I realized comic book Brad Pitt closely resembles loveable drunkard Andy Capp.

And enjoy these glourious morning links…

Television’s ultimate pitchman has passed away. Billy Mays, the charismatic and clamorous infomercial host died in his sleep after sustaining a head injury during a rough plane landing this past weekend. The very likeable Mays is currently co-starring with Anthony Sullivan on the Discovery Channel show Pitchmen. This really is such a shame. It’s always sad to see someone cut down while their star is on the rise. His contributions to the tapestry of television will be sorely missed. (Variety)

And on a side note, can we please put a stop to all of these recent high profile deaths? Keyboard Cat’s paws are gonna fall off at this rate.