Screen Junkies » friars club roast http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Tue, 30 Sep 2014 00:00:47 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 9 Celebrities Who Deserve Their Own Roast http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/9-celebrities-who-deserve-their-own-roast/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/9-celebrities-who-deserve-their-own-roast/#comments Thu, 17 Mar 2011 21:07:14 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=202217 So as long as they're roasting anyone, friend or foe, here are nine celebrities that deserve to be roasted.

The post 9 Celebrities Who Deserve Their Own Roast appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>

Traditionally, at least at the Friars’ Club Roasts, the motto has always been “We only roast the ones we love,” meaning that while the jokes could often be harsh, at the end of the day, the roastee knew he was among friends. But since Comedy Central branched off to do their own roasts in 2003, the idea of only roasting a friend seems to have fallen by the wayside. Nowhere is this more apparent than with the latest victim, Donald Trump. Does anyone really believe that most of that crowd had respect for “The Donald?” Even roast regular, Lisa Lampanelli, admitted, “I broke the (roast) rule because the money’s really good.”

So as long as we’re open to roasting anyone, friend or foe, here are nine celebrities that deserve to be roasted.

Jay Leno

No matter what you personally think of Leno’s comedy, it’s no secret that he isn’t well respected by many of his fellow comedians. Imagine letting them all loose on him at the same time. Recently, he was semi-roasted at Harvard’s Hasty Pudding Awards, so maybe, he’d be up for it. If so, hopefully the ghosts of Johnny Carson and Bill Hicks will be able to make an appearance.

Roger Ebert

I like Rogert Ebert, but there’s no getting around the fact that he has made a career off of ripping apart people’s films. Imagine a room full of jilted actors and directors waiting to take their revenge. The fact that Ebert no longer has a lower jaw would certainly add an uncomfortable element. These roasts are known for their harshness, but it would take some pretty big balls to make fun of a man who is missing half his face.

Oprah

Speaking of Ebert, let’s move on to his former girlfriend, Oprah. Well, girlfriend is a little strong, since they only went on a few dates. But at any rate, when it comes to egos, they don’t get much bigger than Oprah’s. And when it comes to targets, they don’t get much bigger than Oprah. No, that wasn’t a weight joke, although I’m sure there would be plenty of those, not to mention jokes about Stedman, rumored lesbianism, the throngs of stupid housewives who worship her, etc.

George Lucas

George Lucas lives in a bubble. Sure, it has a fancy name (Skywalker Ranch), but it’s a fantasy world in which he is king, and every idea he has is pure gold. As such, he’s blissfully unaware that his last three movies were horseshit. With the money they brought it, I can’t say that I blame him being delusional. Even so, imagine how much fun it would be to get a group of angry fan boys together for a Lucas roast. I’m sure Jake Lloyd and the guy who voiced Jar Jar might want to vent, as well.

Sean Penn

Maybe I’m wrong, but Sean Penn often comes across as a self-important asshole. When he was spoofed in the film, Team America: World Police, he wrote an angry letter in response rather than laughing it off or simply ignoring it. That’s why I’d love to see him in a roast. It’s always funnier when the targets take themselves seriously. Besides, it would take some real balls to get up on stage and mock Penn to his face, because there’s a very real possibility he would snap and beat the shit out of you.

Mel Gibson

In Hollywood, there’s probably no one more hated than Mel Gibson. That alone makes him the perfect target for a roast. Every Jewish comedian in the industry would be lining up to take shots at him, and given what we know about Mel, his rebuttal would probably be pretty colorful (i.e. offensive and insane).

Harvey Weinstein

As a producer, Harvey Weinstein has made some big films. He’s also made some big enemies. After all, to paraphrase”The Simpsons,” you don’t become a millionaire by writing a lot of checks. It’s a producers job to screw people out of money, but when you’ve got a commie like Michael Moore taking you to court over millions of dollars, chances are you’re taking it too far. A roast where the entertainment industry was allowed to vent would be highly entertaining.

Richard Simmons

Richard Simmons has been the butt of jokes for years, especially when appearing on David Letterman. But “The Late Show” looks like an episode of “Veggie Tales” when compared to a Comedy Central roast. Odds are 2:1 that Simmons would end up crying. I’d watch that.

Tom Hanks

Tom Hanks is widely considered the nicest guy in Hollywood. That’s why it would be so funny to see Jeff Ross and Lisa Lampanelli taking the piss out of him. And it would be just as funny to see Tom Hanks making jokes about Lisa Lampanelli’s giant vagina.

The post 9 Celebrities Who Deserve Their Own Roast appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/9-celebrities-who-deserve-their-own-roast/feed/ 2 trump-roast Jay-Leno roger-ebert oprah George_Lucas sean-penn mel-gibson-net-worth harvey-weinstein RichardSimmons tom-hanks-thank-you-card-13737-1297967508-16
Funny Things Happened at The Quentin Tarantino Roast http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/funny-things-happened-at-the-quentin-tarantino-roast/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/funny-things-happened-at-the-quentin-tarantino-roast/#comments Thu, 02 Dec 2010 17:07:55 +0000 Col. Longshanks http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=10730 Yesterday, several of Quentin Tarantino's friends gathered in New York for lunch to roast the director in only a way that the Friars Club can. They all gave Tarantino sh*t about his face, cadence, use of language, and supposed foot fetish.

The post Funny Things Happened at The Quentin Tarantino Roast appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
Yesterday, several of Quentin Tarantino’s friends gathered in New York for lunch to roast the director in only a way that the Friars Club can. Samuel L. Jackson, Uma Thurman, Brett Ratner, Harvey Keitel, Sarah Silverman, Jeffrey Ross, and Rob Schneider all gave Tarantino sh*t about his face, cadence, use of language, and supposed foot fetish. Jackson was more kind than cruel, thanking his Pulp Fiction director for casting him, as he still gets asked everyday (by I’m sure high teens) to recite lines like “English motherf*cker, do you speak?!”

Uma Thurman told a story of an on-set spat during the filming of Kill Bill. Her phone went off during shooting and Tarantino shouted, “You let your phone go off one more time and I’ll make sure you regret the day you ever started acting!” She screamed back, “That happened a long time ago, motherf*cker!” So clearly a lot of “motherf*ckers” were thrown around. Uma than proceeded to remove her shoes, fill them with wine, and her and Quentin drank a toast.

Jeffrey Ross, who always kills at roasts, again offered up some of the best digs. To wrap up his time at the dais, he ended with these kind words: ”Thank you for making all us movie geeks seem a little cooler,” he told Tarantino before ending with another joke. “You changed the face of cinema. I just wish cinema would return the favor.” Nailed it!

Rob Schneider also took to the podium to explain why John Travolta, who sent a congratulatory note to Tarantino, was absent from the event. “There was a “Fags in Denial Who Believe in Aliens” convention,” Schneider suggested. Damn, Schneider. DAMN. (FilmDrunk, THR)

The post Funny Things Happened at The Quentin Tarantino Roast appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/funny-things-happened-at-the-quentin-tarantino-roast/feed/ 3 Uma-Tarantino-Wine-shoe-toast
Seth MacFarlane Assigned The Hoff’s Roastmaster http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/seth-macfarlane-assigned-the-hoffs-roastmaster/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/seth-macfarlane-assigned-the-hoffs-roastmaster/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Seth MacFarlane has stolen the Friars Club crown and sceptre from insult king Jeffrey Ross, as Comedy Central has chosen the "Family Guy" creator to head the Roast of David Hasselhoff. The evening, which is sure to not lack in fast food-centric material, will also feature Pamela Anderson, Whitney Cummings, Greg Giraldo, Lisa Lampanelli, (a scorned) Jeffrey Ross, Jerry Springer, and Hulk Hogan. Ah yes, the wild card. There's always one of them, like Bea Arthur at the Pam Anderson Roast or George Takai at the Shatner one. I just hope Hogan is writing his own material instead of using Lampenelli's toss-outs. The jokes about black guys wanting to f*ck him won't pack the same punch. (Movieline)

The post Seth MacFarlane Assigned The Hoff’s Roastmaster appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>

Seth MacFarlane has stolen the Friars Club crown and sceptre from insult king Jeffrey Ross, as Comedy Central has chosen the "Family Guy" creator to head the Roast of David Hasselhoff. The evening, which is sure to not lack in fast food-centric material, will also feature Pamela Anderson, Whitney Cummings, Greg Giraldo, Lisa Lampanelli, (a scorned) Jeffrey Ross, Jerry Springer, and Hulk Hogan. Ah yes, the wild card. There’s always one of them, like Bea Arthur at the Pam Anderson Roast or George Takai at the Shatner one. I just hope Hogan is writing his own material instead of using Lampenelli’s toss-outs. The jokes about black guys wanting to f*ck him won’t pack the same punch. (Movieline)

 

The post Seth MacFarlane Assigned The Hoff’s Roastmaster appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/seth-macfarlane-assigned-the-hoffs-roastmaster/feed/ 0
Friars Club to Roast Quentin Tarantino http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/friars-club-to-roast-quentin-tarantino/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/friars-club-to-roast-quentin-tarantino/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 How could you be mean to this punim?They've done it to Pam Anderson, they've done it to William Shatner, and now the time has come for Quentin Tarantino to endure their wrath. On October 1 at the New York Hilton, The Friars Club will exploit Tarantino's shortcomings and almost certainly mention the words "Badrock; Bazooka; Benzoylethylecgonine; Benzoylmethylecgonine; Bernice; Bernies; Beta-Cocain; Blast; Blizzard; Blow; Bouncing Powder; Bump; Burese; C" Carrie; Cabello; Candy; Carrie; Caviar; Cecil; Charlie; Chicken Scratch; Cholly; COC; Coca; Cocain; Cocaina; Cocaine Free Base; Cocaine, L-; Cocaine-M; Cocktail; Coke; Cola; Corine; D-pseudococaine; Dama Blanca; Delcaine; Depsococaine; Dextrocaine; Dust; Ecgonine, Methyl Ester, Benzoate; Eritroxilina; Erytroxylin; Flake; Flex; Florida Snow; Foo Foo; Freeze; G-Rock; Girl; Gold Dust; Goofball; Green Gold; Happy Dust; Happy Powder; Happy Trails; Heaven; Hell; Isocaine; Isococain; Isococaine; Jam; Kibbles N' Bits; Kokain; Kokan; Kokayeen; L-Cocain; L-Cocaine; Lady; Leaf; Line; Methyl Benzoylecgonine; Moonrocks; Neurocaine; None; Nose Candy; Pimp's Drug; Prime Time; Rock; Sleighride; Snort; Snow; Star Dust; Star-Spangled Powder; Sugar; Sweet Stuff; Toke; Toot; Trails; White Girl or Lady; Yeyo; Zip" during a good ol' fashioned roast. Comedy Central has aired the specials in the past, but hasn't yet signed on for Tarantino's jittery jamboree of insults. (Variety)

The post Friars Club to Roast Quentin Tarantino appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>

How could you be mean to this punim?

They’ve done it to Pam Anderson, they’ve done it to William Shatner, and now the time has come for Quentin Tarantino to endure their wrath. On October 1 at the New York Hilton, The Friars Club will exploit Tarantino’s shortcomings and almost certainly mention the words "Badrock; Bazooka; Benzoylethylecgonine; Benzoylmethylecgonine; Bernice; Bernies; Beta-Cocain; Blast; Blizzard; Blow; Bouncing Powder; Bump; Burese; C" Carrie; Cabello; Candy; Carrie; Caviar; Cecil; Charlie; Chicken Scratch; Cholly; COC; Coca; Cocain; Cocaina; Cocaine Free Base; Cocaine, L-; Cocaine-M; Cocktail; Coke; Cola; Corine; D-pseudococaine; Dama Blanca; Delcaine; Depsococaine; Dextrocaine; Dust; Ecgonine, Methyl Ester, Benzoate; Eritroxilina; Erytroxylin; Flake; Flex; Florida Snow; Foo Foo; Freeze; G-Rock; Girl; Gold Dust; Goofball; Green Gold; Happy Dust; Happy Powder; Happy Trails; Heaven; Hell; Isocaine; Isococain; Isococaine; Jam; Kibbles N’ Bits; Kokain; Kokan; Kokayeen; L-Cocain; L-Cocaine; Lady; Leaf; Line; Methyl Benzoylecgonine; Moonrocks; Neurocaine; None; Nose Candy; Pimp’s Drug; Prime Time; Rock; Sleighride; Snort; Snow; Star Dust; Star-Spangled Powder; Sugar; Sweet Stuff; Toke; Toot; Trails; White Girl or Lady; Yeyo; Zip" during a good ol’ fashioned roast

Comedy Central has aired the specials in the past, but hasn’t yet signed on for Tarantino’s jittery jamboree of insults. (Variety)

 

The post Friars Club to Roast Quentin Tarantino appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/friars-club-to-roast-quentin-tarantino/feed/ 0