Screen Junkies » E! http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 19 Sep 2014 21:04:14 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Chelseas Handler Will Be Heading To Netflix For Specials And A New Talk Show http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/chelseas-handler-will-be-heading-to-netflix-for-specials-and-a-new-talk-show/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/chelseas-handler-will-be-heading-to-netflix-for-specials-and-a-new-talk-show/#comments Thu, 19 Jun 2014 16:29:49 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=262366 Very Handler. Wow.

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Chelsea Handler, long thought to be a high-risk free agent in the world of network TV because she a) talked smack about her former employers at E!, and b) is completely insufferable, has found a home on Netflix. She will crank out a stand-up special later this year, four “docu-comedies” (whatever the shit that means) in 2015, then a talk show with an “updated format” format in 2016.

I think the fact that I had to use quotes around those terms above means no one has any idea what this really “means.” Maybe the updated format is that it will take place in an arid 2016 dystopia, where global warming (IT’S REAL, PEOPLE) have made the planet inhospitable for all but the most wealthy individuals.

Chelsea said in a statement:

“If I was going to continue working in this industry, I knew I had to do something outside the box to keep myself interested,” Handler says in a statement. “I wanted to sit with the cool kids at lunch so I approached Netflix to make sure they were as cool as I thought they were, and when I confirmed my suspicions, like with any other future lover, I made my move. I’m more excited than I’ve been in awhile, and the team at Netflix is the most forward thinking, alert group I’ve sat down with in ages. No offense to the Shahs of Sunset.”

Oh, Chelsea! I think you DID mean offense to the Shahs of Sunset. But that’s why we all love you!*

 

 

*No one loves Chelsea Handler.

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E!’s ‘Chelsea Lately’ To End In August, Leaving Chelsea Handler A Free Agent http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/es-chelsea-lately-to-end-in-august-leaving-chelsea-handler-a-free-agent/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/es-chelsea-lately-to-end-in-august-leaving-chelsea-handler-a-free-agent/#comments Wed, 28 May 2014 22:43:55 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=261855 Chelsea currently has no plans beyond then.

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After seven years of being an unlikeable talk-show host, Chelsea Handler will be exiting E! n August, a few months before her contract ends. Why the sudden hurry? Well, Chelsea Lately has been falling off pretty rapidly in the ratings department, having fallen off about 33% from where she was in 2010, way back when people hadn’t gotten sick of her.

Alas, here we are. Chelsea Handler is a somewhat bankable property, but probably not as a late-night flagship for a large cable network, and almost certainly not for a broadcast network. She rubs people, including, for the sake of full disclosure, this writer, the wrong way, and talked tons of shit about her current network, E!, to the point that it likely serves as a giant red flag for any prospective networks.

Also, she was involved in a romantic relationship with 50 Cent. That warrants mentioning for some reason.

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E! Announces Several Reality Shows That Defy Comprehension And Taste http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/e-announces-several-reality-shows-that-defy-comprehension-and-taste/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/e-announces-several-reality-shows-that-defy-comprehension-and-taste/#comments Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:05:35 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=260546 Do you know how many people had to all agree that these shows were a good idea before sending them to air?

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What do Lance Bass, the Kardashians, Gucci, and un-notable talented rich kids have in common? Nothing, except that they’re all terrible, terrible subjects for reality shows specifically, and our attention in general.

That said, they’re all getting their own shows on E!, a network that, along with A&E, Discovery, and TLC, has made a fortune underestimating the American public.

Oh my God. The Kardashian shows is called Khloe and Kourtney Take The Hamptons. Hopefully a delightful Bruce Jenner will make an appearance as a whimsical nanny or poolboy or something.

With a straight face, the president of E!, who I refuse to name on principal, said of the news, “E! continues to deliver for the pop culture fan through buzzy original programming, unparalleled entertainment news, and innovative digital initiatives.”

Oh, it’s buzzy all right. A little too buzzy, if you know what I mean.

I know you don’t. Neither do I.

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The New Ryan Lochte Show Might Be The Stupidest Thing On Television http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/the-new-ryan-lochte-show-might-be-the-stupidest-thing-on-television/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/the-new-ryan-lochte-show-might-be-the-stupidest-thing-on-television/#comments Thu, 28 Mar 2013 17:15:41 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=254152 I don't say that lightly.

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Even by E! and Ryan Lochte standards, the upcoming show What Would Ryan Lochte Do? is a total travesty. Namely because the premise of the show is completely muted and smothered by, “Hey, Ryan Lochte, amiright, ladies?”

It’s clear that he doesn’t know what he should be doing on this show, and it’s clear that the E! producers don’t have any clearer a picture. So without further ado, go ahead and get dumber with this clip promoting a good-looking idiot with no other material premise to speak of.

God bless.

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Chelsea Handler Was Attacked By A Sea Lion http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/chelsea-handler-was-attacked-by-a-sea-lion/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/chelsea-handler-was-attacked-by-a-sea-lion/#comments Wed, 12 Sep 2012 12:58:51 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=250861 Everybody's a critic.

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When you make a living by skewering pop culture with brutal honesty, it’s only natural that you open yourself up to attacks. Not only from Joan Rivers, but all manner of beast. Chelsea Handler was attacked by a sea lion while recently paddle boarding and had a chunk bitten out of her leg. She revealed her bandages on a recent episode of Chelsea Lately, and went on to explain how she survived this harrowing ordeal.

“I just remember from being on safari the guy was like, ‘Just make loud noises.’ So I’m in the water with one arm in the paddle board and I [made noises] and it worked! It really worked.”

So there you have it. Loud noises. For future reference, you can also make things go away by showing them episodes of Are You There, Chelsea? (US Weekly)

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7 Characters Who Are More Engineered Than A Kardashian’s Marriage http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-characters-who-are-more-engineered-than-kim-kardashians-marriage/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-characters-who-are-more-engineered-than-kim-kardashians-marriage/#comments Tue, 01 Nov 2011 18:31:32 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=234575 Well played, Kardashians. Well played.

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When Kim Kardashian announced her engagement to Kris Humphries, we immediately thought it was a publicity stunt. Meanwhile, the dumb girls in my office were proclaiming how happy they were for her, and how they felt that one of their closest friends was getting married. The E! Network saw the profit to be gained and paid Kardashian $17 milllion to air the wedding as a special. As soon as the check cleared, the couple announced they would divorce. This is the most blatant publicity stunt to ever publicity stunt, and a new low for Kim Kardashain who has lived a contrived, manufactured existence ever since she entered the public eye.

In fact, there are few individuals more manufactured than the Kardashian brand, and they’re all fictional. Here they are.

RoboCop – RoboCop

Left for dead by a gang of malicious thugs, Officer Murphy was saved by the cybernetic technology that makes up his body. He’s like 90% robot (despite what the film’s tagline would have you believe), but still longs for the domestic life he was forced to give up. Take a page out of RoboCop‘s book, Kim. He’d kill to have his wife back and here you are queefing all over the sanctity of marriage.

Captain America – Captain America

Born an underweight weakling, Steve Rodgers submitted to a top secret super soldier program that transformed him into the star spangled avenger, Captain America. He must feel foolish after all of the testing and procedures. Turns out he could have raised his profile easily with a leaked sex tape.

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