• Dan Aykroyd announces a desire to make a third Ghostbusters film, but can’t do so without the consent of Harold Ramis, Ivan Reitman, and Bill Murray.
• Bill Murray refuses to give consent.
• That same sequence of events happens 27 more times over a two year period.

I’m sad to report that Aykroyd has decided to move on and make the unnecessary sequel without Murray. What did you do, Ray?! WHAT DID YOU DO?

“I can tell you he won’t be involved. … It’s sad but we‘re passing it on to a new generation. Ghostbusters 3 can be a successful movie without Bill. My preference would be to have him involved but at this point he doesn’t seem to be coming and we have to move on. It’s time to make the third one.”

This decision is clearly driven by greed. That’s why I recommend we pool our money and pay Aykroyd off. I’ll send a Kickstarter link shortly. (Metro)

How do you make one of the year’s greatest films even better? Simple! Remove any words that might offend fat middle-age housewives. At least that’s what Harvey Weinstein has in mind. The producer hopes to release an edited version of The King’s Speech in order to secure a PG-13 rating and (hopefully) a larger showing at the box office. Personally, I don’t hear a lot of kids between the ages of 13 and 16 clamoring to see films about early 20th Century British royalty, so I don’t really understand why it needs a PG-13 rating. Then again, I sleep on an old air mattress, and Harvey sleeps on a bed made of gold bricks and delicious lox, so I’m assuming he knows a little more than I do when it comes to making a profitable movie.

It’s easy to see why people (specifically, Tom Hooper, the film’s director) are worried about this move. Anyone who’s ever seen a film dubbed for television knows what this type of editing can do, and it’s not pretty. Case in point, the following nine examples!

Ghostbusters

Ghostbusters is a great film, but we can’t have it ruined by such foul language. What’s a good word to replace “dickless?” I know: “Wally Wick!” It’s perfect! In the immortal words of Tim and Eric, “Great Job.”

Scarface

If someone is willing to sit through Scarface, a movie about a psychotic Cuban gangster, why in hell would they give a flying f*ck about hearing the word “f*ck.” They probably don’t. But the sponsors do, which is the same reason I just used a “*” instead of typing out the whole word.

The Usual Suspects

“Give me the keys, you dirty c*ck sucker” vs. “Give me the keys, you fairy godmother.” Personally, I find the second phrase more offensive. At least “c*ck sucker” doesn’t imply I’m female. “Fairy godmother” does. I’m all man, god damn it!

Casino

This is another film that I simply can’t believe they bothered to dub. The whole movie is curse words and violence. Seeing the dubbed version is like watching the no-sex porn parodies, except a lot less funny.

Snakes on a Plane

This dub job is a joke, but then again, this whole movie was a joke, so I really don’t see the harm.

Die Hard 2

The “yippie kai yay” part sounds familiar, but who the hell is Mr. Falcon? If they’d been committed to the dub, they would have at least dubbed “Falcon” over the bad guy’s name earlier in the film.

Pulp Fiction

You take the curse words out of this film, and it really loses its luster. But when you take the brutal man-on-man forced sodomy away, it completely loses its soul. For shame, Bravo. For shame.

The Departed

I’m not sure what’s more annoying: the dub job, or the forced Irish accents. Just kidding! It’s obviously the Irish accents.

The Big Lewbowski

This is one example where watching the dubbed version might actually be funnier than the original. And if kids happen to be watching, they’ll learn a valuable lesson about not finding a stranger in the Alps.

While those two work things out, we have this video from sketch group Chubby Skinny Kids to tide us over. It presupposes what the next generation of ‘Busters might be like. The youth today have no respect for the dead. (Funny Or Die)

I’ve fallen victim to so many Ghostbusters III rumors that I’m becoming a tad jaded. But hey, this latest claim has a date involved, so it must be legit.

There’s some intriguing intel from the usually reliable Production Weekly this morning though: they’re suggesting that Ghostbusters 3 has a start date."We’re hearing that Sony Pictures is planning to put Ivan Reitman‘s Ghostbusters 3 into production in May 2011" tweets the tweet.

The nice thing about Twitter is that at least when someone uses it to lie they are forced to do so in 140 characters or less. But honestly, Sony needs to shi poop or get off the pot so Dan Aykroyd can move on to Blue Brothers 3D. (Empire Online)

Writers Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg have turned in their draft of Ghostbusters 3, and it’s in Dan Aykroyd‘s hands now. That’s either a good thing or a bad thing depending on whether or not you saw and enjoyed Year One or Blue Brothers 2000. Aykroyd’s jazzed about it though. He told Vanity Fair:

"I’m working on the script now and those two – Stupnitsky and Eisenberg – wrote Bill the comic role of a lifetime, and the new Ghostbusters and the old are all well represented in it… we have a strong first draft that Harold and I will take back, and I’m very excited about working on it."

He then got into the changes we can expect to see with his character if this thing ever gets a greenlight:

"Now my character’s eyesight is shot, I got a bad knee, a gad hip – I can’t drive that caddy anymore or lift that Psychotron Accelerator anymore, it’s too heavy. We need young legs, new minds – new Ghostbusters; so I’m in essence passing the torch to the new regime, and you know what? That’s totally okay with me."

Totally okay as long as this new regime doesn’t try to touch his script.

I’m speculating here, but one thing I can tell you guys with 100% confidence is that a trusted source of mine recently was accosted in a bar by someone who claimed to have just worked on a shoot for Ghostbusters 3 in the Windy City. 

Apparently the scene involved an actress being "slimed," and that was all they got out before coming to their senses about what’s probably sensitive information.

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that I think we’ll be seeing a teaser trailer of some sort for Ghostbusters 3 at this year’s Comic-Con.  The timing is right.  There were rumors it would start shooting this Fall anyway.  Come late July, don’t be surprised about reports from giddy bloggers, journalists and fans recounting their experience of a brand new on-screen, live-action sliming leading into Ray Parker Jr.’s iconic ’80s theme. 

We can dream, can’t we?  To hold you over until this hypothetical event, check out the trailer for Ghostbuster starring Ernie Hudson after the jump.

Director: Dunno.  Supposed to be be Harold Ramis.

Cast: Dunno.  (But supposed to be the original cast)

Synopsis: Dunno.