The Jetsons

OK, just stay with me on this. The Jetsons might seem like a squeaky-clean depiction of the future, but think about it: Why are all the buildings so high up? It must be a seriously polluted wasteland down there. And that’s not the only thing that’s creepy about The Jetsons – you’ve also got technology having completely invaded the lives of humanity – meals, clothes, even art is prepared by computers instead of humans. Pretty creepy, right?

Blade Runner

A more traditional dystopian future can be found in Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner, which depicts a far-flung future Los Angeles where it’s always raining and giant billboards loom over everyone. There’s also the matter of humanlike rogue replicants running around causing mayhem, which is why the “Blade Runner” of the title (Harrison Ford) has to hunt them down and “retire” them. Would you want to live in a world where Harrison Ford is paid to kill Rutger Hauer?

Minority Report

Behold, a chilling vision of things to come!

Like Blade Runner, Minority Report is also based on a work by Phillip K. Dick, and the future is almost as scary – especially if you hate advertising. But even if you don’t, you might be bothered by the notion of “Precrime,” in which people are arrested and lobotomized for murders they would supposedly have committed, according to three “precogs” (who sometimes disagree on what the future holds, hence the “minority report“). When the precogs say that Tom Cruise, head of Precrime himself, is set to commit murder, he has to go on the run from his own people.

This bleary look at the future seems pretty bad, but only if you’re a kid or know any kids. Otherwise, it’s not so bad. It’s not like there are zombies, cannibals, and thieves running around. Nor is the sky full of poison. And it’s not Detroit. With that in mindere’s a look at other film dystopias that are way, way worse.

The Road

Being a single father is hard enough without having to dodge cannibals. When a cataclysm kills off all plants and animals and blots out the sun, Viggo Mortensen and his son attempt to go south for the apocalypse. They have to fight off thieves and hungry people trying to eat them along the way. Also, pushing a shopping cart through the mud is always a crappy task. Get a tobogan or something, Viggo.

Land of the Dead

Yes. Cannibals are a pain in the ass, but zombies are a total nightmare. They don’t need sleep. They don’t get sick. And they smell almost as bad as Zuccotti Park. In Land of the Dead, zombies have taken over most of the planet. Survivors were able to set themselves up in a walled off city, but class warfare brings down their security systems and puts everyone at risk. So prophetic, George Romero.

Children of Men

Sure. Kids are annoying on three hour flights, but what if mankind were unable to produce more? In Children of Men, that phenomenon leads to social unrest, violence, chaos, and the collapse of society. I’d think it would lead to more disposable incomes and everyone banging all the time. Sorry, Children of Men. You make dystopias sound pretty awesome.