“It’s three to five years average for most movies to get made, but often it’s 10 or 15 years. This is the kind of movie the business 10 years ago may have leapt at. But now, you don’t really see movies like this. We have a studio offer and we’re trying to back into a budget number, like we always have to do, without gutting the piece. It’s not a biopic, per se. It’s a gangster pic. It’s a movie that Miles Davis would have wanted to star in. Without throwing history away, we’re trying to shuffle it and make it more cubist. The bulk of it takes place in ’79, in a period where he actually wasn’t playing. But we traverse a lot of it his life, but it’s not a cradle to grave story.”

OK, so it’s NOT a biopic, it’s a gangster movie. And it takes place in a period when Miles Davis wasn’t recording any music. And there will be cubes involved? I don’t know whether to scratch my head or start quivering in anticipation of a movie as batshit as this sounds. Since this is Hollywood, there’s also a more conventional Miles Davis biopic in the works, from the guy who did Notorious. I wonder which movie will have an easier time getting made… (The Playlist)

Sgt. Gerry Boyle (Brendan Gleeson) is an Irish cop who takes acid on the job, alludes to crack experiences, and whores around with escorts. He plays around on crime scenes and mouths off when respectable officers try to lead. FBI Agent Wendell Everett (Don Cheadle) comes to Ireland to bust some drug traffickers, and he gets stuck with Boyle.

Basically, it’s Rush Hour with an obnoxious WHITE cop, and a reasonable competent black agent has to deal with him. Gleeson and Cheadle are both likeable enough actors, but I didn’t find many of their shenanigans amusing.

To be fair, I missed a lot with the dialect. At one point I thought Boyle accused someone of interfering with a llama, but there were no llamas in the case. Maybe on DVD with subtitles I’ll realize The Guard is a comic masterpiece.

Probably not though, because what I did understand wasn’t that funny. I know, I should find fondling the privates of a murder victim hilarious, but I’m just too highbrow. Boyle’s “innocent” racism is not ironically misguided. It’s just obvious. A foreign suspect tells her partner “there’s a black man at the door” in a subtitled twist on every Will Smith action movie joke. I suppose Boyle’s refusal to see Everett’s baby picture came out before “The Office” did it, but it’s still less funny in The Guard.

I don’t care about or fear the criminals they’re after. Towards the end there’s a nice standoff scene with banter between the hero and villain, and a fun cowboy climax complete with cowboy music. It’s still a mess.

Bell has joined the pilot “House Of Lies,” opposite Don Cheadle, who will play Marty, “a self-loathing highly successful management consultant from a top-tier firm who is never above using any means necessary to get his clients the information they want” in the dark comedy. Kristen will play an Ivy League graduate who works for Marty’s firm.

Rounding out the cast are Dawn Olivieri, Ben Schwartz, Josh Lawson, Glynn Turman, and Donis Leonard Jr.. If picked up to series, I’m not sure how this program will fit in with Showtime’s steady diet of boobs, drugs, boobs, sex, boobs, bare butts, booze, boobs and murder. Can we assume that Showtime is maturing? Because that would be some bullshit right there. (Deadline)

MTV caught up with Don Cheadle and asked about the Rhodey’s impending solo adventure. “Yeah. They’re developing it now. They’re working on that. I think they’ve hired a writer and so, you know, we’ll see how it goes. It should be a lot of fun.”

Cheadle also revealed that he didn’t think War Machine would turn up in The Avengers. But if you mess with the color levels on your television, you instantly replace Iron Man with War Machine. (MTV)

_{I’d say he took the news rather well.}

Marvel Studios recently gave Edward Norton a polite f*ck off by informing the actor they wouldn’t need him to reprise his role of The Hulk in the upcoming The Avengers movie to be directed by Joss Whedon. The studio is looking to cast at unknown, a.k.a. someone they can pay with turkey sandwiches. According to HitFix, this wasn’t Norton or Whedon’s idea, as the pair had recently shared their enthusiasm with Marvel about Norton returning. Norton even cleared out his day planner for the project, using puffy Hulk stickers to mark the dates he’d need open for shooting.

This news doesn’t come as much of a surprise considering Marvel is notorious for dumping actors in favor of the almighty dollar. They probably figure they’ve already got Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Samuel L. Jackson, Chris Hemsworth, Don Cheadle, and Jeremy Renner, so people are going to get their asses to the theater whether Norton’s in it or not. Also, during the making of The Incredible Hulk, Norton and Marvel butted heads over almost every aspect of the film. Maybe the studio is just trying to prevent the same from happening on The Avengers. Joss Whedon would put Norton in a coma with that alien-like cranium of his.

Director: Joss Whedon

Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Samuel L. Jackson, Don Cheadle, Scarlett Johansson, Chris Hemsworth, Jeremy Renner

Synopsis: Marvel superheroes join together to kick some ass.

Release Date: May 4, 2012

We’ve previously reported that James Franco would be mandhandled by damn, dirty ape paws in the Planet of the Apes prequel Rise of the Apes. Today, there are more casting rumors floating around. Bloody Disgusting reports that offers have been made to Don Cheadle and Freida Pinto to join the fight against the CGI simians. There’s no specifics offered about which roles the actors are being offered, but their presence alone should be enough to excite audiences. This project looks like it’s really shaping up.

And judging by this advance artwork I found, it’s going to be a little bit of a madcap romp.

This one’s for all of you losers who went out Saturday night and missed "Nickelodeon’s Kid’s Choice Awards". Your incessant need to beer bong and talk to women almost prevented you from seeing this Iron Man 2 TV spot featuring footage unseen heretofore. This new spot shows off Scarlett Johannson’s talent for saying words and reveals that her character doesn’t have the Russian accent she was expected to have. Up until now, I didn’t even notice she hadn’t talked in the previous ads. Between that and Don Cheadle‘s little moment, I guess the intent is to remind the public that there are actors in this movie amongst all the CGI.

Also note that there is zero footage of Mickey Rourke as villain Whiplash in this spot. Test groups show that Mickey Rourke doesn’t chart well with the youth demographic. Something about him being "scary" and "murder eyes." All that can be changed though by casting him as a rough around the edges babysitter who also is a spy. It’s your move FOX.

Watch the spot after the jump.

Iron Man 2 – TV Spot Kids Choice Awards 2010 – Watch more Funny Videos

With so much crime in the city, how do I teach these keeeeeeedz?! It appears Antoine Fuqua liked his breakout film Training Day so much that he decided to remake it as an ensemble drama and change the title to Brooklyn’s Finest. Ethan Hawke plays the same character he did in Training Day, except now he’s got more kids to provide for, and Richard Gere is an older, whiter version of Denzel Washington’s Alonzo.

Along with Hawke and Gere, the film stars Wesley Snipes in corn rows, Don Cheadle donning several different hats, and Will Patton, who’s always awesome. Their character’s stories interweave in a plot that’s not unlike Crash’s, but with more corrupt cops or something. Even though it’s doubtful, maybe this film will steal an Oscar too.

(via FilmDrunk)

Don’t stare into his creepy mo-cap eyes for too long. That’s how Zemeckis imprisons your soul. (Bleeding Cool)