Screen Junkies » DIE HARD http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Wed, 17 Sep 2014 01:59:03 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Screen Junkies Show: What’s the Best ’80s Action Movie Of All Time? http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/screen-junkies-show-whats-the-best-80s-action-movie-of-all-time/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/screen-junkies-show-whats-the-best-80s-action-movie-of-all-time/#comments Thu, 07 Aug 2014 17:46:38 +0000 bgoldstein http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=263892 The '80s were packed with awesome action movies — but which one was the best?! We picked the top 16 contenders, threw them in a bracket, and assembled a panel to duke it out and decide which one was the Best '80s Action Movie!!

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The ’80s were packed with awesome action movies — but which one was the best?! We picked the top 16 contenders, threw them in a bracket, and assembled a panel to duke it out and decide which one was the Best ’80s Action Movie!! Today’s special guests: Kristian Harloff and Mark Ellis from Schmoes Know, and Jay Bauman from Red Letter Media.

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Honest Action – ‘Die Hard’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/honest-action-die-hard/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/honest-action-die-hard/#comments Tue, 17 Dec 2013 20:11:22 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=258402 From the Department of Bubble-Bursting

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It’s a bit cliche to complain about action films being unrealistic, so we decided to take our usual baseless complaining and put some science behind it. Medicine, actually. We ran the comings and goings of the action classic Die Hard by a medical professional (or “doctor,” if you will) to see exactly how far out on the limb the characters went.

Pretty far it would seem. Pretty, pretty, pretty far.

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The 7 Greatest Action Movie Enforcers http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/the-7-greatest-action-movie-enforcers-2/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/the-7-greatest-action-movie-enforcers-2/#comments Mon, 29 Jul 2013 21:30:55 +0000 Lee Keeler http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=256150 In honor of Elysium...

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Every great action story needs a villain, and every great action villain needs an enforcer. Going all the way back to the days of Beelzebub getting his hands dirty for the big man downstairs, right-hand men have been key to setting tremendous conflict into motion. Be it in District 9 or your classic Bond flick, these goons wreak varying degrees of havoc with motivations that range from personal vendettas to on-the-clock hooliganism.

In Neill Blomkamp’s forthcoming action-thriller Elysium, Matt Damon’s character Max will square off against one of the most cunning baddies to ever sleaze up the screen. So to commemorate the release of Columbia TriStar’s sci-fi/action smash-up Elysium, opening in theaters on August 9th, we’re stoked to present you with the seven greatest action movie enforcers.

Kruger, Elysium

What would happen if you had to deputize Patrick Bateman from American Psycho to get the job done? That is essentially the quandary posed and answered in Elysium when Jodie Foster’s Secretary Delacourt must let Kruger out of his cage. As the most sadistic post-apocalyptic baddie this side of The Road Warrior, Sharlto Copley goes against type in this role, delivering a sinewy psycho whose sense of duty is outweighed by an oddly playful bloodlust. Despite the high-tech noodlery of the year 2154, Kruger proves that sometimes a nice, rusty machete is all a fella needs to take the edge off of a bad day at work.

Jaws, Various James Bond Movies

You gotta be doing some serious henchman-ing to be considered the most ridiculous Bond villain. It just wasn’t enough to just have the durability to survive falling out of a plane, driving off of a cliff and fighting off a shark based on brute strength alone; this guy needed to have a grill that would make Lil’ Wayne blush on top of it! Pointlessly chewing his way out of situations and into our hearts, even Jaws could not survive Moonraker, which to this day serves as the apex of Bond franchise goofdickery next to that one with the voodoo and the chubby sheriff. It’s amazing, given the array of Bond villains spoofed in the Austin Powers franchise, that Jaws never quite made the cut.

Luca Brasi, The Godfather

That whole horse-head-in-a-bed thing? Luca’s handiwork. He may have been a towering, stuttering creep, but as Vito Corleone’s undercover muscle, Brasi was a terrific iceman because he didn’t require a crew to make a hit. Sadly, that whole lone wolf thing was precisely what lead to his downfall when three goons from the Sollozzo family saw to it that Luca slept with the fishes. Fun fact: On the low-key hired-killer tip, if you apply the lyrics of the Suzanne Vega song to this character, it kind of lines up: he doesn’t want you asking about some kind of trouble, some kind of fight. Just don’t ask him what it was.

Odd Job, Goldfinger

Caddy. Cheaffeur. Assassin. Odd Job wore many hats, but the most useful of them all would have to be the one with the razor-brim on it. When he wasn’t busy decapitating statues in Goldfinger’s front yard, the dapper merc could be found enjoying his favorite hobbies: tenaciously following 007 around, accepting pain from 007 with menacing smirks and tending to his derby cap with shocking aplomb. They just don’t make goons like this anymore; the guy helped his boss kill a woman by painting her to death. Sigh.

Karl, Die Hard

Karl, like most Germans, ist a herr who knows precisely what he wants. For example, in the great takeover of Nakatomi Plaza, after his brother Tony (?) has been brutally pwned by John McClane, Karl informs his compatriots “AAAAAARGH! I want blood!” While Karl, like most Germans, would likely have been extremely efficient at his job, he became that much more deft with a Steyr AUG rifle with the added incentive of avenging said mangled brother. But Karl, unlike most Germans, had a mullet so strong that it could resist getting lynched by industrial chains, only to have it blown clean off by Carl Winslow. Never work with family.

Colonel Kobus Venter, District 9

The bulldog of Multi-National United, Kobus tromps through the ghettos of District 9, gleefully keeping the weak and disadvantaged underfoot while on the clock. His villainy reaches near-comical heights, akin to the treacherous cheese of an 80’s WWF antagonist, making him a perfect foil to the ebullient Wikus Van De Merwe. Despite keeping his cool in the line of duty, Koobus’ urge to bully Wikus is exactly what makes him lose his head.

Kobayashi, The Usual Suspects

Unlike many of the brutal hatchet men on this list, Kobayashi is adept at the hands-off approach in carrying out the misdoings of his benefactor, the notorious Keyser Söze. An evil precursor to the sharp-tongued Dr. King Schultz of Django Unchained, Kobayashi delivers unflinching speeches that intimidate hardasses into backing down and scratching their heads. Just try to pin down that accent: is he Pakistani? Japanese? Irish? As the man himself said, “one cannot be betrayed if one has no people.”

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Happy Birthday ‘Die Hard’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/happy-birthday-die-hard/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/happy-birthday-die-hard/#comments Mon, 15 Jul 2013 17:06:58 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=255777 We'd buy you a cake but you'd probably murder bad guys with it.

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This week marks the 25th anniversary of Die Hard. At the time, the studio took a risk on Bruce Willis as an action star. It was a gamble that paid off huge and led to four sequels and the masculinizing of the phrase, “Yippee kay yay.”

Check out the write up over at Screen Crush that describes the bizarre inspiration for one of the greatest action films of all time, and how the role of John McClane was offered to and rejected by many unlikely choices — including Frank Sinatra. Weird, but it would have been amazing to see Old Blue Eyes with a machine gun.

Happy birthday, Die Hard. You are now old enough to rent a car. Then use it to kill a helicopter.

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Al Pacino Passed On Playing Han Solo And John McClane In ‘Die Hard’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/al-pacino-passed-on-playing-han-solo-and-john-mcclane-in-die-hard/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/al-pacino-passed-on-playing-han-solo-and-john-mcclane-in-die-hard/#comments Wed, 05 Jun 2013 08:49:43 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=255209 According to Al Pacino.

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If you’re ever upset that two of the most iconic roles in the past 35 years of cinema didn’t carry with them a cartoonish intensity that seems to come from nowhere, take your issues up with Al Pacino.

At a London event, Pacino, speaking to a crowd, let the world know that he passed on some pretty famous leading roles, including Richard Gere’s part in Pretty Woman (he would have snapped the necklace box on Julia’s fingers down so hard her fingers would snap and bleed, prompting Pacino to scream, “Don’t fuck me….EVER AGAIN!”) and those of Han Solo in Star Wars (which ultimately went to Ricardo Montalban), and John McClane in Die Hard (also Montalban, I believe).

But he DID take the role in Jack and Jill where he plays himself, so lest anyone be critical about his career choices early or later on…don’t.

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Bruce Willis Causes Massive Property Damage: The Supercut http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/bruce-willis-causes-massive-property-damage-the-supercut/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/bruce-willis-causes-massive-property-damage-the-supercut/#comments Mon, 29 Oct 2012 22:50:32 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=251748 Some people just can't have nice things.

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Someone has to clean all that up, you know. (Slacktory)

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In Honor Of The Underwear Bomber: 8 Inept Movie Terrorists http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/in-honor-of-the-underwear-bomber-8-inept-movie-terrorists/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/in-honor-of-the-underwear-bomber-8-inept-movie-terrorists/#comments Fri, 17 Feb 2012 19:32:49 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=245583 Always overcomplicating things.

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The Underwear Bomber who tried to blow up a jetliner with his underwear bombs has received a life sentence which he is now appealing after previously pleading guilty when representing himself in court. So, yeah. Not really an impressive lawyer or terrorist. In honor of this momentous day in the history of undergarment terror, here’s our list of cinema’s most inept terrorists.

Hans Gruber – Die Hard

Hans Gruber’s real fault was with his planning. His team of hostage-takers were certainly imposing and able to think on their feet, but in the end they just weren’t ready to deal with John McLane. The fact that a team of heavily-armed Euro-thugs weren’t able to take out one barefoot, mostly unarmed man is just ridiculous. Yes, Gruber definitely put in the hours in terms of anticipating and leading the police outside, but he really was poorly equipped for the eventuality that a police officer might make it inside the the building. Seems kinda odd that he’d go to all that trouble and not spring for bulletproof armor.

Howard Payne – Speed

Howard Payne’s plan was completely stupid. Yes. Plant a bomb on a bus. Good job. People will notice. But then to turn it into a dangerous game of cat and mouse with the cop that you hate is silly. Just go to the cop’s house and blow him up. I get that you want to publicly embarass him, so maybe you could blow him up on the toilet like the bad guys in Lethal Weapon 2 tried to do. Now those guys were talented at their gigs.

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9 Movie Hangovers Worse Than The One You’re Feeling http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-movie-hangovers-worse-than-the-one-youre-feeling/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-movie-hangovers-worse-than-the-one-youre-feeling/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:55:50 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=244621 We promise no loud noises.

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It’s the Monday after the Super Bowl. Everyone’s moving slowly, achy and hungover from the weekend’s debauchery. It hurts to think. It hurts to read. It hurts to type. However, as bad as it is, someone’s always got it worse. Like the dudes on this list. All you did was pound Natty Ice and have to make it to work. These guys got lit and then had to be around children or fight crime. We here at Screen Junkies are just thankful our mornings did not involve gunfire or children.

Dim your monitor and check out the nine worst movie hangovers.

Die Hard With A Vengeance

The most annoying thing about terror is that it never strikes when it’s convenient. Nobody knows this better than John McClane. In Die Hard With A Vengeance, he finds himself pulled into a dangerous game of cat and mouse with a terrorist looking to avenge his brother’s murder at the hands of McClane. Okay. First of all, his brother was a real dick. But you just can’t talk any sense into these terrorist guys, so he attacks McClane the morning after he went on an epic bender, forcing him to fight for his life in Harlem, stop a bomb from exploding on a train way downtown, and solve a number of annoying riddles. Have you ever tried to kill an elite team of international thugs singlehanded with a splitting headache? It’s not fun. He probably had to take an epic crap as well.

The Hangover

Imagine waking with a terrible headache to find a chicken in your hotel room. Add to that a tiger, a total mess, a missing tooth and missing best friend. The last thing you want to do after a night of debauchery is piece together the events of the previous evening. I prefer to eat something greasy and watch whatever’s on Syfy. Even if Richard Grieco is in it.

A League Of Their Own

When former Cubs slugger Jimmy Dugan is assigned to manage the all-female Rockford Peaches, he sees it as a huge step down from his former glory. And so, he treats it like a complete joke. Showing up to practice and games either completely hammered or woefully hungover. You do have to give props to the guy though. He knows how to make an introduction.

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8 Christmas Films With No Christmas Cheer http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/8-christmas-films-with-no-christmas-cheer/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/8-christmas-films-with-no-christmas-cheer/#comments Thu, 22 Dec 2011 19:54:56 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=240617 All these explosions are ruining Christmas.

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Things always seem to work out in the movies. That’s especially true when you’re dealing with movies set during Christmas. For this reason, it’s often nice, or at least surprising, when Christmas films run against expectations and exhibit less sappy or more macabre traits.

If you’re going to have one of your characters execute another, why not have him do it in a Santa hat? Irony! Beyond that, Christmas always makes for aesthetically pleasing (to me) and evocative set design, which can’t make a film better, but often makes them more enjoyable.

But mostly it’s the guys with guns in Santa hats. That shit’s gold.

Here are a handful of films that play against Christmas, rather than with it, to varying degrees of success.

Die Hard

What’s great about Die Hard is that it’s such an “un-Christmas” movie that just happens to be set during Christmastime. It’s remarkable that there’s only one really bad Christmas joke in the film (see the pic), but even the joke relies more on Alan Rickman‘s reading than the line itself.

The film actually opens with a strong Christmas theme (the limo ride for John), but that gives way to some of the best action cinema ever made, thankfully.

Batman Returns

Sure, the lush setting of a Gotham Christmas lured Tim Burton to set the Batman follow-up during the holidays, but the actual fact that it’s Christmas seems to be the elephant in the room. There are lots of Christmas settings, but the characters in Gotham seem almost forbidden to talk about it, which actually helps to draw Gotham as a very distinct world.

I was hoping this film would get people to start associating penguins with Christmas, but it hasn’t happened. Yet?

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8 Movie Wardrobes That Should Be Spun Off Into Fashion Lines http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/8-movie-fashions-that-should-be-spun-off-into-fashion-lines/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/8-movie-fashions-that-should-be-spun-off-into-fashion-lines/#comments Wed, 02 Nov 2011 14:00:19 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=234086 It's high time you started dressing like a fictional rape victim.

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It was announced recently that Swedish clothing retailer H&M will be launching a 30-item line of clothing inspired by Lisbeth Salander, the heroine of the popular book and upcoming film The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It’s not up for debate that this is a very cheesy concept. Lisbeth Salander is sexy because she doesn’t give a shit that she looks like a piece of roadkill. People shop at H&M with the expressed purpose of NOT looking like roadkill (with varying results). So the whole concept seems disingenuous and a little lame.

However, there are fashions from film that we would very much like to be peddled directly into our lives, be it cause they are funny, fashionable, or just because, if only for a few hours, we would like to dress like Michael Cera.

Bottle Rocket-Inspired Custodial Workwear

Sure, janitorial coveralls aren’t meant to differentiate, but why aren’t they? Just because one is cleaning or painting for most of the day doesn’t mean they don’t want to feel fashionable (I’m guessing. Maybe they don’t)! So let them look like characters in everyone’s favorite Wes Anderson movie that isn’t Tenenbaums, Rushmore, or Steve ZissouBottle Rocket.

While you’re cleaning the windows on the 25th floor of a skyscraper, imagine the happiness you’ll realize when an occupant of the building holds up a paper sign that reads:

NICE COVERALLS! YOU LOOK LIKE DIGNAN FROM BOTTLE ROCKET!

The Reservoir Dogs Collection

When you’re stepping into an interview, you want to appear tough and motivated. And who appears more tough and motivated than the gang from Reservoir Dogs? That’s right. No one.

The next time you’re sitting down trying to sell someone on yourself, wouldn’t you prefer to be channeling the spirit’s of Mr. Pink, Mr. Brown, Mr. Black, Mr. Orange, Mr. Blonde, and Mr. Blue, so that you can project an air of “If you don’t hire me, I swear on my mother’s life that I will cut your ear off, douse you in gasoline, and set you on fire.”

With that air of confidence, you’ll be sure to score the kindergarten teaching position!

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24 ‘Die Hard 5′ Titles That Make ‘A Good Day to Die Hard’ Look Brilliant http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/24-die-hard-5-titles-that-make-%e2%80%98a-good-day-to-die-hard%e2%80%99-look-brilliant/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/24-die-hard-5-titles-that-make-%e2%80%98a-good-day-to-die-hard%e2%80%99-look-brilliant/#comments Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:22:05 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=232199 It could have been much worse.

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Ok. The puns are reaching a James Bondian-level in the Die Hard franchise, so it’s really hard to criticize their title for the fifth installment, A Good Day to Die Hard. It’s not bad, but it’s kind of middle-of-the-road – not so bad it’s awesome, and not so good it’s clever. Since I’m not clever, I’m going to take the former approach and suggest some titles that make Snakes on a Plane seem like The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

I am aware there is a Twitter hastag (#betterdiehardtitles), but I didn’t examine it (besides my editor’s Tweets) in hopes of maintaining the integrity of my list. One look at some of the entries below and it will be immediately clear that I had no help with this piece.

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10 Movies That Make Hacking Look Surprisingly Easy http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/10-movies-that-make-hacking-look-surprisingly-easy/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/10-movies-that-make-hacking-look-surprisingly-easy/#comments Mon, 26 Sep 2011 15:32:32 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=229918 Someone needs some Norton Anti-Virus.

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If movies have taught me anything, it is that with enough practice, I can learn to hack into anything. It doesn’t even need to be computer-related. Something lame on television? Hack the channel. Cat stuck in a tree? Hack the roots to influence the branches to bend and gently place the cat on the ground. It’s so easy!

I was lead to this belief by the popular films that feature hackers doing what seems to be the impossible. Here are some films that show us that government agencies, corporations and even alien space ships are surprisingly easy to hack.

The Italian Job – Los Angeles Traffic Grid

Getting places in Los Angeles can be a bitch. But as The Italian Job shows, things are much worse when a hacker takes over and controls all of the traffic lights. Plus, he was able to do it over a T-Mobile Hotspot at LAX.

Hackers – Oil Tankers

The gang in this movie is on the run because they possess a code that can capsize oil tankers. Why would that code exist? It’s not like oil tankers have big, red ‘CAPSIZE’ buttons on them. I hope.

Ocean’s 11Casino Security

With millions of dollars passing through them everyday, casinos need top of the line security. With out it, they could find themselves easily duped by a hacker who redirects their video feed, which could allow for the dreaded “tiny Asian man in a box” scam.

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Director John McTiernan Won’t Live Free, Might ‘Die Hard’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/director-john-mctiernan-wont-live-free-might-die-hard/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/director-john-mctiernan-wont-live-free-might-die-hard/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 It's not unheard of for a huge flop to kill a director's career. But usually, there's no jail time involved. Unfortunately for director John McTiernan, Rollerball isn't your usual flop. McTiernan (Die Hard, Predator, The Hunt for Red October) was sentenced to one year in federal prison for lying about his involvement with Anthony Pellicano, a private investigator he hired to illegally wiretap producer Charles Roven. Roven and McTiernan worked together on Rollerball, and apparently when the film went south, so did their relationship. McTiernan's attorney argued that he should not be sent to prison, in part, because he is on an anti-depressant medication not approved by the federal Bureau of Prisons. The judge sarcastically responded that "(McTiernan) won't be the only depressed man in prison." Daaaaaamn! Yippee-ki-yay, motherf**ker! (Hit Fix)

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John McTiernan

It’s not unheard of for a huge flop to kill a director’s career. But usually, there’s no jail time involved. Unfortunately for director John McTiernan, Rollerball isn’t your usual flop.

McTiernan (Die Hard, Predator, The Hunt for Red October) was sentenced to one year in federal prison for lying about his involvement with Anthony Pellicano, a private investigator he hired to illegally wiretap producer Charles Roven. Roven and McTiernan worked together on Rollerball, and apparently when the film went south, so did their relationship.

McTiernan’s attorney argued that he should not be sent to prison, in part, because he is on an anti-depressant medication not approved by the federal Bureau of Prisons. The judge sarcastically responded that "(McTiernan) won’t be the only depressed man in prison."

Daaaaaamn! Yippee-ki-yay, motherf**ker! (Hit Fix)

 

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‘A-Team’ Screenwriter in Talks for ‘Die Hard 5′ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/a-team-screenwriter-in-talks-for-die-hard-5/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/a-team-screenwriter-in-talks-for-die-hard-5/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 It looks like John McClane won't retire from the murdering people in ridiculous ways business anytime soon. The super cop, who was last seen surfing on a jet, is being given another go-'round by 20th Century Fox. The studio is in talks with A-Team screenwriter Skip Woods to pen a fifth adventure for Bruce Willis's iconic ass-kicker.Woods is the only appropriate choice to write this film. McClane has already killed terrorists with icicles, giant fans, and gravity on a few occasions. Not to mention the time he killed a helicopter by launching a car at it. Who better to team him with than the writer responsible for a tank fighting a jet miles above the earth? I'm going to be sorely disappointed if this film doesn't have Bruce Willis tie the muzzle of a rifle into a bow so that it explodes in the gunman's hands. That's clearly the direction Fox wants to go in. (THR)

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It looks like John McClane won’t retire from the murdering people in ridiculous ways business anytime soon. The super cop, who was last seen surfing on a jet, is being given another go-’round by 20th Century Fox. The studio is in talks with A-Team screenwriter Skip Woods to pen a fifth adventure for Bruce Willis’s iconic ass-kicker.

Woods is the only appropriate choice to write this film. McClane has already killed terrorists with icicles, giant fans, and gravity on a few occasions. Not to mention the time he killed a helicopter by launching a car at it. Who better to team him with than the writer responsible for a tan fighting a jet miles above the earth? I’m going to be sorely disappointed if this film doesn’t have Bruce Willis tie the muzzle of a rifle into a bow so that it explodes in the gunman’s hands. That’s clearly the direction Fox wants to go in. (THR)

 

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Like ‘Die Hard’ Much? http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/like-die-hard-much/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/like-die-hard-much/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 If Alan Rickman ever holds this guy's Bonnie Bedelia hostage, he'll be ready.

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If Alan Rickman ever holds this guy’s Bonnie Bedelia hostage, he’ll be ready.

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Bruce Willis Wants to Go Global for ‘Die Hard 5′ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/bruce-willis-wants-to-go-global-for-die-hard-5/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/bruce-willis-wants-to-go-global-for-die-hard-5/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 He's battled terrorists of the German, mercenary, cyber, and hot Asian persuasion. Now it looks like he's ready to go another round. With a string of recent duds behind him, Bruce Willis announced he'll be reprising the role of John McClane while promoting his upcoming dud Cop Out. According to Willis, this time around will see McClane stamp his passport and terrorism in one fell swoop."I think we're going to do a 'Die Hard 5' next year. It's got to go worldwide."He then lamented the plight of the action star."But I like so much more making fun of it, taking the piss out of it and not making it a big deal. Not making the fact that I've acted in a lot of movies a big deal. It's all illusion and it's all bullsh*t and it's a great job for me to have, but everything else you can set on fire. Making people laugh is the real deal."The ghost of Chris Farley commented "F*********ck you," while pouring over pictures of Willis's hot wife. (MTV)

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He’s battled terrorists of the German, mercenary, cyber, and hot Asian persuasion. Now it looks like he’s ready to go another round. With a string of recent duds behind him, Bruce Willis announced he’ll be reprising the role of John McClane while promoting his upcoming dud Cop Out. According to Willis, this time around will see McClane stamp his passport and terrorism in one fell swoop.

"I think we’re going to do a ‘Die Hard 5′ next year. It’s got to go worldwide."

He then lamented the plight of the action star.

"But I like so much more making fun of it, taking the piss out of it and not making it a big deal. Not making the fact that I’ve acted in a lot of movies a big deal. It’s all illusion and it’s all bullsh*t and it’s a great job for me to have, but everything else you can set on fire. Making people laugh is the real deal."

The ghost of Chris Farley commented "F*********ck you," while pouring over pictures of Willis’s hot wife. (MTV)

 

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Nakatomi Plaza: Don’t Have Your Christmas Party Here http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/nakatomi-plaza-dont-have-your-christmas-party-here/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/nakatomi-plaza-dont-have-your-christmas-party-here/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 McClane needs to get back in there and kill some henchmen on the middle floors. There's probably a centrally located dentist's office that could provide good fodder.Don't neglect the middle links.25 Worst Romantic Comedies Ever (Moviefone)25 Pics of Verne Troyer with Hot Chicks (HolyTaco)2010 SI's Bodypainting Soccer WAGS (TotalProSports)Precious's Mom Sings in a Subway (FilmDrunk)Mark Coleman's 5 Greatest MMA Moments (CagePotato)Behold The Tonight Show's Rotting Corpse (Unreality)A New App to Lead You to Nookie (Asylum)12 Hottest Swimsuit Videos (Maxim)Blake Lively in a Bikini Being a Perv (CelebJihad)6 Most Successful Career Redefining Roles (Pajiba) CariDee English Caught Cheating (Atom)Anti-Valentine's Gift Guide (MadeMan)Danica Finally Races (AllLeftTurns)10 Sexual Euphemisms You've Used By Accident (RegretfulMorning)

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McClane needs to get back in there and kill some henchmen on the middle floors. There’s probably a centrally located dentist’s office that could provide good fodder.

Don’t neglect the middle links.

25 Worst Romantic Comedies Ever (Moviefone)

25 Pics of Verne Troyer with Hot Chicks (HolyTaco)

2010 SI’s Bodypainting Soccer WAGS (TotalProSports)

Precious’s Mom Sings in a Subway (FilmDrunk)

Mark Coleman’s 5 Greatest MMA Moments (CagePotato)

Behold The Tonight Show‘s Rotting Corpse (Unreality)

A New App to Lead You to Nookie (Asylum)

12 Hottest Swimsuit Videos (Maxim)

Blake Lively in a Bikini Being a Perv (CelebJihad)

6 Most Successful Career Redefining Roles (Pajiba)

CariDee English Caught Cheating (Atom)

Anti-Valentine’s Gift Guide (MadeMan)

Danica Finally Races (AllLeftTurns)

10 Sexual Euphemisms You’ve Used By Accident (RegretfulMorning)

 

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WHAT’S ON TV THIS WEEKEND: FRIDAY AUGUST 7th – SUNDAY AUGUST 9th http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-this-weekend-friday-august-7th-sunday-august-9th/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-this-weekend-friday-august-7th-sunday-august-9th/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Terrorism, theft, abominations of nature, and old people. This weekend's TV preview asks, Who would you rather go on a romantic ski trip with? Giant spiders or Joan Rivers??CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

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Terrorism, theft, abominations of nature, and old people. This weekend’s TV preview asks, Who would you rather go on a romantic ski trip with? Giant spiders or Joan Rivers??

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

 

 

FRIDAY AUGUST 7th, 2009

DIE HARD
Network:
FMC
Time: 8-10:30PM

Reasons to watch: The original entry in the Die Hard quadrilogy. John McClane possesses that rare mix of bad luck and exceptional talent for getting out of tight situations. It’s as if the Good Lord put him here on this Earth to keep us safe from all the bad mother%@#$ers out there.

 


PSYCH
Network:
USA
Time: 10-11PM

Reasons to watch: The boys of (late) summer are back with a new season. In tonight’s premiere, Cary Elwes guest stars as an art thief who may not be what he may seem. If he turns out to be a bottle blonde as opposed to a natural blonde, my world will tail spin into crisis.

WHO’S ON LATE?

LETTERMAN
Joaquin Phoenix, Anthony Hamilton, Bar Refaeli

CONAN
Eric Bana, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Flo Rida

KIMMEL
Quentin Tarantino, Rachel Nichols

FERGUSON
Don Rickles, Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings

FALLON

Paul Giamatti, Ken Jeong, Julian Plenti

SATURDAY AUGUST 8th, 2009


ICE SPIDERS
Network:
Syfy
Time: 7-9PM

Reasons to watch: Giant spiders escape from a top-secret lab to wreak havoc on a nearby ski resort and only three former Melrose Place cast members can stop them. Could happen.


BATMAN BEYOND: RETURN OF THE JOKER
Network:
CARTOON NETWORK
Time: 8-9:30PM

Reasons to watch: Fifty years after his death the Joker has returned to Gotham without having aged a single day. How is this possible? Cryogenics? Time travel?? Botox??? Raw foods diet???? Fans of Batman the Animated Series should definitely tune in as this movie elevates Batman Beyond to the quality level of its predecessor.

SUNDAY AUGUST 9th, 2009


WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?
Network:
ABC
Time: 8-9PM

Reasons to watch: Regis Philbin returns to the popular game show for a special  two week series of 10th Anniversary episodes. Wow. Ten years already? How friggin’ old is Regis? Anyway, watch the old codger make it rain on them Ho’s.


ROAST OF JOAN RIVERS
Network: COMEDY CENTRAL
Time: 10-11:30PM

Reasons to watch: Comedy Central takes pot shots at an old woman tonight. Roast Master Kathy Griffin leads Tom Arnold, Greg Giraldo, Carl Reiner, Jeff Ross, Melissa Rivers, Brad Garrett, and Whitney Cummings in an assault against the legendary comic.  These roasts are usually a fun time and if anyone can take it, it’s Joan Rivers. For instance, Rivers retorts with, "Brad Garrett, the only thing lower than your show’s ratings are Carl Reiner’s balls." The second lowest thing is Kathy Griffin’s balls.

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