This trailer-preview-thing for director Joe Johnston‘s Captain America comes courtesy of “Entertainment Tonight,” who got their glitziness and excessive voice over all over Cap’s shield. Disgusting. However, to quote the great Homer Simpson, “it’s still good. It’s still good.”

We’ve also got a very, very short clip from the trailer off Paramount‘s Twitter feed. If you blink and press play at the same time, you’ll miss what happens. Better get the clothespins out for those pesky eyelids. (Cinema Blend)

If you’ve ever thought, “it’d be fun to beat the shit out of Robert Pattinson,” you’ll be jealous of a few lucky actors cast in Water For Elephants. Directed by Francis Lawrence’s (I Am Legend), co-starring Reese Witherspoon, Pattinson tells an Entertainment Tonight reporter (ugh) that he’s gonna get his sparkly vampire butt kicked in the film.

Anytime there’s any sort of love scene or anything, I always end up getting beaten up… Our most romantic moment [in the movie] is me getting beaten up by about ten guys.

If you can withstand the full-on “glitz” of ET – I literally cringed all the way through – you can see the whole interview above.

If you’d rather see Legally Blonde get into a cat fight, that may or may not happen to Pattinson’s new love interest in the movie. However, in real life, hundreds of crazy Team Edward tweens are probably waiting for Witherspoon to let her guard down in a parking lot, where they will mercilessly pounce on her, attempt to suck her blood, then get tazed by her bodyguard, who was just in the Starbucks for, like, a second.

Below is the synopsis for Water For Elephants, stampeding over Pattinson and into theaters soon. (Collider)

Veterinary school student Jacob (Pattinson) meets and falls in love with Marlena (Witherspoon), a star performer in a circus of a bygone era. They discover beauty amidst the world of the Big Top, and come together through their compassion for a special elephant. Against all odds – including the wrath of Marlena’s charismatic but dangerous husband, August (Christopher Waltz) – Jacob and Marlena find lifelong love.

“Entertainment Tonight” stopped by the set of that Paul W.S. Anderson version The Three Musketeers that I can’t imagine anybody will want to go see (which, of course, means it will be the hugest hit and everyone except me will start wearing those queer floppy hats with the big feathers sticking out) to listen to Orlando Bloom act really, really high.

Not to compliment his acting, but I can’t tell if he’s faking it or not. He’s either doing an imitation of Captain Jack Sparrow or turning into Joaquin Phoenix. Or did he have a stroke? Whichever is the case, it’s pretty sad. The Orlando Bloom Beard Watch begins…… now.

Again, this is a really short video so there is unfortunately no information whether Evans worked out for the role or not. But that’s okay. We’ll sure to find out the answer to that riveting question (and possibly plot details) when “ET” airs its full exclusive. (Comic Book Movie)