‘The Joneses’ Actress Amber Heard
Wednesday, April 14 by

Amber Heard has experience playing the "naughty hot chick" and the "nice hot chick." She starred in All The Boys Love Mandy Lane," which no one had a chance to see, and The Informers, which is worse than bamboo chutes in the peehole.A word from Amber: "I love to cook. When I'm away I miss my pots and pans and my spices."Then giiiiit in the kitchen, woman! Sorry, I had to take that one. Feel free to flick off the screen.More spicy pics of Amber after the jump.

’90210′ Actress Lori Loughlin
Tuesday, April 13 by

Lori Loughlin, or better known as Aunt Becky, captured our hearts as Uncle Jesse's main squeeze on "Full House." She also appeared in Old Dogs alongside Jon Travolta recently, which I don't condone, but everyone does one for the money now and again. Like that entire cast.   A word from Laurie: "You have to make difficult choices in your life, and you just have to be happy with them."Like what I shall have for dinner tonight. Do I go with the country breaded chicken or lemon pepper fish frozen meal. Ahhhhh, decisions make me angry!These pics of Lori after the jump will calm my nerves…

‘Dancing With The Stars’ Contestant Nicole Scherzinger
Monday, April 12 by

Nicole Scherzinger is the Queen Pussycat of The Pussycat Dolls. She tried to go solo, but it seems she's only a success when surrounded by the rest of her pussies. A word from Nicole: "I'm a beast of a woman who loves Jeff." Now I'm a shadow of a man who hates Jeff. He always ruins everything…Check out more pics of the beast Nicole after the jump.

‘Date Night’ Actress Taraji P. Henson
Friday, April 9 by

Taraji P. Henson is best known for her role as pregnant prostitute Shug in Craig Brewer's Hustle & Flow and the foster mother of the gross Brad Pitt baby/old man in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. For the latter, she was nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Personally, I found the hooker role more compelling.A word from Taraji: "Tyler Perry's method is very hard core, very in your face, not tiptoeing around."Does he do this all while dressed as Madea? If so, I can understand why you'd take him so seriously. More of Taraji in your face after the jump.

‘The Vampire Diaries’ Actress Kayla Ewell
Thursday, April 8 by

Kayla Ewell is known for her roles as Caitlin Ramirez on the long-running soap opera "The Bold and the Beautiful," and Maureen Sampson on "Freaks and Geeks." If you work for a living you're probably not aware of the former. If you like awesome television you should know the latter.  A word from Kayla: "I’m OK with blood, but walking around and talking on your cell phone with a giant gash in your neck—I’m going to have to get used to that."I don't think you ever really get used to that. You just bleed out. Check out a very much intact Kayla after the jump.

‘Date Night’ Actress Olivia Munn
Wednesday, April 7 by

Olivia Munn has, pretty much, all but conquered the small screen, co-hosting "Attack of the Show!", as well as modeling for many magazines, including Playboy (though she did keep her clothes on. Boo!!!), Maxim, and Men's Health. You can see her on the big screen in Date Night this weekend and in Iron Man 2 this May. A word from Olivia: "I love banana cream meringue pie!"I'm going to assume that's a sex position, and don't anyone DARE try to convince me otherwise. More pics of Olivia after the jumps, sans pie.

‘Date Night’ Actress Katie Gill
Tuesday, April 6 by

Even though Katie Gill is fairly new to the acting game, she's been on all three "CSIs". That's a lot of hip procedural drama and Who music to have on one person's resume. A word from Katie: "CSI: NY is my favorite."You picked Sinise over Caruso?! For shaaaame. I bet Caruso would have something clever to say about this, but I have neither the time nor the patience to come up with it.Take off your sunglasses to check out the pics after the jump.

‘The Last Song’ Actress Melissa Ordway
Monday, April 5 by

Melissa Ordway modeled in various campaigns including Sketchers, Old Navy, and David's Bridal and has acted in 17 Again and on the television series "Privileged." She also looks good half-naked on the beach during sunset.   A word from Melissa: "She expresses her hurt through being very mean and vengeful to Ronnie." I'm sure Ronnie deserved it. He always makes fun of the slow kid who works at the grocery store. No, I don't care if we're talking about the same Ronnie. More pics of Melissa after the jump.

‘Clash of the Titans’ Actress Alexa Davalos
Friday, April 2 by

Alexa Davalos is a ballerina who decided to try acting on for size, and it's turned out pretty well for her. She's starred in the films The Chronicles of Riddick, The Mist, and Defiance. Take it easy, Whedon fans! I was getting to her three episode arc on Angel. A word from Alexa: "I would never close any doors to anything and if it were a character that I loved regardless, I would definitely give it thought but that is my first love, film."Yeah, who goes to the theater anymore besides nerds. And yes, intellectuals count as totaly nerds to me.More of Alexa's free spirit after the jump.

‘Clash of the Titans’ Actress Izabella Miko
Thursday, April 1 by

Izabella Miko grew up in Warsaw, where she studied to be a ballerina. An American choreographer invited her to study in New York City on a scholarship, and she traveled there with her mother on her 15th birthday. Then she danced on top of a bar in Coyote Ugly. Talk about a step back…A word from Izabella: "It always makes me sick when I see hundreds of plastic bottles in huge trash bins."I'll get some bums over there right away, Ms. Miko. We'll take care of your recycling, no problem.More pics of eco-conscious Izabella after the jump.

‘The Last Song’ Actress Kelly Preston
Wednesday, March 31 by

Kelly Preston, a.k.a. Mrs. Jon Travolta, first caught my attention when she was banging Tom Cruise's brains out against a bookcase in Jerry Maguire. Then later she clocked him smack in the mouth and my heart went aflutter. Is a Scientologist allowed to strike another Scientologist, even if it's make-believe? On second thought, I guess make-believe is a huge part of their beliefs. A word from Kelly: "I got caught playing doctor in my grandma's garage, but, you know, it was very minor, just like sticking things in the heinie." What was minor to you could have been a turning point in your patient's life. Check out more pics of Dr. Preston after the jump.

‘Parenthood’ Actress Monica Potter
Tuesday, March 30 by

Monica Potter is that actress who kinda looks like Julia Roberts. She was Nic Cage's wife in Con Air and Robin Williams' girlfriend in Patch Adams. After having a fictitious relationship with those two hop heads, being married to Peter Krause on Parenthood must be a relief. A word from Monica: "People figure because I'm blonde and was a model, I just waltzed into Los Angeles and got major roles in major films." That's ridiculous. No one "waltzes" anymore. You most likely strutted into L.A. and got major roles in major films. People are idiots. Check out more pics of the blond model after the jump.

‘Gossip Girl’ Actress Leighton Meester
Monday, March 29 by

Leighton Meester plays a bad teen on TV's Gossip Girl, but in real life she's just your average prudish twenty-something. At least that's what all the quotes from her say. This seems perfectly believable if you forget that she has a sex tape. A word from Leighton: "When you move from Florida to New York, you're in for a big shock." I know, right?! You can get a pastrami sandwich any time of the night! But other than that they're almost exactly the same. See more of how innocent Leighton is after the jump.

‘Hot Tub Time Machine’ Actress Collette Wolfe
Thursday, March 25 by

Collette Wolfe was studying sociology in North Carolina when she got a role in The Foot Fist Way. She married the film's director Jody Hill, starred in his next movie Observe and Report, and now she's on her way to comedy stardom. She's got the whole dumb, blond bimbo thing down pat in Hot Tub Time Machine.  A word from Collette:  "I remember breastfeeding. My mom may have had a perm during said breastfeeding."Your mom sounds like a hip breastfeeder. High five!See why breast milk does a body good after the jump.

‘Hot Tub Time Machine’ Actress Lyndsy Fonseca
Wednesday, March 24 by

For someone who's only 23, Lyndsy Fonseca has accomplished a ton. She started out as a model, moved to soap operas, booked roles on primetime TV, and now is starring in Hot Tub Time Machine and Kick-Ass. If she wasn't so hot I might be irked that she spells her name with two "Ys." You're SOOOO clever, Lyndsy's parents.  A word from Lyndsy: "There is no such thing as bad publicity." Oh yeah? I bet being seen on my arm wouldn't do you any favors. Unless people assume you're doing charity work. Ouch, I just hurt my own feelings… There's nothing bad about the pics after the jump.

‘Hot Tub Time Machine’ Actress Diora Baird
Monday, March 22 by

Diora Baird's friends call her Dee Dee, as in 32DD, and yes, they are real. She's the girl in Wedding Crashers that makes Owen Wilson realize he needs to quit sticking his d*ck in everything. Question: How in holy hell could Diora make you realize that?! A word from Diora: "I learned very quickly that if a producer wants to have dinner with me, he wants to f*ck me." It's a shame you're such a narrow-minded woman. What if he just wants to enjoy the company of an extremely busty, gorgeous female companion who–I can't finish that with a straight face. Find out why producers want to f*ck Diora after the jump.

‘Repo Men’ Actress Carice van Houten
Friday, March 19 by

Carice van Houten is a Dutch stage and film actress. She looks great both with and without clothes in Paul Verhoeven's Black Book. It's clear that Verhoeven appreciates a stellar rack, and Carice is no exception. Don't worry, I think she's a fine actress, too. I'm not a COMPLETE pig. A word from Carice: "I have seen Hollywood, and although I have nothing against it, it's not my kind of life."You're clearly not doing enough illegal subtances when you're in town. The glitz and glamour become a lot more appealing with some booger sugar up in ya. Appreciate the Dutch more after the jump.

‘Repo Men’ Actress Alice Braga
Thursday, March 18 by

Alice Braga first came to America's attention when she starred as sexy, tan Angelica in City of God. She then went on to fight CGI zombie things with Will Smith in I Am Legend. I'd take Brazilian drug dealers over poorly rendered CGI villains any day.   A word from Alice: "I love my country, but I'm not very Brazilian at all." Yeah, you're right. Your butt could be bigger. More pics of Alice's Brazilian form after the jump.

‘Greenberg’ Actress Brie Larson
Wednesday, March 17 by

Brie Larson sings some songs that I think tweens listen to while sipping virgin pina coladas, but you may better recognize her as the angsty daughter on The United States of Tara. Her character is a bratty teen who I want to slap in the mouth and send to her room. Then I silently stifle the quiver of excitement that rushes down my spine.A word from Brie: "I feel so much better just being comfortable with myself and hopefully girls will accept that."Quit letting your publicist whisper jibber jabber in your ear and just inject those toxins in your face already.Brie is all natural (so far) after the jump.

‘Greenberg’ Actress Juno Temple
Tuesday, March 16 by

Juno Temple is a British actress who's done a lot of British stuff, including Atonement, Notes on a Scandel, and probably Jude Law. What?! She's legal and he's Jude Law.  A word from Juno: "I think it’s one of the worst things you can do… take away a child’s innocence." Uggghhh, you're layin' it on kinda thick. I think Jude gets it. He's not going to change. More not so innocent pics after the jump.

‘Diary of a Wimpy Kid’ Actress Rachael Harris
Monday, March 15 by

Rachael Harris has made guest appearances in a ton of TV shows, including "Reno 911" and "The Sarah Silverman Program." She also played Ed Helms' bitchy wife in The Hangover. She's funny, cute, and has a sexy librarian thing going on when she wears glasses. A word from Rachael: "Maybe because I’m an improviser and I was ready for anything that he was going to bring."And she rolls with the punches. What more could you ask for? I'm pretending she's talking about gettin' freaky, and not acting.More sexy librarian pics of Rachael after the jump.

‘Remember Me’ Actress Meghan Markle
Friday, March 12 by

Meghan Markle was case #24 on Deal or No Deal. She's been on 90210, Fringe, and CSI:NY, but I'm sure nothing compares to holding a metal briefcase for Howie Mandel. A word from Meghan: "I was case #24 on Deal or No Deal."That kind of experience can get you hostess work at Bennigans. More winning pics of Meghan after the jump.

‘Remember Me’ Actress Emilie De Ravin
Thursday, March 11 by

Emilie de Ravin is best known for her role as Claire on Lost, and saying "Chawwwliee" in a really annoying tone of voice. She's a sexy Aussie though, so she gets more slack from me than I usually reserve for people who yell words strangly.A word from Emilie: "If you are lucky enough to find the right friends and places to hang out on, there are fantastic pockets in L.A."Especially at the corner of Hollywood and Vine. The hookers are extremely cordial.You're lucky enough to get more pics after the jump.

‘She’s Out Of My League’ Actress Jasika Nicole
Wednesday, March 10 by

Jasika Nicole plays the lab assistant to Joshua Jackson's batshit crazy father in the FOX television show Fringe. She is also an illustrator and has created an autobiographical online comic called "High Yella Magic." I'm unaware if centers around tripping the light fantastic.  A word from Jasika: "It's been almost three years since I learned how to ride the subways without getting lost or getting stuck in the closing doors." Awww, you poor, poor dear. When that started happening to Grandma my Pa sent her off to a farm. I'm pretty sure that means he shot her. Respect Jasika for her body AND her mind after the jump.

‘She’s Out Of My League’ Actress Lindsay Sloane
Tuesday, March 9 by

Lindsay Sloane was Maid of Honor at the wedding of Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. QUITE the accomplishment I might say. She also made an appearance on Entourage, but nothing tops standing next to Gellar as she made the mistake of marrying Fred from The Scooby Doo Movie.A word from Lindsay: "I am so incredibly hot."Whoa, pump the brakes. Clearly you're more attractive than me, but Alice Eve makes everyone else look like Alexis Dziena. More definitely worthwhile pics of Lindsay after the jump.

‘She’s Out Of My League’ Actress Alice Eve
Monday, March 8 by

Alice Eve is my new favorite thing on the planet. That's right, I like her even more than dogs dressed up as bananas. Alice is getting her first starring role as the 10 in She's Out Of My League, but you may also know her from a little film called Crossing Over. I'm not saying you've seen the film, I'm just saying you've Googled the words "Alice Eve Crossing Over." A word from Alice: "There is an acting gene that has been passed down to me by my parents. It's nature, not nurture" There are a couple of other traits that must have been passed down as well. A couple of fine, fine traits. Check out more of Alice's good genes after the jump.

‘Brooklyn’s Finest’ Actress Ellen Barkin
Friday, March 5 by

Ellen Barkin is one foxy older woman. The squinty-eyed blond is best known for rollin' around in the sheets with Pacino in Sea of Love, but some of you younger folks might recognize her from Ocean's Thirteen. Did someone just yell MILF? Pipe down. A word from Ellen: "What the hell was I thinking? Marry a rich guy? Was I crazy?"Completely insane. Put your arms in to this straight jacket and come with me. More MILF after the jump.

‘Brooklyn’s Finest’ Actress Shannon Kane
Thursday, March 4 by

Shannon Kane is best known for playing Natalia Fowler on the soap All My Children. If you don't watch daytime television because you're too busy contributing to society or looking for a job (touching yourself), then you're probably not aware of her. Look, ain't she pretty?!   A word from Shannon: "I'm currently in flirtation with fellow rookie cop, Brot." Lalala, I can't hear you! I'm too busy working for a living! Shut up, it IS work! Don't drown out the pics after the jump.

‘Scrubs’ Actress Nicky Whelan
Wednesday, March 3 by

Nicky Whelan is an Australian-born actress/goddess. What do they put in the water over in Australia? All of their hot, talented natives are taking over Hollywood, and rightly so. Isn't that supposed to be an island full of convicts? If so, I'd gladly swing on down and drop the soap in the shower. A word from Nicky: "I'm a good girl when I'm at work."Well work's only nine hours of the day, yaknowwhatI'msayin'?More pics of Nicky being bad after the jump.

‘Brooklyn’s Finest’ Actress Stella Maeve
Tuesday, March 2 by

Stella Maeve has had small roles in several TV shows, but now she's making her way in to movies. You can catch her in Brooklyn's Finest this Friday, and soon as Sandy West in The Runaways. I think we'll all take pleasure in watching her star rise.   A word from Stella: "Eating organic is one of the best things a person can do for themselves." Uh oh, fellas, we've got a hippie in our midst. Get out your microwavable meals and canned goods. We're going to make her love preservatives if it kills us. More fresh pics of Stella after the jump.