Screen Junkies » Discovery Channel http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Mon, 11 Aug 2014 22:50:09 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Highest-Ever ‘Shark Week’ Ratings Prove People Still Enjoy Sharks In Non-Tornado Form http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/highest-ever-shark-week-ratings-prove-people-still-enjoy-sharks-in-non-tornado-form/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/highest-ever-shark-week-ratings-prove-people-still-enjoy-sharks-in-non-tornado-form/#comments Mon, 11 Aug 2014 22:50:09 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=264059 Maybe they should spin off proprietary weeks for things like "vegans" or "candlemaking." This has legs.

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Discovery Channel‘s Shark Week seems to be one of those things that gets discussed, praised, and shared far more than it actually gets watched. You know, like the last season of Arrested Development and that fun little shark-related jaunt Sharknado.

Judging by last night’s ratings, people are actually watching Shark Week. More people watched last night’s debut of Shark Week than EVER WATCHED ANY TELEVISION BROADCAST IN THE HISTORY OF THE MEDIUM. Just kidding. The Super Bowl and that M*A*S*H* finale are still pretty save. But it was the highest rating ever in the 27-year history of the annual Discovery Channel event. 27 years? They grow up so quick. If Shark Week was a person, it would already have graduated college, gotten its MBA, then moved back in with its parents because of the shitty job market.

Last night, the premiere pulled in (or “reeled in” if you want to be that way about things) 3.825 million viewers. While it’s possible that this year’s premiere night line-up was realyl strong, and marketed perfectly, I think this can simply be chalked up to the power of social media. Shark Week is one of those dumb things that people get all fired up about on The Twitter and The Facebook, tune in for an aggregate hour or so, then forgot the whole thing exists until next year, when people start hashtagging #hammerheadstrong or something like that.

Still, it managed to give us this, so…congratulations Shark Week, on all your success:

(Variety)

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Discovery Channel CEO Doesn’t Go Broke Underestimating The Intelligence Of The American Public, Makes $49 Million http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/discovery-channel-ceo-doesnt-go-broke-underestimating-the-intelligence-of-the-american-public-makes-49-million/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/discovery-channel-ceo-doesnt-go-broke-underestimating-the-intelligence-of-the-american-public-makes-49-million/#comments Wed, 03 Apr 2013 02:21:28 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=254252 He's like the A-Rod of bullshit television.

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We all assumed it, but now we know that filming rednecks doing stuff is incredibly lucrative. Discovery Communications (Discovery Channel, TLC, Animal Planet, and 25 other channels) CEO David Zaslav while increasing the company’s stock value by over 50%, made $49 million in 2012, which was remarkably slightly down from his 2011 take of $52.4 million in 2011, but up slightly from his 2010 take of $42.6 million.

Fuck me, that kind of money can buy a lot of shows about mustaches and people who systematically kill birds.

Perhaps he will use this crazy influx of cash to smooth out his jaw-dimples, or maybe he’ll just make some more shows. May I suggest:

  • Oatmeal Bandits (exactly what it sounds like)
  • FoxPunchers USA (ditto)
  • Car Crushers (show about people who get paid to damage used cars with bats for some reason)
  • Seven Dicks (show about 5 men and 2 women, all named Dick, who live in a trailer park outside of Gainesville)
  • Clown College Dropouts (a show that follows five people who failed out of clown college as they get a second chance at a career, working as executives in the Department of Homeland Security)

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‘Mythbusters’ Accidentally Sent A Cannonball Through A House http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/mythbusters-accidentally-sent-a-cannonball-through-a-house/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/mythbusters-accidentally-sent-a-cannonball-through-a-house/#comments Wed, 07 Dec 2011 18:24:18 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=239047 Before you laugh at this, please bear in mind that a minivan was damaged.

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“You see this cannonball? This one that ended up in my yard? I’m keeping it! You’re not getting it back, Mythbusters!”

The Mythbusters, that precocious gang of youths with the creepy facial hair and the one girl that everyone thinks is really hot by default, recently had an accident while firing a cannonball at the Alameda firing range in California. According to the Sheriff’s Department, the ball took “a few unfortunate bounces,” crashing into a nearby house, entering through one wall, and exiting through another.

The absolute best line from the AOLTV article?

“The San Francisco Chronicle said ‘cantaloupe-sized cannonball’ damaged the home and minivan of the Gill family.”

The Gill family minivan was damaged? At what price busted myths, Mythbusters? AT WHAT PRICE BUSTED MYTHS?

Mythbusters screwed over the Gill family of Dublin, California?

CONFIRMED.

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In Honor Of Shark Week, Here Are 9 Weak-Ass T.V. Sharks http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/in-honor-of-shark-week-here-are-9-weak-ass-t-v-sharks/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/in-honor-of-shark-week-here-are-9-weak-ass-t-v-sharks/#comments Mon, 01 Aug 2011 23:12:17 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=222939 You won't need a bigger boat.

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It’s Shark Week again on the Discovery Channel. In honor of the momentous occasion, we’ve decided to take a look at some of the weakest sharks to ever appear on the small screen. Shark Week, weak sharks: get it? Yeah you love it.

At any rate, here’s a look at the weakest, most pathetic sharks we could find.

The Dharma Shark (Ezra James Sharkington) – Lost

The Dharma Shark, which was jokingly named Ezra James Sharkington, is pretty much just a normal shark, save for the fact that the “Dharma” logo is imprinted on its back. Nothing is less bad-ass than corporate sponsorship.

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The President of the United States of America Barack Obama To Appear On ‘Mythbusters’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/the-president-of-the-united-states-of-america-barack-obama-to-appear-on-mythbusters/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/the-president-of-the-united-states-of-america-barack-obama-to-appear-on-mythbusters/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Is the woman in the back right Adam's mom? President Barack Obama has found some time in his busy schedule of running the Free World to offer up a brief appearance on "Mythbusters." On the episode which airs December 8th, "Obama challenges hosts Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman to prove the ancient Greek myth that scientist and polymath Archimedes set fire to an invading Roman fleet using only mirrors and the reflected rays of the sun." As any avid "Mythbusters" fan knows, they are revisiting this myth for a second go, as I'm sure they were trolled the first time around on the show's message board. Obama most likely led the flame war so he could get Adam and Jamie to design a new weapons defense system on Discovery Channel's dime. ...Suckers. (Deadline)

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Is the woman in the back right Adam’s mom?

President Barack Obama has found some time in his busy schedule of running the Free World to offer up a brief appearance on "Mythbusters." On the episode which airs December 8th, "Obama challenges hosts Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman to prove the ancien Greek myth that scientist and polymath Archimedes set fire to an invading Roman fleet using onl mirrors and the reflected rays of the sun."

As any avid "Mythbusters" fan knows, they are revisiting this myth for a second go, as I’m sure they were trolled the first time around on the show’s message board. Obama most likely led the flame war so he could get Adam and Jamie to design a new weapons defense system on Discovery Channel‘s dime. …Suckers. (Deadline)

 

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Steven Spielberg and Discovery Channel Team for ‘Future Earth’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/steven-spielberg-and-discovery-channel-team-for-future-earth/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/steven-spielberg-and-discovery-channel-team-for-future-earth/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Spielberg brings his "A" game to every project. Even upskirt videos.A press release from The Discovery Channel announced they are working with Steven Spielberg and Dreamworks Television to develop a new mini-series titled, "Future Earth". In a similar vain as "Planet Earth" and "Life", the series will examine the world of the future to show us how Earth is expected to evolve over the next  25, 50, and 100 years. Spielberg will personally oversee the project. It's yet to be determined if the impending robot uprising will be factored in."We're quite excited to bring our brand of sassy yet dead-in-the-eyes character animation to this revolutionary project," said Jeffrey Katzenberg, Chief Executive Officer of Dreamworks Animation.Although the future may bring prosperous advances to the worlds of technology and medicine, one area that will suffer is fashion. According to leading futurists, hammer pants are expected to make a huge comeback. Weird, I know. (The Futon Critic)

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Spielberg brings his "A" game to every project. Even upskirt videos.

A press release from The Discovery Channel announced they are working with Steven Spielberg and Dreamworks Television to develop a new mini-series titled, "Future Earth". In a similar vain as "Planet Earth" and "Life", the series will examine the world of the future to show us how Earth is expected to evolve over the next  25, 50, and 100 years. Spielberg will personally oversee the project. It’s yet to be determined if the impending robot uprising will be factored in.

"We’re quite excited to bring our brand of sassy yet dead-in-the-eyes character animation to this revolutionary project," said Jeffrey Katzenberg, Chief Executive Officer of Dreamworks Animation.

Although the future may bring prosperous advances to the worlds of technology and medicine, one area that will suffer is fashion. According to leading futurists, hammer pants are expected to make a huge comeback. Weird, I know. (The Futon Critic)

 

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