Well, today execs at HBO woke up with more than a few regrets, claiming that going forward with the project wouldn’t be appropriate, given the network’s ties to CNN. That seems like a bit of a fallacy, considering that the station has long been known to have ties to organized crime, but that didn’t keep them from moving forward with The Sopranos.

I guess this news means that if you want to hear anyone speak ill of Fox News, you’re just going to have to turn to 90% of your friends on Facebook.

Dark times, haters. Dark times indeed.

It’s easier to show what I’m talking about than it is to describe it. Note: Murdoch’s hands are one of those things you cant unsee, like childbirth or Stevie Wonder’s eyes.

Enjoy the gallery, folks.

Dobbs claims the liberal media is ignoring the secret messages of these films that are “plainly demonizing the so-called ’1 percent’ and espousing the virtue of green-energy policies, come what may.” That’s a pretty obtuse way of seeing things. These films, like many others, are simply about likable characters standing up to total dickheads. Yes, The Lorax does deal with characters fighting off deforestation but so did Ferngully and Avatar and Woody Woodpecker. Another kids film recently maligned by Fox News was The Muppets also took a stance against greed.

Since Lou Dobbs (who likely has gardeners and landscapers at his spacious mansion which he didn’t lose when the economy crumbled) hates the environment so much, can we move him out to the desert?

(Media Matters)

During a recent press conference in England, a reporter mentioned the Fox report to Kermit and Miss Piggy. Being the media-savvy swine that she is, Piggy (well, the person with her hand up Miss Piggy’s butt) absolutely shut down the cable news channel.

Take notes, Chelsea Handler. (via /Film)

Finally, someone has the balls to nail those Muppet bastards right to the wall and expose them for the filthy leftists they are. In a recent segment, Fox News decried the latest Muppet movie for depicting a wealthy oilman as a villain, thereby indoctrinating a generation of children into the Marxist movement. First they take Manhattan, then they take Berlin.

Here’s a few of my favorite quotes from this hard-hitting news segment:

“The only thing green that should be up on that screen should be Kermit the Frog.”

BURN!

(Kids) have been indoctrinated for years by this kind of stuff.

No argument here. I’ve been sucking dick ever since I heard The Rainbow Connection at age 6.

“You wonder why we’ve got a bunch of Occupy Wall Street people walking around all around the country.”

In all fairness, the OWS people (if you consider them “people”) were doing a lot more sitting in one place than they were walking. And now that I think about it, have you ever seen Oscar the Grouch walk? Coincidence?

“I just wish liberals could leave little kids alone.”

God damn liberals like Jerry Sandusky need to stay away from my kids!

“They should have…the evil person be the Obama administration?”

Good idea, but I’m not very comfortable with my child being exposed to a black Muppet.

“Over the years they’ve gotten more liberal.”

Have you ever seen a picture of Jim Henson? He’s a god damn pinko if I’ve ever seen one.

Of course, to keep things fair and balanced, Fox’s token leftist straw man (who in this case, was a woman named Caroline Heldman) came in to confirm the grand Muppet conspiracy.

“You call it brainwashing, I call this education. It’s a shame they couldn’t have put up a financial services tycoon.”

Smooth move, Caroline. You blew the whole thing. Here’s a tip for anyone being asked to come on Fox News to stick up for a Democratic cause: If they’re asking you, it’s because you’re stupid. Don’t go (or do, I don’t care).

But perhaps the most insulting part of the whole segment is the fact that host Eric Bolling lifted a quote from Adam Carolla’s recent (and kind of awesome) anti-Occupy Wall Street rant.

Carolla’s rant:

It used to be, back in the day, father’d be walking his son down the sidewalk and you’d see a guy go by in a Rolls Royce and the father would say, “There goes Mr. Jenkins. Look up to him. That guy works hard. That guy built a company. That guy built an empire. Now look at him. He’s got his Rolls Royce.” Now it’s like, “Oh! Look at him. Does he need that car? Why does he need that car?”

Eric Bolling’s quote:

I remember when I was a little kid, we were poor, we were dead broke, in fact, and my parents would see someone wealthy driving by and be like, “See that guy, he started a business, he worked hard, you can be like that.” Not pointing the finger at Tex Richamn and saying “he’s a bad guy.”

If you want to bitch about Occupy Wall Street, more power to you. But at least be original (says the guy who just stole an article idea from Vulture).

Fox News struck a deal with Beck to bring an end to his 5 pm show, which was regularly the third highest rated show in cable news. At one point, his ratings were much higher, but the numbers have continuously been dropping, and creeped out advertisers have been pulling their sponsorships, which explains all the crying. Here’s a joint statement Fox News and Beck’s production company Mercury Radio Arts released on what he’ll do next:

“[We] will work together to develop and produce a variety of television projects for air on the Fox News Channel as well as content for other platforms including Fox News’ digital properties.”

So get excited for a bunch of crazy Glenn Beck soundboard iPhone apps. “Shut up, 9/11 victims,” “The President’s racist,” ”O-L-I-G-A-R-H-Y.” Coming soon.

Beck announced the end of days on his show in the above clip. He compares himself to American her Paul Revere and claims he “avoids confrontation” and doesn’t like conflict. Yup, that all checks out. (TheWrap)