Teen Wolf Pug commands you to watch these fine programs tonight.

 

 

 

Network: FOX

Time: 7:30 – 10:30PM

 

Reasons to watch: The World Series begins tonight. Phillies at Yankees. But considering that New York is currently being pissed on worse than John Turturro in a Michael Bay movie, the game will probably be rained out. In which case, FOX will show reruns of House most likely.

 

Network: History

Time: 9 – 11PM

 

Reasons to watch: Using modern forensics, a criminologist and a cryptozoologist explore stories of a wolfman who was said to have terrorized the French town of Gevaudan in the 18th Century. I hope they explore the link between being a werewolf and kicking ass at basketball.

 

Network: AMC

Time: 10 – 11:45PM

 

Reasons to watch: Why would you return to the house? It’s on Haunted Hill for Christ’s sake. That’s as foolhardy as continually taking a shortcut through Nut Punch Alley.

 

Network: Comedy Central

Time: 10 – 10:30PM

 

Reasons to watch: Stan attempts to save the dolphins like Hayden Panettiere and Roger Murtaugh before her. And the crew of the Enterprise before him.

 

Network: MTV

Time: 10 – 11PM

 

Reasons to watch: The tangled love web between Wes, Johanna, Kelly Anne, and Cohutta is pushed to the limit. Tangled love web? Isn’t that what Wes has been shooting on Johanna’s stomach?

 

 

Lustable lush Chelsea Handler

 

Patrick Dempsey; Bud Selig; Sting performs

 

Lindsey Vonn; Uncle Kracker performs

 

Atticus Shaffer; Flyleaf perform

 

Madeleine Albright; Rodrigo y Gabriela

 

Edward Norton; Hulk Hogan; "Weird" Al Yankovic

Tonight on The Douchebag Olympics (aka RW/RR Challenge), the five fingers have a matter of great import to discuss with the face.

 

 

 

 

Network: Syfy

Time: 9 – 10PM

 

Reasons to watch: FROM THE OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE: "The Ghosthunters head to Chicago to investigate claims of disembodied voices arguing which isn’t totally easy to fake in post by the way. Why did I mention that? Now everyone’s going to know how fake this show is. Oh God! I can’t stop. AAARRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!"

 

Network: Discovery

Time: 9 – 10PM

 

Reasons to watch: The Mythbusters investigate different methods to curing a hangover. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, gentlemen. Your research on the subject is much-appreciated.

 

Network: MTV

Time: 10 – 11PM

 

Reasons to watch: "Okay Tonya. Fantastic stuff. That’s just great. Now when you slapped Veronica, it was bad for sound. Would you mind giving her another big old whack upside the head? Great. Thanks so much. Veronica, do you mind taking one off your grill. Awesome, honey. Thanks so much. Such a trooper."

 

Network: Comedy Central

Time: 10 – 10:30PM

 

Reasons to watch: The boys pursue careers as professional wrestlers after watching their first live match. That’s fine boys. But be careful. No matter how enticing that lifestyle is, I want you to promise to never get into a car being driven by Nick Hogan.

 

 

Rainn Wilson

 

Paul McCartney

 

Jennifer Aniston; Melanie Oudin; Pheonix perform

 

Salma Hayek; Rico Rodriguez; Dead by Sunrise perform

 

James Spader; Cathy Ladman; Laura Izibor performs

 

Elijah Wood; Taraji P. Henson; John Fogerty performs