‘BANDSLAM’ ACTRESS ALYSON MICHALKA
Wednesday, August 12 by

Not since the release of the latest Harry Potter movie have we really had to worry about oogling girls that may in fact be underage.  Then Bandslam came into our sphere of thought.  This features more "wait a second, are they 18?" babes than you can shake a stick at.  Since Vanessa Hudgens is proving to be a shameless photo hooker without our help, we felt it would be best to point you towards Alyson Michalka, the legal babe that somehow manages to not have nude pics of her turn up on the internet every six months.  Prior to Bandslam, Alyson's big acting job was on the Disney Channel series "Phil of the Future," but she also happens to be a platinum-selling recording artist with Aly & AJ, a band she started with her younger sister.  Plus, when she was 10, she won a Christmas card competition with Hallmark.  So, before she was legal, she accomplished more than 80% of the people reading this have as adults.A word from Alyson: "I'm always the crazy one at parties who will do silly stuff! I've eaten like five lemon wedges and then I had to drink a cup of sugar!"See, Vanessa Hudgens?  That should be the crazy stuff you do, not drink five lemon-lime Smirnoff Ices and decide to take photos of yourself in your birthday suit!  You work for Disney, for goodness sake!  Check out wholesomely hot photos of Alyson after the jump.

‘THE GOODS’ ACTRESS NOUREEN DEWULF
Tuesday, August 11 by

Another hot actress from The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard?  Crap, I already used a "she's got 'the goods'" joke yesterday with Jordana Spiro. Gotta think of another title-pertinent description for Noureen Dewulf… Oh, I got it: Noureen Dewulf is no "hard sell."  Goodness, that's brilliant.  The young actress first started gaining attention in the Oscar-winning short film West Bank Story.  Since then, she's had a steady stream of work that includes both film and TV, including The Ghosts Of Girlfriend's Past, Oceans 13, and "Chuck."  Did I mention she's gotten all these jobs in about a two-year span?  At this rate, expect Noureen to be huge in another two.A word from Noureen: "I think the most important thing women look for in men is a level of comfort in your life, if you're nerdy, be nerdy, if you're cool and super talkative, be that. I'm attracted to people who are comfortable with themselves and are proud to be that way."Maybe I shouldn't have written out that inner monologue about me struggling for a joke; that wasn't confident at all.  I blew what little chances I had with her already.  Oh well, check out more hot photos of Noureen after the jump! 

‘Weeds’ Actress Elizabeth Perkins
Tuesday, August 4 by

Weeds has a variety of incredibly attractive women on it, but in comparison to other shows, it has the milf market cornered.  Much is said about Mary-Louise Parker, but the unsung hot mom of the show is Elizabeth Perkins.  Playing Celia Hodes, she nails the "raging bitch" role down pat, almost too well.  It makes us hope her character experiences a softening-up that occurs as a result of her new relationship with an oddly juvenile co-worker, preferrably played by Tom Hanks.  That, or we could all just watch Big again.  Either way, she's still hot.A word from Elizabeth: "My sisters are very academically inclined so whenever they would fix me up, it would always be from someone in their world, people they would find attractive. When they came to the door in suits, it was over."Luckily, most of our readership don't own suits, so it seems like we have a shot!  Check out more hot photos of Elizabeth after the jump!

‘G.I. JOE: RISE OF COBRA’ ACTRESS KAROLINA KURKOVA
Monday, August 3 by

Unlike Michael Bay, who hires models for every non-matronly female part in his films, Stephen Somers only hires models to play models in his upcoming G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra.  The drop-dead gorgeous Karolina Kurkova will be playing the aptly nicknamed "Cover Girl," a former professional model who decided that runways and eating disorders were boring, and that blowing sh*t up in the army would be much more au courant.  A word from Karolina: "Mother Nature made me the way I am, and I should be happy."Most men would high five Mother Nature's palms red for creating Karolina. Check out the photos of Karolina after the jump and turn your palms red! From all the clapping, of course. 

Jessi Klein from ‘Michael and Michael Have Issues’
Wednesday, July 29 by

I understand that there's a natural skepiticism when one is informed of a both funny and hot woman; theoretically, the two cannot exist together, as it defies all common logic.  But make no mistake: Jessi Klein is both hot and funny.  She's been doing standup and clip shows for quite some time, and is now not only writing, but acting as the show-within-a-show's producer, Marla, on "Michael And Michael Have Issues."  Meanwhile, I'm still trying to hire a team of scientists  that will tell me how she is biologically possible. A word from Jessi: "When I meet a guy for the first time, I have no problem with his eyes wandering south for a second to check out my rack—that’s when I steal a glance at the little slip of landscape peeking out from the collar of his shirt. Is it heavily forested, gently grassy, or just a desert-like stretch of flesh, with nary a hair in sight to provide shade?" What a very fair way to handle that situation.  Check out some classy (meaning with clothing, because she respects herself) photos and some of Jessi's standup routine after the jump!

‘THE COLLECTOR’ ACTRESS ANDREA ROTH
Monday, July 27 by

Turns out Madeline Zima was only the tip of the ice berg that is hot women in the new horror-heist thriller The Collector.  Today, we direct your attention to the lovely Andrea Roth.  She's been a TV and film star for quite some time, most recently in a recurring role on the edgy (meaning it's on basic cable and they actually say "sh*t!") drama "Rescue Me." A word from Andrea: "When they were casting, Denis [Leary] was very specific  that he didn't want any actors from L.A., and I was living in L.A. at the time."Yet she still got the part.  Can you blame Denis Leary though?  He would have been stupid not to cast her.  Check out more hot photos of Andrea after the jump!

‘WATCH BABES, WIN WATCHMEN ON BLU-RAY’ CONTEST HAS A WINNER!
Wednesday, July 22 by

CONGRATULATIONS TO RYAN F. OF DENTON, TEXAS!YOU WON WATCHMEN DIRECTOR'S CUT ON BLU-RAY!  Your eyes must have been bleeding and you probably never want to look at another woman for at least a week, but Ryan, your perseverance and can-do attitude led you to discovering the golden ticket.  Fate took care of the rest, and now you have a copy of Zack Snyder's opus headed to Denton!Thank you to everyone who played along.  THis contest was a rousing success, so we'll likely be doing more like it in the future.  Winning FTW!THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED, BUT YOU MAY STILL CLICK AROUND ON THE IMAGES AFTER THE JUMP!

‘FUNNY PEOPLE’ ACTRESS AUBREY PLAZA
Monday, July 20 by

Judd Apatow has a knack for finding women that manage to be very funny and incredibly hot at the same time for his movies.  For Funny People, he has found Aubrey Plaza, and up and coming actress and comedian who plays Seth Rogen's love interest in the film.  She also stars on the small screen in NBC's Parks and Recreation.  As a small side note, her Sarah Silverman impression is dead on.A word from Aubrey: "Wilmington is pretty small. There wasn't a ton to do there, but it definitely made me more creative because I had to kind of find my own thing to do, which is why I started making weird, funny videos."So growing up in a small and boring town is the secret to creating a hot and funny personality… Very interesting.  Check out more photos of Aubrey after the jump!

HOT CAVEWOMEN: A PHOTO GALLERY
Wednesday, July 1 by

In honor of Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs opening this weekend, we decided to feature a picture gallery of sexy cavewomen wearing skimpy loincloths.  You might interject, "ScreenJunkies, despite what the Flinstones depicts, humans weren't around during the time of the dinosaurs!" to which we'd respond – and haughtily, we might add – "Would you rather see a gallery of wooly mammoth ass?"   Above: Queen Latifah telling us to "Talk to the trunk."If you answered "yes" then you're into Furries and should be reading Holy Taco.  If you answered "no" then get get ready for some B.C. T&A. 

‘PUBLIC ENEMIES’ ACTRESS MARION COTILLARD
Monday, June 29 by

Where You've Seen Her: The très, trés French starlet Marion Cotillard doesn't have a ton of American flicks under her ceinture just yet, but she's already won a Best Actress Oscar for her performance as chanteuse Edith Piaf in 2007's La Vie En Rose.  In Public Enemies, she plays Billie Frechette, John Dillinger's (Johnny Depp) lady friend.  Look for her in The Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan's upcoming mega-budgeted sci-fi Inception, where she'll be one of the more reasonably priced special effects.   A Word From Marion: My parents always told me that if you want something, you can do whatever you have to do to get it. As long as it's not against someone else. Check out the hot photos of Marion "Fair Play" Cotillard after the jump:

10 Hottest Female Newscasters
Monday, June 29 by

There are times in recent years when I am not sure if I am watching the News or "Access Hollywood."  The reporting is as equally superficial and shallow for both nowadays.  Nancy O'Dell should be a news correspondent for FOX, CNN, or MSNBC; she looks the part and can clearly read a teleprompter as good as the other "women journalists" at these corporate news channels. Which one is Nancy O’Dell from "Access Hollywood" and which one is a "serious journalist?" I have no idea, either.

Dancing With the Stars’ Karina Smirnoff
Friday, May 15 by

                 Today's Dancing girl is Ukrainian Karina Smirnoff, who joined "Dancing with the Stars" in Season 3, and has… stayed on the show ever since. (If you've been following this series of galleries, you may have picked up on a trend.)  The closest Karina ever came to winning was in her inaugural season, during which she partnered with Greg Louganis impersonator Mario Lopez.   This season, she'd been cutting a rug with Apple founder Steve Wozniak, but was sadly eliminated  in the fourth round when she got lost in the rug that is Wozniak's beard. Pointless Quote: "I just kept smiling, but it hurt."Check out the photos of Karina after the jump, or these other Dancing with the Stars Chicks: Cheryl Burke, Julianna Hough, Kym Johnson

Dancing With the Stars’ Julianne Hough
Thursday, May 14 by

Today's dancing girl is Julianne Hough, a Utah native who came to "Dancing with the Stars" in Season 4 and promptly won that season's competish with her partner, Olympian Apollo Anton Ono.  In Season 5, she partnered with Helio Castroneves and did the double, becoming the shows' only other back-to-back winner besides Cheryl Burke.  She's also a Country music recording artist with a Mormon background, which might explain why she's using the American flag to conceal herself from heathen eyes in the photo above.  Or she's just the sexiest patriot alive.  Move over, Tom Brady. Random Quote: "Oh I wish you could love yourself, the way that I do." – From her song, "Love Yourself" off her self-titled debut.CHECK OUT THE PHOTOS OF JULIANNE AFTER THE JUMP, or these other Dancing with the Stars Chicks: Cheryl Burke, Kym Johnson, Karina Smirnoff

Dancing With the Stars’ Kym Johnson
Wednesday, May 13 by

Today's dancing girl is Kym Johnson, who came to "Dancing with the Stars" in Season 3, and has been with the show ever since.  The Aussie has never won, but has twice come in as first runner up with partners Joey Fatone and Warren "QBK" Sapp.  She was partnered this season with comedian David Alan Grier, whose Comedy Central show "Chocolate News" unfortunately had a shorter run than one of his and Kym's Paso Dobles.  Random Quote: "I'm not the least bit high-maintenance." Check out the photos of Kym after the jump, or these other Dancing with the Stars Chicks: Cheryl Burke, Julianna Hough, Karina Smirnoff

Dancing With the Stars’ Cheryl Burke
Tuesday, May 12 by

Well, a ton of TV shows are about to cool it for the summer, but Screenjunkies wanted to heat things back up a little, so this week, we're honoring our favorite dancing girls from this season of ABC's "Dancing with the Stars." Today's girl is Cheryl Burke, came to "Dancing with the Stars" in Season 2, and has never left, becoming the show's first two-time champ with partners Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith (in Seasons 2 and 3, respectively). Random Quote: "I want kids or women out there to realize you don't have to be anorexic to be beautiful. There's a lot of pressure living this Hollywood life."Let this be a lesson to everyone.  You don't have to have an eating disorder.  You just need to dance non-stop. Check out the photos Cheryl after the jump or these other Dancing with the Stars Chicks: Kym Johnson, Julianna Hough, Karina Smirnoff