Kring’s new show is called “Touch.” It’s about a mute, autistic child with the ability to see into the future. Fact: If you didn’t crack a smile at that last sentence, you might actually be a robot.

When developing supernatural dramas, writers often have an ending in mind for the series. I’m guessing that the whole series about the autistic boy’s life will turn out to be the collective dream of everyone on the show St. Elsewhere. (The Wrap)

The big news out of the NBC Upfronts is the cancellation of "Heroes" and "Law & Order: Original Recipe." No huge loss there, but the network also pushed fan favorite "Parks & Recreation" to midseason, in order to make room for the new comedy "Outsourced" on their schedule. Hopefully this move will help build anticipation for the series and solve the problem of having to shoot around the bun that Will Arnett lovingly rammed into Amy Poehler‘s oven.

In addition to "Outsourced," the Peacock picked up twelve other new programs. None of them really grab me, but I don’t watch a lot of television anyway. Because of my good looks and all.

CHECK OUT THE SCHEDULE AND TRAILERS AFTER THE JUMP.

MONDAY
8PM: ‘Chuck’
9PM: ‘The Event’

10PM: ‘Chase’

TUESDAY
8PM’The Biggest Loser‘
10PM ‘Parenthood‘

WEDNESDAY
8PM: ‘Undercovers‘

9PM: ‘Law & Order: SVU‘
10PM: ‘Law & Order: L.A.’

THURSDAY
8PM: ‘Community’
8:30PM:’30 Rock‘
9PM:’The Office‘
9:30PM: ‘Outsourced’

10PM: ‘Love Bites’

FRIDAY
8PM: ‘School Pride’

9PM: ‘Dateline’
10PM: ‘Outlaw’

SATURDAY
Repeats

SUNDAY
7PM: ‘Football Night in America’
8PM: ‘Sunday Night Football’

MIDSEASON

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

PERFECT COUPLES

TH PAUL REISER SHOW

THE CAPE

HARRY’S LAW

Whole lot of shaking going on at NBC and more specifically Heroes. This past week we saw the killing off of Adrian Pasdar’s character, heard the news that Sendhil Ramamurthy has been cast in a new pilot for the network, and the network itself merged with Comcast. Everyone is taking the departure of Ramamurthy and Pasdar as a sign that the show is canceled. ScreenJunkies reached out to an inside source at Heroes who confirmed these rumors as false.

Our source tells us that Ramamurthy got a pilot and asked the writers to write him out. They obliged.  Everyone loves Sendhil Ramamurthy and his character, but the truth is he didn’t have a lot of screen time this season, and the writers felt they shouldn’t stand in the way of the actor’s future. Look for Mohinder Suresh to make his exeunt in an episode airing in late January.

Our source further tells us that given that Heroes (and it’s DVD sales) is huge all over the world, it’s doubtful it will be canceled anytime soon. From a business standpoint, another season would bring the number of shows up to 100 which would position Heroes as a bona fide asset for future ancillary ventures. In fact, as The Hollywood Reporter pointed out, Comcast CEO Brian Roberts gave a verbal shout-out to Heroes on his phone call to investors after the merger went through yesterday. It’s always a good thing to impress the new boss. That’s why I wear tight t-shirts around the office. How you gonna hate on a guy who looks like Rambo pretty much with his shirt off?

Ali Larter wore the whip cream bikini seen ’round the world.  We all remember, and it’s the only time we ever wished we were James Van Der Beek.  Okay, maybe also in Dawson’s Creek a few times when him and Katie Holmes got cozy, but that’s it.  Ali’s starred in Heroes as Nicky since the show’s beginning, but as of yet has not donned a whip cream bikini in any of the episodes.  Hey Heroes producers, Sweeps is coming up soon.  Wink wink.  WINK!

A word from Ali: “I hate pretty-looking boys. I’d rather have a guy with a potbelly than one who’s in the gym all the time and watches what he eats.”

Hmmmm, somehow I doubt this.  Ali recently got married and I’m almost positive the lucky guy doesn’t resemble Artie Lange.  No one wants that, Ali.  No one.

Evidence that someone’s been going to the gym after the jump!

Regardless of your deviance, we can all agree that Hayden grew up from this…

All the way into this very attractive and very legal woman.    

In honor of Miss Panettiere starring in I Love You, Beth Cooper this Friday, let’s follow her career path starting with her breakout role and see how Hayden’s… ahem… developed.

"HEROES"

The show that made her a star. Hayden plays badass Claire Bennet, the cheerleader who can take anything, and we mean anything. If she can fall off a bridge and pop her shoulder back into place, imagine the things you could do if you were having sex with her on that bridge.  And then imagine what you would have to pop back into place.

THE ARCHITECT 

In this drama, Hayden plays a teen confused and enarmored with her changing female body. A chance to showcase her acting chops? Possibly. A chance to showcase some skin? Definitely. But it’s of course because the work requires it. 

NEUTROGENA COMMERCIAL 

Sure, it looks like soap, but it also looks like something else.

^{And it’s all over her hands and her face.}

You think these commercials are for girls? Think again. They’re to convince boys to buy their girlfriends facewash, and Hayden is behind the conspiracy.

BRING IT ON: ALL OR NOTHING 

Hayden krumping. HAYDEN. KRUMPING. Need I say more? She’s a white blond girl and she’s krumping. Krumping?! And the weird dubbing makes it even creepier.

CANDIES PHOTOSHOOT

You gotta love the dirty little photoshoots they always get these young ingenues to dress like slutty school girls.  By the way, Chris Hansen is still standing behind you.  He’s doing the crossword puzzle in his paper waiting for you to play the next clip.

"WAKE UP CALL" MUSIC VIDEO 

The inevitable music video. Every hot, young, famous actress has to cut a record. And what’s really weird is that they all sound the same. But Hayden does don enough dark eyeliner in the video to make me question her morals, so that’s cool.

I LOVE YOU BETH COOPER 

So far this is as close as we’re getting to seeing some frontal nudity from Hayden. Maybe if that right role comes around that really challenges her as an actress and the nude scene is crucial to the story then she’ll take it all off. But until then we have to deal with staged-boob-blockage and frustrating back skin. 

– IAN SOBEL

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The new trailer for Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2 has stalked it’s way online and shows us essentially more of the same. It’s two years later and Michael Myers is once again rampaging through Haddonfield in an attempt to slay his little sister Laurie. If I were related to Michael Myers I’d move to somewhere like France where they don’t celebrate Halloween. Or age of consent laws. (Pajiba)

Bryan Fuller’s all like, "F this!" (NY Mag)

Dexter Season 4 poster makes our ovaries smile. (/Film)

Transformers take over Vegas. (First Showing)

Look closely and you’ll notice Ron Jeremy in Ghostbusters. (Proton Charging)

Trailer for Miyazaki’s latest, Ponyo. (Empire)