The question that springs to my mind is “how many of these are real?” I’m guessing under 10%, this being the movie business and all. That one from Full Metal Jacket looked like it really hurt, though.

Side note: I watched the video on mute accompanied by DJ Shadow’s “Giving Up the Ghost,” and it fits pretty well. Try it!

Use these links to psych you up for the talk.

Buy Your Own Space Shuttle (Asylum)

Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher (BarstoolSports)

And Now He’s Fired: Gerald Harris (CagePotato)

Seven Celebrity TSA Body Scans (HolyTaco)

Finish Killer Santa Claus Loves Severed Pig Heads (FilmDrunk)

Jake Gyllenhaal, Anne Hathaway Talk Nude Scenes (MovieFone)

7 Movie Franchises Get Disney-Fied (NextMovie)

Chris Brown Finally Done Being Persecuted (CelebJihad)

Hoth On Earth (Unreality)

Fine Ladies With Food (Maxim)

Festive Face-Off: A Brief History of Thanksgiving (MadeMan)

10 Thanksgiving Guests We’re Least Thankful to See (Smosh)

Like Father Like Son: Marcus Jordan Slams One Home (TotalProSports)

The Boomerang Ball (TuVez)

Somehow, Someone Has Made Russel Brand Adorable (Pajiba)

Angelina Jolie Boycotts Thanksgiving (PopEater)

Top Eight Pro Athletes Convicted of Murder (Ranker)

I’m not 100% certain that this isn’t Jared Leto. Skip to the end to see the final product. (VideoGum)

_{Best Hockey Movies (Moviefone)}

_{Pee Wee’s Big Apple Adventure (Asylum)}

_{10 Most Adorable Cartoon Drug Addicts (Ranker)}

_{25 More Hilarious Jesus Pics (HolyTaco)}

_{Insane Clown Posse Reveal Christian Faith (FilmDrunk)}

_{Hot Jenn Sterger Pics (Maxim)}

_{Drunk Lady Gets Straightened Out By Police (BarStoolSports)}

_{Costumed Women of NYC Comic-Con (EgoTV)}

_{10 Hottest UK Redheads (Pajiba)}

_{Hot Celebrity Halloween Costumes (Unreality)}

_{30 Athletes Grabbing Their Junk (TotalProSports)}

_{7 Dating Websites We’d Like to See (Smosh)}

_{20 Greatest Moments in Breast History (BroBible)}

_{Scientists Discover Way to Cure Bieber Fever (CelebJihad)}

_{Acting Is Randy Couture‘s New Priority (CagePotato)}

_{Jenny McCarthy Is Up For a Booty Call (PopEater)}

_{How to be Dating a Wild Card (MadeMan)}

This is what happens when you show a Stanley Kubrick restrospective in Hollywood. During the screening of 2001: A Space Odyssey this past weekend at the Egyptian Theater, a man started shouting at the screen and the audience due to a bad acid trip. Why you’d willing drop acid and then go to a crowded theater to see a movie that’s inevitably going to blow your mind is beyond me. Thank God they got him out before the Star Child scene. He might have suffered several seizures at once.

Check out the trippy video after the jump…

Editor Matthew Belinkie put together this mash-up of 40 inspirational movie speeches in 2 minutes. Not only did he choose some great bits of wisdom, but also managed to string them together in a coherent fashion. Let this montage lead you into the weekend with your hearts full of pride and your brains full of cocaine. Knowledge! I meant knowledge! (HeyUGuys)

It’s the Friday before the holiday weekend so news is slower than my bowl movements when I’m on vacation. I could bore you with more casting news that you don’t care about, or I could show you the dance remix of the Crazy Coffee Lady.

In case you’re not up to date, the other day a video hit the interwebz of a woman giving an animated testimony of her brush with death. She was getting coffee at a Shell station when two robbers busted in. I’ll let her explain the rest because I won’t do it justice.

The original video is after the jump.

(BuzzFeed)

Peer pressure in high school can be a real bitch, so kudos to Megan Fox for devoting a few minutes of her time to talk about what can be done to combat it.  Granted, the only peer pressure she probably ever had to endure in high school was Michael Bay’s casting car wash, but Fox gives a no-holds-barred, uncensored and sure-fire approach for all the ladies out there who have to cope with the lascivious behavior of teenage boys… and if there’s one thing we learned about Fox during our coverage of JENNIFER’S BODY at Comic-Con, it’s that she’s best when uncensored. 

Enjoy.  And try not to get killed and eaten when school starts back up, guys.

JENNIFER’S BODY opens September 18th.  In the highly unlikely event that you didn’t have your eyes glued to the video, you can visit the film’s official site here.

Today we received this outtake of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert whipping sh*t on each other in between takes of their old show, "Siskel & Ebert At The Movies."  I’d date this clip from about 1987, given that they’re trying to get through an intro about Robocop.  But they don’t get through it because Siskel flubs a line.  Then Ebert makes fun of Siskel’s tongue-tied delivery, and then Siskel unleashes a merciless stream of fat jokes.  C’mon Siskel.  Fat jokes are a low blow.  Then again, so is brain cancer.  Good one, God.  Hilarious…

[Thanks to Screen Junkies reader "James S." for the tip.]

Top Links of the Day:

_{Theresa Graziadai IS HOT and Really Likes Washing Old Cars (GorillaMask)}

_{The 7 Stages Of First-Time Sex With Someone (HolyTaco)}

_{Zombies As Liberal Parable?  Really? (FilmDrunk)}

_{The 200 Sexiest Female Athletes Of All Time (Manofest)}

_{Finally, A Golf Club That You Can Pee Into (Walyou)}

_{An Great Interview With The Writer Of The Proposal.  We’re f**ing serious! (Pajiba)}

_{6 Valuable Ways Science Reuses Human Waste (Cracked)}

_{14 Awesome Father’s Day iPhone Apps (CoedMagazine)}

_{A Really Hard Kick To The Head = A Very Quick Knockout (CagePotato)}

_{Harsh Reviews Of Legendary Movies (UnrealityMag)}

_{Did Sodom Really Exist? (Asylum)}

_{Apparently They Show Crowd Fights At Baseball Games On TV In Canada (BustedCoverage)}

_{Philadelphians Don’t Let Swarms Of Bees Bother Them (Uncoached)}

_{8 Ass-Kicking Explosions From Movies (RegretfulMorning)}

_{The 5 Most Over The Top Nic Cage Peformances (BachelorGuy)}

_{Tony Romo Plans On Stepping Up In 2009 (MoondogSports)}

_{What Happens When Someone Doesn’t Understand Twitter (Elevator)}

_{Women In Lingerie Ride Rollercoasters (NothingToxic)}

_{More Big Budget Movies Based On Childhood Toys (AtomFilms)}

_{Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty Join Forces? (Filmofilia)}