Unless you are lucky enough to get your hands on an out of print or VHS copy, the only way to view these films is to steal them outright via digital piracy. Obviously, we don’t condone breaking the law, but if you want to watch a movie about Nic Cage catching leprosy (more on that later), sometimes you have to take drastic measures. If these films were available to purchase, that would be a different story. But since Hollywood chooses to keep them off the shelves, you can’t be held responsible*. With that in mind, here are five films Hollywood makes us steal.

* Note, you can and will be held responsible.

The Siege of Firebase Gloria (1989)

Anyone with even the slightest interest in cinema remembers R. Lee Ermey’s famous role in Stanley Kubrick‘s Full Metal Jacket. But this was not his only stint in a Vietnam War movie. Ermey also has a major role in The Siege of Firebase Gloria, a film that follows the exploits of a group of marines as they try to hold an outpost under attack by the Viet Cong. Although the film has some devoted fans (including Quentin Tarantino), you’ll have no luck finding it on DVD.

Fright Night II (1988)

Sequels don’t usually live up to their originals. I’ve never seen Fright Night II, so I can’t say one way or the the other. Chances are I won’t get the chance to see it, unless I illegally download it. Of course, I could go and buy a copy of the now out-of-print DVD on eBay. But considering the price is around $100 (depending on the auction) I think I’ll just go ahead and break the law. (Thanks for the tip, Mike Gavern).

Let It Be (1970)

Beatles fans would love a chance to own Let It Be on DVD. After all, the documentary chronicles what turned out to be the making of the band’s last studio album. But with no DVD release in sight, you’ll simply have to buy a used VHS copy. Don’t worry. I saw one on Amazon for only $300.

Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977)

Looking for Mr. Goodbar? Keep looking. Although it is widely considered a classic, this film about the sexual awakening of a mild-mannered schoolteacher (Diane Keaton) is out of print, with no plans for a release on DVD or Blu-ray. To add further insult to injury, copies of Something’s Gotta Give abound, proving there’s no justice in this world, even when Diane Keaton is involved.

A Time to Kill (Tempo di uccidere) (1990)

Not to be confused with the racially-charged Matthew McConaughey legal thriller, this Italian film stars Nicolas cage as an soldier involved in Mussolini’s invasion of Ethiopia. I could try to write up a funny little description, but I don’t think I can top what I found on Wikipedia…

Lieutenant Silvestri suffers a toothache and decides to reach the nearest camp hospital. En route to the dentist his vehicle has an accident, and stops near a rock. Silvestri continues by walking. On his way, he meets and rapes a young Ethiopian woman. Despite this, he and the Ethiopian fall for each other. While taking refuge in a cave Silvestri shoots at a wild animal, but the bullet ricochets and hits the woman. Silvestri continues to the dentist. Upon reaching the hospital, he reads a medical book, leading him to believe he has leprosy. As he tries to escape from Ethiopia, Silvestri must evade his former comrades and reach his wife in Italy.

Rape? Toothaches? Leprosy? This film has it all. Unfortunately, if you want to see this overlooked Cage masterpiece, you’ll have to download a copy (which might be damn near impossible), or track down an old version being sold online. (Thanks to Ross McDermott for these suggestions).

Olivia Munn has officially joined Aaron Sorkin‘s HBO drama about what happens behind-the-scenes – whoa, there’s a behind-the scenes? – at a cable news show. Currently the series is called “More As The Story Develops.” When I wished I could “see more” of Olivia Munn, her suddenly getting a lot of acting work was not what I had in mind. Stupid monkey’s paw. Meanwhile, Allison Pill (Milk) joins the cast as an associate producer in a shaky relationship with another staffer. The reason the relationship’s shaky? He accidentally asked her to give him some “forehead.” (Hollywood Reporter)

The old and buster Spider-Man, Topher Grace, is set to star in Gently Down The Stream along with Robert De Niro, Diane Keaton, Amanda Seyfried and Katherine Heigl. He’ll play De Niro’s son, who falls in love with his adopted brother’s Latin sister. Eh, that kind of thing happens all the time, I’m sure. Justin Zackham is directing. (Deadline)

Rapper / actor / vitamin water aficionado 50 Cent will play blind DJ Shamus Cocobolo in Stephen Sommers‘ Odd Thomas. Yeah, that does sound odd. Based on the bestseller by Dean Koontz, the film’s about a clairvoyant short order cook (Anton Yelchin) who follows around a suspicious man connected to an impending disaster. Odd Thomas also stars Addison Timlin, Willem Dafoe and Patton Oswalt. (Variety)

The movie is called Gently Down The Stream, and it will also star Katherine Heigl and Amanda Seyfried, who presumably will not be joining De Niro and Keaton in harmonizing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.” Here’s what they will be doing:

“De Niro and Keaton play a long-divorced couple who, for the sake of their adopted son’s wedding and his biological mother, pretend they are still married. They quickly learn that acting the part isn’t easy, especially when their past, present and future unravel for all to see.”

Sounds wacky! I hope there’s a scene where De Niro is like “No, we aren’t marr-I mean yes, we are married!” I’m already laughing. (Variety)

So, given all that, here’s a movie I know I’m not gonna see. The Look Of Love stars Ed Harris (Apollo 13) and Diane Keaton (good Woody Allen movies) in a romance about a woman who falls in love with a man that looks just like her dead husband. Awesome. Glad that General Hummel and Nina Banks from Father of the Bride have found each other. I will happily buy this on DVD for my mom as a Christmas present, as long as she doesn’t expect us all to watch it. (TheWrap)

Cast: Harrison Ford, Rachel McAdams, Diane Keaton

Synopsis: A hotshot television producer is set the challenge of reviving a struggling morning show program, despite the constant feuding of its high-profile anchors.

Release Date: November 12, 2010

_{JJ Abrams gives Ford and McAdams a sneak peek at the "Lost" finale.}

Finally, a movie staring Harrison Ford that you’re supposed to laugh at (besides Six Days Seven Nights and Hollywood Homicide, which you were supposed to laugh at, but didn’t).

Morning Glory, produced by golden boy JJ Abrams and co-staring Rachel McAdams, Diane Keaton, Patrick Wilson, and Jeff Goldblum, seems like it might have some legitimate humor. The movie tells the story of a “hotshot television producer is set the challenge of reviving a struggling morning show program, despite the constant feuding of its high-profile anchors.” It comes across as part Network, part "Today Now", and part steaming pile of sh*t. That last part is probably due to the fact that the film shares a screenwriter with Th Devil Wears Prada and a director with Notting Hill. Even so, the trailer looks pretty good until the 2:00 mark, when Ford gets emotional and that Natasha Bedingfield song kicks in (I looked her up).

See the trailer for yourself after the jump.

Morning Glory Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers