• Dan Aykroyd announces a desire to make a third Ghostbusters film, but can’t do so without the consent of Harold Ramis, Ivan Reitman, and Bill Murray.
• Bill Murray refuses to give consent.
• That same sequence of events happens 27 more times over a two year period.

I’m sad to report that Aykroyd has decided to move on and make the unnecessary sequel without Murray. What did you do, Ray?! WHAT DID YOU DO?

“I can tell you he won’t be involved. … It’s sad but we‘re passing it on to a new generation. Ghostbusters 3 can be a successful movie without Bill. My preference would be to have him involved but at this point he doesn’t seem to be coming and we have to move on. It’s time to make the third one.”

This decision is clearly driven by greed. That’s why I recommend we pool our money and pay Aykroyd off. I’ll send a Kickstarter link shortly. (Metro)

In his blind efforts to get a third Ghostbusters made no matter what, he’s now talking about recasting hold-out Bill Murray. He’s now suggesting they bring in “a different actor, a la Jack Ryan” to step into the role of Peter Venkman.

Umm, that’s cuckoo-crazy-nuts. Sure, when I was growing up every kid wanted to be Peter Venkman, but I don’t think putting another actor in such an iconic role is the way to go with this. That role is Bill Murray, and it’s going to be tough to find an actor willing to impersonate him for an hour-and-a-half. But money talks, and that issue could be easily ironed out.

I’m not saying I want to see it happen, but if you were to hold a gun to my head these would be my picks for the replacement Peter Venkman.

Paul Rudd

Over the last few years, Paul Rudd has been carving out a nice niche for himself as the new face of sarcastic charm in comedy. His performance is Role Models has quite a few echos of Murray and he’d be the actor with the easiest transition into the role. However, there are problems with this plan. First, are producers really going to want to age up Paul Rudd? All of our wives and girlfriends like him just the way he is. They don’t want to see him all wrinkly. Unless he’s just getting out of the bath.

Kevin Kline

He’s been keeping a pretty low profile since Wild, Wild West killed all memories of him being funny, but please remember that Kevin Kline is pretty funny! Plus, he’s in pretty good with his Dave and No Strings Attached director Ivan Reitman. The issue here is that Kevin Kline is Kevin Kline, which is all well and good, but he’s not Bill Murray. And Bill Murray is Peter Venkman. There’s no easy replacement.

Computers

Except computers. Computers could easily render a digital Bill Murray and make him do all kinds of things he doesn’t want to do. Ghostbusters 3? Check. Another Charlie’s Angels film? Check. Wild Things Part 7? Get to work, nerds. We have a likable actor’s dignity to ruin.

1. Superman Returns

Time Away: 19 Years

This 2006 sequel was meant to return the original superhero franchise to greatness-instead in buried the series so dee the Man of Steel requires a total restart, due in 2013. What went wrong? The first film made you believe a man could fly, the second upped the ante with a superhuman fistfight…and in Superman Returns? Superman saved a plane. And stopped a bank robbery, I think. Too much talk, an unneeded super-kid and yet another appearance by Lex Luthor sunk this promising film at the script stage.

2. Escape From L.A.

Time Away: 15 Years

John Carpenter‘s 1996 sequel to his urban classic isn’t really a bad movie. The problem is that most fans had seen it already in 1981…when it was called Escape From New York. Story, side characters, jokes and even the climax are all recycled beat for beat from the original. Fans were ready to see a new Snake Plissken adventure, they just didn’t want to pay to see the same adventure they already owned on VHS (It was the 90′s, don’t judge me!).

3 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Time Away: 19 Years

Harrison Ford teased a fourth Indiana Jones outing for years…and he should have kept teasing, because what we got were aliens and Shia Labeouf. The film starts out well enough, but suffers from a weak antagonist, the bizarre use of aliens instead of the mystical, and a second half that moves slower than Willie Scott in a death trap (I’m not proud of that line). But it does bring back Karen Allen, and who isn’t cheered up when Karen Allen is around?

Sgt. Bilko

This 1996 comedy is an update of the 1950′s television series The Phil Silvers Show, in which Silvers played the cunning sergeant. Steve Martin steps into that role for this iteration with Dan Aykroyd playing his easily-duped superior, Colonel Hall. Though not entirely a bad movie, it’s mostly a vehicle to have Steve Martin wiggle around on rubber legs while Aykroyd shouts and looks flummoxed.

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In an interview on the Dennis Miller Radio Show, Aykroyd had this to say about the project and Murray’s possible involvement:

“Yes, we will be doing the movie and hopefully with Mr. Murray.That is our hope. We have an excellent script. What we have to remember is that ‘Ghostbusters‘ is bigger than any one component, although Billy was absolutely the lead and contributive to it in a massive way, as was the director and Harold [Ramis], myself and Sigourney [Weaver]. The concept is much larger than any individual role and the promise of ‘Ghostbusters 3‘ is that we get to hand the equipment and the franchise down to new blood.”

So will bustin’ make Bill Murray feel good? It’s unclear, as Murray’s pursuits aren’t exactly easy to foresee. Without his involvement, the film would have to incorporate the “old guard/new guard” premise, because I have a very difficult time believing that millions of people want to see a sequel starring only Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, and Ernie Hudson.

Yuck. No thank you.

I once heard that Murray didn’t like the current script for Ghostbusters 3, but that internet rumor has now been busted by Venkman himself. According to his recent interview with Howard Stern, Murray hasn’t even read the thing. Awesome. Here’s what Carl Spackler himself said:

STERN: Is it true that there is a Ghostbusters 3 and you’re the problem. You will not sign off on this? Do you know about this?

MURRAY: Yeah, I guess I’m the problem. Before I was an asset and now I’m the problem. There’s a script somewhere over there. Over there there’s a script and I haven’t read it yet.

STERN: So you’re never going to read it.

QUIVERS: So you have no interest.

MURRAY: Well, I’ll get to it. I gotta get to it. I feel badly. I got a message. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but it’s not the foremost thing in my mind right now, so I don’t think about it. You know what, the studio gets excited about it every 10 years or so or it seems like, and they read it. Because what they’d really like to do is recreate the franchise, you know? I remember once upon a time it was going to be, “And the new Ghostbusters will be Chris Rock, Chris Farley and Chris Crane or Kris Kringle.” Or someone. They had it together.

STERN: Is that a threat to you? In other words, do they try to threaten you by saying, “We’re going to put together a new Ghostbusters, and therefore you guys will have to go do it?”

MURRAY: It’s not a threat. It’s sort of businesslike. They’d like to keep it going. I mean, it’s still an amazing … there’s still kids today that watch this movie. They still sell a lot of toys and everything.

Maybe if Ivan Reitman stepped down and they let Wes Anderson direct it instead, we’d finally see Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis slap on some proton packs again. The angles would be arty, and awkward moments would be plentiful, but at least ghost busting could begin anew.

Of course, reading over his interview, I can’t help but agree with him. Do we really need another Ghostbusters movie? Ghostbusters 2 was not good, even though 7-year-old me would vehemently disagree, so why are we so excited about a third? If I’m going to give a movie studio my money, I’d like to have my childhood come out not shit on. Especially if it’s shit on by Ashton Kutcher.

So I’ll go with Murray on this one. He’ll read it when he wants to read it, and sign on if he thinks it’s good. You don’t get to be as cool as Murray without pissing off a few salivating businessmen. (AICN)

The horrifying rumor came to light during promotion of Kutcher’s latest romantic comedy No Strings Attached, which was also directed by Reitman (sigh). During a press junket interview, Reitman was asked about whether there would be a sequel to the universally beloved Ghostbusters 2, and whether it would be possible that Kutcher (who was sitting next to Reitman at the time) could have a role in the movie. After implying that Bill Murray is dragging his feet on the project, Reitman replied by saying his casting was “absolutely possible.” OK, so maybe he was just being polite. Reitman would have done the same for Rick Moranis. (via The AV Club)

Every other element of the film looks to be falling into place, as the script by “Office” writers Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky (with revisions by Ivan Reitman and Dan Aykroyd) has been completed, and the other primary cast members, including Harold Ramis and Aykroyd himself, have all signed on. Sony is not even balking at the proposed 150 million dollar budget, so Murray appears to be the linchpin in this. Perhaps if Wes Anderson was handling directing duties, Murray’d be a little more comfortable. Maybe Ivan Reitman can promise him at least 4 Kinks songs on the soundtrack to sweeten the deal. (The Playlist)

“We have a really good script, but Bill Murray has to read it. He hasn’t read it. There has been all kinds of chatter online about him reading it and not liking it. He has not read a thing. He’s never read anything. And I just sent it to him. So we’ll see. God knows how long that will take. But we’ll see.”

I, for one, hope that Murray decides to quit dicking around in Karaoke bars and read the damn thing. It’s not that I’m dying to see another sequel (part two still leaves a bad taste in my mouth). But I am sick to death of writing about it. Shit or get off the pot, Venkman. (Coming Soon via Empire)

While those two work things out, we have this video from sketch group Chubby Skinny Kids to tide us over. It presupposes what the next generation of ‘Busters might be like. The youth today have no respect for the dead. (Funny Or Die)

Writers Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg have turned in their draft of Ghostbusters 3, and it’s in Dan Aykroyd‘s hands now. That’s either a good thing or a bad thing depending on whether or not you saw and enjoyed Year One or Blue Brothers 2000. Aykroyd’s jazzed about it though. He told Vanity Fair:

"I’m working on the script now and those two – Stupnitsky and Eisenberg – wrote Bill the comic role of a lifetime, and the new Ghostbusters and the old are all well represented in it… we have a strong first draft that Harold and I will take back, and I’m very excited about working on it."

He then got into the changes we can expect to see with his character if this thing ever gets a greenlight:

"Now my character’s eyesight is shot, I got a bad knee, a gad hip – I can’t drive that caddy anymore or lift that Psychotron Accelerator anymore, it’s too heavy. We need young legs, new minds – new Ghostbusters; so I’m in essence passing the torch to the new regime, and you know what? That’s totally okay with me."

Totally okay as long as this new regime doesn’t try to touch his script.

The road to Ghostbusters 3 has been a turbulent one. We’ve heard rumors for awhile about a sequel that would catch up with the paranormalists in the modern day, and serve as a passing of the torch to an Apatowized cast. Luckily, one brave man has stood in the way, refusing to allow our childhoods to miscarry in unnecessary 3D. God bless you, Bill Murray.

Now Michael Cera in fighting the good fight. He tells USA Today:

"Ghostbusters is the most influential movie of my childhood," he says. "And I would not want to be the reason that Ghostbusters was all of a sudden bad."

Looks like we’ll have to depend on Jesse Eisenberg for that.

Finally, something tangible to report about Ghostbusters that doesn’t involve Bill Murray’s menstrual cycle.

Rather than waiting around for Ghostbusters 3 like the rest of us saps, the fine folks at Improv Everywhere decided to take matters into their own hands by producing a version of Ghostbusters Live.

The funnymen who had originally made a splash with their Best Buy sales prank which featured over eighty participants, pulled off quite the stunt with only seven able bodied comedians recently at the main branch of the New York Public Library and every spook filled second has been caught on camera for your enjoyment!

I never thought that performance art could be so relevant. It’s really inspired me to get my own flash mob version of Downfall off the ground. And if those people at the ADL don’t like it they can go to hell. They never understood my art. (DreadCentral)

See Ghostbusters Live after the jump.

No one is really sure what the deal is with Ghostbusters 3. If you listen to Ivan Reitman, Dan Aykroyd, or Harold Ramis, it’s moving ahead. If you listen to Bill Murray, it’s his nightmare and he wants nothing to do with it. The only thing we know for certain is Reitman is attached to direct. But now comes word that Columbia Pictures wants a younger director on the project (ie: somebody who didn’t direct My Super Ex-Girlfriend). From Vulture:

"Reitman’s old contract still gives him exceptional creative control over the series, including director approval. Therefore, while it’s true that Reitman can’t force Columbia to make Ghostbusters 3 with him, he can make it nearly impossible for the studio to make the film without him."

"In fact, a source tells" [Vulture] "that Reitman and all three original principals (Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, and Harold Ramis … sorry, Ernie Hudson!) have a deal that says that if any of the four of them don’t like any element of a new Ghostbusters, they can singlehandedly veto and kill the project; it has to be unanimously approved before going forward."

Personally, I think it’s unlikely we’ll ever see another Ghostbusters movie and I’m okay with that. The original two were a great film and an okay sequel that shouldn’t exist outside of the 1980′s, and the thought of a new generation of Ghostbusters sounds completely lame. The last thing we need to see is the cast of She’s Out of My League strapping on proton packs.

Our friends over at Heeb Magazine snagged a nice little interview with director Harold Ramis, and they got some info out of him regarding the progress of Ghostbusters 3:

We’ll introduce some new young Ghostbusters, and all the old guys will be in it, too. Think Christopher Lloyd in Back to the Future … GB3 is progressing with plans to shoot next summer and release in 2011 … Oh, and I have two one-of-a-kind Ghostbuster yarmulkes sent by fans.

Screw the news about the movie, Ramis has Ghostbuster yarmulkes! I’ll be the envy of all my temple..

There have been a lot of rumors lately regarding the development of the latest Ghostbusters film, so let’s just hope Ramis isn’t talking a big game. I want to see all the people in the top picture do the same dance, but each carrying at least 50 more pounds now.

Check out the rest of the interview with Harold Ramis here.

I’m speculating here, but one thing I can tell you guys with 100% confidence is that a trusted source of mine recently was accosted in a bar by someone who claimed to have just worked on a shoot for Ghostbusters 3 in the Windy City. 

Apparently the scene involved an actress being "slimed," and that was all they got out before coming to their senses about what’s probably sensitive information.

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that I think we’ll be seeing a teaser trailer of some sort for Ghostbusters 3 at this year’s Comic-Con.  The timing is right.  There were rumors it would start shooting this Fall anyway.  Come late July, don’t be surprised about reports from giddy bloggers, journalists and fans recounting their experience of a brand new on-screen, live-action sliming leading into Ray Parker Jr.’s iconic ’80s theme. 

We can dream, can’t we?  To hold you over until this hypothetical event, check out the trailer for Ghostbuster starring Ernie Hudson after the jump.

Director: Dunno.  Supposed to be be Harold Ramis.

Cast: Dunno.  (But supposed to be the original cast)

Synopsis: Dunno.