Despite a syndication run that began in 1960 and a circulation of over 1,500 newspapers across the United States, Family Circus hasn’t made the jump to the big screen like so many of its contemporaries. For better or worse. No, I really mean that. I wasn’t referencing the comic For Better Or Worse. Just keep reading.

Garfield

Garfield is arguably the most famous comic strip ever created. Jim Davis’s strip took popular culture by storm with several books, toys, suction cup thingies, and cartoons. In 2004, a Garfield movie opened in theaters featuring a mix of live action and CGI. However, quality did not enter the mix. I tried to watch it on a dare. Probably made it eight minutes, and I want those minutes back.

Popeye

Robert Altman poured nightmare sauce on many a childhood when he adapted Popeye for the big screen in 1980. This strange translation stars Robin Williams as the sailorman and Shelly Duvall as his anorexic lady love. Though critics were split in their reviews of the film, it works so much better as a trippy, French art-house picture than it does a comedy.

Flash Gordon

Flash Gordon was a dud at the box office but is still considered a science fiction classic. The lead, Sam J. Jones, is rumored to have had a falling out with the director and producer and walked from the project before the completion of post-production. His voice was later replaced by an unnamed voice actor. Wow. Even the voice actor didn’t want to be associated with it.

Horror screenwriter E.L. Katz sold Zombie Pet Shop to The Animation Picture Company, to be made as a 3D (aka ManditoryVision) feature animated cartoon. You may not know The Animation Picture Company from such recent Garfield direct-to-DVD movies as: Garfield Gets Real, Garfield Fun Fest, Garfield Pet Force and Garfield Dicks Around In CG Because People Will Buy Any DVD With Garfield On The Cover. Here’s the plot of their upcoming film:

A mysterious plague [sweeps] through a mall pet shop, turning all of the animals into zombies. An ordinary pug named Joey must come to the rescue to find the antidote that will save his four-legged friends, as well as the humans that might take them home.

Okay, but will Garfield make a cameo as a fat, undead smart-ass cat with a hunger for lasagna a la brains? That’s what I wanna know: news about Garfield’s potential involvement.

Oh man. If it wasn’t for that Dead Island trailer, I’d tell you to put the Zombie genre down already. (Dread Central)