Screen Junkies » herman cain http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 29 Aug 2014 17:39:03 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Sadly, Herman Cain Won’t Be On ‘Dancing With The Stars’ Next Season http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/sadly-herman-cain-wont-be-on-dancing-with-the-stars-next-season/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/sadly-herman-cain-wont-be-on-dancing-with-the-stars-next-season/#comments Wed, 15 Feb 2012 14:00:34 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=245368 We'd rather see him in a 'Temptation Island' reboot, anyway.

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Normally, we’re not in the habit of publishing developments that don’t happen, but this non-event is mostly interesting (and hilarious) because Herman Cain was asked by the producers of ABC hit Dancing with the Stars to get out their and shake his shit.

Unfortunately, Cain declined. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Cain’s executive assistant offered up this little gem, playing to his 9-9-9 philosophy: “He can’t dance in an eight-count. He can only dance in a nine-count.”

Take as long as you need to compose yourself from all that laughter.

No reason was given for his refusal, but one can assume that because Herman Cain doesn’t have a huge stockpile of dignity behind him anymore, he should probably hoard every morsel, and that strategy doesn’t mesh will with appearing on dancing reality programs.

The show was reportedly eying Michelle Bachmann as well, though her camp hasn’t given a response on the matter. We wait with bated breath.

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Herman Cain Admits To Quoting ‘Pokemon: The Movie 2000′ On The Campaign Trail http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/herman-cain-accidentally-quoted-pokemon-the-movie-2000-on-the-campaign-trail/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/herman-cain-accidentally-quoted-pokemon-the-movie-2000-on-the-campaign-trail/#comments Mon, 05 Dec 2011 15:00:12 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=238628 Had I known about him quoting 'Pokemon' sooner, he would have had my full support.

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Herman Cain has finally admitted to an indiscretion. No, he didn’t own up to any sexual misconduct or admit to loving Papa John’s garlic butter dipping sauce. Rather, he admitted to quoting Pokemon: The Movie 2000 while electioneering and misattributing it to “a poet.”

The GOP candidate dropped out of the race on Saturday amidst scandal, but not before coming clean. In August during the Republican primary debate, Cain quoted “a poet” when saying, “Life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it’s never easy when there’s so much on the line.”

This past Saturday he admitted his mistake.

“I believe these words came from the Pokémon movie. I’m not sure who the original author is, so don’t go write an article about the poet, but it says a lot about where I am — where I am with my wife and my family, and where we are as a nation. Life can be a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It’s never easy when there’s so much on the line. But you and I can make a difference. There’s a mission just for you and me.”

Had someone told me that Herman Cain loves both pizza and Pokemon, I’d had backed him 100%. Now I’ll never have that opportunity, as he’s been shamed and forced to drop out. I bet that Team Rocket has something to do with this. (THR)

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In Honor Of Herman Cain: 7 Disgraced Movie Politicians http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/in-honor-of-herman-cain-7-disgraced-movie-politicians/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/in-honor-of-herman-cain-7-disgraced-movie-politicians/#comments Tue, 29 Nov 2011 19:30:55 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=238053 14% of them are played by Frank Langella.

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In the midst of sexual harassment allegations and a newly alleged affair, pizza czar Herman Cain is reassessing whether or not he’ll remain in the race. The determining factors, according to Cain, are the toll the scandals have taken on his family, and whether or not he still has the support or if his constituents, some of whom have noticed he’s a shady nutbar. To make matters worse, he shares a name with the bad cyborg from Robocop 2.

No matter what happens, Cain can take solace in knowing he wasn’t quite as bad as the disgraced movie politicians listed below… as far as we know.

Greg Stillson – The Dead Zone

When clairvoyant weirdo Johnny Smith shakes hands with U.S. Senatorial candidate Greg Stillson, he gets a chilling view of the future. Stillson will go on to become President of the United States and later President of Blowing Shit Up With Nuclear Bombs. After the vision, it becomes clear to Smith that he must assassinate him. He makes his attempt at a rally, but misses. However, a spooked Stillson shows his true colors by grabbing a nearby baby to use as a human shield. That’s worse than 1000 Howard Deans.

Adam Sutler – V For Vendetta

If you’re going to head an ultra-Right Wing fascist regime, the last thing you need is a vigilante rising up to challenge you. That’s exactly what happens to Adam Sutler. He creates a police state by violently removing minorities, gays, non-Christians, and the handicapped from the UK. In the end, he is betrayed and murdered in front of his nemesis. It’s a fitting end. Otherwise he’d be reaping the paycheck from Viagra sponsorships.

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Yup, Tim From ‘Tim And Eric’ Can Make A Weirder Herman Cain Ad Than Herman Cain Can http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/yup-tim-from-tim-and-eric-can-make-a-weirder-herman-cain-ad-than-herman-cain-can/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/yup-tim-from-tim-and-eric-can-make-a-weirder-herman-cain-ad-than-herman-cain-can/#comments Wed, 26 Oct 2011 22:46:55 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=233944 This is where I would put in my interpretation of the video you're about to see, but it's a 'Tim and Eric' video, so that's impossible.

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Well, in case you thought Herman Cain would go unchallenged in the competition for “weirdest campaign ad ever,” you can rest assured that he barely had the title for 24 hours before Tim Heidecker of Tim and Eric fame stood up and said, “Not so fast there, Herm.”

(He calls Herman Cain “Herm” in this little parable.)

This droning song and video has me wanting to slowly march outside, through oncoming traffic, to find the nearest polling place so that I may “ride the Cain train” with a vote for Herman Cain. For President. 2012.

Do you think that if Cain lost the presidential election but won the title of “YouTube Sensation” that he would consider his campaign a victory? Lord knows I would. This guy hasn’t been on my radar for very long, but he’s really been entertaining.

Way funnier than George W. Bush and that whole “there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq” vaudeville act he pulled 10 years ago. That got old quick.

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Herman Cain And The 9 Craziest Campaign Videos Of Recent Years http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/herman-cain-and-the-9-craziest-campaign-videos-of-recent-years/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/herman-cain-and-the-9-craziest-campaign-videos-of-recent-years/#comments Tue, 25 Oct 2011 18:24:29 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=233731 I wish I could vote for all these candidates, even the ones whose elections have already taken place.

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Herman Cain has kept the internet plugging along today with his newest campaign video (below). But does he really get to corner the market on ill-advised campaign videos? Of course not. We live in America, where around 80% of our politicians are certifiably crazy, so let’s remember that he’s party to just one of many weird campaign videos of the recent past.

Herman Cain – 2012

This spot is just fine until the last eight seconds or so, when the wheels just fall off. The close up of the Chief of Staff smoking a cigarette, the cheesy, cheesy song, and, of course, Herman Cain doing a slow turn towards the camera. You would half expect the White House to be condemned after two months if these guys moved in there.

Mike Gravel – 2008

This ad is called the “demon sheep” spot, quite fittingly. Just…just watch it, please.

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