Screen Junkies » glenn beck http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 29 Aug 2014 17:39:03 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 5 Possible Premises For Glenn Beck’s New Animated Series http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/5-possible-premises-for-glenn-becks-new-animated-series/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/5-possible-premises-for-glenn-becks-new-animated-series/#comments Tue, 15 Nov 2011 21:35:36 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=236617 No one makes me laugh like Glenn Beck does.

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In case you don’t follow the comings and goings of conservative pundits as closely as I do (and why DON’T you, by the way?) it is my complete pleasure to tell you that Glenn Beck is producing a cartoon for his video website GBTV. As soon as we figure out what GBTV stands for, we’ll update this post. We have a call into his publicist.

All that’s known is that, according to THR, the show will be an “animated comedy series,” co-produced with a firm called Icebox, which was founded by writers who have worked on King of the Hill, 24, and that stalwart of conservative propaganda, The Simpsons.

While the information might be scant at this time, it’s more than enough for us to put together a shortlist of AWESOME premises for a Glenn Beck cartoon. For instance:

5. The Adventures of Hill Billy and His Wife, Shrilly

In this hilarious cartoon, an Arkansas man named Billy simply travels around the world, screwing everything up, like Mr. Magoo, only if Mr. Magoo had a liberal agenda that caused everyone to lose all self-reliance and to line up for government handouts like so many two-bit crackheads. In the second episode, Billy’s ineptitude would get him kidnapped and an elite squad of anti-terrorism experts headed by Black Ops specialist Ronald Dumsfeld frees him, all the while preservin the American way of life.

Hill Billy celebrates by eating a chicken leg, farting, and raising everyone’s taxes.

4. Profilin’ Pete and His Good Time Gang of TSA Employees

This cartoon would largely take place in the realm of an airport security checkpoint. It would be a feel-good show about the men and women that keep us safe from the threats presented by nail clippers and baby formula. There wouldn’t be a premise per se, but the show would incorporate the following aspects:

  • Six plus-sized employees in extremely tight polyester pants
  • One young man who looks WAY too young to in charge of anyone’s safety
  • A never-ending string of hapless travelers who all claim to be “racing to make their flight.” (The fine print on your ticket says get here two hours early, MORON!)
  • Bernadette, the evil queen of snow globe-confiscation
  • A plotline that insists you can’t be uncomfortable if the person is using the back of their hands to probe your ass crack
  • And an undeveloped character whose catch phrase will be, “If you’re not able to prove to me that that’s your diabetes medicine, you’re going to need to dispose of it before you pass through”

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Fox News Gives Glenn Beck Something New To Cry About http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/fox-news-gives-glenn-beck-something-new-to-cry-about/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/fox-news-gives-glenn-beck-something-new-to-cry-about/#comments Thu, 07 Apr 2011 03:25:17 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Video&p=205839 Glenn Beck is gonna have to go back to the conspiracy drawing board, because his Fox News show is coming to an end. Who's behind all this? NPR? The Obama Administration?

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Glenn Beck is gonna have to go back to the conspiracy drawing board, because his Fox News show is coming to an end. Who’s behind all this? NPR? The Obama Administration? We may never know.

Fox News struck a deal with Beck to bring an end to his 5 pm show, which was regularly the third highest rated show in cable news. At one point, his ratings were much higher, but the numbers have continuously been dropping, and creeped out advertisers have been pulling their sponsorships, which explains all the crying. Here’s a joint statement Fox News and Beck’s production company Mercury Radio Arts released on what he’ll do next:

“[We] will work together to develop and produce a variety of television projects for air on the Fox News Channel as well as content for other platforms including Fox News’ digital properties.”

So get excited for a bunch of crazy Glenn Beck soundboard iPhone apps. “Shut up, 9/11 victims,” “The President’s racist,” ”O-L-I-G-A-R-H-Y.” Coming soon.

Beck announced the end of days on his show in the above clip. He compares himself to American her Paul Revere and claims he “avoids confrontation” and doesn’t like conflict. Yup, that all checks out. (TheWrap)

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9 Possible Shows For Glenn Beck’s New Cable Network http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/9-possible-shows-for-glenn-becks-new-cable-network/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/9-possible-shows-for-glenn-becks-new-cable-network/#comments Thu, 24 Mar 2011 00:23:07 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=203298 Running a network takes a lot of work, and more importantly, a lot of original programing. Here are nine possible shows that will get the ball rolling.

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Right-wing talkshow host Glenn Beck is considering leaving Fox News and setting up his own cable network. Much like Oprah Winfrey’s OWN, Beck’s network would feature personalities and programing hand picked by the man himself. But running a network takes a lot of work, and more importantly, a lot of original programing. Here are nine possible shows that will get the ball rolling.

Mexican Cooking with Tom Tancredo

Rep. Tom Tancredo shows you how to prepare authentic Mexican dishes made with real Mexicans.

The Right Answer

A “Jeopardy” styled game show in which your success depends on giving the answer that Glenn Beck believes to be right, regardless of whether it is actually correct.

America’s Next Top Ankle-Length Denim Skirt Model

Modern Family Minus the Queers and the Mexican Chick

A new twist on a recent favorite, this version offers all the laughter of ABC’s show, without all the uncomfortable homosexuality and crazy accents.

Extreme Homo Makeover

This inspirational reality show offers free homosexual conversion therapy to needy families.

CJCLDS: Miami

This drama follows the fast-paced world of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Miami Bureau.

Shoot for the Stars: with Ted Nugent

In this “Apprentice”-styled show, washed-up celebrities are hunted for sport by right-wing rocker, Ted Nuggent.

The Real Housewives of Tempe

A camera crew follows five housewives in Tempe, AZ, as they spend their days shopping at Walmart and chain smoking at a nearby Indian casino.

You Beck Your Life

GITMO prisoners are forced to play Russian Roulette for the amusement on the master of ceremonies, Glenn Beck.

Special Thanks to Penn Collins

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