“So we brought a generator and set up a television. I thought they were going to show them E.T. or The Wizard of Oz, but they showed them Cannibal Holocaust to see how much they could handle.”

Did it freak them out?

“The villagers thought it was the funniest thing they’d ever seen.”

Roth was later boiled in a large cauldron. They even made him peel the carrots. (Movieline)

Ashley Bell, who starred in the first movie, is returning for the sequel, as is producer Eli Roth, who says (among other things):

“The first film worked great as a PG-13 psychological film, but now we want to go R-rated and show the true horror of what this subject matter offers. The biggest creative challenge will be coming up with the right title!”

How about The For Real Last Exorcism? Heh heh, stand aside folks, I get paid to write jokes like this. (Deadline)

“Creating a maze for Halloween Horror Nights is a horror fan’s dream come true. I’ve been visiting Halloween Horror Nights for years, and still remember the heart-pounding terror of going through the mazes for the first time.”

New 'Hobo with a Shotgun' Red Band Trailer Features a Hobo, Shotgun

And so it goes. This time, the celebrity in question is Russell Crowe, and the tweets in question have to do with circumcision. Of all the things I thought I might be writing about today, The Gladiator‘s views on foreskin removal were near the bottom of the list. But yet, here we are. And to make matters worse, the tweets have resulted in charges of anti-Semitism. It’s days like this I wish that whole rapture thing had panned out.

So, what’s all the hubbub? It all started when an expecting father asked Crowe (via Twitter) if he should have his son circumcised. Because honestly, when it comes to the matter of baby dicks, who else are you going to ask? I won’t post the entire rant, but Crowe was quick to reply.

• Circumcision is barbaric and stupid. Who are you to correct nature?
• Is it real that God requires a donation of foreskin? Babies are perfect.
• Last of it, if you feel it is your right to cut things off your babies please unfollow and f**k off; I’ll take attentive parenting over barbarism.

So, in case you’re not adept at picking up on subtlety, Russell Crowe does not like circumcision. But the real problems started when Crowe tweeted to the Bear Jew himself, Eli Roth.

• many jewish friends, I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats but stop cutting yr babies @eliroth

And you can imagine where it went from there. The Hollywood Reporter labeled the remarks as anti-Semitic, the twitterverse was up in arms, and the statue of Anne Frank in Amsterdam shed a single tear.

Now, Crowe’s comments are many things: obnoxious, stupid, pompous. But they are by no stretch anti-Semitic. Yes, the “little hats” comment was somewhat condescending, but it’s hardly a matter for the ADL. Eli Roth himself said as much, chastising the Hollywood Reporter for even suggesting Crowe was a bigot, and claiming that the hat comment was a joke between friends.

The Bear Jew is right (he’s always right, damn it). Russell Crowe is not an anti-Semite. However, he’s also not terribly bright. He’s entitled to his opinion, but what in the world made him think that going on a Twitter rant about baby foreskin was a good idea? Does the man who starred in Virtuosity bring a unique take on the matter to the table? And why, oh why, did he make the “little hats” comment in the first place? Yes, I believe he was making a joke to his friend, but why broadcast such a joke to the entire Internet? Eli Roth knows you’re kidding. Eli the militant Jewish man with a chip on his shoulder might not. You’re just asking for trouble.

But of all the stupidity on display, the following Tweet takes the cake. In response someone who commented on the supposed scientifically proven benefits of circumcision, Crowe had this to say…

• @Hodanismail My friend, “human” science has caused too much damage, don’t be a moron

I don’t even know where to begin. First of all, why is “human” in quotes? Human as opposed to what? Elven science? Christian Science? What the hell is he talking about.

Second, why the hell is he bitching about science? Granted, not everything science has brought us has been good (the Industrial Revolution lead to pollution, splitting the atom lead to nuclear war, the ability to record music lead to the Black Eyed Peas, etc.). But considering Russell Crowe is probably alive today because of vaccines, travels around the world on private jets, and works in a field that is completely dependent on technology, I find it baffling that he feels the need to beat up on science. Perhaps instead of being a rich and famous movie star in a highly developed civilization, he’d be more at home wearing animal skins while squatting in his own shit, and desperately searching for food to bring back to his cave before the sun god goes away for the night?

Yes, while Russell Crowe might not be an anti-Semite, it is still very possible that he’s an idiot.

Kelly (Donnie Darko, The Box) will take on a more straightforward narrative with his new film Corpus Christi, though the plot description makes me wonder if deviations into “Fluid Karma” territory are inevitable:

The Texas-set story concerns a mentally unstable Iraq war veteran named Paciencia “Patience” De La Rosa, who forges a strange friendship with his boss Ralph Salverson, the wealthy and politically ambitious owner of a supermarket chain.

Eli Roth (Hostel) is on board to produce, so maybe that’ll help anchor this more in the traditional thriller territory, and less in the “wait, why did he say that – that makes no sense” territory. Casting is currently underway and bunny suits are discouraged. Pig masks… bring ‘em just in case. (Variety)

^{"And THIS is for Pirahna 3D!!!"}

With the success of The Last Exorcism under his belt, Eli Roth is ready to produce again. Roth is reteaming with Eric Newman and StudioCanal to make Psycho Killer. The story follows a masked killer on a cross-country murder spree. During his rampage, he kills a highway patrolman and leaves the wife, and fellow officer, behind as a witness. She sets out on the killer’s trail to avenge her husband and stop the massacre the killer has planned.

Originally, Limp Bizkit’s Fred Durst was attached to direct and "yo, use that Rob Zombie filter," but he has since left the project. Stepping in is producer and first-time director Gavin Polone. He’s produced a wide variety of film and television, ranging from "Curb Your Enthusiasm" to "The Gilmore Girls" to Panic Room to Zombieland. He’s also Conan O’Brien‘s manager, and is rumored to have had a huge hand in dragging NBC’s shady practices into the press during the Jay/Conan fiasco. So the man can obviously handle a bloodbath. (Variety)

I’ve been working on the script with my co-writer, Jeff Rendell, who plays the pilgrim in the trailer. And it’s me imitating Jeff’s voice [for the narration]. But Jeff has been working. I said that his deal is he has to work on the script while I’m promoting The Last Exorcism, and as soon as I’m done in mid-September he’s going to fly to California, we’re going to sit down, and bang out the script.

I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that most of these trailers are being turned into features. Hollywood is already scraping the bottom of the barrel with adaptations of friggen boardgames. Thanksgiving looks like Citizen Kane in comparison. (Cinema Blend)

The Last Exorcism
PG-13, 90min., 2010
Cast: Partrick Fabin, Ashely Bell, Iris Bahr, Louis Hertum, and  Caleb Landury Jones
Directed by Daniel Stamm
Screenplay by Huck Barto and Andreww Gurland

The Last Exorcism is where "The Office" meets Rosemary’s Baby, a film that brings a fresh approach to the shaky camera movie of the past decade but then settles into standard horror fare.

A fourth generation Louisiana pastor named Cotton Marcus (Patrick Fabian) has hit a crisis of faith. He has been in the exorcism business since he was 10 years old but now feels that it does more harm than good. He invites a two person documentary crew (Iris Bahr and unseen camera man) to witness his last exorcism and to show it for what the theatrical fraud that it really is.

The crew and Pastor Marcus travel into the heart of the bayou to the Sweatzer farmer, the kind of place that locals warn them to head back from, where they witness what might not be soul possession, but something far more sinister and humanly evil.

Producer Eli Roth and director newcomer Daniel Stamm are out to make their own homage to Cannibal Holocaust, the pinnacle docu-horror drama from the early 80s. They have a lot of fun with the set up of this American Gothic community and the role that the perspective camera plays with audience.

Pastor Marcus, played be unknown TV actor Fabian, gets to chew the theatrical church scenery of the southern Pentecostal. He’s the kind of snake skin preacher that can create a Sunday serum about God and turn it into praises about banana bread. Fabian. like Marcus. has a great command of the camera as he rattles on about the nature of business and exorcisms.

The first hour is a pure biting set up about the fraud Christianity has put on Southern society. Pastor Marcus hilariously walks us through an exorcism, showing how beds shake, demonic sounds erupt via iPods, and crosses ooze smoke thanks to inner liquid capsules. All of which is set-up to the actual horror these characters find themselves battling at the climax of the film.

As the film progresses, originality is cast out and standard horror clichés begin to emerge. Pastor Marcus and the crew are given a chance to leav the town but decide, like most horror character’s, to turn back around and face the demons head on. This involves the go-to human scarifies, ring of fire, and occult battles. This isn’t surprising considering it’s an Eli Roth production, yet in watching how the film sets itself up, we know these filmmakers are capable of creating a more surprising and non-conventional ending.

With this exception, The Last Exorcism does offer a surprisingly daring and original take on this very tired part of the horror genre.

Grade: B-

_{A lady in the street, but a freak in the bed.}

A trailer for The Last Exorcism has hit the interwebs, and we couldn’t help but notice that the Eli Roth production looks a lot like the first Exorcist.

Just like the original, the film follows a young girl possessed by the devil who is walking on the ceiling, contorting her body in horrifying ways and acting like an all-around *sshole. But don’t worry. Rumor has it that the film has at least one modern twist. Instead of vomiting split pea soup, the victim upchucks Healthy Choice Hearty Vegetable Barley, a low-calorie alternative for today’s health-conscious horror fan.

Watch The Last Exorcism trailer below.

The Last Exorcism Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers