And this convention is more common than we would like to believe, with many films, just churning out sequels of remakes left, right, and sideways, confusing future generations who should go through life knowing that the first Karate Kid with Ralph Macchio was the good one, the second one was pretty good, the third one sucked, and the first reboot, with Hilary Swank, was inconclusive because nobody saw it.

What we did was assemble a list of bastard children, sequels of remakes and remakes of sequels. We tried to ignore franchises that were being rebooted, so Batman, Spider-Man and other superhero movies needn’t apply. Of course, the whole thing is pretty arbitrary and convoluted, much like the concept of tacking on a sequel to a remake.

Father of the Bride 2

Many will be just tickled to know that the 1991 Steve Martin film Father of the Bride was a remake of a 1950 Spencer Tracy film of the same name. Of course, the 1991 version was charming and funny enough to stand on its own, so people often don’t feel compelled to ask, “Why did this movie come into existence?”

Not the case with 1995’s Father of the Bride Part II, which takes all that adorable wedding stuff and dumps it in baby-land. Further, the film has Martin Short’s Franc returning like a catchphrase character on Saturday Night Live, completely eradicating any goodwill garnered in the first.

Yay for sequels of remakes!

Ocean’s Twelve (and Thirteen)

Not content to leave well enough alone, the all-star cast and crew of the 2001 Ocean’s Eleven remake had such a good time hanging out together and being rich and famous that they got the band back together not once, but twice. The follow-up Ocean’s Twelve was a misguided attempt to mire a decent plot in gimmicks and European style, while Ocean’s Thirteen was just terrible across the board.

But I bet they had a great time shooting them, and isn’t that what great filmmaking is all about? Having fun, regardless of the finished product? Yeah. It totally is.