To help you do just that, there’s this new trailer that details Batman’s journey thus far and previews what challenges await him. Like Matthew Modine firing a machine gun. Doesn’t seem like that would be too challenging in theory, but I’ve learned long ago never to underestimate Matthew Modine. He’s an artist with firearms. **absent-mindedly thumbs scar tissue on shoulder**

“This morning a private plane brought guns wrapped in a parcel from a company to an individual [in Budapest],” said Hungary’s Anti-Terrorism officials. “Guns like these are highly illegal to transport even if they were to used as stage guns, which hopefully they weren’t.”

Officials need to handle this threat more seriously. If those weapons fall into the wrong hands then the undead will easily overtake Budapest and then all of Hungary. The key to defeating the zombie menace lies in preparation. If we all band together as a global army and put our differences aside, we can send those geeks back to their graves. (Us)

It’s the question on everybody’s mind: how many different types of guns were used in the 2007 Dan Fogler comedy Balls of Fury? It’s a question that has baffled fans, movie historians, and expert scientists for quite some time now. Finally, there’s a website brilliant enough to solve the mystery.

Enter the Internet Movie Firearms Database (IMFDB). It’s like the IMDB, only instead of generally useful info on movie casts, release dates and box office info, you have page after page of cataloguing every gun in every scene of every movie and television show (including many screenshots). This level of dedication is truly astounding and praiseworthy, unless the editors of the IMFDB are crazy gun-nuts. In that case, a film database website can be admissible as evidence in court, right?

Oh, and to answer that important question: there are 19 different types of guns in Balls of Fury, including an M4A1 Carbine! Now you know, and knowing is half the… something. I don’t know. (Boing Boing)

Director: Scott Charles Stewart

Cast:Paul Bettany, Maggie Q., Karl Urban, Christopher Plummer, Brad Dourif

Synopsis: A priest disobeys church law to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece.

Release: May 13, 2011

The new red-band trailer for LEGION hit the nets today and it looks like a winner so far.  Paul Bettany stars as a loose-cannon version of Michael the Archangel, who comes down to Earth against God’s wishes in order to ensure the savior of humanity currently incubating in his mother’s womb survives an onslaught of evil demons.  Phew. It’s like the Catholic church rewrote the script for TERMINATOR 2 and managed to keep the badassitude. 

If only the Bible had calculating-ass, glock-wielding angels and demon grandmas dropping F-bombs before tearing off people’s faces, maybe I would have stayed Catholic. Maybe after Monopoly, Candyland and Battleship, a studio can give the Bible a much needed cinematic update (with a cameo from Brendan Fraser and music by Kid Rock, of course.)

Here are your decidedly most unholy links of the day:

_{Ashley Smith Appears To Not Own A Bathing Suit (Gorillamask)}

_{How To Get A Bartender’s Attention (Holytaco)}

_{Neverending Story Van Lady Vs. Filmdrunkards (Filmdrunk)}

_{25 Funny Misspelled Tattoos (Manofest)}

_{Duck Hunter Minus The Classic Game Console (Walyou)}

_{The Worst Book To Film Adaptations Ever (Pajiba)}

_{23 Movie Plots That Could’ve Been Solved In Minutes (Cracked)}

_{Town Hall Internal Memos (Maxim)}

_{Jude Law’s Baby Mama Photo Album (Celebjihad)}

_{The Cost In US Dollars To Fall In Love (Mademan)}

_{Brock Lesnar Ruins Bud Light (Cagepotato)}

_{When Video Game Characters Turn To Acting (Unreality)}

_{How To Properly Torture An Alien (Asylum)}

_{Amanda Is America’s Hottest Community College Student (Bustedcoverage)}

_{The 15 Ugliest Soccer Players In The World (Uncoached)}

_{Rally Car Drivers Vs. Lake (Regretfulmorning)}

_{Zipline Tree Collision Prevents Man From Reproducing (Nothingtoxic)}

_{Ne Ninja Assassin Photos (Filmofilia)}

Bickering, big guns, bikinis, bad weather, and burning the %#@& out of your mouth. Tonight’s TV preview makes use of alliteration!

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

25 MOST MEMORABLE SWIMSUIT MOMENTS
Network: E!
Time: 8-10PM

Reasons to watch: This is the perfect opportunity to bone up on your memorable swimsuit knowledge. I can only think of 20 memorable swimsuit moments so I’m definitely going to tune in. My memory isn’t what it used to be ever since I started drinking gasoline.

THE CORE
Network: FX
Time: 8-11PM

Reasons to watch: An anomaly in the Earth’s core causes deadly electricity storms to attack our most famous monuments. And since we paid a lot of money for those monuments, that behavior isn’t going to be tolerated. Who better to travel to the Earth’s core in a huge drill car and put it in it’s place? Why, a team of sexy scientists of course. Mother Nature, when will you learn that there isn’t a problem you can throw at us that we can’t throw a team of sexy scientists at?

MAN V. FOOD
Network: TRAVEL CHANNEL
Time: 9:30-10PM

Reasons to watch: Adam is given the task of having to eat twelve hot wings soaked in habanero sauce within ten minutes. If the Children International people find out about this food being consumed for sport, they’re going to be REALLY MAD at you guys.

MICHAEL & MICHAEL HAVE ISSUES
Network: COMEDY CENTRAL
Time: 10:30-11PM

Reasons to watch: Michael is upset that Michael isn’t handling his fair share of the workload. Which Michael isn’t working and which Michael is upset? I’m not going to tell you. You’ll have to tune in to find out.

LOCK N’ LOAD WITH R. LEE ERMEY
Network: HISTORY
Time: 11PM-12AM

Reasons to watch: Everyone’s favorite Leatherneck, R. Lee Ermey, has a new show where he shouts things and shoots big, honkin’ guns. If you’re not a fan of loud noises might I suggest you curl up with a warm glass of milk and a copy of Understanding Your Vagina as an alternative? Now in it’s third printing.

WHO’S ON LATE?

LETTERMAN (repeat)
Johnny Depp, Megan Fox

CONAN
Sienna Miller, Steve Schirripa

KIMMEL
Vanessa Hudgens, Eli Roth

FERGUSON
Wolf Blitzer

FALLON
Chris Kattan