At this point they should cast Betty White and call it a day.
Looking forward to those GIFs.
‘Red 2: Even Redderer’
An incomplete retrospective on the fast and loose awards ceremony that is the Golden Globes.
Among NBC’s new shows for the vaginally-inclined: “Up All Night” with Christina Applegate, the Whitney Cummings sitcom and Spielberg’s Broadway drama “Smash.”
We’ve got a new trailer for ‘The Debt’, starring Sam Worthington, Helen Mirren and Tom Wilkinson. Three Israeli spies snuck into East Berlin to kidnap a horrible Nazi doctor… Stop me if you’ve heard this one.
You won’t mind watching it because of Brand and Mirren, and Gerwig is sweet, but there’s nothing memorable or hilarious.
Hide your tea, hide your crumpets, because Russell Brand is getting DOWNRIGHT CHEEKY all over errybody in this first trailer for the upcoming remake of ‘Arthur’.
The interesting visuals are minimal in The Tempest so the film relies mostly on the text. The story of an island hermit’s manipulative games with some shipwreck survivors isn’t quite as deep as star crossed lovers or political treachery.
I loves me some badass, bald Bruce. He’s my hero and Red had all the makings of the kind of crazy action movie I like. In some ways it kind of delivered but I’m still disappointed by it. The comedy works and making that the context for the action totally works, but it’s more "Moonlighting" than Die Hard.
Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) goes about his daily routines, flirting with Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker) by phone as she handles his pension check. When ski masked guys come to his house, he takes them all out, goes after Sarah and gets the old gang back together. He was a CIA operative with Joe Matheson (Morgan Freeman), Marvin Boggs (John Malkovich) and Victoria (Helen Mirren). Now agent Cooper (Karl Urban) is on their tail.
More after the jump…
As any self-respecting stalker of Helen Mirren can tell you, Hollywood's sexiest old lady has teamed up with Bruce Willis for the upcoming action-thriller type movie, Red. But what they might not know unless they have a Google Alert set up for "hot geriatric ass" is that an excerpt from the film was just released. Luckily, I do, and I'm more than willing to keep you posted on such matters.
In the clip, Mirren and Willis discuss life after retirement. Of course, the pair are retired spies, which makes it a much more interesting conversation than it would be if they had been insurance salesmen, postal employees, etc.
Keep in mind I'm stealing this synopsis from Collider since I can't get the damn video to load on my connection. Up yours, Iola, Kansas public library.
Watch Bruce Willis and Helen Mirren talk some sh*t out after the jump…
Who says Hollywood is out of ideas? Obviously they haven't seen this picture of Helen Mirren giving Russell Brand the old "rub & tug" on the set of Arthur. In fact, seeing a geriatric Mirren giving Brand a bathtub HJ is the most original thing I've seen in weeks, and mind you, I watch Bravo daily.
The only question is how is Hollywood going to top this? Chances are we'll see Betty White giving an "Asian massage" to the wolf-boy from Twilight sometime soon. "Team Jacob" indeed! (Cinema Blend)
The Machete red band trailer is awesome, but not one that you can share with your grandmother. Unless your grandmother is awesome. Thankfully, we have the new trailer for RED to appease Nans.
This second trailer gives us a much better idea of what's going on, and the film seems legitimately fun. C'mon. It's got Helen Mirren and bazookas. You'll never see that again until we successfully engineer that Stephen Frears-Michael Bay hybrid moster. And the funding drives for that have been an abject failure so far.
Watch a batsh*t Malkovich after the jump…
So, did you hear the one about the girl with the cleft…..uh oh!
Next time your OB/GYN tells a crude joke or makes a "wrong turn," take a page from The Debt and bring the busta down, hardcore.
OB/GYN takedowns aside, The Debt tells the story of a team of Mossad agents tasked with capturing an infamous Nazi war criminal in 1965, and the secret that still haunts them 30 years later. Directed by John Madden and based on a 2007 Israeli film of the same name, The Debt is fun for the whole family, as long as your family considers films like Marathon Man and The Boys From Brazil "fun," which I assume they do.
Watch a badass OB/GYN takedown, after the jump.
Director: John Madden
Cast: Sam Worthington, Helen Mirren, Tom Wilkinson, Ciaran Hinds, Romi Aboulafia
Synopsis: In 1965, three young Israeli Mossad agents on a secret mission capture and kill a notorious Nazi war criminal. Now, thirty years later, a man claiming to be the Nazi has surfaced in Ukraine and one of the former agents must go back undercover to seek out the truth.
Release Date: December 29, 2010
Robert Schwentke's film adaptation of the Warren Ellis graphic novel Red looks like The Losers recast for a CBS audience. It stars Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich (going full-Nugent), and Mary-Louise Parker as former CIA assassins forced into retirement. But old habits die hard and the boredom of retired life sets in, causing them to venture out on their own to murder-for-hire. And then when their old bosses try to have them killed, they reunite to take the fight to the CIA's front door. Why is the CIA always trying to kill its former employees? That hardly happens with any other profession. Better off safe than sorry though. That's why I've been systematically eliminating the customers from my boyhood paper route. That, and because of their ethnicities. HELEN MIRREN POPS A CAP AFTER THE JUMP…
Pick a whore, any whore! The trailer for Taylor Hackford's Love Ranch has scratched, tickled, and hit the web. In it, Helen Mirren and Joe Pesci portray the real life couple that started the first legal brothel in Nevada. Needless to say, there are prostitutes in this film, gentlemen, and you better believe at some point Pesci teaches them some respect. Will it be Gina Gershon, Bai Ling, Scout Taylor-Compton, or Taryn Manning who is subject to the little man's wrath? Considering Manning has already done the whole "lady of the night thing" before in Hustle & Flow she's probably the most resilient. But don't get too cocky, Taryn. Pesci lays down pimp law a lot harder than Terrence Howard. I have the bruises to prove it. Check out the trailer after the jump. Love Ranch propositions its way into theaters June 30.
Director: Taylor HackfordCast: Helen Mirren, Joe PesciSynopsis: Tells the story of the married couple who opened the first legal brothel in Nevada.Release Date: June 30, 2010