Jeffrey Jones

Not Jeffrey Jones’s character from Ferris Bueller. Not Jeffrey Jones’s character from Beetlejuice. Not even Jeffrey Jones’s character from Stay Tuned. Just Jeffrey Jones the guy.

Toby from Paranormal Activity

We just don’t have the technology to pull off invisible. Yet.

Ang Lee’s Hulk

The Hulk was the breakout star from this summer’s The Avengers and you’ll likely see many green, roided out trick r’ treaters. However, they’ll all have the pouty lips and puppy dog eyes of Mark Ruffalo. It’s very unlikely that you’ll see Ang Lee‘s Hulk out this Halloween. Even at hipster parties.

Captain Barack Sparrow

I’m mad that I just thought this one up. Otherwise, I would have totally made this my costume.

Eugene Levy’s Character from Bringing Down the House

If this were Halloween 2003, maybe. But this is 2012 and after 15 American Pie spin-offs and sequels, America has reached its Eugene Levy saturation point. It’s going to take a heck of a Christopher Guest film to reverse that.

Mac & Me

You might get points for creativity and willingness to think outside of the box, but you are absolutely not getting any ass. Unless you’re already in need of a wheelchair. In which case, very creative!

Anyone From Prometheus

Too soon. Too soon. You’d be better off going as a character from Innocence of Muslims.

Though he does sound like a pretty irresponsible care-giver, he’s not nearly as bad as the so-called authority figures on this list.

Buck Russell – Uncle Buck

The problem here is that he’s a total lout. He swears, drinks, smokes cigars, drives a death trap, and punches clowns in the face. Though he’s rough around the edges, Uncle Buck’s Buck Russell really does love his nieces and nephew. Having trouble with a teacher at school? He’ll tell her off so harshly it shatters her world. Need to eat a giant pancake? He’s your man. Got some notorious cherry popper trying to get into your pants? He’ll kidnap him and then give him brain damage by beaning him with golf balls. The dude deserved it for wearing that lame beret.

Chet Donnelly – Weird Science

There are probably better candidates for running the household in your absence than a crazed wannabe Marine. Chet Donnelly isn’t just gung-ho and stupid. He’s equally as sadistic. And this is a pretty gung-ho and stupid guy we’re talking about here. When left in charge, he bullies his younger brother, extorts money from him, and even holds a firearm to his head. Dude definitely deserved a set of elephant balls.

Mrs. Baylock – The Omen

You can’t accuse Mrs. Baylock of not caring about the boy she nannies for. If anything, she’s a little too into her job. A devout Satanist, Baylock is the perfect choice to watch over Damien, the son of Satan. These two get along like gangbusters. However, she loses points for killing Damien’s mom and attempting to kill his father. In a field like that, good references are key, so don’t kill your employers.

Enjoy the Jack-o’-lanterns. Happy Halloween.

Why not try something a little different and stand out from the crowd? It can be a lot easier than it seems.

Did time get away from you? No worries! We’ve got your back with a few movie-based costume ideas you make with stuff you find laying around the house.

Shower – The Karate Kid

Using simple items that you find in a standard maintenance closet, you can easily rig this walking shower costume from The Karate Kid. Not only will the girls love it as a secret hook-up location, but the bros will respect the nostalgia factor and refrain from making you the recipient of any beatdowns. This will free you up to grab as many ladies as you like.

Derek Vinyard – American History X

There’s probably no easier costume on this list than Derek Vinyard from American History X. All that you need is a pair of white boxers, some boots, and a willingness to shave your head and mark your skin with some weird shapes from history books. It’s so simple to make, I’m surprised it’s not a more popular costume.

Origin:

Often the most terrifying thing about a villain is their origin story. Michael Myers began his pattern of serial killings as a six-year-old boy in the quiet town of Haddonfield, Illinois. Mike Myers, however, launched his career from the place we least expected: Canada. I’m numb with fear just thinking about it.

Point: Mike Myers

Body Count:

The easiest way to gauge horror factor is by shear number of kills. Michael Myers has this wrapped up, with an on screen body count dating back to 1978 and nearing triple digits as of 2009‘s Halloween 2 remake. But while he might lack quantity in this department, Mike Myers more than makes up for it in quality. His most famous movie kill occurred when he (off screen) murdered the Sprockets film project in 2000, dashing the hopes of Dieter fans everywhere, and destroying David Hasselhoff‘s plans to install a swimming pool with his Sprocket’s cameo check. The deaths of dozens of fictional babysitters edge this out… barely.

Point: Michael Myers

We’ve assembled 31 animated GIFs from The Shining that are just as creepy as the film itself, if not more. Seriously, Jack Nicholson, you’re freaking me out.

Enjoy!

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Seeing how Paranormal Activity 3 was just released today in the heat of the Halloween season, let’s take a look at some other Hasbro properties that could easily be reimagined as horror films.

The Other

The 1972 film follows the adventures of two young twin brothers in a depression-era farm town. Niles and Holland Perry recently lost their father, and Holland is acting out, but his pranks become more and more deadly. Beneath everything is a twisted secret that turns the film on its ear. The Other also features a pre-Three’s Company John Ritter in a small role. No Don Knotts, unfortunately.

Prince of Darkness

John Carpenter earned his horror film credibility with the classics Halloween and The Fog, before creating his masterpiece The Thing. The weight of those successes may be why 1987′s Prince of Darkness is often overlooked. The story features a group of academics and a pries fighting evil, and the film covers everything from weird messages from the future to the apocalypse to Satan himself. It can stand proudly with Carpenter’s other horror triumphs.

The Exorcist III

This film really deserved better. Written and directed by William Peter Blatty (who wrote the original Exorcist novel) The Exorcist III is as creepy as all hell. George C. Scott takes over the role of Detective Kinderman from the first film and investigates a string of serial killings, all of which point to a man who was executed more than 15 years earlier. The movie wisely ignores the disastrous Exorcist II, and contains a couple of the scariest moments I’ve ever seen in a movie.

Well, if you’re bored with seeing hot chicks getting butchered, it’s time to take matters into your own hands. No, I’m not telling you to start killing women I am, however, telling you to check out Break.com’s Halloween Scare Contest, where you can enter your own scary video for a chance to earn up to $1000. Check out the link above for more details.

I’ve never understood why anyone would be afraid of a clown, but I am sure that the clowns on this list aren’t helping matters.

The Violator - Spawn

As one of the most over-the-top villains in comic books, Spawn’s evil clown The Violator is the devil‘s right-hand demon. Something was lost in the movie translation, however, leaving John Leguizamo to try and carry the entire film with his performance. Alas, there is only so much one actor can do. Danny Devito really dodged a bullet here.

SCARY BECAUSE: The clown transforms into a heart-eating monster.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

The first in a planned series of films, Killer Klowns From Outer Space tells the story of a sleepy little town suddenly overrun by alien blood-drinking clowns. There’s something for everyone in this film. Horror, comedy, gore, and a gigantic Queen clown. How have there not been eleven sequels yet?

SCARY BECAUSE: Could happen.

The re-released version will be digitally enhanced, so take all those memories you have of the original, then make them sharper, crisper, and brighter. That’s what you’re in for.

No release or distribution dates are set yet, so let’s just take the time you would have spent  reading about those and let’s dance to this shit:

Some people weren’t meant to be parents.

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If you’re going to dress up like a movie character, at least do something that hasn’t been done before! Granted, that’s a tall order, considering pretty much everything has been done before. But we here at Screen Junkies are here to help. We came up with this list of characters that, for the most part, have remained an untapped Halloween resource. Sure, they might be a tad “offensive,” but wouldn’t you rather be hated than unoriginal?

Here are 9 inappropriate movie costumes you can use for Halloween…if you dare.

Rocky Dennis – Mask (1985)

Everyone wears a mask on Halloween. But I’ve never seen anyone be the Mask. No, not the shitty Jim Carrey movie. We’re talking about the shitty Eric Stoltz/Cher movie about a young boy with disease called lionitis that causes massive cranial disfiguration (a.k.a. a big, weird face). All you need is a red wig, some face putty, and the willingness to ruin all chances of getting laid that evening. Oh, also, you’ll most certainly be going to hell.

Mr. Yunioshi – Breakfest at Tiffany’s (1961)

If you want to stand out from the crowd this Halloween, why not go as Mr. Yunioshi from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Played by Mickey Rooney, Mr. Yunioshi is one of the most beloved characters in the history of American cinema. Well, it’s beloved by people who like to bitch about racist stereotypes in film, so technically that statement was true. Just buy some black hair dye, think-round glasses, and some false teeth, and you’re set. Don’t forget to squint and roll your R’s! You’ll be the toast on the town. Well, maybe not Chinatown. Then again, Yunioshi is Japanese, so maybe the Chinese would get a laugh out of it.

Christy Brown – My Left Foot (1989)

Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar for his heart-wrenching yet dignified portrayal of Irish author Christy Brown, a victim of cerebral palsy. Something tells me your portrayal this Halloween will not be quite as tactful. No matter. If you can reenact the scene above, you’re sure to be the life of the party.

Andrew Beckett – Philadelphia (1993)

We were hesitant to put this one on the list. No, not because it’s offensive, but because it’s probably been done before. No matter; odds are it will be new to most people. This article will tell you how to make skin lesions. Then all you need is scarf, a coat, and a hat with a ‘P’ on it. If anyone asks you about the sores, be sure and tell them you were hit with a racquetball.

Sam – I Am Sam (2001)

For this costume, the Starbucks outfit will be easy enough to pull off. But that doesn’t really imply you’re Sam, as opposed to just a regular Starbucks employee. How do you convey that you’re supposed to have the IQ of a seven-year old? Maybe you could add a “Christine O’Donnell” support button on the apron lapel. Setting all politics aside, anyone who tells me not to masturbate must be mentally challenged, just like Sam!

Sarah Tobias – The Accused (1988)

The Accused, staring Jodie Foster, contains one of the most disturbing scenes of sexual assault in the history of cinema, which is probably why no one ever uses her character as the basis of a Halloween costume. But beggars can’t be choosers, and you’re begging for a costume. Copy the outfit Jodie is wearing in the picture above, and then walk around all night with a cardboard pinball machine on your back.

Bogs Diamond – The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

People love The Shawshank Redemption. People love prison rape. So this Halloween, why not combine the two and go as America’s favorite fictional prison rapist, Bogs Diamond! Just get an old prison uniform, add some fake blood to the crotch, and carry around a picture of Tim Robbins with a heart around it. Mix it up a bit by adding a wheelchair to the mix, just like Bogs had to use after his vicious beat down. Need a group costume? Add a few more inmates and go as "The Sisters," the gang of prison rapists Bogs lead. Get creative!

Colonel Hans Landa – Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Everyone loves a man in uniform, unless of course it’s a Nazi uniform and the man in question is known as “The Jew Hunter.” But having that giant tobacco pipe is going to look pretty sweet. Plus, if you have a fake swastika scar carved into your forehead, you might just be able to pull it off without offending too many people. Now, if you have a real swastika scar carved into your forehead, that’s a different story. Although I’m sure it’s a hell of a conversation starter. Just ask Charles Manson.

Jakie Rabinowitz (Jack Robin) – The Jazz Singer (1927)

Out of context, Al Jolson’s use of blackface in The Jazz Singer could easily be dismissed as racism. However, the film actually employs the controversial practice in a way that explores ethnic and racial divisions in early 20th century America while at the same time expressing empathy toward blacks. It is also worth noting that Al Jolson was an early champion of equal rights and is credited with introducing the world of African American music to mainstream white audiences. This Halloween, be sure to explain that to the angry black dudes who kick the shit out of you when they see you’re wearing blackface.
 

Halloween is just around the corner, as if you didn’t know and… Ah screw it. We don’t need to justify this post. I mean, look at them! Gah! Adorable! 

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