Kevin Clash, the actor better-known as Elmo, took leave from Sesame Street after being accused of a sexual relationship with a teenager. Those accusations were recanted. Then that recanting was retracted. Alas, today a second man has now come forward alleging that he and Clash banged when he was fifteen-years old. When asked why he was now coming forward some fifteen years later, the accuser says he only just now realized he was upset by the relationship and would like $5 million. That’s enough for Sesame Workshop to release the following statement:

“Two. Two accusations of sex with a minor. Ah! Ah! Ah!”

They also said this:

“Sesame Workshop’s mission is to harness the educational power of media to help all children the world over reach their highest potential. Kevin Clash has helped us achieve that mission for 28 years, and none of us, especially Kevin, want anything to divert our attention from our focus on serving as a leading educational organization. Unfortunately, the controversy surrounding Kevin’s personal life has become a distraction that none of us want, and he has concluded that he can no longer be effective in his job and has resigned from Sesame Street. This is a sad day for Sesame Street.”

It is a sad day for Sesame Street. Even worse than that time those puppeteers suffocated inside of the Snuffleupagus costume. It’s also a sad day for Clash. Much like Lance Armstrong, his decision to step down paints him in a negative light that will likely tarnish his reputation forever. However, there is a bright side. History shows us that sex with teenagers isn’t that big of a deal. He always has a future on Broadway. (Gawker)

Yesterday accusations surfaced that Clash had engaged in a sexual relationship with a teenage boy, allegations that Clash strongly denied. Today brings good news as a sunny day has swept those clouds away. Gothamist received the following letter from the accuser’s lawyer.

“This office represented a 23-year-old man who was the subject of many media reports regarding Kevin Clash. He wants it to be known that his sexual relationship with Mr. Clash was an adult consensual relationship. He will have no further comment on the matter.”

We assume the accuser saw the damage he did to a man he was very close to and decided to do the right thing. Or he found a bag of cash behind Oscar’s garbage can. At any rate, WALK TALL, ELMO! You’re a free Muppet!

Kevin Clash — the man known as the voice of Elmo — has taken a leave of absence from Sesame Street in the wake of allegations he had a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old boy, TMZ has learned … allegations Clash adamantly denies.

We’ve learned … Sesame Workshop lawyers recently met with a 23-year-old man who claims he and Clash began a sexual relationship 7 years ago … when he was 16 and Clash was 45.

Clash has acknowledged to TMZ he had a relationship with the young man — but insists it only took place AFTER the accuser was an adult. (TMZ)

Innocent or guilty, we always knew that Elmo was a monster. This should surprise nobody.

While it may come across as laughable that this is one of the manners in which we’re helping rebuild the country, the sad fact is that this program may serve as the largest source of children‘s education for the impoverished state.

The series will feature such beloved characters as Big Bird and Elmo. Gordon was slated to make several guest appearances on the show, but was captured in transit from the Kabul airport to the television studio and beheaded. Just kidding. I’m sure he’s fine.

You can do more than tickle him for a bump.

It’s been said that only Nixon could go to China. Well tell that to Big Bird, bitch.

The “Sesame Street” gang (not to be confused with the Gang of Four) has cut a deal that will eventually see a Chinese version of the show broadcast across the country, targeting the nation’s estimated 87 million children. Let a hundred flowers bloom.

Now, my first instinct was to make a joke about Big Bird hanging in a Chinese butcher shop window, or maybe something about Oscar the Grouch being sent to a reeducation camp for subversive thought. But instead, I’ll take the high road by avoiding stereotypes.

In the new show, set to air each day at 5:30 pm, a new, Chinese Sesame Street character—a martial arts expert Muppet called Tiger Lily–will join Big Bird and Elmo.

Damn it! You’re not making this easy, China. (THR)

Recently Sesame Street‘s Elmo was having a really hard time falling asleep (you would too if you had a hand shoved up your poop-shoot). Luckily, the unbelievably famous Ricky Gervais broke into the young Muppet’s bedroom to assist with a "Celebrity Lullaby."

To coax Elmo off to Dreamland, Gervais decided to serenade him about the letter "N" and all the words you can spell with it. Words like, Nap, Nightcap, Nummies, and Naff off you insufferable little sh*t. Gervais doesn’t come right out and say that but you can tell he wants to. Between this and their earlier insult-laden video, the tension between them is so thick. Hurry up and bang already, you two. Everyone knows you want it.

Ricky Gervais Torments Elmo – Watch more Funny Videos