US officials asked MI5 to look into Charlie Chaplin‘s background after he left the US, having been subjected to a volley of accusations of communism in 1952. The British intelligence group found that he may have been born near Paris, not London, as he originally claimed.

Oh yeah, and American intelligence got the impression during this same period that he may have been a Russian Jew named Israel Thornstein, which is a way better stage name than Charlie Chaplin. This hasn’t been substantiated in any meaningful way since then.

Nor were the British able to verify claims made amid McCarthyism that Chaplin was a communist agent. In fact, they rejected them outright, saying he was at most a sympathizer. In fact, amid the mystery of Charlie Chaplin’s origin story, these many background checks have materialized very little, save for a letter suggesting that Chaplin may have been born in Smethwick,

Smethwick! Aha!

And that’s all the time we’re going to spend talking about Charlie Chaplin’s birthplace for the foreseeable future.

The apology came while the director was receiving his lifetime achievement award from the Zurich Film Festival. He tried to pick up the award two years ago, but was arrested by the totally unchill Swiss authorities because they were still harshing on him for raping a minor like a million years ago. G.O.I., Swiss authorities! Get over it!!

The director picked up the award last night and brought along a peace offering as well in the form of a documentary titled, Roman Polanski: A Film Memoir, which was screened after the ceremony. Directed by Laurent Bouzereau, the film centers on a conversation between Polanski and his producer friend, Andrew Braunsberg. He uses this conversation as a forum to apologize to his victim, referring to her as “a double victim: my victim and a victim of the press.” This naturally doesn’t include the whole drugging and raping her thing. That was his bad.

An apology via documentary seems kind of lame though. Most people don’t even watch documentaries. At the very least, he could have sent her an apology card. And not a cheap one either! Get one of those fancy ones that plays music. “Sorry” by Madonna seems appropriate. (THR)