Screen Junkies » Halloween http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 19 Dec 2014 17:59:10 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.3 Parents Continue To Torment Their Kids On Halloween, All For Jimmy Kimmel http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/parents-continue-to-torment-their-kids-on-halloween-all-for-jimmy-kimmel/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/parents-continue-to-torment-their-kids-on-halloween-all-for-jimmy-kimmel/#comments Tue, 04 Nov 2014 11:34:25 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=266966 They lied to their kids about eating all their candy. Really nice work, parents.

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If you’re like me, you love lying to/disappointing children. So every year, when Jimmy Kimmel does his annual, “parents lie about eating their kids’ candy and tape it,” I get pretty fired up. Because watching kids cry is funny for those at arm’s length, and one day, it will provide the children something to laugh about with their therapists. Hilarious!

I sort of got the joke when Kimmel first did this, and thought it was pretty funny. However, after a few years, I think it spotlights some truly deranged parents, and Kimmel, though I understand why he’s doing it, is playing a pretty instrumental part in f*cking with the heads of these kids. DOES HE KNOW HOW IMPORTANT CANDY IS TO CHILDREN? There’s nothing more important.

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Ranking the Many, Many Deaths of Michael Myers By Improbability http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/ranking-the-many-many-deaths-of-michael-myers-according-to-improbability/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/ranking-the-many-many-deaths-of-michael-myers-according-to-improbability/#comments Fri, 31 Oct 2014 16:57:50 +0000 Jared Jones http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=266797 It's as if the screenwriters of these movies didn't even take the time to do the proper research before putting pen to paper.

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By Jared Jones

You know, while getting blackout drunk on Evan Williams Apple Orchard Liquor and watching Halloween 4 last night, I noticed something: That Michael Myers feller is hard ta kill! Whether he was being shot, stabbed, run over, shot, stabbed, or shot, Myers never stayed down for long, and boy oh boy was he mad when he got to waking up, I tell you what!

But it was shortly after Halloween 4 ended and Halloween 5 began that the true revelation came: All of the Halloween moves — from the 1978 classic to that one with Busta Rhymes — are riddled with inaccuracies. Contradictions. Plot holes you could drag a corpse through. Whether the creators of franchise are or simply ignorant I do not know, but I do know that the films consistently take absolutely insane liberties when it comes to things like anatomy, Newton’s laws of motion, and the physical limitations of the human body.

How any film franchise as successful as Halloween could be rooted in fraudulent science simply boggles the mind, as does the fact that the film’s rather frequent missteps in logic have gone completely unnoticed by both moviegoing audiences and the so-called “critics” whose job it is to pick movies apart to the most minor detail. But more often than not, the factual inaccuracies of the Halloween series can be traced back to one man: Michael Myers.

Over the course of some seven movies*, Myers meets his maker no less than a couple dozen times, only to inexplicably rise again and seek the blood of some dumb skank who just tripped over a pinecone. It’s utterly confounding, and for the good of horror filmmakers everywhere, nay, humanity, join us as we give the many deaths of Michael Myers the logic beatdown they deserve.

*Remember, neither of Rob Zombie‘s Halloween incarnations ever actually happened and therefore cannot be included.

#10: Multiple Tranq Darts and 2×4 Bludgeoning — Halloween 5

If the independent research I’ve conducted on stray cats and dogs around my neighborhood is anything to go off, a lethal dosage of Telazol (the chemical compound found in most tranquilizer darts) is around 14 mg/kg. While the average human’s tolerance is somewhat higher than that, any animal being that is worth one’s salt can survive up to twice the safe dosage found in the average dart. The Halloween 5 filmmakers obviously researched this as much as I did, and were correct in their belief that having Loomis double-down on his darts would not in fact kill Michael Myers. The same can be said for the bludgeoning that followed, because let’s be honest, Loomis definitely seemed to be holding back on those 2×4 swings.

#9: Injected With Green Goo, Bludgeoned With a Pipe — Halloween 6

I may not know much about chemical compounds (other than those found in tranq darts), but I do know that if it’s a green liquid and it was found in a laboratory, it can probably kill you. The same goes for being repeatedly smashed in the face with a pipe. But not knowing the exact specifications of what green goo was injected into Myers, I can not in good conscience condemn Halloween 6 for failing to abide by good science.

Bonus points go to Rudd’s little angry drop of the pipe at the end there. That some good actorin’.

#8: Wire Hanger in the Eye, Knife in the Chest — Halloween

The average dum-dum’s reaction to this scene is probably something like, “Oh, that’s not so bad I guess. Plenty of people have been stabbed and lived before HURRR DURRR.” And dum-dum is right, people *have* lived through stabbings before. But I can guarantee you that in 99.9% of those cases, the stabbed person did not lie down, take a power nap, and then continue attacking the person who stabbed them. Myers not only loses an eye in this closet confrontation but takes a kitchen knife right in the sternum, and anyone who’s ever played racquetball before knows that breathing, let alone movement of any kind, is nearly impossible after taking a shot to the sternum.

Basically, if the science of this scene was represented by a woman’s photo on Instagram, I would declare it “Pointy elbows 2/10 WOULD NOT BANG.”

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The Entire ‘Halloween’ Series Explained In Two Minutes http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/the-entire-halloween-series-explained-in-two-minutes/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/the-entire-halloween-series-explained-in-two-minutes/#comments Tue, 28 Oct 2014 20:47:20 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=266695 Turns out, not much happens.

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If you don’t have 20+ hours free to watch basic cable this October, you can still enjoy the entire Halloween series thanks to this elevator pitch of the stabby adventures of Michael Myers. Maybe it is best that we do forget Parts 3, 4, 5, and 6.

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NBC.com Offering Free Stencils To Make Your Own ‘SNL’-Themed Jack O’ Lanterns http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/nbc-com-offering-free-stencils-to-make-your-own-snl-themed-jack-o-lanterns/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/nbc-com-offering-free-stencils-to-make-your-own-snl-themed-jack-o-lanterns/#comments Mon, 27 Oct 2014 20:33:27 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=266618 Because you love Stefon and want his likeness on a gourd.

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With Halloween comes the holiday season, home to many crass commercial tie-ins. NBC.com has recognized that trend and said, “Hey! Us too!” For the past few years, we’ve all developed an inferiority complex having seen ridiculously carved pumpkins that show ornate things like The Million Man march, or the Battle of Hastings if all the soldiers were Andy Dick, or whatever.

NBC has decided that good, bad, or otherwise, every pumpkin carver deserves a shot at butchering the likeness SNL characters on a pumpkin.

Right now there are only four, and they’re more recent, but have hope that one day Toonces, Gerald Ford, and myriad Joe Piscopo characters will all make the cut soon enough.

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The Film Cult Presents: Edward Scissorhands http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/the-film-cult-presents-edward-scissorhands/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/the-film-cult-presents-edward-scissorhands/#comments Fri, 04 Apr 2014 17:00:17 +0000 Philip Harris http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=260827 WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD! Edward Scissorhands is definitely flawed. The ending is a predictable Saturday-matinee mob scene. The plot is loosely hung on a frame-work of stock characters and a fairy-tale...

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WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!
Edward Scissorhands is definitely flawed. The ending is a predictable Saturday-matinee mob scene. The plot is loosely hung on a frame-work of stock characters and a fairy-tale premise that started with Beauty and the Beast, probably before. It’s moral could ultimately be summed up as, “be nice to those who are different,” and the middle of the movie is an episodic adventure formula of what Edward can do with his hands to impress his new suburban neighbors. So why do I love this movie so much? Let’s explore why Edward Scissorhands is one of my favorite films of all times, and I don’t mean that lightly, for there are moments within that touch the sublimely heartfelt in a way no other movie can.

First and foremost, Johnny Depp and I should be friends. I think it’s pretty clear we would totally get each other. I mean, we could talk about buying islands, doing drugs with Hunter S. Thompson, what it’s like to live in France. You know, all the normal things. But, what we could really bond over is his first role in a Tim Burton film, Edward Scissorhands. Beating out Robert Downey Jr., Tom Cruise, and even Michael Jackson, Depp was given the part because upon his first time reading the script he wept like a newborn. I feel that, Johnny. I feel that. It’s that emotion that Depp brings to the forefront in his portrayal of Edward, that elementally gentle monster who can’t help but hurt those he loves because his very nature is dangerous.

Second, Winona Ryder as Kim. What better way to ensure chemistry between your lead actors than to have them be a real-life couple. When they look in each other’s eyes, you know it’s real. You can hear them laughing in Depp’s house overlooking the Sunset strip. You can see them walking around Venice, looking for hemp cloth and big rings that will turn their skin black, the fate of their relationship written in the stars above Los Angeles. Winona’s face, framed by that horrible wig, breaks your heart, and even as the grandmother telling her grandchild how the snow began in their neighborhood, you can’t help but fall in love with her.

Third, for being a sentimental movie about love and difference, the social commentary is caustic. The American dream of owning a house, having a cheerleader for a daughter, having barbecues with your friends, watering your lawn on a Sunday afternoon, watching football games with your son—all of that means nothing to Edward. In fact, all of that is as dangerous to him as he is to it. Ambrosia salad is awful, and the suburbs will destroy anything that doesn’t fit into its nauseatingly pastel world. By the end of the movie, when Edward realizes he must return to his mountain-top castle, he begins to literally destroy the neighborhood. As mentioned earlier, the middle of the movie is an episodic chunk of what he can mundanely do with his scissors: shrubs shaped like dinosaurs, asymmetrical haircuts for pet and owner, salad chopper, etc. Throughout all that safe suburban stuff, you’re just waiting for him to really use blades. As the townsfolk begin to swarm, after they’ve decided he’s dangerous, he destroys the wallpaper, vandalizes one of his topiaries, and punctures a stranger’s tire. And in the end, our morbid curiosity is rewarded when we get to see him finally take a life. He learns, even though he wants to so badly, he can never be a part of Kim’s life, and in so realizing, he will take down as much of that life to the best of his ability.

Also, it’s the soft moments, the nuanced yet simple writing (by the gifted screenwriter Caroline Thompson) that gets at the movie’s true heart. Take for instance, the ethics quiz Edward’s surrogate father, played by Alan Arkin, gives him near the plot’s climax. When given the scenario of finding a suitcase full of money, Edward must choose what to do: A, keep it. B, use it to buy gifts for his friends and loved ones. C, give it to the poor. D, give it to the police. When Edward replies that he’d give it to his loved ones, his surrogate mother, played by the heart-warming Diane Weist, sighs and says “Oh, Edward, it does seem that that’s what you should do, but it’s not.” Edward acts from a place of pure love, that debilitating, dangerous love that exists in the wild beyond those suffocating neighborhoods where the right answer is to give the money to the police.

But ultimately, for me anyway, it’s the moments between Edward and The Inventor, played by an aging Vincent Price in his last film role, that make this movie. In scenes with virtually no dialogue, we see The Inventor use his frightening, Gothic machines to make heart-shaped cookies. We see him read humorous poetry to a half-made Edward, instructing him that it’s okay to smile when something is funny. And in the film’s greatest moment, during a Christmas flashback, the great Inventor–the father who “didn’t wake up”–attempts to give his creation and son Edward a pair of real hands. The moment is devastating, and every time I see it, just like Johnny, I weep like a newborn.

Remember when Tim Burton used to make epic fairy tales about true outsiders in fantastical circumstances? Beetlejuice? The Nightmare Before Christmas? Pee Wee’s Big Adventure? Before he started making movies based on product potential, he made movies for us, the weird and nerdy who love like everyone else but hurt just a little more. Edward Scissorhands was the best of those films, and when Edward reached his lethal hand to us, we accepted it, blood and all. Edward Scissorhands is the greatest gift Tim Burton has given to us outsiders. I hope someday he remembers we’re still here.

 

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Does This Baby/Parent ‘Aliens’ Power Loader Costume Win The Blue Ribbon? http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/does-this-babyparent-aliens-power-loader-costume-win-the-blue-ribbon/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/does-this-babyparent-aliens-power-loader-costume-win-the-blue-ribbon/#comments Thu, 01 Nov 2012 05:19:12 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=251802 This baby will kill you with kindness. And its hydraulic arms.

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Yes. Disagree in the comments. (FilmDrunk)

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7 Least Popular Film-Related Halloween Costumes http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-least-popular-film-related-halloween-costumes/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-least-popular-film-related-halloween-costumes/#comments Wed, 31 Oct 2012 19:15:32 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=251788 Be advised.

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There will be no shortage of film and television inspired costumes this Halloween. We can already guess who we’ll see — Bane, Batman, The Avengers, Spider-Man, Katniss Everdeen, and Optimus Prime. However, what are the least popular film-inspired Halloween costumes. Costumes that either no one will understand or both to put the effort into creating. They are these. These are those costumes that nobody would lift a finger to create or acknowledge.

Jeffrey Jones

Not Jeffrey Jones’s character from Ferris Bueller. Not Jeffrey Jones’s character from Beetlejuice. Not even Jeffrey Jones’s character from Stay Tuned. Just Jeffrey Jones the guy.

Toby from Paranormal Activity

We just don’t have the technology to pull off invisible. Yet.

Ang Lee’s Hulk

The Hulk was the breakout star from this summer’s The Avengers and you’ll likely see many green, roided out trick r’ treaters. However, they’ll all have the pouty lips and puppy dog eyes of Mark Ruffalo. It’s very unlikely that you’ll see Ang Lee‘s Hulk out this Halloween. Even at hipster parties.

Captain Barack Sparrow

I’m mad that I just thought this one up. Otherwise, I would have totally made this my costume.

Eugene Levy’s Character from Bringing Down the House

If this were Halloween 2003, maybe. But this is 2012 and after 15 American Pie spin-offs and sequels, America has reached its Eugene Levy saturation point. It’s going to take a heck of a Christopher Guest film to reverse that.

Mac & Me

You might get points for creativity and willingness to think outside of the box, but you are absolutely not getting any ass. Unless you’re already in need of a wheelchair. In which case, very creative!

Anyone From Prometheus

Too soon. Too soon. You’d be better off going as a character from Innocence of Muslims.

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‘Halloween’ With Mike Myers As Michael Myers http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/halloween-with-mike-myers-as-michael-myers/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/halloween-with-mike-myers-as-michael-myers/#comments Fri, 26 Oct 2012 16:56:24 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=251722 Yeah, baby! Yeah!!

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The sequels would be sooooo redundant.

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9 Worst Movie Babysitters Besides Jonah Hill http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-worst-movie-babysitters-besides-jonah-hill/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-worst-movie-babysitters-besides-jonah-hill/#comments Fri, 09 Dec 2011 17:33:47 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=239268 What could possibly go wrong?

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In The Sitter, Jonah Hill stars as a college student on a suspension who is talked into watching his neighbor’s children. The problem is that the kids are monsters (not literally) and he’d much rather be having sex with his girlfriend. So, he takes the little sh*ts to a party in Manhattan where he can knock boots and the kids can get exposed to psychopathic drug dealers and urban music. Do you know what happens next? Hijinks, you guys.

Though he does sound like a pretty irresponsible care-giver, he’s not nearly as bad as the so-called authority figures on this list.

Buck Russell – Uncle Buck

The problem here is that he’s a total lout. He swears, drinks, smokes cigars, drives a death trap, and punches clowns in the face. Though he’s rough around the edges, Uncle Buck’s Buck Russell really does love his nieces and nephew. Having trouble with a teacher at school? He’ll tell her off so harshly it shatters her world. Need to eat a giant pancake? He’s your man. Got some notorious cherry popper trying to get into your pants? He’ll kidnap him and then give him brain damage by beaning him with golf balls. The dude deserved it for wearing that lame beret.

Chet Donnelly – Weird Science

There are probably better candidates for running the household in your absence than a crazed wannabe Marine. Chet Donnelly isn’t just gung-ho and stupid. He’s equally as sadistic. And this is a pretty gung-ho and stupid guy we’re talking about here. When left in charge, he bullies his younger brother, extorts money from him, and even holds a firearm to his head. Dude definitely deserved a set of elephant balls.

Mrs. Baylock – The Omen

You can’t accuse Mrs. Baylock of not caring about the boy she nannies for. If anything, she’s a little too into her job. A devout Satanist, Baylock is the perfect choice to watch over Damien, the son of Satan. These two get along like gangbusters. However, she loses points for killing Damien’s mom and attempting to kill his father. In a field like that, good references are key, so don’t kill your employers.

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Harrison Flockhart http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/actors-directors/harrison-flockhart/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/actors-directors/harrison-flockhart/#comments Tue, 01 Nov 2011 00:03:43 +0000 Screen Junkies http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=234665

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25 Badass Movie And TV Pumpkin Carvings http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/25-badass-movie-and-tv-pumpkin-carvings/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/25-badass-movie-and-tv-pumpkin-carvings/#comments Mon, 31 Oct 2011 17:42:32 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=gallery&p=234383 If your pumpkin carving doesn't feature a famous actor, it's total crap.

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Halloween is here. That means it’s time to spend pain-staking amounts of effort to carve and sculpt loving homages to your favorite movie and television personalities into pumpkins. Then, once your work of art is perfected, lovingly place it on the front porch for the neighborhood kids to smash and ruin. While that might seem like a lot of hard work gone to waste, there’s something cathartic about watching a pumpkin with Oprah‘s picture carved into it getting smashed to oblivion.

Enjoy the Jack-o’-lanterns. Happy Halloween.

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7 Last Minute Movie Halloween Costume Ideas From Screen Junkies http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-last-minute-movie-halloween-costume-ideas-from-screen-junkies/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-last-minute-movie-halloween-costume-ideas-from-screen-junkies/#comments Fri, 28 Oct 2011 19:04:50 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=234180 You can turn everyday items into an awesome movie-themed costume.

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This Halloween, you’re certain to see a lot of Zombie Steve Jobs and Zombie Qaddafi and Zombie Charles Napier costumes out and about.

Why not try something a little different and stand out from the crowd? It can be a lot easier than it seems.

Did time get away from you? No worries! We’ve got your back with a few movie-based costume ideas you make with stuff you find laying around the house.

Shower – The Karate Kid

Using simple items that you find in a standard maintenance closet, you can easily rig this walking shower costume from The Karate Kid. Not only will the girls love it as a secret hook-up location, but the bros will respect the nostalgia factor and refrain from making you the recipient of any beatdowns. This will free you up to grab as many ladies as you like.

Derek Vinyard – American History X

There’s probably no easier costume on this list than Derek Vinyard from American History X. All that you need is a pair of white boxers, some boots, and a willingness to shave your head and mark your skin with some weird shapes from history books. It’s so simple to make, I’m surprised it’s not a more popular costume.

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15 Hottest Monster Babes http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/15-hottest-monster-babes/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/15-hottest-monster-babes/#comments Fri, 28 Oct 2011 15:53:52 +0000 Nicholas Pell http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=gallery&p=234167 I'd hit that...with a shovel...

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For Halloween, we’re serving you a lovely slideshow of 15 of the gnarliest monster ladies to ever appear on the big screen… OK, so a bunch of them are from DTV gems. Whatever. You get our point. If you’ve ever had a wank to any of these ladies, there’s probably something seriously wrong with you. Wait, no. If you’ve ever had a wank to any of these ladies, you’re probably a typical Screen Junkies reader.

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Who Is More Terrifying: Michael Myers or Mike Myers? http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/who-is-more-terrifying-michael-myers-or-mike-myers/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/who-is-more-terrifying-michael-myers-or-mike-myers/#comments Thu, 27 Oct 2011 16:00:15 +0000 Archibald Bayou III http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=233990 Two Myers enter, on Myers leaves.

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There’s been no shortage of cinematic boogymen throughout the years. One of the most feared is Michael Myers, of the Halloween film series. While his history of bloodshed is indisputable, it has occurred to us that comic actor Mike Myers has had a reign of terror that is arguably more horrific. We took a look back at the long careers of both men to answer, once and for all, a question that has haunted us for decades. Who is more terrifying: Michael Myers or Mike Myers?

Origin:

Often the most terrifying thing about a villain is their origin story. Michael Myers began his pattern of serial killings as a six-year-old boy in the quiet town of Haddonfield, Illinois. Mike Myers, however, launched his career from the place we least expected: Canada. I’m numb with fear just thinking about it.

Point: Mike Myers

Body Count:

The easiest way to gauge horror factor is by shear number of kills. Michael Myers has this wrapped up, with an on screen body count dating back to 1978 and nearing triple digits as of 2009‘s Halloween 2 remake. But while he might lack quantity in this department, Mike Myers more than makes up for it in quality. His most famous movie kill occurred when he (off screen) murdered the Sprockets film project in 2000, dashing the hopes of Dieter fans everywhere, and destroying David Hasselhoff‘s plans to install a swimming pool with his Sprocket’s cameo check. The deaths of dozens of fictional babysitters edge this out… barely.

Point: Michael Myers

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31 Creepy Animated GIFs From ‘The Shining’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/31-creepy-animated-gifs-from-the-shining/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/31-creepy-animated-gifs-from-the-shining/#comments Wed, 26 Oct 2011 14:00:00 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=233678 Some of these cannot be unseen.

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With Halloween right around the corner, we’re getting into the creepy spirit…more than usual. What better way to chill your bones than with the moody, violent imagery of a classic horror film… in GIF form?

We’ve assembled 31 animated GIFs from The Shining that are just as creepy as the film itself, if not more. Seriously, Jack Nicholson, you’re freaking me out.

Enjoy!






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Links Away: Muahaha! http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/links-away-muahaha/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/links-away-muahaha/#comments Wed, 26 Oct 2011 01:04:03 +0000 Screen Junkies http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=233819
  Tim Tebows Newest Song (TotalProSports) Hot Babes Named Tiffani (GorillaMask) The Greatest Facial Hair in MMA History (CagePotato) The Wahlberger Reality Show (FilmDrunk) 25 Badass Hoodies (Smosh) Expose on Lindsay Lohans Playboy Shoot (Holytaco) Ashley Tisdale Bikini Hotness (CelebJihad) RIP Leonardo (Unreality) 3 Hotties On The Beach (DoubleViking) The Greatest Speech Ever Made (SocialHype) David Slade Is a Coward (Slashfilm) The Cats Paw Review (31Nights) The Hottest Actresses Who Posed For Playboy (MadeMan) Karissa Shannon Hotness (Ehowa) Meet The Walking Dead Composer (USAToday) 9 Ways The World Might End (MadeMan) Grace Potter Hotness (Maxim) Tim Allen Still Sucks (WarmingGlow) GTA 5! (GameFront) The All New Tejo App! (TuVez) Epic Horror Movie Countown (RottenTomatoes) Epic News Blooper (TheDailyWhat)  

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Tim Tebows Newest Song (TotalProSports)

Hot Babes Named Tiffani (GorillaMask)

The Greatest Facial Hair in MMA History (CagePotato)

The Wahlberger Reality Show (FilmDrunk)

25 Badass Hoodies (Smosh)

Expose on Lindsay Lohans Playboy Shoot (Holytaco)

Ashley Tisdale Bikini Hotness (CelebJihad)

RIP Leonardo (Unreality)

3 Hotties On The Beach (DoubleViking)

The Greatest Speech Ever Made (SocialHype)

David Slade Is a Coward (Slashfilm)

The Cats Paw Review (31Nights)

The Hottest Actresses Who Posed For Playboy (MadeMan)

Karissa Shannon Hotness (Ehowa)

Mee The Walking Dead Composer (USAToday)

9 Ways The World Might End (MadeMan)

Grace Potter Hotness (Maxim)

Tim Allen Still Sucks (WarmingGlow)

GTA 5! (GameFront)

The All New Tejo App! (TuVez)

Epic Horror Movie Countown (RottenTomatoes)

Epic News Blooper (TheDailyWhat)

 

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7 Hasbro Properties Reimagined As Horror Films http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/7-hasbro-properties-reimagined-as-horror-films/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/7-hasbro-properties-reimagined-as-horror-films/#comments Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:43:11 +0000 Noah Griffith http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=gallery&p=233234 It's only a matter of time...

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There are many things that will go down in cinema history.  Citizen Kane, Casablanca, and yes, the epic Hasbro movie deal that now includes Transformers 4 and 5. With the Ouija, Monopoly, and Stretch Armstrong movies in the works, it’s no surprise they’ll soon be scraping the barrel to adapt their other properties.

Seeing how Paranormal Activity 3 was just released today in the heat of the Halloween season, let’s take a look at some other Hasbro properties that could easily be reimagined as horror films.

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9 Awesome Horror Films You Probably Haven’t Seen http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-awesome-horror-films-you-probably-havent-seen/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-awesome-horror-films-you-probably-havent-seen/#comments Thu, 20 Oct 2011 15:24:43 +0000 Archibald Bayou III http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=233111 Stop watching sh*tty horror remakes and check out some forgotten classics.

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Halloween is almost here, and cable is overflowing with horror films, both classic and awful. Despite the abundance of cable channels, some underrated classics fall through the cracks (usually to make room for Friday the 13th Part 17: Jason Is Still a Dick). If you’ve already watched tried and true classics like The Shining and The Evil Dead, here are nine suggestions worth tracking down via Netflix or Amazon, or in rare cases, an actual local video store.

The Other

The 1972 film follows the adventures of two young twin brothers in a depression-era farm town. Niles and Holland Perry recently lost their father, and Holland is acting out, but his pranks become more and more deadly. Beneath everything is a twisted secret that turns the film on its ear. The Other also features a pre-Three’s Company John Ritter in a small role. No Don Knotts, unfortunately.

Prince of Darkness

John Carpenter earned his horror film credibility with the classics Halloween and The Fog, before creating his masterpiece The Thing. The weight of those successes may be why 1987′s Prince of Darkness is often overlooked. The story features a group of academics and a pries fighting evil, and the film covers everything from weird messages from the future to the apocalypse to Satan himself. It can stand proudly with Carpenter’s other horror triumphs.

The Exorcist III

This film really deserved better. Written and directed by William Peter Blatty (who wrote the original Exorcist novel) The Exorcist III is as creepy as all hell. George C. Scott takes over the role of Detective Kinderman from the first film and investigates a string of serial killings, all of which point to a man who was executed more than 15 years earlier. The movie wisely ignores the disastrous Exorcist II, and contains a couple of the scariest moments I’ve ever seen in a movie.

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Hot Girl Halloween Kills Supercut http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/hot-girl-halloween-kills-supercut/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/hot-girl-halloween-kills-supercut/#comments Tue, 11 Oct 2011 00:42:15 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=231933 Horror movies sure do like to kill off young women.

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If you’re anything like me, you enjoy watching beautiful young women being systematically stalked and violently dismembered like they’re nothing more than a piece of beef. Wait a second; I don’t like that at all. But some people must. How else do you explain this supercut of hot girls being snuffed out in slasher films? It’s not like we had a shortage of content to choose from. Sometimes it’s more humorous than scary, and sometimes it’s downright disturbing. But no matter which way you slice it, almost every horror movie has at least one hot girl getting murdered.

Well, if you’re bored with seeing hot chicks getting butchered, it’s time to take matters into your own hands. No, I’m not telling you to start killing women I am, however, telling you to check out Break.com’s Halloween Scare Contest, where you can enter your own scary video for a chance to earn up to $1000. Check out the link above for more details.

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9 Scary-Ass Movie Clowns http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-scary-ass-movie-clowns/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-scary-ass-movie-clowns/#comments Mon, 10 Oct 2011 18:38:54 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=231812 We're tapping into your coulrophobia (and teaching you a new word in the process).

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There’s no better time than Halloween to watch horror films. And the under-appreciated sub-genre in horror, the scary clown film, should not be overlooked when looking for a fright. They’re not all just big shoes and bike horns. Some are maniacal killers eager to rip their victims open. Others are psycho killers, ghosts, or demons who know an ironically scary look when they see it. They’re like the hipsters of the horror world.

I’ve never understood why anyone would be afraid of a clown, but I am sure that the clowns on this list aren’t helping matters.

The Violator - Spawn

As one of the most over-the-top villains in comic books, Spawn’s evil clown The Violator is the devil‘s right-hand demon. Something was lost in the movie translation, however, leaving John Leguizamo to try and carry the entire film with his performance. Alas, there is only so much one actor can do. Danny Devito really dodged a bullet here.

SCARY BECAUSE: The clown transforms into a heart-eating monster.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

The first in a planned series of films, Killer Klowns From Outer Space tells the story of a sleepy little town suddenly overrun by alien blood-drinking clowns. There’s something for everyone in this film. Horror, comedy, gore, and a gigantic Queen clown. How have there not been eleven sequels yet?

SCARY BECAUSE: Could happen.

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‘Ghostbusters’ To Be Re-Released This Halloween To Remind Everyone We Don’t Need Another Sequel http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/ghostbusters-to-be-re-released-this-halloween-to-remind-everyone-we-dont-need-another-sequel/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/ghostbusters-to-be-re-released-this-halloween-to-remind-everyone-we-dont-need-another-sequel/#comments Tue, 13 Sep 2011 18:52:12 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=228247 If you click here, there's an embedded video that for the 'Ghostbusters' theme song. I swear to God.

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While this might not be the confirmation of Ghostbusters III, the sequel that has divided a nation, it’s Ghostbusters news, so that’s something. The original Ghostbusters will be rolling out to theaters this Halloween, because that’s a good enough time as any to get the supernatural comedy back in the theaters.

The re-released version will be digitally enhanced, so take all those memories you have of the original, then make them sharper, crisper, and brighter. That’s what you’re in for.

No release or distribution dates are set yet, so let’s just take the time you would have spent  reading about those and let’s dance to this shit:

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Mini ‘Jersey Shore’ Halloween http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/mini-jersey-shore-halloween/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/mini-jersey-shore-halloween/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Some people weren't meant to be parents.

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Some people weren’t meant to be parents.

Other Junk You Might Like

Jackass 3D‘ Actress Angie Sims

Guess That Ass

40 Beautiful Volleyball Bums

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Robert Pattinson Halloween Mask http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/robert-pattinson-halloween-mask/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/robert-pattinson-halloween-mask/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 And you thought it was scary when it was homicidal maniac Michael Myers. (Crushable) You'll get one piece of candy for each link. Celebrity Karaoke (Moviefone) Man Invites Strangers to Sit On Face to Achieve World Peace (Asylum) Slutty Star Wars Halloween Costumes (Ranker) Moral of the Story: Don't Wear Sandals (HolyTaco) John Milius Explains Apocalypse Now, His Hatred of Hippies (FilmDrunk) Hottest Animal Lovers (Maxim) Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day: Limersa (BarstoolSports) Biker Crashes Headfirst into Wall (EgoTV) The Pajiba Power Rankings (Pajiba) Pokeman is a Young Man's Game (Unreality) Some Spelling Lessons from the Wisconsin Badgers' Fans (TotalProSports) 18 Failed Celebrity Albums (Smosh) Hot Russian Spy Anna Chapman Poses for Maxim (BroBible) Miley Cyrus Gives Angry, Hate-Filled Speech (CelebJihad) Martin Kampmann Thinks Jake Shields is a Boring Fighter (CagePotato) President Obama to Appear on Mythbusters (PopEater) Eva Longoria Rapping (TuVez) Cowboys, Mountain Men, and Grizzly Bears (MadeMan)

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And you thought it was scary when it was homicidal maniac Michael Myers. (Crushable)

You’ll get one piece of candy for each link.

Celebrity Karaoke (Moviefone)

Man Invites Strangers to Sit On Face to Achieve World Peace (Asylum)

Slutty Star Wars Halloween Costumes (Ranker)

Moral of the Story: Don’t Wear Sandals (HolyTaco)

John Milius Explains Apocalypse Now, His Hatred of Hippies (FilmDrunk)

Hottest Animal Lovers (Maxim)

Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day: Limersa (BarstoolSports)

Biker Crashes Headfirst into Wall (EgoTV)

The Pajiba Power Rankings (Pajiba)

Pokeman is a Young Man’s Game (Unreality)

Some Spelling Lessons from the Wisconsin Badgers’ Fans (TotalProSports)

18 Failed Celebrity Albums (Smosh)

Hot Russian Spy Anna Chapman Poses for Maxim (BroBible)

Miley Cyrus Gives Angry, Hate-Filled Speech (CelebJihad)

Martin Kampmann Thinks Jake Shields is a Boring Fighter (CagePotato)

President Obama to Appear on Mythbusters (PopEater)

Eva Longoria Rapping (TuVez)

Cowboys, Mountain Men, and Grizzly Bears (MadeMan)

 

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9 Inappropriate Movie Costumes http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/9-inappropriate-movie-costumes/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/9-inappropriate-movie-costumes/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Halloween is only a few weeks away, which means there’s not much time to nail down a costume. And as the clock winds down, many people will look to Hollywood for inspiration. That being said, does the world really need another moron running around in a Scream mask? Do we really want another group of douche bags dressed up like the guys from The Hangover. I think not. If you’re going to dress up like a movie character, at least do something that hasn’t been done before! Granted, that’s a tall order, considering pretty much everything has been done before. But we here at Screen Junkies are here to help. We came up with this list of characters that, for the most part, have remained an untapped Halloween resource. Sure, they might be a tad “offensive,” but wouldn’t you rather be hated than unoriginal?

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Halloween is only a few weeks away, which means there’s not much time to nail down a costume. And as the clock winds down, many people will look to Hollywood for inspiration. That being said, does the world really need another moron running around in a Scream mask? Do we really want another group of douche bags dressed up like the guys from The Hangover. I think not.

If you’re going to dress up like a movie character, at least do something that hasn’t been done before! Granted, that’s a tall order, considering pretty much everything has been done before. But we here at Screen Junkies are here to help. We came up with this list of characters that, for the most part, have remained an untapped Halloween resource. Sure, they might be a tad “offensive,” but wouldn’t you rather be hated than unoriginal?

Here are 9 inappropriate movie costumes you can use for Halloween…if you dare.

Rocky Dennis – Mask (1985)

Everyone wears a mask on Halloween. But I’ve never seen anyone be the Mask. No, not the shitty Jim Carrey movie. We’re talking about the shitty Eric Stoltz/Cher movie about a young boy with disease called lionitis that causes massive cranial disfiguration (a.k.a. a big, weird face). All you need is a red wig, some face putty, and the willingness to ruin all chances of getting laid that evening. Oh, also, you’ll most certainly be going to hell.

Mr. Yunioshi – Breakfest at Tiffany’s (1961)

If you want to stand out from the crowd this Halloween, why not go as Mr. Yunioshi from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Played by Mickey Rooney, Mr. Yunioshi is one of the most beloved characters in the history of American cinema. Well, it’s beloved by people who like to bitch about racist stereotypes in film, so technically that statement was true. Just buy some black hair dye, think-round glasses, and some false teeth, and you’re set. Don’t forget to squint and roll your R’s! You’ll be the toast on the town. Well, maybe not Chinatown. Then again, Yunioshi is Japanese, so maybe the Chinese would get a laugh out of it.

Christy Brown – My Left Foot (1989)

Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar for his heart-wrenching yet dignified portrayal of Irish author Christy Brown, a victim of cerebral palsy. Something tells me your portrayal this Halloween will not be quite as tactful. No matter. If you can reenact the scene above, you’re sure to be the life of the party.

Andrew Beckett – Philadelphia (1993)

We were hesitant to put this one on the list. No, not because it’s offensive, but because it’s probably been done before. No matter; odds are it will be new to most people. This article will tell you how to make skin lesions. Then all you need is scarf, a coat, and a hat with a ‘P’ on it. If anyone asks you about the sores, be sure and tell them you were hit with a racquetball.

Sam – I Am Sam (2001)

For this costume, the Starbucks outfit will be easy enough to pull off. But that doesn’t really imply you’re Sam, as opposed to just a regular Starbucks employee. How do you convey that you’re supposed to have the IQ of a seven-year old? Maybe you could add a “Christine O’Donnell” support button on the apron lapel. Setting all politics aside, anyone who tells me not to masturbate must be mentally challenged, just like Sam!

Sarah Tobias – The Accused (1988)

The Accused, staring Jodie Foster, contains one of the most disturbing scenes of sexual assault in the history of cinema, which is probably why no one ever uses her character as the basis of a Halloween costume. But beggars can’t be choosers, and you’re begging for a costume. Copy the outfit Jodie is wearing in the picture above, and then walk around all night with a cardboard pinball machine on your back.

Bogs Diamond – The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

People love The Shawshank Redemption. People love prison rape. So this Halloween, why not combine the two and go as America’s favorite fictional prison rapist, Bogs Diamond! Just get an old prison uniform, add some fake blood to the crotch, and carry around a picture of Tim Robbins with a heart around it. Mix it up a bit by adding a wheelchair to the mix, just like Bogs had to use after his vicious beat down. Need a group costume? Add a few more inmates and go as "The Sisters," the gang of prison rapists Bogs lead. Get creative!

Colonel Hans Landa – Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Everyone loves a man in uniform, unless of course it’s a Nazi uniform and the man in question is known as “The Jew Hunter.” But having that giant tobacco pipe is going to look pretty sweet. Plus, if you have a fake swastika scar carved into your forehead, you might just be able to pull it off without offending too many people. Now, if you have a real swastika scar carved into your forehead, that’s a different story. Although I’m sure it’s a hell of a conversation starter. Just ask Charles Manson.

Jakie Rabinowitz (Jack Robin) – The Jazz Singer (1927)

Out of context, Al Jolson’s use of blackface in The Jazz Singer could easily be dismissed as racism. However, the film actually employs the controversial practice in a way that explores ethnic and racial divisions in early 20th century America while at the same time expressing empathy toward blacks. It is also worth noting that Al Jolson was an early champion of equal rights and is credited with introducing the world of African American music to mainstream white audiences. This Halloween, be sure to explain that to the angry black dudes who kick the shit out of you when they see you’re wearing blackface.
 

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11 Celebs in Baby Halloween Costumes http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/11-celebs-in-baby-halloween-costumes/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/11-celebs-in-baby-halloween-costumes/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Halloween is just around the corner, as if you didn't know and... Ah screw it. We don't need to justify this post. I mean, look at them! Gah! Adorable!       

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Halloween is just around the corner, as if you didn’t know and… Ah screw it. We don’t need to justify this post. I mean, look at them! Gah! Adorable! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s Marquee Links

 

A Delicious 80s Cake

 

Phillies Fan Gets Frisky

Pics of Lori C

 

Girls of Facebook

Navi Rawat All Wet

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