Unfortunately, Cain declined. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Cain’s executive assistant offered up this little gem, playing to his 9-9-9 philosophy: “He can’t dance in an eight-count. He can only dance in a nine-count.”

Take as long as you need to compose yourself from all that laughter.

No reason was given for his refusal, but one can assume that because Herman Cain doesn’t have a huge stockpile of dignity behind him anymore, he should probably hoard every morsel, and that strategy doesn’t mesh will with appearing on dancing reality programs.

The show was reportedly eying Michelle Bachmann as well, though her camp hasn’t given a response on the matter. We wait with bated breath.

The GOP candidate dropped out of the race on Saturday amidst scandal, but not before coming clean. In August during the Republican primary debate, Cain quoted “a poet” when saying, “Life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it’s never easy when there’s so much on the line.”

This past Saturday he admitted his mistake.

“I believe these words came from the Pokémon movie. I’m not sure who the original author is, so don’t go write an article about the poet, but it says a lot about where I am — where I am with my wife and my family, and where we are as a nation. Life can be a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It’s never easy when there’s so much on the line. But you and I can make a difference. There’s a mission just for you and me.”

Had someone told me that Herman Cain loves both pizza and Pokemon, I’d had backed him 100%. Now I’ll never have that opportunity, as he’s been shamed and forced to drop out. I bet that Team Rocket has something to do with this. (THR)

No matter what happens, Cain can take solace in knowing he wasn’t quite as bad as the disgraced movie politicians listed below… as far as we know.

Greg Stillson – The Dead Zone

When clairvoyant weirdo Johnny Smith shakes hands with U.S. Senatorial candidate Greg Stillson, he gets a chilling view of the future. Stillson will go on to become President of the United States and later President of Blowing Shit Up With Nuclear Bombs. After the vision, it becomes clear to Smith that he must assassinate him. He makes his attempt at a rally, but misses. However, a spooked Stillson shows his true colors by grabbing a nearby baby to use as a human shield. That’s worse than 1000 Howard Deans.

Adam Sutler – V For Vendetta

If you’re going to head an ultra-Right Wing fascist regime, the last thing you need is a vigilante rising up to challenge you. That’s exactly what happens to Adam Sutler. He creates a police state by violently removing minorities, gays, non-Christians, and the handicapped from the UK. In the end, he is betrayed and murdered in front of his nemesis. It’s a fitting end. Otherwise he’d be reaping the paycheck from Viagra sponsorships.

(He calls Herman Cain “Herm” in this little parable.)

This droning song and video has me wanting to slowly march outside, through oncoming traffic, to find the nearest polling place so that I may “ride the Cain train” with a vote for Herman Cain. For President. 2012.

Do you think that if Cain lost the presidential election but won the title of “YouTube Sensation” that he would consider his campaign a victory? Lord knows I would. This guy hasn’t been on my radar for very long, but he’s really been entertaining.

Way funnier than George W. Bush and that whole “there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq” vaudeville act he pulled 10 years ago. That got old quick.

Herman Cain – 2012

This spot is just fine until the last eight seconds or so, when the wheels just fall off. The close up of the Chief of Staff smoking a cigarette, the cheesy, cheesy song, and, of course, Herman Cain doing a slow turn towards the camera. You would half expect the White House to be condemned after two months if these guys moved in there.

Mike Gravel – 2008

This ad is called the “demon sheep” spot, quite fittingly. Just…just watch it, please.