^{Bring it on, witches.}

Jeremy Renner recently spoke to Norwegian site Dagsavisen in loud, deliberate speech patterns to explain that he might work for breadcrumbs in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. He also stated that original Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Noomi Rapace, may play his sister and fellow witch hunter for director Tommy Wirkola and producers Adam McKay and Will Ferrell.

There’s no official press release yet, so don’t consider this a lock. It’s about time Renner returned to comedy. He showed such promise in National Lampoon’s Senior Trip. (Twitch)

^{Trespassers will be shot on sight at Bay’s candy mansion.}

We’ve been patiently waiting to see what Adam McKay, Will Ferrell, and Tommy Wirkola have in store with Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. It looks like Michael Bay doesn’t have the kind of patience we do. He’s decided to make his own effects-driven Hansel & Gretel movie in lederhosen-crapping 3D!!

Not much is known about the project besides filming is slated to begin in the Spring of 2011, and that Avatar designer Joseph C. Pepe has been hired to bring the monsters of German mythology to life. Bay is not expected to direct, which is a shame. I’d love to watch set videos of him screaming at chubby German children. Oh well. Maybe there’s hope that he’ll guest-direct an episode of "Two and a Half Men." (Press Release)