9. Captain America – $176,654,000
8. Thor – $181,030,000
7. Cars 2 – $191,446,000
6. Fast Five – $209,837,000
5. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides – $241,071,000
4. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II – $249,388,000
3. The Hangover Part II – $254,464,000
2. Transformers III: Dark of the Moon – $352,390,000
1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 – $381,011,000

Seven sequels and two comic-book adaptations round out the list. In case you were looking for the highest-grossing original premise for a film, you’ll have to scroll past #10 (Rise of the Planet of the Apes) to find Bridesmaids, one of the year’s few cinematic causes celebres.

I realize that bitching about the lack of original ideas is pretty unoriginal in itself, but this list demonstrates just how little both studios and audiences want to make or experience something new. I feel like the quality of these films almost takes a backseat to the glaring lack of originality.

Almost.

The films vary in quality, as one would expect, but I’m not really inclined to hate on these movies for a variety of reasons. Mostly, though I have avoided them like the plague, and don’t feel qualified to speak on the matter. That said, the banality of this list compels me to attach each film’s Rotten Tomatoes score to it.

9. Captain America – $176,654,000 – 78% RT
8. Thor – $181,030,000 – 77% RT
7. Cars 2 – $191,446,000 – 38% RT
6. Fast Five – $209,837,000 – 78% RT
5. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides – $241,071,000 – 33% RT
4. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II – $249,388,000 – 26% RT
3. The Hangover Part II – $254,464,000 – 35% RT
2. Transformers III: Dark of the Moon – $352,390,000 – 35% RT
1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 – $381,011,000 96% RT

This list contains one excellent movie, the good movies, and five bad movies. When viewed through that lens, it’s little surprise that five of the highest-grossing films of the year are bad. Four were good or better. That’s not so terrible, is it?

I think it is, given the familiarity of films. I have always viewed sequels, adaptations, and reboots as a crutch for moviegoers and studios alike. Taking an old idea and repackaging it takes away much of the fun. But people would rather buy a ticket to something they know, even something they know to be mediocre or even bad, than they would take a chance on something that could be great, but could also be a complete mess.

Take a movie like Hugo. It’s 100% family-friendly, possibly the best use of 3D since Avatar, and a seasonal (pretty much) film. It is also regarded as one of the year’s best, having garnered a 94% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It has made $26 million dollars in three weeks. It probably will get to $35 million. Twilight made $35 million dollars in the time it took you to read this sentence.

Again, this article isn’t meant to plod through the well-worn territory of “everything Hollywood makes is crap,” but rather offer up some quantitative evidence of what audiences are valuing. It doesn’t make me happy or sad. I really don’t care how much money a film makes or loses. You would have to pay me to care about that. But I do care that these box office takes indicate trends that will dictate what movies will be made in the future. Sure, if Martin Scorsese didn’t make Hugo, he probably would have made another awesome film, probably starring Leonardo DiCaprio. But I’m guessing Scorsese won’t be given another big-budget film for a long time, and that sucks.

Michael Bay, on the other hand, is currently in talks to direct a fourth Transformers film.

Looking at these lists makes me feel like someone just slid a bowl of plain oatmeal under my face. It doesn’t make me mad. It doesn’t make me feel much of anything, other than a smug sense of superiority, which was around way before the list.

So if you wanted to know how much movie goers value “Hey! I know that!” more than they do “Hmmm. That sounds like a great movie,” compare the above lists with this one:

9. Winnie the Pooh – $26,700,700 – 91% RT
8. Arthur Christmas – $25,300,000 – 92% RT
7. Source Code – $54,700,000 – 92% RT
6. Midnight in Paris – $55,900,000 – 93% RT
5. Drive – $34,600,000 – 93% RT
4. Hugo – $26,000,000 – 94% RT
3. Moneyball – $74,000,000 – 95% RT
2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 – $381,011,000 – 96% RT
1. The Muppets – $56,400,000 – 97% RT

As much as critics and movie journalists discuss the gap between the quality of films and their financial success, the truth is it could be even bigger than we thought.

So, what’s playing this weekend?

Salvation Boulevard

When you save the best for last, it makes sense to save the worst for first.

The 'Salvation Boulevard' Trailer Compels/Confuses You

Best Review
Salvation Boulevard isn’t groundbreaking or even consistently funny, but it is mildly inventive and the absurdities of its characters are tender and recognizably human. Best of all, we’re encouraged to laugh with them rather than at them.

Mark Holcomb – Village Voice

Worst Review
It’s a stupid farrago of aborted ideas, misguided actors, lame direction, submental writing and follow-the-dots plotting that never comes anywhere within a 10-mile radius of what I used to call coherent filmmaking.

Rex Reed – The New York Observer

Our Recommendation
The fact that Rex Reed hates a film usually means it’s at least watchable. But unfortunately, this time it looks like he’s part of the general consensus. Despite it’s more than respectable cast, Salvation Boulevard is falling flat, leaving 90% of critics unimpressed. Don’t be a hero. Go see Harry Potter with everyone else.

Winnie the Pooh

This classic children’s tale is back in an all new Disney animated film.

But how does Pooh hold up in the age of Pixar?

Best Review
In a time of shock-value 3-D animation and special effects, the look of the film is gentle and pleasing.

Roger Ebert – Chicago Sun-Times

Worst Review
Disney doesn’t offer much here that it hasn’t done as well before.

Liam Lacey – Globe and Mail

Our Recommendation
Clearly, Liam Lacey has no soul. With 90% of film critics agreeing that Pooh is a pleasing children’s film, fans young and old should not hesitate to give it a look. It’s a shame that it’s coming out the same weekend as Harry Potter. Hopefully it will get some spill over when Deathly Hallows sells out.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2

It’s the end of an era for Harry Potter films.

New Clip And Photos From ‘Deathly Hallows Pt. 2: The One Where Something Finally Happens’

Best Review
A movie with no beginning and no middle but two-plus hours of thundering, momentous ending…

Andrew O’Hehir – Salon.com

Worst Review
Now that the Harry Potter series is over, maybe the truth can be realized: This has been the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises.

Armond White – New York Press

Our Recommendation
With a staggering 97% of critics in agreement that Deathly Hallows: Part II is worth checking out, who am I to disagree? Unless your opinions are normally in line with Armond White, you’ll probably find this film to be a satisfying conclusion.

Last night I saw an early screening of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.  The streak is broken.  I cried.  I hate admitting that, but it’s true.  I know everyone has something to say about the end of this series, but I’m going to have to weigh in here.  Harry needs to know what a big deal this is for me.  No, I’m not crazy.  Doesn’t he feel a little real to you too?

Dear Harry,

I’m really not alright with this parting of the ways.  I’ll never be alright with it.  You’ve been a part of my life for so many years now.  I might have been too old to wait for an owl when I turned eleven like so many of my friends, but believe me, I would have.

Your story struck me for so many reasons.  I never got over that little spark of hope that there really was magic in the world, even if we couldn’t see it.  That maybe, if I just opened my eyes a little wider, I’d see something amazing.

I think every little kid (and quite a few adults) hoped that someone would swoop down and pull them out of their misery/everyday life/ordinary existence and tell them that they were special.  That all the crap they went through (and would continue to go through) meant something.  In the absence of a real half giant on a motorcycle coming to swoop us up and away to Hogwarts, we lived vicariously through you.

Second 'Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows' Trailer

What meant even more was that it never really did work out as planned.  It wasn’t just the sweet story from the first book/film.  I mean, your parents died saving you, but in the end, it all could have been a magical beginning to a lovely, quiet life of magical cooking and traveling through the Floo network instead of being stuck in traffic.  But no one pulls punches in real life and no one did here either.  Your story got darker and darker.  Your life got harder and more complex.  The villains were real and people you loved died.  Now, after living through your discovery that there was more to life than you knew as a little kid, we live through your discovery of mortality and pain, and what it’s like to grow up.  In a very magical and dramatic way, of course, but if you think about it, how different was it?  We all go through wonder, then disillusionment.  We just saw it amplified up on the big screen.

In a way, I think that’s why stories like yours are so well loved.  Everyone has to be built up and cut down and then build themselves back up again to move forward in life.  But to each person, it feels far more dramatic and painful…and sometimes joyful than it looks to the outside world.  Inside everyone’s head, they’re saying, ”What I just went through…yes, I know you’ve dealt with it to, but LOOK!  It’s huge for me.  Don’t you get it?”  So when we get to see you battle evil for a real cause and fall in love and lose people so dramatically, so magically, we are looking at our own battles.  You’re living them as loudly as we feel them.  Do you know what I mean?

Last night, when I watched the epilogue play out on the silver screen, it really hit home.  Seeing those who survived move on and age and realize they’ll never be as innocent as the first day they boarded the train to Hogwarts at platform 9 3/4 was like the day I visited my old elementary school.  The chairs looked so small.  The teachers so old.  There was such a sweet sadness there.  It’s a time that can never be captured again.  I think that’s why I finally shed tears at a film.  Because the phenomenon that was Harry Potter is over.  I’ll never discover the next chapter.  Your story has been told.  I’ll never hear the haunting notes of the score begin another leg of your journey.  I’ll never get to say, ”I can’t wait to see how they do that,” or hear the binding crack as I open a new book, or sit back in my theater seat and repeatedly tap my husband’s arm, unable to contain my excitement about what was about to be shown on screen.

I feel a little older today, Harry.  And a little sadder.  I’ll miss you.  Tell Ginny I said hi.

Love,

Jenna

Still looking for the final horcruxes, Harry (Daniel Radcliffe), Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) return to Hogwarts. The school defends itself against the final attack of Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) while Harry searches for the last piece of his backstory that will reveal how to finally kill his nemesis.

Second 'Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows' Trailer

The siege of Hogwarts gives Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II real momentum. The forces of evil wizards keep progressing closer as the students fortify themselves. This film’s flying broom chase is more thrilling than any game of Quidditch before. There’s some stellar dragon action too, and it’s hardcore. He fries some goblins.

The character moments are effective too. Snape’s (Alan Rickman) final action, Professor McGonagall’s (Maggie Smith) defense of the students, Harry’s final face-off against Draco (Tom Felton) all have serious dramatic weight. The kisses feel genuinely romantic, although a few supporting characters who I didn’t know get killed. That will upset the true fans more than me.

2 photosNew 'Harry Potter' Stills Feature Impressive Chair Fort

I still zone out when Dumbledore’s brother (Ciaran Hinds) starts explaining but that’s minimal in the finale. It’s almost a good thing to have a lousy Deathly Hallows Part I to get all the explaining out of the way, and leave all the good parts for kick-ass Part II.

The visual effects seem to be at their peak. Maybe the 3D hides the seams, but the stone guards, the light blasts attacking the Hogwarts shield and the ghost of Helena Ravenclaw (Kelly Macdonald) all look fully ingrained in the scene and believable.

The epilogue totally works. It’s heartwarming, and the age makeup is so minimal it looks more like kids pretending, which fits the denouement of the child wizard franchise. I can’t wait to have kids and show them all eight movies. They’ll ask me questions and I’ll be like, “I don’t know, you’re watching the same movie as me.” I’ll show them Labyrinth and Neverending Story first, but then the eight Harry Potters.

These links will keep your mind occupied.

Billy Mitchell as Colin Farrell (Movieline)

Giant Banana Still At Large (BarstoolSports)

Crossbows And Penis Allergies (HolyTaco)

10 Points For Jake Gyllenhaal (FilmDrunk)

Kate Middleton’s Upskirt Pics (CelebJihad)

When Worlds Collide (Unreality)

Meet The Stars Of The Change Up (MovieFone)

Amanda Seyfriend Hotness (PopEater)

Celebrity Derps (Smosh)

The Craziest Bacon Recipes (Ranker)

The Greatest Athlete Pranks (BroBible)

Jennifer Connelly Hotness (Maxim)

America’s Sweethearts (Pajiba)

The Girls Night In (NextMovie)

Ken Shamrocks Wants To Stab You (CagePotato)

The Hottest Womens World Cup Team (MadeMan)

Cargasm Recreates San Fran (GameFront)

How NOT To Visit Latin America (TuVez)

You get a feeling from this and the previous trailer that the series isn’t being ended because they’re just done making the films, but rather that the series is ending because the entire story has been told. It may seem obvious, but that’s high praise these days when many sequels are churned out with little attention to the arc of the characters.

The Straw Dogs poster demonstrates how angry James Marsden gets when the sexiest vampire from”True Blood” breaks his glasses.

John Carter would like to say hello. Judging by the poster, the producers would like you to call him “JC.” Are there some religious undertones here? Taylor Kitsch, who plays John Carter, has long hair, so the answer is an unqualified “yes.”

Four new Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 posters came out today, and they look pretty much like the other 5,200 posters we’ve seen for the final installment. They might have been taught at Hogwarts how to defeat evil, but it appears the gang was sick the day they taught everyone about respecting other people’s property.

Star Wars taught us that the bad guy always has the re weapon. What is this poster trying to say? Is Harry actually the villain and Voldemort the hero? Should the title have been Voldemort Jones and the Smooshed Nose of Righteousness?

This poster demonstrates that you can be both the leader of all that is evil and also be visibly self-conscious about your appearance.

If this final showdown demonstrated in the this poster and the previous one isn’t set to Michael Jackson‘s “Beat It” then…missed opportunity.

5 photosNew Clip And Photos From ‘Deathly Hallows Pt. 2: The One Where Something Finally Happens’

These 11 action-packed posters feature everyone from Harry Potter, Hermoine and Ron to Voldemort, Snape and Trolly McEarguy. Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, and Ralph Fiennes are all back for this final, magical battle between good and evil. It’s time to get really, really serious about a bunch of kids who fly around on brooms and have silly names.

Potter and pals poof into 3D and 2D theaters July 15, 2011.

Harry Potter is serious business. That’s what I’ve learned from the dramatic new poster above for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, about the boy wizard (Daniel Radcliffe)fighting He-Who-Could-Use-A-Nose. The drama is visible: the dirt and scars on the face, the red dots of intensity magic, and of course, “IT ALL ENDS” in caps, barely able to stay within the poster limits. Is there a Photoshop spell for that? Magic-blasts into theaters July 15, 2011. (/Film)

Alexander Payne‘s The Descendants stars George Clooney as a rich family man whose cheating wife dies, causing him to re-evaluate his life. It opens December 16, 2011. The new poster shows Clooney looking towards the ocean. Is he staring at his daughters, or is he hearing something else? A girl screaming for her life, perhaps… ? (IndieWire)

Shark Night 3D is the follow-up to Snakes On A Plane from director David Ellis. It will feature hot bikini girls, screaming, sharks, and presumably, night scenarios. Sounds good to me. Sara Paxton stars, chomping into theaters September 14, 2011. (IGN)

Sadly, Harry Potter didn’t get the memo and now he’s gotta actually fight this guy. Judging from this new TV spot for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Deux, it’s going to be a hell of a fight. Even dragons are getting in the mix. Smart money’s on Voldemort!!

First up, a new 30 second ad for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2. My opinion is: this conclusion will be epic. I don’t know why I think that. Maybe it’s the epic music, the epic explosion sequences, or maybe it’s the fact that they literally call it “The Epic Conclusion.” Who knows? I do know the last Harry Potter stars Daniel Radcliffe and quidditches into theaters July 15, 2012.

Second, it’s a new TV spot for X-Men: First Class. For some reason, the Fox marketing department hasn’t shown us any trailers, clips, character trailers, stills or set photos for this movie. Oh wait, the opposite of what I just said, times a billion. Here’s a new compilation of clips to excite your latent mutant genes. Starring James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender, X-Men: First Class evolves in theaters June 3, 2012.

Directed by David Yates, it’s the last time Daniel Radcliffe plays Potter before going off and making less interesting movies. Emma Watson and Rupert Grint are back as Potter’s posse of Hermione Granger and Ron “Bonghead” Weasely, along with Ralph Fiennes, Alan Rickman and Helena Bonham Carter.

Judging by the trailer, this could be the darkest, most explodiest of the Potter movies. Oh man, a lot of Harry Potter’s friends have been killed at this point, and Voldemort is not afraid to push that button. On the other hand, Harry Potter isn’t afraid of a little cliff-diving, so I guess good and evil really do balance each other out.

Deathly Hallows Part 2 rides into theaters on a Quidditch-regulation broomstick on July 15, 2011.

The clip below is the film’s opening scene. Harry meets in private with a creepy old man in a cozy little beach house to discuss wands, and the way they feel. Kids, it’s really important that you don’t try to reenact this scene. It can only end badly for you.

I say “POSTER,” you say “yes, please.”

And so on and so on…

Two new posters were released today. One looks like a Wes Anderson poster, and the other looks like a Harry Potter poster.

Enough with the suspense. It’s the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 poster that looks like a Harry Potter poster. A good Harry Potter poster at that. Even the most causal fan can tell that some bad stuff is gonna go down in the final episode. It is reminiscent of an HBO boxing poster, which seems very apt, considering the rivalry between HP and Lord Voldemort. “This time, it’s personal.” Get excited for the finale. Lord knows this guy is.

If that hubbub and lightning and stuff is all too overstimulating for you, then perhaps Terrence Malick‘s Tree of Life will be more up your alley. Since it’s Malick, you know it’s bound to offer slowly-panning, sweeping landscapes. Also, it will have dinosaurs. But not those ritalin-addled Jurassic Park dinosaurs. These dinosaurs will probably lumber slowly, thoughtfully and conflict-free, much like the story to his films. If the Harry Potter poster is speed, then the Malick poster would be purple drank.

Also, it would appear that he hired Wes Anderson to make his poster. And possibly his movie. (Caution: hipster futura font lies below.)

I keep scouring those little photos for Bill Murray, but no dice thus far.

Since that’s the case, get ready to get more worried as you watch Harry face off against He Who Has A Weird Face in this behind the scenes video of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Pt. 2. These are the first clips we’ve seen from the second half of the last chapter in a series of films that have been going on for what feels like forever.

It’s all coming to a magical, fiery end this July in 3D. Join Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Ralph Fiennes and all the Hogwarts wizards as they die miserable deaths. However, the worst death of all is reserved for Harry Po– ah, oh, er… I’ve said too much.

Bonus: Below is a new image from the film. Harry Potter loves bridge-standing. (Collider)

Warner Bros is reportedly furious that Radcliffe is trying to duck out of promotional duties in order to star in the Broadway revival of How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying. The studio has agreed to buy up all the tickets for several nights because the producers refused to release him for the July 7th premiere in London.

“Warner Bros. is furious that Radcliffe committed to Broadway when he should be promoting Harry Potter. This is the final film, so it’s a big deal,” reports the NY Post’s Page Six. Because if there’s one thing Harry Potter needs, it’s more promotion. ::dials random strangers, whispers ‘Harry Potter’, hangs up, repeats::

• Have not read the Harry Potter books and don’t want them spoiled.
• Plan to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, but you don’t want it spoiled.
• Got super pissy about the internet’s hilarious “Snape Killed Dumbledore” spoiler meme.
• Are pregnant, have a heart condition, or a history of eproctophilia.

…you should not read past the picture below of Harry Potter handling another wizard’s wand, cause there are spoilers ahead about a major character’s death.

Spoilers ahead.

You have been warned.

Okay, let’s stop shitting around here. Snape totally bites it in the last movie. He gets killed by Voldemort, who believes Snape’s wand will allow him to kill Harry Potter. In the books, Snape is killed in a place called Shrieking Shack, but they changed his final wizarding place to the Boathouse. Here’s art director Andrew Ackland-Snow on why they diverted from the book:

“We wanted to change a bit where Snape dies. In the book, he dies on the Shrieking Shack, and we wanted to get him out from, not a conventional interior, but from that kind of box, to do it in a more dramatic atmosphere. We asked J.K. if she agreed for that to happen in there, because we hadn’t really seen it before. We made a crystal house, and you can see what happens in the boathouse from there – Are you listening Harry? – but also the school is in flames…and she loved it. Besides, it’s a very romantic place to die. Snape dies in a extremely good way, I gotta say.”

Snape dies. New location. Rowling approved. Consider yourself somewhat spoiled. (HPANA via Screenrant)