Tony Grisoni revealed, “Us survivors of Don Q are a strange kind of dysfunctional family. Every year since we have rewritten the screenplay. And we’ve got quite good at it. You will be pleased to hear the Don is back up and in the saddle and ready to ride under new colours.”

What that means is actually nothing, seeing as the long-attached Ewan McGregor has backed out, likely because he doesn’t want any freak lightning accidents to befall him. However, it should be known that Gilliam has commisioned a design firm to draft up a new logo for the film. I think that’s all the proof we need that this movie is practically in the can. At the very least, the crew will get stylish new satin jackets. (via The Playlist)

So while he can continue to prattle on about Han shooting in self-defense, let’s look at nine other elephants in the room that demonstrate that these galaxies far, far away don’t adhere to the same strict moral code that we here in present day ‘merica do.

8. Using An Army Of Clones

How are the Jedi OK with this? Aside from the fact that no one really knew who made the clones, doesn’t Yoda have any qualms about the fact that these soldiers were raised in pods and have life outside of battle? It’s one thing to raise an army. It’s another to use a bunch of slaves you made in a test tube.

7. Animal Abuse

Killing a savage bounty hunter is totally verboten in Lucasland, but picking off womp rats is just innocent “boys will be boys” fun? That’s crap. Luke Skywalker‘s predilection towards killing animals should indicate that not only is he not fit to lead a rebellion, but probably shouldn’t be someone you’re hanging out with in any capacity. And let’s not forget Han Solo’s total disregard for the life of his poor Tauntaun.

I’ll sum up the movie in one sentence, using my best “trailer” voice tone (imagine it).

She was their best Agent…
CUT TO: Carano kicking ass…
…but then they betrayed her!”
CUT TO: Carano kicking more ass.

If that didn’t make enough sense — Gina Carano gets betrayed by her employer (Ewan McGregor), and she gets revenge by showing off her awesome MMA skills. The action may not be Bourne level hollywood insanity, but it’s cool to know it’s from a real life ass kicker (who’s also painfully attractive).

Obi-Wan Getting His Ass Kicked.

Like most Soderbergh movies, Haywire is much more style over substance. Instead of trying to do a new take on an old story, he does a throwback that makes you feel like you’re watching an action movie from the 60s…in 2012. I always like giving props to Soderbergh for trying new things, but I will say tone felt…well…like those Xtranormal Conversations you can create online for free. Don’t know what I’m talking about? See Below:

This video pretty much sums up the style of the movie. There’s lots of weird pauses and odd blocking that make for a very robotic viewing experience. That being said, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s definitely a nice return to some of his earlier movies like The Limey (also written by Lem Dobbs) and is thoroughly entertaining. Carano does a great job in her acting debut, and is well complimented by her co-stars…Ewan McGregor, Michael Douglas, Michael Fassbender, Antonio Banderas, Bill Paxton, and C Tates (C TATES!).

All in all, Haywire is worth the watch if you’re in to Soderbergh’s “hey guys…let’s make another movie” movies that he seems to churn out every month. It may not be as fun as his Oceans films, but it certainly won’t disappoint.

Cast: Gina Carano, Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender

Synopsis: A black ops super soldier seeks payback after she is betrayed and set up during a mission.

Release Date: January 20, 2011

You owe us a giant robot movie, Bryan Singer. But I’ll take this in the meantime.

And far be it from me to criticize how a shadowy operation hires and fires their elite assassins, but it seems like setting them up and killing them is a bit risky. Because if you fail, you suddenly have a killing machine gunning for Ewan McGregor. Why not offer them a pink slip? It might be a nice change of pace to not shoot, stab, and decapitate people for a living. You know, they could just head someplace warm and write. Follow their dream.

Director: Mike Mills

Cast: Ewan McGregor, Christopher Plummer

Synopsis: A young man is rocked by two announcements from his elderly father: that he has terminal cancer, and that he has a young male lover.

Release Date: June 3, 2011

His latest is a role in Bryan Singer‘s Jack The Giant Killer as a member of the King’s Guard. Coming Soon has set photos of Marsan with Ewan McGregor, who is playing the captain of the King’s Guard. Marsan is obviously the one on the right wearing the silly wig. Might he be trying to position himself along the giants of silly wigdom, Nicolas Cage and Samuel L. Jackson? It wouldn’t be a bad career move and at the very least, his head would always be warm.

Let’s start with Rock of Ages. The cliche karaoke soundtrack turned Broadway musical turned feature film directed by Adam Shankman hits theaters June 1, 2012. Phew. For a moment there, I stopped believin’. Rock of Ages stars Tom Cruise, Mary J. Blige, Julianne “I’m From ‘Dancing With The Stars’ ” Hough and Alec Baldwin.

Meanwhile, Jack The Giant Killer, the Bryan Singer helmed fairy tale adaptation, shimmies down the beanstalk on June 15, 2012. It’s just got to steal a bunch of giant treasure first. Jack The Giant Killer stars Nicholas Hoult, Ewan McGregor, Stanley Tucci and Ian McShane. McAwesome cast. (TheWrap)

McShane plays a disapproving dad king, which I imagine will be exactly like his role in Hot Rod, only kinglier. As King Brahmwell, he will hate-on farm boy Jack (Nicholas Hoult), who’s trying to get into the royal panties of his princess daughter (Eleanor Tomlinson). Hopefully, McShane’s scepter doubles as a shotgun.

The kickass cast also includes Ewan McGregor, John Kassir, Bill Nighy and Stanley Tucci as the villainous royal advisor. (Hollywood Reporter)

One would be rightfully skeptical of a “serious” thriller featuring an MMA star, but Haywire director Steven Soderbergh has managed to get winning performances out of porn stars and Topher Grace, so don’t be so quick to discount this film. In case you’re still sour on the idea, perhaps a supporting cast of Michael Fassbender, Channing Tatum, Ewan McGregor, Michael Douglas, Bill Paxton, Michael Angarano, Matthieu Kassovitz and Antonio Banderas will put your mind at ease.

Haywire revolves around Carano’s character, a black ops soldier who finds out she’s been double-crossed, then goes around beating the hell out of people until something gives. It appears to be Ewan McGregor’s turn to pay the fiddler in these stills. Actually the script by Lem Dobbs is thought to be quite sharp, so just consider the ass-kickings a bonus.

Still, those legs could dropkick a small car. (Playlist)

That extrapolation is an incredibly circuitous  and dramatic way of letting you know that the aforementioned are in the process of involving themselves in “competing” bank-robbing movies, with Andrew Garfield in talks to star in The Robber, and McGregor in Electric Slide.

The Robber would be a remake of a recent German film that tells the story of a marathon runner who moonlights as a bank robber. It is being developed by Sony, who is “in like” with Garfield after penning him to The Amazing Spider-Man and would presumably like to take their relationship with him to the next level.

Electric Slide is, sadly, not about a dude who dances professionally at weddings, but rather an antique store owner who started knocking down banks to support his heroin habit. The man was known to be peaceful and polite in his heists, much as McGregor is known to be in his day-to-day life, so…good casting choice, guys.

I know the moviegoing public’s attention span has dwindled to that of a fruit fly, but since these movies both sound engaging enough that perhaps, need there be only one? I mean, they made more than one movie about WWII, and people didn’t think that was overkill. (Playlist)

Tomlinson beat out a number of hopefuls, including Lily Collins (The Blind Side), Adelaide Kane (Power Rangers RPM – more like FTW) and Juno Temple (Greenberg). Having sent those other ladies home with not so much as a sack of beans, Tomlinson gets to star alongside Stanley Tucci, Ewan McGregor and Nicolas Hoult (X-Men: First Class). She’ll play Isabella the Princess, so curtsy next time you see her.

This giant of a movie is looking to drop down into theaters sometime in 2012. (The Playlist)

Just a hunch, but he’ll probably be pretty busy in this film.

With most of the principals cast, one remaining question is who will play the princess. Adelaide Keane and Eleanor Tomlinson are the two rumored to be in contention, with the former having appeared in Power Rangers RPM (!) and the latter in Alice in Wonderland.

Filming of Jack and the Giant Killer begins in March in London, where there exists no shortage of kingdoms and castles. Gold star for the location scout. Obviously, this is expected to be a tentpole release for New Line, as movies featuring giants and kingdoms rarely fly below the radar. (THR)

The film has an indie sensibility without wearing its quirkiness like a badge of honor. That’s right, Juno. I’m talkin’ about you. McGregor hasn’t shown these colors in a while, but he doesn’t appear to miss a beat, playing a lost soul we haven’t seen since his Trainspotting days. But without all that sweet, sweet heroin. (Playlist)

As they fall in love, for one reason or another the world begins to lose its collective sensory perception, and the couple face crises of self, which should probably take a backseat to losing your actual senses, but to each their own. The downplayed disaster movie angle here shows some real restraint, with the director, David MacKenzie, seeming to opt to tell the story of the two lovers, rather than the world’s reaction. A disaster movie sans disaster.

In addition to the two leads, the supporting cast boasts longtime McGregor costar Ewen Bremner and Connie Nielsen. The film premieres next week at the Sundance Film Festival. While it doesn’t look very fun, it does look intriguing, so expect some news about release and distribution shortly thereafter. (Playlist)

Director: David Mackenzie

Cast: Eva Green, Ewan McGregor, Connie Nielsen, Ewen Bremner, Stephen Dillane

Synopsis: A chef and a scientist fall in love as an epidemic begins to rob people of their sensory perceptions.

Release Date: Januar 24, 2011

There’s a new red band trailer for I Love You Phillip Morris. I guess you could consider it NSFW due to language, sexual situations, and cloud imagery. It’s also NSFRedneckDad due to everything that happens in it. Jim Carrey stars as a man who explodes out of the closet and his suburban existence and goes to great lengths to fund his new lifestyle. Ewan McGregor co-stars as the titular Phillip Morris, who Carrey meets in prison.

All in all, it’s a great trailer and the best look that we’ve had at the film yet. It’s got the same brand of whimsy we saw in the trailers for Middle Men and Casino Jack. But don’t hold that against it.

I Love You, Phillip Morris finally gets released in theaters December 3rd.

Check out the NSFW trailer after the jump…

Directors: Glenn Ficarra & John Requa

Cast: Jim Carrey, Ewan McGregor, Rodrigo Santoro, Leslie Mann

Synopsis: A gay con man vows to break his lover out of jail and build a fabulous life with him.

Release Date: December 3, 2010

Recently I reported that Forbes had crowned Simon Cowell the highest paid man on television. Now they’ve released a more pithy list and Will Ferrell sits at the top. Ferrell has been cited as the most overpaid actor in Hollywood based off the financial returns of his movies. This is of course due to flops like Land of the Lost and Semi Pro. An outraged Sean Penn commented, "Will Ferrell is one of our finest actors… who is willing to drop trow for laughs."

Second on the list is Ewan McGregor, which is really hard to believe. Think about all the money that the Star Wars movies raked in. Not to mention Angels and Demons, Robots, Black Hawk Down, and Big Fish. Did The Island really do THAT poorly? (Forbes)