“The content was, I felt, rather amusing and it was a big joke. I was horrified to find some people took it seriously,” said Hitchcock in 1964.

I think this is just a case of Hitchcock trying to be provocative. There’s no way that Psycho was meant to be received as a comedy, though it is much more funny than Russell Brand. (Daily Mail)

In addition to Microsoft Kinect-centric scares, the new trailer for Paranormal Activity 4 also sets us up a bit more with the film’s plot. After a demonically-possessed woman is sent to the hospital, her kidnapped nephew is left to stay with the neighbors (Nevada law). From there, the camera and technology obsessed family notice strange happenings occuring around their young houseguest. If this family values their chandeliers and furniture AT ALL, they’ll turn that kid over to the proper authorities asap.

The Librarian – Ghostbusters

The ghost that started it all and pretty much ruined it for any ghoul or demon who would think to mess with New York City. The Ghostbusters formed shortly after investigating a paranormal disturbance in the stacks of the New York Public Library. What they found was a sweet librarian floating off the ground and insisting for silence. When she didn’t get that silence, this was the result:

SOMEBODY GOT TOLD!
Though she lacks the strength and might of Gozer the Gozerian, she’s on the list because I personally find the Librarian far more scary. And also because Gozer is a shape shifting Sumarian god. Therefore, ineligible for this important list.

The Grady Daughters – The Shining

As if kids aren’t creepy enough, imagine coming face to face with a ghost kid. And not just any ghost kid, but a ghost kid that warns you’re going to be murdered. Now multiply that by two. So creepy, right?!!

As it just so happens, another scary film by the name of Silent House hits theaters this Friday (March 9th), so if our supercut has put you in the mood for horror, go and check it out.

And when you get to the theater, tell them “ScreenJunkies sent you.” We get an extra nickle every time someone says that.

In the new version, Mike Tobacco will return to mentor two young people who must save the world when the Killer Klowns return for a second course. They’re currently seeking distribution and funding for the film. I’m surprised that studios or Syfy aren’t jumping at this. It’s an opportunity to make something awesome and original. If I had the money, I’d do it. For now, I can only offer up my services as a wise-cracking victim. I’ll even lift weights for the part if needed.

Which do you think we’ll see first? Return of the Killer Klowns From Outer Space or Ghostbusters 3? (Facebook)

Dry County Entertainment is planning a remake of Roger Corman‘s 1980′s horror flick that saw teenagers locked in a mall fighting for survival against high-tech security robots. Production is scheduled to begin in the spring, but it seems the project will be similar in name only. Dry County owner, Robert Hall, explains, “It will retain the basic concept of young people trapped in a mall; however, the story will have a darker, supernatural spin.”

In other words, robots are too expensive. I just hope this darker, supernatural spin will still involve heads exploding from laser fire. You can’t have Chopping Mall without that. (Variety)

Origin:

Often the most terrifying thing about a villain is their origin story. Michael Myers began his pattern of serial killings as a six-year-old boy in the quiet town of Haddonfield, Illinois. Mike Myers, however, launched his career from the place we least expected: Canada. I’m numb with fear just thinking about it.

Point: Mike Myers

Body Count:

The easiest way to gauge horror factor is by shear number of kills. Michael Myers has this wrapped up, with an on screen body count dating back to 1978 and nearing triple digits as of 2009‘s Halloween 2 remake. But while he might lack quantity in this department, Mike Myers more than makes up for it in quality. His most famous movie kill occurred when he (off screen) murdered the Sprockets film project in 2000, dashing the hopes of Dieter fans everywhere, and destroying David Hasselhoff‘s plans to install a swimming pool with his Sprocket’s cameo check. The deaths of dozens of fictional babysitters edge this out… barely.

Point: Michael Myers

For more background, Radcliffe stars as a young lawyer who travels to the English coast to settle the affairs of a recently deceased woman. And get his ass haunted in the process. The Hammer Films production was written by Kickass and X-Men: First Class’s Jane Goldman and directed by Eden Lake’s James Watkins.

This weekend sees a “prequel” to one of the best horror films ever made coming to theaters. The Thing (an excellent remake itself) is a classic, and though the new film isn’t technically a remake, early reviews are pointing to the fact that it pretty much is. Does it belong on a list of worst horror remakes? We’ll hold judgment until we see it for ourselves. But in the meantime, we can steer you away from these insultingly-bad horror remakes that failed to live up to their predecessors.

A Nightmare On Elm Street

While this was in production, we were promised a gritty re-imaging of Elm Street. The promotional materials promised us everything every fan always wanted — more focus on Freddy’s back story. However, what we got didn’t deliver on any of those promises. Instead, it was mostly a lame retread of scenes we saw in the original re-imagined to include vlogs and other already-dated modern trends. This film showed the most promise when it focused on the scenes that questioned whether or not Krueger was innocent before his execution. But in the end, all of that was squandered to make way for more dumb jokes and toothless scares.

The Amityville Horror

The back story gets re-imagined here to disastrous effect. Ryan Reynolds stars as a dad who goes all Shining on his family after moving into a house that was once used to torture Indians. More time should have been spent on making he house actually scary rather than showing off the cast’s stomach muscles. Though those were nice too.

The Fog

This remake of John Carpenter‘s awesome pirate ghost story was more concerned with having a pumped up, poppy soundtrack than it was with turning in any genuine scares. In Carpenter’s original, you could hear undead pirates ripping the skin off an elderly babysitter as if it were fabric. Here you only hear Fall Out Boy.

Well, if you’re bored with seeing hot chicks getting butchered, it’s time to take matters into your own hands. No, I’m not telling you to start killing women I am, however, telling you to check out Break.com’s Halloween Scare Contest, where you can enter your own scary video for a chance to earn up to $1000. Check out the link above for more details.

There are a few differences this time around. For instance, the antagonist isn’t a surgeon. He’s just a super-fan who resorts to using plastic tubing, rusty tools, and a staple gun. Also, there are a lot more mouths to feed now. But perhaps the biggest change is the decision to film in black and white. It creates a much more intimate feel to intensify the general feeling of claustrophobia. Seems like they’re saving 3D for the next sequel.

In all fairness, these viewers don’t seem genuinely scared or upset and could be watching a flicker for all we know. Or The Zookeeper. But, for their sake, I’m hoping it’s the flicker.

Cast: Warren Christie, Lloyd Owen, Ryan Robbins

Synopsis: Decades-old found footage from NASA‘s abandone Apollo 18 mission, where two American astronauts were sent on a secret expedition, reveals the reason the U.S. has never returned to the moon.

Release Date: September 2, 2011

The Last House on the Left

Fans of Wes Craven‘s super-violent The Last House on the Left were pretty pissed to hear that the classic was being updated, but everyone was pretty stoked when the film was released. Director Dennis Iladis delivered a film that hung onto what was great about the original and lost what was crappy comic relief to deliver a really brutal film.

The Crazies

The Crazies remake is fantastic. With awesome make-up effects and really inventive plot turns, it’s a movie that just keeps giving you more without getting dull or derivative. It’s actually like six movies in one that blend together without feeling scattered. That’s not easy to do when dealing with zombie rednecks.

Dawn of the Dead

Like The Crazies, this is another George Romero update that stands well on its own. The script from James Gunn is terrifying, action-packed, and also effectively funny when needed. It was the world’s first glimpse of what Zack Snyder is capable of, and in my opinion, his best work. Very creepy and very cool.

Cloverfield

Rob and Beth talking to the camcorder

A perfect blend of two parts monster madness and one part sappy romance, Cloverfield‘s plot revolves around a massive creature of unknown origin as it ravages downtown New York. Instead of evacuating, a young man goes to rescue an ex-girlfriend with the help of some friends. Being a hero at heart he goes back knowing full well the monster still lurks the area. A word of caution, the director went with the “shaky cam” style of filmmaking—one or both of you may end up puking, unless you have a stash of Dramamine on hand.

Alien

Alien stuck to crew member's face

A spacecraft lands on a distant, unexplored planet to answer a distress beacon after which an alien creature boards their ship. While some may consider this to be a little too “old-school”, it still delivers the chills even if you have already seen it a few times. The H.R. Giger-designed alien is frightening enough, but most of the scares are delivered through Ridley Scott‘s masterful use of mood and atmosphere. Even if it is the “oldest” film on this list, Alien set the bar so high when it was release in the late ’70s that horror flicks today, in all their CG glory, still struggle to match its quality.

28 Days Later

Zombie on fire chasing Cillian Murphy

Most think 28 Days Later is a zombie-type flick. The truth is, the “zombies” are actually still alive, having been transformed into monstrous, bloodthirsty savages by a strange virus. The creatures roam the streets of England hunting down the few survivors who remain in the country. 28 Days Later is so frightening and so disturbing that there is a strong possibility it will be you that ends up inching towards your girlfriend as you watch in fear.

The Mist

From the mind of Stephen King, The Mist features a plethora of monsters that all but guarantees to give you and your girlfriend some major goosebumps. A handful of civilians are trapped in a local grocery store as a strange mist engulfs their entire town. The mist not only clouds the area it covers, it is also home to an unknown number of fiendish monsters. You may have to watch this movie at least once before watching it with a lady friend just so you know what to expect. The last thing you want to do is scream like a little girl in front of her.

Dog Soldiers

Werewolf in the woods in Dog Soldier

Last but not least is the 2002 British release, Dog Soldiers. A squad of special forces are training in the Scottish Highlands when they find the remains of another group of soldiers who had trained in the area. The troops then go into battle mode only to find that their adversaries are not men but werewolves. The movie does start slow but by the 30 minute mark, you and your girlfriend will be clinging to each other in mutual fear…which will hopefully lead to some other mutual activities.

Links for zombies:

Maggie Gyllenhaal Breaks Dakota Fannings Cherry (Movieline)

Hardcore Park Ranger (BarstoolSports)

Levi Johnston’s Rejected Book (HolyTaco)

Juggaloing Is Not A Crime (FilmDrunk)

Victoria Justice Shows Her Ass (CelebJihad)

Portals ‘Stay Alive’ Slows Down (Unreality)

What Lady Gaga Can Learn (Moviefone)

Chelsea Handler Thinks Kirsty Alley…Is Fat!!! (PopEater)

Cat Ears Are Hot In Japan (Smosh)

The Best Zombie Movies of All Time (Ranker)

Southwest Airlines Trick Shots!!! (BroBible)

Kelli Hutcherson Hotness (Maxim)

Seven Psychopaths Sounds Sick (Pajiba)

Piratizing Hollywood Stars (NextMovie)

Lesnars Off The Hook (CagePotato)

Behold, Maggie Q (MadeMan)

Why Brink Sucks (GameFront)

Amaia Salamanca Hotness (TuVez)

If Colin Farell, the vampire next door, was grabbing me by the shirt, I would probably die immediately. Of fright!

The only thing scarier than McLovin with a tiny knife is McLovin with a tiny knife… IN WATER!

Anton Yelchin faces his most terrifying obstacle in this scene. And that is trying not to make fun of Imogen Poots‘ name.

And as if all of this wasn’t scary enough, the film will be in… 3D! I’m never sleeping again. (Collider)

Smith is promising early screenings in multiple cities, along with his trademark Q & A sessions to follow. He’s also promised to brin Red State star Michael Parks along as well, and has hinted at some vague “cool shit” in addition. But, it’s going to cost you. Smith has said that the tickets will cost somewhere in the ballpark of “probably 6, 7, maybe 10 times” the price of a regular movie admission. Let’s hope that “cool shit” includes an iPad, or a Pruis.

Kevin Smith‘s “Red State USA Tour” Dates:

March 5th – Radio City Music Hall
March 6th – Wilbur Theater in Boston
March 8th – Harris Theater in Chicago
March 9th – State Theater in Minneapolis
March 10th – Michigan Theater in Ann Arbor
March 11th – Indianapolis, IN
March 12th - Midland Theater, Kansas City
March 14th – Springfield, OH
March 22nd – Paramount Theater, Denver
March 26th - McCalister theater, New Orleans
March 28th – Paramount Theater, Austin
March 29th – Cobb Energy Center, Atlanta

April 4th – McCaw Hall in Seattle

(Slashfilm)

Neil Marshall has signed on to direct Underground, a horror thriller writen by David Cohen. The film will take place in "the world of gourmet underground supper clubs."

That doesn’t sound very scary. I’ve been to more than a few supper clubs in Wisconsin, and the only thing I found frightening was the brownswager (a.k.a. liverwurst) and a few of the more obese patrons. There has to be more to this story…and there is!

According to producers, "the protagonist is an ambitious young chef who ventures into the terrifying underbelly of extreme cuisine."

Holy crap, what are they cooking that’s so extreme! Now I’m scared! Sort of. Actually, to be honest, I kind of have a taste for brownswager. But I’ll settle for this soylent green imitation brownswager, instead. I wonder what it’s made of. (Deadline)

Do you like horror films? Do you like 80′s Nostalgia? Do you like big boobs?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, good news: "Elvira’s Movie Macabre" is returning to the small screen. Everyone’s favorite large-chested lady-ghoul is back, and will once again begin hosting her weekly horror program this fall.

The show, which began in 1981, was a blatant "Vampira" knock off. But because Elvira, played by Cassandra Peterson, showed such wonderful cleavage, no one seemed to mind. Here’s hoping that legend about vampires aging slowly is true, because those same cleavage shots won’t be so wonderful if they stretch all the way to her kneecaps. (Dread Central)

I’m writing this one through gritted teeth, fellas.

Below the jump we have a brief look at Steven R. Monroe’s remake of the castration classic, I Spit on Your Grave. Sarah Butler stars as a woman who is attacked and sexually assaulted in the dead of night. She manages to escape and returns to take revenge on her attackers in shockingly vicious ways. Like, catching a fat guy in a bear trap. Or lopping off a guy’s unit with a pair of rusty garden shears. Wouldn’t a more fitting (preferable) punishment be to rape him? Eye for an eye and all. This lady’s got issues. (Apple)

Put a book on your lap and watch the trailer after the jump…

I Spit on Your Grave – Watch more Movie Trailers

With a shortage of movies about people running around and biting other people hitting screens this summer, it’s very good news that Rec 2 may find its way to American theaters. Bloody Disgusting has reported that Magnolia Pictures is close to securing a July theatrical run for the gory sequel with Sony aiming to put it on DVD in October.

This is of course the sequel to Rec, the shaky cam Spanish horror film that spawned the love-it-or-hate-it nearly shot for shot American remake Quarantine. Sony has announced that Quarantine 2‘s action will be set in a cordoned off airport as opposed to Rec 2‘s infested tenement. I’ll definitely check it out this July. I only hope the subtitles count towards my summer reading. **adjusts ascot, straightens helmet**

Fourfour put together a compilation of all those cheap scares in movies when someone pushes the medicine cabinet mirror closed after grabbing their Xanax/roofies for the evening, and someone/something APPEARS BEHIND THEM IN IT! It’s quite amazing how many movies have actually used a gag that I’m quite positive was first on screen back when people thought Cary Grant was straight. 

Watch out for these links!

_{The Best Strip Scenes in Movies (Moviefone)}

_{25 Rednecks Being Rednecks (HolyTaco)}

_{Marisa Miller Loves Matthew Stafford’s Hair (TotalProSports)}

_{Tarantino Fields an Avatard Question (FilmDrunk)}

_{Phil Baroni’s Mom Makes Lattes for Matt Serra (CagePotato)}

_{20 Noticeable Mistakes from James Bond Movies (Unreality)}

_{Is Girls in Adult Diapers Considered Porn? (Asylum)}

_{Maxim’s Red Hot Valentines (Maxim)}

_{Twilight Star John Murtha Dies (CelebJihad)}

_{5 Best Movies Filmed in New Orleans (Pajiba)}

_{Phone Sex with Two Girls is Better Than One (Atom)}

_{The White Castle Valentine’s Day Dinner (MadeMan)}

_{15 Essential NASCAR Twitter Feeds (AllLeftTurns)}

Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos

Finally the trailer for the sequel to Demonic Toys has hit! The footage for Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons puts Avatar to shame. Who needs blue mutant cat people when you’ve got the dynamic duo of zombie baby and psycho jack in the box clown? James Cameron, hang your head in shame.

_Synopsis:

_{Dr. Lorca from Hideous! (Michael Citrini) is back and is continuing to collect strange odditites, along with the help of Caitlin (Alli Kinzel) and her boyfriend David (Lane Compton). Along the way, they collect the mysterious pieces of the last Demonic Toys and they continue their search at a mysterious castle in Italy, where there have been rumors of a mysterious, ancient puppet alive and walking around, which is under the control of a mysterious demon, who takes on the human form of a little woman named Lilith (Selene Luna). When not looking, the puppet brings the Demonic Toys back to life, and now… blood, terror and death counts will rise again.}

Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons is coming to On-Demand in the very near future.

(DreadCentral)

Thanks to the folks at Bloody Disgusting, we get a sneak peak at George Romero‘s latest attempt to breathe more life into the zombie horror genre (pun blatantly intended). There’s everything you’d expect in the trailer below: zombies, humans, guns, brains, stilted dialogue. We don’t watch these films for the breakthrough performances though, we watch them because we feel compelled to on the off chance that something blows our brains out of our skull (oh man the puns are so goooood)! Check out the trailer below and let us know what you think. Is Survival of the Dead going to be better than Land of the Dead? 

Survival of the Dead Promo Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos

Today’s Marquee Links

How to Tackle Your Own Teammate

Sexy Motivational Posters

Zombie Mickey Mouse Figure

15 Pro Athlete Candy Bars

Rali Pics

Oakland Raiders Cheerleaders

Cast: Kenneth Welsh, Kathleen Munroe

Synopsis: On an island off the coast of North America, local residents simultaneously fight a zombie epidemic while hoping for a cure to return their un-dead relatives back to their human state.

Director: Marcus Dunstan

Cast: Madeline Zima, Andrea Roth, Josh Stewart

Synopsis: Desperate to repay his debt to his ex-wife, an ex-con plots a heist at his new employer’s country home, unaware that a second criminal has also targeted the property, and rigged it with a series of deadly traps.